DD struggling in school...need help!

[Sammy]

My DD-11 is struggling in 6th grade and though she's not in danger of failing, she's too close for my comfort. She's headed for an academically-challenging Catholic Junior High next year, and I'm worried about her doing well there as well. For the rest of this school year, and throughout the summer, I'd like to supplement her traditional school work by working with her at home. I guess my question is: I don't even know where to start! I've had several meetings with her teacher, but she really hasn't been much help at all. She just keeps telling me to have DD "study more". I'm hoping I can get some advice from those of you who have homeschooled, or might be in my same situation.

Should I be looking into some kind of official homeschool curriculum? Or just pick up different workbooks at the local learning store? I'd be happy to hear any and all advice or suggestions. I'm completely lost here.

Thx,
Sammy

 

[powellrj]

I have never homeschooled, but I have used tutors before and was going to suggest if you have a college near you give them a call and see if they can help you.

We have 2 colleges very close to us and the larger one has a teachers college and they have wonderful classes taught by students that we have used before. They are very low cost and have really helped. Just call the school and see what they have.

We also have a small private chirstian college that we have used for specific subjects. Call the switchboard and they can put you through to who you need to talk to. I think we paid $10 an hour and have always had grad students who really could give more help than I was able to.

 

[minnierocks]

I homeschooled my children for three years, and I would suggest that you go with homeschool curriculum. I tried to use some of the workbooks that you can pick up in the stores, and found them to be really lame. But beware, even in homeschooling books, you can find material that is unusable. You didn't mention with what subjects she is struggling, so I'm not sure what resources to suggest. Also, you want to take into consideration "how" she learns. Does she love to read? Does she love to create with her hands? Does she need to "see" math, in order to understand it? There are so many avenues to take...it is overwhelming!
Check out a few homeschooling resources at your local library. The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling by Debra Bell was my lifeline! I believe that there is a section in the book that talks about supplementing your child's education. There are tons of resources listed. Right now, there are many homeschooling fairs. Stroll through and check out different curriculums. You know your DD better than anyone else and after flipping through a book, you'll have a pretty good idea of what will work.
I commend you for wanting to help your daughter. One of the most heartbreaking things a mother will experience is watching her child struggle and not knowing how to help. I've been there, but you will never regret taking the time to help her through this...Good luck!

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Does DD's school have a website? The schools in our town have a website that posts the curriculum for each class and that helps the parents know what they need to study, or at least gives you a starting point. They also try to list recommendations for websites that are helpful. Anyway, just a thought in case this is something available where you are.

 

[Sammy]

...I commend you for wanting to help your daughter. One of the most heartbreaking things a mother will experience is watching her child struggle and not knowing how to help. I've been there, but you will never regret taking the time to help her through this...Good luck!

Oh my gosh....thank you so much! You've just put the entire situation into words I couldn't explain! She has been struggling so much this year and I have no idea how to help her right now. I've tried working with her teacher to no avail, and I'm so frustrated! I had never really thought about the "how she learns" aspect of all this, so thank you for that advice as well. I'll definitely be spending some time at the local library looking at the books you recommended.

Thank you to the OP who suggested tutors from the local college....we have one right down the street so I'll look into that too.

Sammy

 

[minnierocks]

Oh my gosh....thank you so much! You've just put the entire situation into words I couldn't explain! She has been struggling so much this year and I have no idea how to help her right now. I've tried working with her teacher to no avail, and I'm so frustrated! I had never really thought about the "how she learns" aspect of all this, so thank you for that advice as well. I'll definitely be spending some time at the local library looking at the books you recommended.

Sammy

You're welcome!
It is frustrating...and dealing with a teacher who isn't interested in providing support doesn't help. I want to encourage you though...YOU CAN DO THIS!
It may take some time and a lot of effort for both of you, but I have never regretted pulling my DS out of public school to get him back on track. He is an honor roll student, who gets good grades easily. That would not have been the case had I left it up to someone else. Don't get me wrong...there are a lot of really good teachers out there who do everything that they can to help children succeed, but they can only do so much. I wasn't willing to risk it.
You're doing the right thing, by trying to help her along!

 

[jenlynn0808]

I have a question. Has the school ever suggest DD be tested for a learning disability? I am asking this as a teacher.

