DD11's Doctor's appointment - Weight related

[MelanieC]

Hi everyone,

I am hoping you all can give me some words of wisdom. DD was very thin until she turned 9. Then those pre-puberty hormones kicked in and she started gaining a little weight. Not tons, but just enough that she started having a problem getting jeans to fit. She also got a little lazier, as alot of kids these days seem to get. Last year at her annual check-up, the doctor mentioned that her weight was up. Not overly concerened but, something to think about and see if she could get more active etc. During the summer, and during the fall (cheerleading), she thinned out a little and probably got a little taller too.

Last night she had her 11 year check-up and the doctor again said that her weight was higher than it should be. She measure 4'9" and weighed in at 103 pounds. I asked him what a good weight for her age and height was and he said 85 pounds.

I have alway's harped on my kids about the junk they eat. Unfortunately with school, summer camp, before and after programs..........the snacks, breakfast's lunches etc are more out of your hands. For example, I get so steamed that when the kids are at summer camp they are feeding them sugary cereals. How healthy is that. Snacks are again, all sorts of processed crackers, cookies etc. School lunches, while some are healthy, leave a lot to be desired. They offer sweetened ice tea and juices, and of course the kids never want water. She will be going to middle school soon, and I fear that there will be the influances of all sorts of high fat, sugary drinks etc.

Now that I have been on my journey to a better lifestyle, I have really been harping on DH to get the soda and junk food out of the house. He thinks I have turned into some kind of freak (a freak he still loves thought! LOL)

I mentioned that I did weight watchers, and I asked if it were ok for her to do. He said yes, because it teaches healthy eating, but she would have to WANT to do it, and I couldn't make her do it. The funny thing is that a week or two ago, her and I were talking about healther eating and she said she wanted to try to do a WW's with me so she could learn to eat healthier. She really wants to wear jeans like all the other girls, and I think that is a big motivator for her. I just want her to be healthy, and not live a life of being overweight like I have. I started gaining weight at 16 though, so I didn't have to worry abou it so early. My mom, who I love dearly never taught me about eating well etc.

After her Dr's appointment, she asked if we could go to the store and get her stuff for her to eat better. We bought her healthy chips, snacks, yogurts, almonds and sunflower's for salads. Tonight we are going to go to a local farmers market and purchase a bunch of veggies. I am also getting whole wheat today, and going to add half flour, half whole wheat to our Friday night Pizza nights. We have also made the switch to using only veggies on our pizza's (it used to be pepperoni and sausage). Last week, we had all sorts of veggies on it.

My goal for her, is to to NOT obsess about loosing weight, but to learn how to enjoy healthier versions of her favorites.....and to show her that eating candy, soda and other processed junk is not necessary for an enjoyable life. That there are lots of other foods out there that can be substituted. I would like this for my husband and son too. I just have to convince him (and this may be a good way) that he shouldn't have all that stuff in the house. Maybe I can show him, that he must make an example for his kids so they don't go through what I have. (DH has always been skinny and can eat whatever he wants.)

Anyways, I would love to hear if you think I am going in the right direction, or if I should just leave her alone? I don't want to make her self concious, or have it ruin her self esteem. I want it to to the opposite, and teach her. I just want wan'ts best for her........and I don't wan't her to have problems in High School (when it's harder to make changes in your lifestyle).

Sorry this got so long.

Thanks everyone,
Melanie

 

[Mskanga]

Melanie, I have the same problem and dd is only 10. The only place I can ever find jeans for her is Sears . She has her physical in two weeks, and so far the doctor has never said anything about her weight, if he ever does , I will make sure she won't be in that room , she's already obsessed enough.
And to be honest with you, my kids don't eat much junk , they both eat the same and one is a toothpick , the other one is chubby, in our case is genetics , on both sides of the family.

 

[jenanderson]

Melanie,

I love the attitude you are taking with your daughter. It does not sound like you are pushing her in any direction. It sounds like she is interested what you are doing and you are teaching her a real life skill of healthy choices for life. I think that by continuing to be a positive role model for her with the choices you are making and by showing her options she has to make her life healthier, she will do great! You are right to want to teach this to her now - it does get much harder as they get older. Keep going because you are really on the right path with your daughter. Even if your DH doesn't ever have to worry about what he eats because of weight, having the family eat healthy will be good for him as well. I am working on educating my family as I follow weight watchers. It has been really hard to be the only one in the family eating healthy at times and it is even harder when when there is a lot of junk food in the house tempting me to cheat. I have been doing okay but I have been making an effort not to replace all of the junk when it runs low. For example, when the chips ran low this past week, I brought my daughter shopping and convinced her that we should make some sugar free jello jigglers instead. We made a bunch and everyone loved snacking on them. No one even missed the chips and we all had a healthier couple of days as a result. My DD has started to make comments about our food and has even requested alot of the better choices when we do go shopping. I think that educating your daughter by talking with her and by being a positive example in her life you will get a great result back. It is wonderful that you are taking this approach with her. I hope you continue to be successful with your goals and that your daughter learns healthy choices from you! Keep up the great work!

