Daughter's interests & career options

[happygirl]

How about letting her just be a kid.

If you take a room full of adults and ask what they wanted to be when they were 18 and what they are doing now, over 90% will not be doing what they wanted to do at 18.

Let her enjoy being a kid.

 

[golfgal]

I have to agree with others, this isn't a decision she needs to make now, even if she has to pick a "major" in high school. She will still have to take all of the required classes in high school just like she will in college and will probably change her mind 100 times between now and when she graduates from COLLEGE. I would be spending more time talking about not putting some much pressure on yourself to make these ADULT decisions when you are 12/13 years old.

 

[Saphire]

If your DD does well in math and is interested in engineering, it's a great career.

I agree, and there is a shortage of female engineers right now. If she loves math, I would steer her in that direction, she can always have a tutor.

I disagree that it is too soon to start thinking about this. Of course things can change and a plan can be altered, but there is nothing wrong with beginning to think about interests and strengths and how they can fit into a good career. You can still be a kid, and have a plan!

 

[golfgal]

I agree, and there is a shortage of female engineers right now. If she loves math, I would steer her in that direction, she can always have a tutor.

I disagree that it is too soon to start thinking about this. Of course things can change and a plan can be altered, but there is nothing wrong with beginning to think about interests and strengths and how they can fit into a good career. You can still be a kid, and have a plan!

It is not too soon to think about going to college but it IS too soon to worry about what your college major will be. If she is college bound the she needs to take the college prep courses in high school and through those she will find areas that are of more interest to her then others and when he high school schedule allows, she can add electives in those areas. She will still have to take math, social studies, English, science and a foreign language no matter if she is going to go to college or not OR if she is going to be an engineer or art teacher.

 

[Barbossa]

I disagree that it is too soon to start thinking about this. Of course things can change and a plan can be altered, but there is nothing wrong with beginning to think about interests and strengths and how they can fit into a good career. You can still be a kid, and have a plan!

I agree. It pays to at least have a good idea of what you want to major in. It allows you to get on the correct college tract early, which increases the likelihood of graduating in 4-5 years. A person's 20's are a fun time, personally I'm glad I didn't spend most of it in school.

 

[Barbossa]

It is not too soon to think about going to college but it IS too soon to worry about what your college major will be. If she is college bound the she needs to take the college prep courses in high school and through those she will find areas that are of more interest to her then others and when he high school schedule allows, she can add electives in those areas. She will still have to take math, social studies, English, science and a foreign language no matter if she is going to go to college or not OR if she is going to be an engineer or art teacher.

I agree that a good mix of high school courses will apply to most any major. However, some universities are better than others for some majors, so there's an advantage to having a good idea of what you want to study before you choose a college.

 

[golfgal]

I agree that a good mix of high school courses will apply to most any major. However, some universities are better than others for some majors, so there's an advantage to having a good idea of what you want to study before you choose a college.

Ok, say you want to go into engineering so you pick college A because they are the best engineering school around. You spend your first semester there and HATE it and decide to become a high school math teacher, but they don't have a good education program so you switch to college B, find out you hate that and switch to college C for some other program . I TOTALLY disagree about picking a college for a specific major since the chance of a student actually graduating with the major they start with in college is almost zero. You pick a college with a good reputation in many areas and one where you will fit in.

You DO NOT need to worry about this in 8th grade though.

 

[MizTink]

How about letting her just be a kid.

If you take a room full of adults and ask what they wanted to be when they were 18 and what they are doing now, over 90% will not be doing what they wanted to do at 18.

Let her enjoy being a kid.

well, she's definitely enjoying being a kid. at least i hope so!!

I have to agree with others, this isn't a decision she needs to make now, even if she has to pick a "major" in high school. She will still have to take all of the required classes in high school just like she will in college and will probably change her mind 100 times between now and when she graduates from COLLEGE. I would be spending more time talking about not putting some much pressure on yourself to make these ADULT decisions when you are 12/13 years old.

i put NO pressure on her at all. none. never have. even with the standardized tests all the kids have to take. i always have to "undo" the pressure the schools put on the kids. I HATE IT!! and my kids know how i feel.
but again, this doesn't mean that i ignore her when she asks me questions about certain interests.
she's 14 years old and will be finished with high school in 4 years. i think it is natural for her to be noticing what kinds of things interest her, and what she may chose to do only 4 years from now.
certainly nothing is set in stone. she is just beginning to figure out who she is and what her interests are.

