Daycare frustration

[mistysue]

I have a daughter going into kindergarten and an infant son. I've been excited to not have to pay full child care for my daughter, but our schools are still keeping kindergarten at half days for this school year so I have to pay for the half day care.
Now there are only two places in town I can find to watch my son, one of which I know is a bad place.

Basically, it is just irritating me that in order to have my daughter take the bus (which buys me a free extra two hours of her being cared for) I have to take a half hour to drop off my son, then pick him up after her bus and I can only get in a 6 hour day but it will take 9.5 hours of my day... then at the end of the week I only take home $1.50/hour. Working a longer day will actually cost me money by the time I pay for extended time for my daughter's care.

This is just crappy and annoying, but it just really started bugging me because a girl I work with who is single but lives with the father qualifies for 75% daycare assistance, at the end of the week she will be taking home twice what I do, and she gets her two small kids cared for, but I have had and will have to pay full price for both my children for all these years. Their ages are even off enough I never get a multiple child discount. Just to top it off, her boyfriend makes close to what my DH makes, so our income levels are almost the same it just would cost me over four times as much to get the same hours of care she will get.

I'm happy for her, but it just makes me so mad that the system helps people so unevenly. I actually raised my daughter alone without any help or child support and accumulated a huge debt for what other people are just being given.

Obviously I'm still looking for less expensive care. Most of our in-home daycare people closed and we only have two centers within a reasonable distance. I know I decided to have kids, I just needed to complain for a minute.

 

[blondietink]

5 years ago I was faced with a similar problem. I was paying almost as much in child care as I was making from my job. I decided to quit working as I ended up saving money when I figured in the cost of gas to get to work, work clothes, lunch money. etc. So, I became a stay at home mom for 6 months. I then was able to find a part-time job that fit with my kids school schedule so I had no child care expenses because my job was during school hours only. I wish you luck on whatever you decide to do.

 

[andymattmom]

Since therer are probably other parents in a similar situation have you though about opening an at home day care so you wouldn't have the cost. I don't know what type of license it requires in your area, etc. What about taking in 2 kids (would be nice if they were older and you just did before/after school child care and didn't have during the day). You could be home with your son, daughter could take bus, then you would just have others a couple hours before or after school.

just a thought...sorry things are tough for you. Is there anything at the school where your daughter is for a job...part time. Maybe a parent would watch your son for you a few hours a day. A good way to start in schools is to volunteer...staff will see you as willing and then maybe if an aide or some type of part time position opened you would have an "in"

 

[bgirldeb]

This is just crappy and annoying, but it just really started bugging me because a girl I work with who is single but lives with the father qualifies for 75% daycare assistance, at the end of the week she will be taking home twice what I do, and she gets her two small kids cared for, but I have had and will have to pay full price for both my children for all these years. Their ages are even off enough I never get a multiple child discount. Just to top it off, her boyfriend makes close to what my DH makes, so our income levels are almost the same it just would cost me over four times as much to get the same hours of care she will get.

I hear ya! That sort of thing drives me crazy! It's like you do what you're supposed to do in life and get penalized

 

[Darcy03231]

When DS was in kindergarden I found that it was actually cost the same to send him to a full day private kindergarden as it was to send him for daycare for half a day. I was definitely easier to drop him off in the morning and pick up up at night, rather than do all the back and forth. You might want to check into it.

 

[mchames]

Have you thought about hiring a sitter/nanny to care for your infant and be available to pick up your DD from half-day, enabling you to put in a longer day at work? I don't know what the cost difference would be between doing that and having to deal with two different daycare situations. It may be worth looking into. It would also give you some flexibility.

 

[kidzmom3]

can you pay a fee for full day kindergarten and then put her in the after school program? We have that here at our schools?

I don't know if this helps or not, its not meant to be mean. I was very unhappy when I focused on what other people had, received, were entitled to. Or focused on what I did not have, needed or wanted. Then I made a conscious decision to focus on only what I did already have. It has made life a lot better. Like I always tell my kids. Life is neither fair or unfair, it just is. And nothing in this world is truly equal.

