DD15's boyfriend joining us?

[BonSchwe]

I was raised very strictly where the only place your boyfriend ever was was in the living room or kitchen and if nobody was home they didn't even come in then. DD15 and I are coming down in Feb. and she wants to bring her boyfriend with us. Not many of her girlfriends could afford to come down and the ones that could are sisters and it would be difficult to choose one or the other. So now she has suggested taking her boyfriend. We are staying at POP and I know the rooms are very small. I'm torn and I'm not sure what to do. Any suggestions? Has anyone every taken a BF/GF with them? How old were they? Thanks!!

 

[Caitsmama]

Personally, i think 15 is too young for that. I would suggest for her to wait 3 yrs til she's 18, then they can go.. LOL..
Seriously though, i don't think i would allow my dd at 15 to bring a boyfriend. Remember, you would now be sharing a room with this kid too.. ALL the time.
And, what about during the day - would they be going off on their own?? If so, who's to say they won't end up back in the room? --- I don't mean to insinuate anything, i am just trying to think about all the angles for you........ I was 15 once, and ohhh.. do i remember! LOL

 

[ducklite]

In that situation I'd tell your kid "no."

I wouldn't want to share a room with a 15 year old boy for any number of reasons. I'd use the trip as a chance to spend quality time with my child.

Anne

 

[JESW]

That wouldn't fly at all in our house. To me, 15 is way too young.

 

[LISAVWL]

I'd say "no" too. I think 15 is too young to be bringing your boyfriend on a vacation. You'd be sharing a room 24/7! I think it would be very uncomfortable. Focus on spending some one on one time with your DD before she doesn't want to -- ah the teen years! UGH!

 

[noodleknitter]

15 year olds don't need to spend that much time together. This kind of situation causes intimacy that isn't appropriate. I dont' mean they would be off having sex everytime you left the room or necking 24/7 (they can do all of that at home!) but that it is difficult for kids this age to keep a strong sense of self when so involved with someone else.

 

[dana1003]

we went on our first disney vacation when i was 18 and asked my parents if my boyfriend-now husband-could come along and they gave me alittle resistance but finally obliged, and i was 18!!!!i dont know- having a girlfriend come along is different but a boyfriend?/ i agree w/the other poster, why do 15 year olds need to be that close? will one week apart"doom" them? then again, if he doesnt go, will she ruin your time together by constantly talking on tHE phone with him?? im 35, so 15 wasnt that long ago and i remember what i got away with my guys came over..i say NO WAY!!

 

[grlzmom]

In that situation I'd tell your kid "no."

I wouldn't want to share a room with a 15 year old boy for any number of reasons. I'd use the trip as a chance to spend quality time with my child.

Anne

My thoughts exactly

15 is just too young.

 

[DiznEeyore]

I agree with everyone else -- 15 is *way* too young to be taking a boyfriend on a trip like that! Make it a girls-only trip and have a wonderful time!!

 

[mandysbus]

Make it a girls only trip, for one thing 15 is too young (maybe 18 would be a good age), and another thing if you take him along you will probably doing disney by yourself...boyfriend will probably not want to hang with girlfriends mom. And it will be uncomfortable having this boy in your room for a week.

on the upside, you would be the koolest mom ever (in the eyes of the other kids) for letting your 15yr old take her boyfriend on vacation (which thinking back to my teenage years may not be a good thing)

 

[hollyb]

Sure bring him along and then you can be a Grandmother in 9 months!!!! One big happy family.

 

[disnutt]

I wouldn't do that. I know what I would have tried to do at 15 and even worse what my boyfriend would have tried to do at 15 .

Also, I'm now 42 yo and have absolutely no contact w/ my 15 yo boyfriend whom I had sworn "to love until the day I die". No desire for contact either. We just grew up. It may be fun/cool to have him go now but unless she gets tied down to him for some reason or another (and travelling together may hasten that) it really won't matter a couple months down the road.

I wouldn't lead my kid into temptation if I could help it and in this case I could.

 

[mom2my3kids]

no....

 

[tmarquez]

I agree with everyone else...no.

My DD is going to hate me when she's a teen, but to me...if I have a situation with a kid and I don't know what to do...I think...what would my grandmother have said/done? I wish our country could go back to some of those values.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Since you're going to be in one small room...no. If you had more family members going and you could do a "girls" room and a "boys" room, maybe.

When I was in high school I had a friend who's parents took her boyfriend with them to Switzerland. There were a total of 6 people, so it wasn't quite so intimate with just two teens going off all the time. He was very close to their family, and they genuinely wanted to do this for him. Is this kid an honorary son for you? If not, I would definitely not consider it.

 

[perdidochas]

I was raised very strictly where the only place your boyfriend ever was was in the living room or kitchen and if nobody was home they didn't even come in then. DD15 and I are coming down in Feb. and she wants to bring her boyfriend with us. Not many of her girlfriends could afford to come down and the ones that could are sisters and it would be difficult to choose one or the other. So now she has suggested taking her boyfriend. We are staying at POP and I know the rooms are very small. I'm torn and I'm not sure what to do. Any suggestions? Has anyone every taken a BF/GF with them? How old were they? Thanks!!

My general opinion is that if you don't have boys yourself, don't let him go with you. Teenaged boys are smelly, loud critters that eat a lot.

 

[antmaril]

I took my son's girlfriend with us when he was 18 and his gf was 17. We were staying at Universal and I had a king suite reserved. She and I slept in the bedrooom and my son slept on the sofabed in the living room. I'm not sure I would have done this in a regular room and I agree with the others that 15 is a little young.

We had a wonderful time and she really enjoyed the trip. She had never been on a plane and it was her first trip to Disney World. I paid for everything and I don't regret it.

However, I think 15 is a tad young to bring the boyfriend.

 

[Kies99]

Why are people uncomfortable with saying "no" to their kids? You are the parent and you are in charge. No if's, and's or but's.

15 is way to young to be allowing something like that. If his family wants to go at the same time and you all spend time together, that's one thing. Her bringing him along with your family is another.

And yes, I have 2 daughters and I would just say no (Does that make me Nancy Reagan??? )

 

[Disney4Drew]

No Way!

 

[crisi]

The average length of a teenaged relationship is only about three months. Imagine looking at these pictures in four years and saying "oh, yeah, remember Dave, that guy who dumped you for that redheaded girl."

Even if there is no hanky panky and this doesn't intesify the relationship - its unlikely that this is going to be her forever life partner - and its fairly likely that at some point she will think he is the biggest loser on Earth.

(I'm thinking of my high school boyfriends, and how many of them I'd be thrilled to have in significant family memories of that time - answer - zero.)