 

[luvmyfam444]

She's too young to know - heck she probably doesn't even know what HALF the jobs are that are even available out there. There's no reason for her to have to make this decision, unless she's going off to some speciality school to be trained. I don't even know what I want to do when I grow up & I'm almost 40! HA!

And just remember there are numerous jobs that aren't even invented yet -something should could fall in love with.

Let's see in my fam - I have 2 bros & 1 dad that have engineering degrees -
1 MBA, 1bro with some other masters realted to engineering (I forgot which kind). ANYWAY none of the 3 of them work in engineering. All 3 of them work in computers. 2 repair, network & 1 writes software.

So many people change their minds once in college & take some courses - 1 bro of mine wanted to be a dr til he volunteered with the paramedics in college & saw his 1st trauma & that was the end of that.

In my case I did always know what I wanted - not that my parents agreed - but I have always wanted to be a mom. Never have changed my mind (well except when I was dealing with a sick kid or trantrum - LOL)

 

[luvmyfam444]

You realy would think that, but there are some school districts that feel the younger a decision is made the better. We are dealing with this right now.

DS is an 8th grader. Last year, they had to meet with the GC from the high school to go over their 6 year plan. They talked about what their interest were and what they saw themselves doing. We got ZERO INFORMATION from the school that this was going to happen. Fast forward to Jan of this year and they are filling out their class options for next year and he brings home paperwork from that meeting last year, that will help in termining what classes to take. Things are not what they use to be. The kids need to determine if they are just going to go for the general diploma, know as the Core40, or the Core40+, or the High Honors Core40, or the Technical Core40. It's confusing as all get out, determining which one your child is going to be taking classes for. Each one has different elective requirements.

Also, starting next school year, each one of the high schools is going to base the way they teach the advance class applications based on what they are going to focus on. One school is going to base the applications as they would be used in jobs deemed Computer Tech. Another, will be based on Engineering, one on Business, one is Medical, one is International, and the last one Baclorate.

If your kid goes to the school that is going to focus on the application of Medical and they have zero interest in that field, but loves Engineering, you have to apply for your student to be transfered over to the other high school. And if there isn't an opening at the Engineering school, they have to stay put at the school your address feeds into. Now, if they do get a spot, you then have to figure out how to get them to the school, as no transportation will be provided.

Our address feeds into the Engineering school. DS has ZERO clue what he wants to do - which as an 8th grade I don't think he should have a clue, unless there is a definate passion about a profession. But he has stated that really likes his computer class that he takes and he is always messing around with ours. The problem is, the Computer Tech school is all the way on the other side of town - at minimum a 30 hour drive one way. The only way he will be going to that high school, is if I let him live with his 85 and 84 year old grandparents, whose address feeds into that school and he could ride the bus. I don't think so.

If your kid has no clue, yes they will get a decent education, but if there are subjects that they would like to take as electives, the focus of the school will determine if you have that option at your school.

I have yet to talk to any parent of an 8th grader that is happy with the direction our schools are going. And straight from an employee at the administrative office, the only reason they are making these changes is to get federal funding. Not because anyone believes that will be a better educational option for our kids, but it's all about the money. And most of the 7th or 6th grade parents - if they don't have a high schooler or 8th grader, they had no clue what the school district was doing. The administration has not be overly generous with keeping the families of the district informed.

It would be so nice to just let him be a high school kid, without having to make decision that a lot of college aged kids haven't even figured out yet.

OH MY! Aren't they just brilliant people in administration there? And what about the poor kids? Where will the future teachers go? Don't they understand that MOST parents can't drive their kids 30 miles across town - therefor they'll leave them in the same school & then the kids will FAIL NOw how good can a failing school be for their funding? Of course theere will be plenty that will excel - but you've gotta worry about those others that'll bring 'em down. Sounds like they have a good idea - IF they just added some of these things to the school - extra courses instead of changing the school completely into only engineering. Adding extra engineering classes - only available there would be okay

 

[Barbossa]

Ok, say you want to go into engineering so you pick college A because they are the best engineering school around. You spend your first semester there and HATE it and decide to become a high school math teacher, but they don't have a good education program so you switch to college B, find out you hate that and switch to college C for some other program . I TOTALLY disagree about picking a college for a specific major since the chance of a student actually graduating with the major they start with in college is almost zero. You pick a college with a good reputation in many areas and one where you will fit in.