 

[HM]

I would also suggest looking into a caregiver who will come to your house. You will be able to have your son cared for all day, and then when your oldest gets home, she'll have a place to go (if she rides the bus, you don't even have to do any driving). You could also add another family to this if you need help with covering the cost.

We found it was much simpler to have a "nanny" for our two kids when they were in that transition period between school and daycare.

 

[ozarkmom]

I have a daughter going into kindergarten and an infant son. I've been excited to not have to pay full child care for my daughter, but our schools are still keeping kindergarten at half days for this school year so I have to pay for the half day care.
Now there are only two places in town I can find to watch my son, one of which I know is a bad place.

Basically, it is just irritating me that in order to have my daughter take the bus (which buys me a free extra two hours of her being cared for) I have to take a half hour to drop off my son, then pick him up after her bus and I can only get in a 6 hour day but it will take 9.5 hours of my day... then at the end of the week I only take home $1.50/hour. Working a longer day will actually cost me money by the time I pay for extended time for my daughter's care.

This is just crappy and annoying, but it just really started bugging me because a girl I work with who is single but lives with the father qualifies for 75% daycare assistance, at the end of the week she will be taking home twice what I do, and she gets her two small kids cared for, but I have had and will have to pay full price for both my children for all these years. Their ages are even off enough I never get a multiple child discount. Just to top it off, her boyfriend makes close to what my DH makes, so our income levels are almost the same it just would cost me over four times as much to get the same hours of care she will get.

I'm happy for her, but it just makes me so mad that the system helps people so unevenly. I actually raised my daughter alone without any help or child support and accumulated a huge debt for what other people are just being given.

Obviously I'm still looking for less expensive care. Most of our in-home daycare people closed and we only have two centers within a reasonable distance. I know I decided to have kids, I just needed to complain for a minute.

No advice but this type of thing bugs me too. It's not fair.

 

[mrsklamc]

If you have a DH that is working, you might check what the difference would be in the tax on his salary if you quit working. If before taxes you are making 1.50 an hour, all told you may actually be paying to work. Which sucks.

Also, if your coworker isn't reporting her BF's income as part of their household she may be committing welfare fraud.

 

[ccgirl]

I ended up enrolling my DD in a private kindergarten. It is $3300 for the year. I know that sounds like a lot for kindergarten but I paid almost $10,000 for daycare so this is just a drop in the bucket. I also now have a nanny that comes to my house. I agreed to let her watch two other children at my house for a reduced fee. I pay $250 a week for daycare for my DS1. I know how frustrating it is. Depending on what you do, it may be difficult to get back into the job market. If it is a career you can just re-enter at any time you may want to consider being a SAHM for a while or a part time job while your husband is home. Just a thought. Good luck.

 

[brios86]

If your coworker is living with the father of her children, married or not, his income should be counted towards the subsidized income. Its rare that a household with both parents working full time qualify for subsidized daycare. Sounds like Family Services is unaware that the father is in the home... And all this is coming from an eligibility worker. (but of course regulations vary state to state)

 

[bumbershoot]

If you have a DH that is working, you might check what the difference would be in the tax on his salary if you quit working. If before taxes you are making 1.50 an hour, all told you may actually be paying to work.

Definitely. I can't believe how little tax we pay with just the one income... You really might find out interesting things, if you sat down and really crunched the numbers of the possible cost of you working. You already know it comes down to 1.50 per hour...but you might be spending more than that (times 6, I believe you said, is the hours you work) just TO work.

 

[EthansMom]

If you have a DH that is working, you might check what the difference would be in the tax on his salary if you quit working. If before taxes you are making 1.50 an hour, all told you may actually be paying to work. Which sucks.

I definitely agree with this. My DH works, and while he isn't making a bazillion dollar salary, he does okay. Because of the way federal taxes are done, any income I would make would be taxed at our highest rate (I think that's 25% for us). Add together Social Security tax, Medicare tax, CT state income tax, and federal taxes, and each dollar I make would be taxed at 42%+. Yes, nearly half of my income would be taxed right off the bat.