 

[yasuern]

I am always for teaching kids healthier alternatives to high fat high sugar foods - Keeping her in activities on her off season may also help. My DD now 8 has worn the same size clothes for 3 years - yes 3 yrs! She was my little Budah Baby - Chunky as could be now she is MUCH taller 53"(4 ft 5inches) and weighs 72lbs - she is not "thin" but she is not fat either. She' strong and although not very graceful - athletic - she has VERY large muscles thighs not flabby at all! and loves to swim! - I look around at alot of the other kids in her class and some of them are EXTREMELY!!! THIN!!! - they look like they are going to break in half if bumped into - We do live in a if your thin your great society - on the other hand or youths are getting dangerously overweight - because of computers, video games and less outside activities - So Yes - teach you DD to choose healthy foods and eat better but don't make it an issue if occassionally she has a hot fudge sundea or something of the like! Okay I have babbled enough - I guess I am saying I agree!

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Melanie, I think you are doing the right thing. By making health rather than weight the focus, you are teaching her how to eat for the future.

 

[TigH]

I think you are doing the right thing, Melanie. Kids change so much when they are growing though. My cousin (Megan) is 23 and tall, well filled out chest, very flat stomach and looks gorgeous. She was a short, chubby teenager though. She started getting taller around age 14 and shot right up (and my goodness her chest really grew, I'd pay for those on my own body!) And she ate Doritos and drank Coke like it was going out of style. There is just no way of knowing what will happen to them.

However, I think you are very smart to get her into the habit of eating healthier things now. Although my cousin is super thin and very healthy looking, I don't think she exercises and I know she still eats junk food. So I wish she would take better care of her insides as well. By teaching your daughter NOW how to eat healthy, you are doing her a favor. It's not just about being thin, explain to her that being healthy isn't just a particular weight on the scale or a size of clothes, but that it's important to provide the right food for her body to grow and be healthy so she will live a long life.

Ross and I went to the cardiologist's office yesterday so he could have some tests done. We were the youngest people there (kind of scary) but also the most physically fit. So many people were really over weight, wheezing and looking miserable. Two ladies who had the stress test opted to NOT use the treadmill to raise their heart rate, they took some medication instead. They just didn't want to get all huffy and puffy on the treadmill. It was pretty sad. We both left the office knowing that the way we are eating and exercising NOW is going to help us extend our lives and also keep us (God willing) fit to enjoy living as long as we are able to!

Keep up the great work. If we had chosen to have kids, I would be trying to go the crunchy granola way myself and really limit their exposure to processed foods. Help your DD form a great relationship with fruits and veggies!

 

[nativetxn]

Travis joined WW when he was 10. We went to meetings and everything. He had to have special permission from WW to sign up because he was only 10.

It helped him lose his excess weight. He eats controlled carbohydrate now and is gorgeous (if I do say so myself).

I think WW is a good plan for kids and I think you have a good attitude. Perhaps thinking of it as eating for good health, as opposed to eating to lose weight, will help your daughter to internalize the principles of eating more healthy foods and she can nip this issue in the bud.

You're such a good mom, Mel. I truly admire you.

Katholyn

 

[MBFergie]

I have a DD12 who is thin and eats whatever is in the house 24/7 but is extremely active (competitive cheerleading at least 5 days a week). Then there is my son, not as active, eats way better then her and is overweight. This summer I decided the TV is off unless there was some form of physical activity first. I think this is a key...since I don't get on the scale myself I haven't had him on it either. But all the clothes I bought for our cruise (tomorrow!! yeah!!) are very loose on him now so it must be working.

Anyway, try and get her to become more active in some type of sport. Since you mentioned she cheers there are some great sites on the web about building muscles to get the jumps higher, and they work great. Also if you have a tumbling gym around it's a great for cheerleaders to have.

Maybe the two of you can find time to walk and chat. Will be great physically for both of you and she is getting to that age where the girls tend to stop talking to the mom, this will help keep the lines of communication going.

Best of luck!! I wish my mom was more encouraging like you instead of demanding. Tell someone to diet never works!!

 

[Rajah]

I don't have kids so can't offer any advice from experience, but it sounds to me like you're doing it exactly the right way. Good luck!

 

[geetey]

Melanie,
I think you have a wonderful plan! I have definitely become more conscious of the 'junk' I was buying and feeding to my family. As the kids have noticed that my eating habits changing, they (especially my now 8 yr old son) have asked why I eat differently.
We talked about making healthy choices and now I have a little chart for the kids to mark off if they have eaten their 5 fruits and veggies for the day. It definitely helps them SEE if they are making healthy choices. Now an apple, grapes, cherries, peaches, a salad, cubes of cheese, etc. are a snack request. I hope to ingrain those healthy habits for life, so they don't have the struggles I have.
I have really stressed that I am eating to be HEALTHY (not weight related). That I exercise to be HEALTHY. They can see the health problems their grandparents are having, and I simply say if I eat healthy and exercise, then my body will be healthy and work for me for a long long time to come. We all like that idea!!
I know you are doing a wonderful job for your daughter and your entire family! Good luck, Melanie!