When I have a student in my room (4th gr.) that is struggling academically, the first thing I do is try to figure out why. If there is no clear cut reason (after a lot of investigation and other 'political' loops) we look into having the special education, speech therapist, & counselor do some testing. I have seen kids not qualify as LD,but it is discovered that they have a language problem (not articulating, but processing). Just having that piece of information can be very useful not only to the teacher, but to the parents as well.

Kids are very resourceful & resilent, and sometimes they teach themselves coping mechanisms and it isn't until they reach a point in their education when those coping techniques can't keep up that they start having problems academically.

You can always request that the school test your DD. If they tell you it is too late in the year or the teacher (btw-shame on her for blowing off your concerns ) doesn't listen, then when the new school year starts, I would immediately go to the new school and talk to the principal, counselor, homeroom teacher about your concerns. They can start the process early in the year and get DD the help she needs.

The tutor is a good idea, it will help her retain the skills she has learned over the summer and may help clear up others. However, keep in mind that if she is struggling for other reasons, it could just frustrate her more.

I don't want you to think I am implying that DD has a learning disability, because I'm not. Everyone seems to be mentioning tutoring, and I just wanted to give you another possibility/point of view. I hope this helps you and DD.

 

[TheDizMom]

I think you definitely need to determine what kind of learner your daughter is. My DD kindergarten teacher said at her last conference she needs to go to summer school because she is struggling with numbers, counting etc. This came as no great shock to me as I suck at math and my DS unfortunately struggles there too . My DD is going back to the home preschool she went to starting at 2 1/2 , since I went back to work 2 days a week. I talked to her former preschool teacher and she said it's because of the way they are teaching her. My DD needs to see it and often otherwise it just doesn't seem to click. She also said that compared to where she was last year she has come a long way . I am someone who needs to hear it, so this made sense to me. I learned in school that if I listened well and took good notes I would do great because I couldn't grasp what I read in a text book to save my life Anyway, my point is find out how she learns best and I bet it will help her and you . My kids school has their students fill out a questionare in 4th grade about how they think they learn and then the teacher tries to take what the child has said and their own observances and utilize that when teaching them. Obviously it isn't totally catered to each child but they let them use methods that helps them learn better. It has really helped my son. You could also try something like Sylvan or Huntington. I know they are more expensive but if you aren't near a college where you might find a less expensive alternative it might help. My guess is they will probably evaluate the learning style of your child to help tutor them.

 

[barbmouse]

Hi! I too commend you for working with your dd. I agree with another poster who mentioned having her tested. this will let you know where her strengths/weaknesses lie and where she has "holes" that may be preventing her from grasping concepts. It is probably too late for this school year but you can also seek private testing ($$$).

The tutoring suggestion is a good one that I would second as well. I would also download the curriculum so that she is being taught required material.

If she struggles in math use manipulatives to help her solve the problems in a 'hands-on" manner. Application is important too not just computation. If reading is a weakness it is still important that you read to her. You can also have her read to you. It is important to build background knowledge before reading as well. Talk about the topic before reading and let her tell you what she knows about the topic already. As she reads stop her and "think aloud"...( I wonder why she did that? I wonder what will happen next? What do you think?). It is also good to have her retell what she read to you. Ask her to tell you about the characters, setting, problem, solution in the story. Then have her tell books that she has read that remind her of this book or experiences she has had that remind her of the story, what characters, did,etc. This will help her make connections to the text and is a critical reading skill.

I hope this helps!! Good luck to you and your dd!!

 

[jenlynn0808]

As barbmouse mentioned you could pay (big bucks-at least here in MI) to have DD tested by an outside source. I only suggested the school because the district will pay for the testing. Plus if an outside source does the testing some district make you jump through hoops to allow it to be used (if at all) to qualify a student for an IEP or a 504. You will need to sign release papers that will allow the school and Dr./ tester to exchange information. There have been cases where the schools have insisted doing their own testing even after students have gone through testing with an independent source. My district rarely accepts anything from Sylvian, they will insist that the student be retested by the district experts. Doctors on the other hand are a totally different story. If it comes from the students family doctor or a psychologist, it is pretty much taken as the gospel.