You DO NOT need to worry about this in 8th grade though.

If you have a good idea what your interests are and what you'd like to do as an adult, you absolutely should look for a school that best suits these interests. Of course, if you have a list of more than one possible major, you should choose a school that best suits all of them. To not think about what interests and talents you have and what you'd like to major in is a mistake (and I'm talking about HS aged kids, not middle school). The statement that puts a nearly zero chance of a student graduating with his/her original major is false.

 

[minkydog]

How about letting her just be a kid.

If you take a room full of adults and ask what they wanted to be when they were 18 and what they are doing now, over 90% will not be doing what they wanted to do at 18.

Let her enjoy being a kid.

I totally agree with this. I didn't even decide on college until the summer after I graduated. And I changed my major 3 times. So I don't think it's unusual at all for an 18 year old, or even a 20-21 year old to not know what they want to do. Heck, that's why so many of us change careers at mid-life. In our 40s, we finally get it!

 

[Magic Mom]

minkydog Quote:
Originally Posted by declansdad
How about letting her just be a kid.

If you take a room full of adults and ask what they wanted to be when they were 18 and what they are doing now, over 90% will not be doing what they wanted to do at 18.

Let her enjoy being a kid.

I totally agree with this. I didn't even decide on college until the summer after I graduated. And I changed my major 3 times. So I don't think it's unusual at all for an 18 year old, or even a 20-21 year old to not know what they want to do. Heck, that's why so many of us change careers at mid-life. In our 40s, we finally get it!

But if she does have an interest, what's the harm in helping her research it. Did I miss where the OP told us she was going to force her child into a decision tomorrow?

 

[mickeymedic]

I knew exactly what I wanted to do from the time I was 4 years old. I wanted to be a music teacher. So, in high school, I took the lower level sciences (just for fun) and focused on english, math (because it was fun) and music classes. I switched my major Sophomore year of college to Elementary Education...then I found my true calling as an EMT, and now I'm a Paramedic. I can't imagine doing anything else...I love my job. But, had you told me in high school that I was going to be a Paramedic, I would have called you crazy. I had zero interest in blood, guts and gore. And music was my life.

I guess the moral of my story is, it doesn't really matter what you think you might want to be when you grow up. It doesn't really matter what classes you take. You might not figure out what you really want to be until it hits you in the face.

 

[minkydog]

I knew exactly what I wanted to do from the time I was 4 years old. I wanted to be a music teacher. So, in high school, I took the lower level sciences (just for fun) and focused on english, math (because it was fun) and music classes. I switched my major Sophomore year of college to Elementary Education...then I found my true calling as an EMT, and now I'm a Paramedic. I can't imagine doing anything else...I love my job. But, had you told me in high school that I was going to be a Paramedic, I would have called you crazy. I had zero interest in blood, guts and gore. And music was my life.

I guess the moral of my story is, it doesn't really matter what you think you might want to be when you grow up. It doesn't really matter what classes you take. You might not figure out what you really want to be until it hits you in the face.

I could have written this post. I always thought that music would be my career, but I found out in college that I wasn't "all that". You have to be the best of the best to make it in that field and I didn't have the drive to make it happen. So I switched to nursing. I figured I'd always be able to support myself. To say my parents were shocked would be an understatement. I was never one of those little girls who grow up taking care of animals or playing with doctor kits. My dad just flat out told me I'd never be anything or have anything. My mother just stood there like She said she always thought I'd marry a music minister.

Well, I've been a nurse for 32+ years.I have been more or less continually employed during that time. Lucky for me, I fell in love with nursing. And I finally got over my fear of blood and vomit. and I married a music major who ended up getting a business degree and became an executive with a major credit bureau.

 

[mickeymedic]

I could have written this post. I always thought that music would be my career, but I found out in college that I wasn't "all that". You have to be the best of the best to make it in that field and I didn't have the drive to make it happen. So I switched to nursing. I figured I'd always be able to support myself. To say my parents were shocked would be an understatement. I was never one of those little girls who grow up taking care of animals or playing with doctor kits. My dad just flat out told me I'd never be anything or have anything. My mother just stood there like She said she always thought I'd marry a music minister.

