dd wants to come home from school already!!

[huey duey & luey]

I did not go away to college and it is probably my biggest regret. Give her some time I am sure she will grow to love it
Tara

 

[tc]

I can feel your pain. My daughter went to college 8 hours from home and the first weekend she called every day, sometimes twice a day. She cried and begged to come home. She also roomed with her best friend. We told her to stick it out for the semester, and then, after that, if she was still miserable, she could come home. It was the hardest thing I ever did to not run to Kansas and save her from the horror of college. Glad I didn't; within weeks she was over it. She made new friends, loved her classes and got invovled. She graduated a year ago and just married a boy she met in college.

That first few weeks are horrid, but, from my experience, she'll adjust and she'll love college. It's just so hard to move away from home and start this whole new life.

Prayers and pd from a mom who knows exactly what you're going through!

 

[wld]

Just another mom logging in thats dd starts classes today. This is our second one and it wasn't any easier than the first one. First one went 7.5 hours away. This one is 9 hours but only 1.5 from her sister and cousin. I told my dh I was glad there were only 2 because I wasn't doing this again. He said he wished he had one more so they could pick the college and then he could say "no, you aren't going there". I think this one is a bit harder as she left a boyfriend behind, still a senior in high school.
We told her she has to do the semester as this was her decision and we had tried to talk to her about many other options. It's up to her whether she has a miserable experience or not. She is homesick but I feel like she is making the effort. She seems to have met a great many young men that she is watching tv with....Well the school does have more boys than girls. She said alot of the girls are just sitting in their rooms. I told her they are homesick like she is...go talk to them...step out of your shell a little. We talk every day and will continue to as long as she needs me to. After about 2 weeks I started talking to the oldest about every other day and many times she was busy.
However if she were truely depressed and miserable after a while we would rethink it. I think she will be okay but will probably transfer after this semester.

 

[hoosll]

Bump - I'm bumping this as i know many parents took thier child to school over the weekend and would benefit from all the great advice.

 

[Saphire]

Sure sounds like some wise, supportive Mom's (and Dad's) here! After going through our second orientation session for parents of incoming freshmen, the word was to give them at least until Thanksgiving before you even consider transfer or coming home. They said it takes months to adjust to all the changes, and not to be surprised by 'those' phone calls. They said you should give gentle encouragement to stay with it, things will get better, get involved in activities, sports, etc. We will see if I need to take that advice this time, we drop off our second son this Friday. Best wishes, mareb, and all others with freshmen leaving home!

 

[mareb66297]

i talked to dd yesterday after classes and things seemed better, but when she called las night she was miserable again!! what i think it is is the boyfriend back home calling her and upseting her. we are not crazy about this guy.. a real bad boy!!! so we are hoping her being away and around other boys will help with that. but i think he is really giving her a guilt trip when he calls her.
she is coimg home for the long weekend!!!! i just hope we can get her back LOL!! i'll keep you posted!!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Originally posted by mareb66297
Blueeyes101817
you were right near me!! the u of s is about 20 min from me!!! they can;t have a car first year so that can be part of the problem too, they are used to jumping in it when ever they want or are bored!!

i was actually at Marywood University....but still pretty close

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Originally posted by mareb66297
Blueeyes101817
you were right near me!! the u of s is about 20 min from me!!! they can;t have a car first year so that can be part of the problem too, they are used to jumping in it when ever they want or are bored!!

sorry--double post!

 

[krissy3483]

I went through something very similar to your DD my freshman year of college, so I just thought I'd share. Went to a very large school (10,000+ undergrads) about 3 hours from home after graduating from a small, private hs (120 in my class). One of my roommmates was my bf from hs, and we were also tripled with another girl neither of us had met. From the very beginning, I felt lost and absolutely hated it. I'm a pretty shy person (even moreso then) and just did not want to go out every night like everyone else on my floor. This left me sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself. I never went out and met people, and I still regret that. Instead I just latched on to my friend from hs, and we ended up hating each other. About a month before the semester was over, I ended up moving out of that room and into another one. I transferred to a local college when the semester was over, and have been there ever since. For the first year, I commuted from home, and now I have an apartment with another girl near school.
My advice would be to definitely stick out the semester. You don't want to lose out on time, credits, and money unless you really have to. Don't let her come home every single weekend (I did, and I lost out on so many chances to meet people). Encourage her to just walk around her building and pop her head into any open doors. It's a big first step to make, but you have to remember that everyone else is looking to make friends too. If you do it around dinner time, you're almost guaranteed to find someone who will go eat with you. Looking back, I think its really important to get her away from her best friend so that they're not dependent on each other. Sooner or later, one of them is going to meet a lot of people and will resent the other girl hanging on to her. Lastly, don't forget to write, and get other family members to write and call as well. Nothing cheered me up more than getting cute little care packages from my mom.
I hope everything works out for your daughter, lots of pd to you and her as well.

 

[minniecarousel]

Hey, Mare - maybe if she meets some neat college guys, she'll forget the boy back home!

Both of my boys had a rough time at their "first" school. The oldest came home after one quarter at his first. Younger DS made it through the year, but really screwed up his GPA, transferred to the school he will graduate from in May. My advice is to encourage her to get involved in SOMETHING! Both of my boys said that was their one big regret - that they didn't seek out stuff to do that first year. There are sports teams for just about everything in the dorms. There are clubs for so many different things. Joining the Law Club on campus his Junior years got my younger son an internship this past summer and for the school year. Extremely valuable for his law school application! Since she's so close, weekends home are easy, but she shold be trying to stay on campus for the social activities. Man, this is the tough part of parenting that "they" never warned us about! Hang in there!