 

[ldo]

reading comprehension and analytical reasoning/math. 1st start with reading--find out problem areas and see if learning disability, as others have said. You could ask school---but sometimes, they have no clue. you could pay for her to be evaluated by a tutoring program (and at her age, I might do that). Or you could simply have her read some 6th grade level books to herself and tell you what happened and see if she is getting it. Also, get some paperbacks and her her circle problem words as she reads---you can even do a grade level below to make it easier--the key is to make sure that she understands phonics and can try to integrate new words into the context of the setence and guess their meaning.
Next, assuming you don't go the professoinal learning center route, I would get some workbooks and also some grade level reading CD games for the computer and get her going.
For math, go through the basics and see if there are areas that are not clicking--again, I might pay for professional testing (a couple 100). Then I would work on the problem areas and get Math Blasters, etc. for the computer--it's fun for them.

If she does not have any LD, it could be that some things are just not clicking and its SOOOOO important to get it now--think of Legos where the bottom ones aren't clicked in tightly. Good luck and try to make it fun--do rewards systems, etc.

 

[adamalexa]

A few months into first grade my son was struggling with homework and often ended up in tears. Luckily we have a very experienced Child Advocate in the family. She recommended I have him tested, and he did show a developmental delay. He has had some services through the school and is doing well. It was remarkable, once he started receiving services, to see the change in his self-esteem. The CA says that low self esteem is the hardest thing to fix, and the earlier problems are identified, the better the child fares.

If you're unsure about navigating the school system, a CA can provide some professional guidance on what testing/services your child is entitled to.

It is heartbreaking to see your child struggle. Good luck to you and your daughter.

 

[LSUmom4kids]

Our son (also in 6th grade) was struggling in Science since October. Someone told me about a department in our public school system where some high school students who want to be teachers go. We found a great
11th grader who needed service hours = FREE TUTORING!

She lives close and we bring DS to her house for 1 hr./wk. and some times when she needs to tutor at a different time, she's even picked up DS and will bring him home afterwards. (Don't worry we trust her - she's a A+ student and my husband has played golf with her dad.)

Bottom line - DS has brought his Science grade up from a D to a B!! And it didn't cost a thing!

 

[BlueBayou]

I think having her tested is key.

I am one of six female adult cousins. Two are labeled ‘gifted.’ Three were average in school and one probably writes at a 9th grade level.

One of average cousins struggled with Cs her last couple of years of high school. Her father, who was a schoolteacher, did not pick up on the possibility of a learning disability or similar issue. The family thought she was just not applying herself. Her older sister was a star, popular pupil and almost anybody would pale in comparison to her. The younger sister was probably equally as bright as her older sister and was able to accommodate and mask her learning issues.

It wasn’t until she attempted some community college classes in her late 20s that it was suggested that she be tested. Sure enough she has some sort of processing problem. It is so sad to me she struggled for so many years without knowing what the problem was. She is the poster child for low self-esteem.

I assume that the one that struggles to read and write has a similar issue. If you talk with her you know she is very intelligent. We were not raised around each other so I had no idea that she had any learning issues. But after my mom mentioned something to me, I noticed the emails that I get from her use very simple sentences. The grammar is correct – but very short and to the point.

Interestingly, the two cousins that have the learning issues are the ones that have asthma and bad allergies. Probably not related – I just find it odd.

I would just encourage you to have testing done as soon as possible so you know if you child is facing learning or processing issues.

 

[grlpwrd]

Yes, definitely have her tested and/or evaluated. Then you can know what steps you need to take in order to help her. Sure, homeschooling is great and so is tutoring, but getting to the root of the problem is essential.

GL!

 

[J&Bsmom]

Hi! I just thought I'd add my two cents. I think everyone has made terrific suggestions. I'm wondering whether this is the first year she's had trouble, or has it been kind of "borderline" in the past? If this is the first year, I would maybe talk to previous teachers about what strategies they used that seemed to help her, especially the 5th grade teacher, since she/he was most recent.

Also, if you suspect a learning disability, I would suggest, in addition to that testing, to look into an occupational therapy evaluation. (Sometimes the learning disability testing will end up making a recommendation for this, but sometimes it kind of "misses" it). I'm saying this because sensory processing (also called sensory integration) disorder is a fairly common issue that could be overlooked. A good website to check for info. is www.spdnetwork.org .

Good luck!