Well, I've been a nurse for 32+ years.I have been more or less continually employed during that time. Lucky for me, I fell in love with nursing. And I finally got over my fear of blood and vomit. and I married a music major who ended up getting a business degree and became an executive with a major credit bureau.

My parents thought that EMT/Paramedic thing was just a phase and I would "get over it." I think it took almost 10 years for them to accept that EMS was an actual profession. They kept bugging me to get a "real" job - go back to school to be a nurse or a doctor. I have all the respect in the world for nurses and doctors, but I don't want to be one. I love what I do! And ironically, very few of my friends who completed their teaching degrees were able to find full time teaching jobs within the first few years after graduation. But I was working full time in EMS during my last couple years of college. So much for teaching being the "safe" career choice.

 

[MrsPete]

I think it's important for kids to be well rounded. Too many times people change their minds after being in high school or college for a while and thinking "this isn't what I thought it would be"

Yep, sampling many things is important in high school, and high schoolers aren't always ready to choose wisely. I can give a couple examples:

Some time back my sister in law, who is a wonderful cook and loves everything food-related, yet works in an entirely different field, said, "Why didn't anyone tell me that being a chef was a good, professional job?" It's easy to say, "Oh, she should've figured it out, she should've known that" -- but she was talking about back in high school. Why didn't adults, the people who should've been guiding her, point out that there were options other than traditional college or going to work? She's very successful in her job, but she doesn't like it.

I have a student who -- as a high school senior -- set out to do a little video project and discovered, quite to his surprise, that he has immense talent, interest, and ability with video editing. He didn't see that coming at all. Now he's questioning whether he should re-think his college major. How fortunate for him that he is still in high school and has that option.

Yet at the same time, we need to teach kids to be realistic about their choices. I'm thinking of a student of mine (a student whom I knew well and still chat with occasionally) who chose to go to an expensive out-of-state college -- and who borrowed almost all the money. I talked to her frankly about it then, and I showed her how much an elementary school teacher could expect to earn. Frankly, I tried to convince her that she was setting herself up for disaster in her future financial life . . . but she wanted THAT SCHOOL soooo badly. She did love her time there, and I don't mean to downplay the value of education . . . but now she's a graduate and she's teaching, working a second job, looking for a summer job, and living at home with her parents -- all so she can make her student loan payments. This is her reality for the foreseeable future. She didn't make realistic choices.

A 13 year old eighth grader may not even want to think about going to college, so may say that they'll go the vocational route. What happens when they're a senior and change their mind - they may be missing out on core classes needed for college entrance.

In my experience, it's more typical for a student to think he's going to college . . . even though he's not doing well in high school, doesn't read, doesn't really like school. There's frequently a disconnect there in the thinking. Students think somehow college will be different. Less academic? Personally, I think we just need to guide students better, give them more realistic options, make trade schools and vocational pathways look more attractive. I have probably a dozen students (seniors) with a GPA hovering just above/below 2.0 who think they're going to a good state university (even though they haven't yet applied). These students would have been so much better off to have started Auto Mechanics, Bricklaying, or Electrical Trades as sophomores. They'd be graduating now with real job skills, and people'd be lining up to give them entry-level jobs. My own daughter's doing the Health Occupations classes and will have a CNA license before she has a high school diploma; that'll be an excellent stepping stone into a nursing program at the university.

How about letting her just be a kid.

If you take a room full of adults and ask what they wanted to be when they were 18 and what they are doing now, over 90% will not be doing what they wanted to do at 18.

Let her enjoy being a kid.

I'd be in the 10%.

The thing is, if you just let her "be a kid" and don't think much about what she wants to do, the opportunity to take high school classes that'll give her a good start in life -- well, the opportunities are gone. It's better to encourage her to think about what she wants to do, encourage her to become well-rounded . . . yet also emphasize that it's changeable.