Then, we'd also have to have childcare, gas, work clothing, convenience (eating out more, etc...) and it really doesn't make much financial sense for me to work outside the home.

 

[daughtersrus]

I would also suggest looking into a caregiver who will come to your house. You will be able to have your son cared for all day, and then when your oldest gets home, she'll have a place to go (if she rides the bus, you don't even have to do any driving). You could also add another family to this if you need help with covering the cost.

We found it was much simpler to have a "nanny" for our two kids when they were in that transition period between school and daycare.

Be aware that if you paid someone more than $1,400 in one year to care for your children in your own home, you are probably responsible to pay the "nanny tax". However, if you pay someone to care for your children in the provider's home, they are responsible to pay self-employment taxes and you most likely will get a childcare credit on your taxes. (depending on which bracket you fall in)

 

[powellrj]

Vent away. We are having the same issue with my DS and college. He did well in school and graduated with an honors diploma and the only financial aid he got was loans. Family member who is 2 years older, barely graduated, has 2 children by 2 different fathers and is now living with another man who pays her bills was able to quit her job and go back to school, fully funded by the government. Because her schooling was free, she was able to take out student loans as her fun money.

He is out looking today for a second job, while she out with friends.

 

[mistysue]

That whole college thing bothers me even more than my daycare one. When I got pregnant with my daughter I immediately left school to save up and be able to take care of her- Only later to be told that because I had stopped going to school for a year and actually made enough money to take care of us- that I made too much to get any help or even a loan worth taking.

I wasn't the best high school student (not bad either, had a 3.4 from a college prep school) but I really think people who did better should qualify for more. It is like as a society we say "you work hard, so we will make you keep doing that and help somebody who didn't." I felt so bad for the students who out performed me and were left with no options while anybody who was labeled as in need got a helping hand even if they were lazy.

Vent away. We are having the same issue with my DS and college. He did well in school and graduated with an honors diploma and the only financial aid he got was loans. Family member who is 2 years older, barely graduated, has 2 children by 2 different fathers and is now living with another man who pays her bills was able to quit her job and go back to school, fully funded by the government. Because her schooling was free, she was able to take out student loans as her fun money.

He is out looking today for a second job, while she out with friends.

As for my daycare thing, Watching other kids would drive me crazy and nannies here cost more than any of the arrangements I've found. The $1.50/hour amount was what I end up with taxes and the expenses of working. At least after this year DD will be in first grade, and I can get that extra money back.

 

[KandD]

When I was in elementary school I became friends with a new girl in school, her mom ended up calling my mom to see if we could watch her before and after school while her mom worked (my dad worked at night so he was home during the day). I don't know how much she paid my mom but because we were in the same class we had the same homework and we were the best of friends so it worked out well. Even when she transferred to another school she continued to come to our house and get her bus on our route.


Maybe you could find a fellow kindergarten parent to watch your daughter? I know it is tough because you don't know anyone yet but maybe at orientation or something you can find out who stays home? I know it is a long shot but your situation really stinks and I am sorry you are in such a pickle. In these rough times everyone is looking for some extra money so maybe there are some families looking to bring in some extra income while one of the parents stays home in your daughter's class. Good luck.

 

[FayeW]

You know what, if you are clearing $1.50 per hour, and you are working 6 hours a day, you are only bringing home $45. in net income per week. You could probably work part time a couple of nights a week and be in the same place financially, without the worry and stress of finding good childcare and shuttling your kids around.

Even taking ONE of your daughter's classmates for before or after school care would give you at least that much, and maybe more.

Maybe it's time you look at some other alternatives, at least until your daughter goes to full days next year.

 

[chellewashere]

Daycare just really ticks me off here. A girl I know at work has her kids in full time daycare paying 25 a week lives at home with her mom, has her boyfriend there and gets child support. Then my work laid her off and she decided to stay home for 3 months while her kids still went to daycare for free full time. 2/3 of my check goes to paying for my daycare for one child. Gotta love the system!!
Good luck I say if you have medical from you husbands job then I would quit your job and stay home. Maybe do like other posters say and you can do before / after care for other kids in the neighborhood and make some extra money.