 

[declansdad]

Yep, sampling many things is important in high school, and high schoolers aren't always ready to choose wisely. I can give a couple examples:

Some time back my sister in law, who is a wonderful cook and loves everything food-related, yet works in an entirely different field, said, "Why didn't anyone tell me that being a chef was a good, professional job?" It's easy to say, "Oh, she should've figured it out, she should've known that" -- but she was talking about back in high school. Why didn't adults, the people who should've been guiding her, point out that there were options other than traditional college or going to work? She's very successful in her job, but she doesn't like it.

I have a student who -- as a high school senior -- set out to do a little video project and discovered, quite to his surprise, that he has immense talent, interest, and ability with video editing. He didn't see that coming at all. Now he's questioning whether he should re-think his college major. How fortunate for him that he is still in high school and has that option.

Yet at the same time, we need to teach kids to be realistic about their choices. I'm thinking of a student of mine (a student whom I knew well and still chat with occasionally) who chose to go to an expensive out-of-state college -- and who borrowed almost all the money. I talked to her frankly about it then, and I showed her how much an elementary school teacher could expect to earn. Frankly, I tried to convince her that she was setting herself up for disaster in her future financial life . . . but she wanted THAT SCHOOL soooo badly. She did love her time there, and I don't mean to downplay the value of education . . . but now she's a graduate and she's teaching, working a second job, looking for a summer job, and living at home with her parents -- all so she can make her student loan payments. This is her reality for the foreseeable future. She didn't make realistic choices.In my experience, it's more typical for a student to think he's going to college . . . even though he's not doing well in high school, doesn't read, doesn't really like school. There's frequently a disconnect there in the thinking. Students think somehow college will be different. Less academic? Personally, I think we just need to guide students better, give them more realistic options, make trade schools and vocational pathways look more attractive. I have probably a dozen students (seniors) with a GPA hovering just above/below 2.0 who think they're going to a good state university (even though they haven't yet applied). These students would have been so much better off to have started Auto Mechanics, Bricklaying, or Electrical Trades as sophomores. They'd be graduating now with real job skills, and people'd be lining up to give them entry-level jobs. My own daughter's doing the Health Occupations classes and will have a CNA license before she has a high school diploma; that'll be an excellent stepping stone into a nursing program at the university.
I'd be in the 10%.

The thing is, if you just let her "be a kid" and don't think much about what she wants to do, the opportunity to take high school classes that'll give her a good start in life -- well, the opportunities are gone. It's better to encourage her to think about what she wants to do, encourage her to become well-rounded . . . yet also emphasize that it's changeable.

There is a difference between being well-rounded and focusing on a career choice in high school.

 

[MrsPete]

Ok, say you want to go into engineering so you pick college A because they are the best engineering school around. You spend your first semester there and HATE it and decide to become a high school math teacher, but they don't have a good education program so you switch to college B, find out you hate that and switch to college C for some other program . I TOTALLY disagree about picking a college for a specific major since the chance of a student actually graduating with the major they start with in college is almost zero. You pick a college with a good reputation in many areas and one where you will fit in.

You DO NOT need to worry about this in 8th grade though.

I knew exactly what I wanted to do when I graduated from high school . . . but when people told me negative things about teaching, I listened to them and -- being young and thinking that perfect jobs existed -- I waivered and began college with a different major. Fortunately, I had the good sense to choose a large university with multiple strong points, so I was able to change majors without changing schools.

I don't think this would be possible for every student though. Few universities offer EVERYTHING, and not all students are cut out for a large school. I know that my oldest daughter will choose a big school -- she wants the opportunities that come with size -- but my youngest will probably fit in better in a small-to-medium university, and I wouldn't want to force her into a school that wouldn't suit her needs. Hopefully this won't be a problem, but I wouldn't force her into a large school JUST IN CASE she needs to change majors. That -- for her -- would be a recipe for failure.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

But if she does have an interest, what's the harm in helping her research it. Did I miss where the OP told us she was going to force her child into a decision tomorrow?

I know what you mean. Tell my 13yodd that she should not worry about her classes and just be a kid. She would laugh at you.

Some kids are focused and there is nothing you can do to change that. She loves academics and desires to be with kids like herself.

She is hoping to take a college class this summer in a scholar program and stay in a dorm for 3 weeks. We are still waiting on the acceptance.

And Mrs. Pete you are on target and my dd is a great example. She has an immense talent for writing and public speaking but she wants to do business.

So in her words...."I will still work on my talent and use it to get to where I want to go". Yes, she is a handful.