Dating Red Flags?

[Lord Manhammer]

This American Life posted something to Facebook today, which made me think. Here is what they said: "People in the dating scene: When you’re on the apps or meeting people out in the wild, do you have a go-to question you ask prospective dates that brings red flags to the surface? A question that seems harmless, but the answer tells you what you need to know about your potential compatibility with a mate?"

There were tons of questions that people asked but I don't think anyone asked mine: do you believe in god? When I was dating I asked this very regularly as I am a fervent atheist and had no desire to date a religious person (of any faith) as religious incompatibility was a contributing factor to my first divorce.

For those of you who are single (or were), do/did you have any go to questions that would help you select a potential suitor? What were they? Did you ever break your rule because you just wanted a date with someone?

 

[#1hoosierfan]

Many years ago, I was talking to a potential date and he said he didn’t believe in animals living in the house. They are not part of the family.

Hard pass for me.

Lots of other things would keep me from dating someone , but that one immediately came to mind.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Many years ago, I was talking to a potential date and he said he didn’t believe in animals living in the house. They are not part of the family.

Hard pass for me.

Lots of other things would keep me from dating someone , but that one immediately came to mind.

That's a great one! But I assume he was referring to domesticated animals, yes? and not cows or horses?

My wife did admit to me on the second date that she "wasn't a dog person." 14 years later? we have 2 dogs who are her daughters and to whom she reads books regularly (she's currently reading them Britney Spears' memoir).

 

[#1hoosierfan]

That's a great one! But I assume he was referring to domesticated animals, yes? and not cows or horses?

Yes, I’m a huge animal lover, but no cows and horses in the house for me.

 

[Magical2017]

I would never have asked this years ago, but now I would want to know a little about their political beliefs. I am fine with differences of opinion and even voting for a different party. I'd welcome discussions about the topic if someone is level-headed. If they are hardcore one way or the other and believe deeply in certain conspiracy theories, I'd probably think twice.

 

[BrianL]

A pretty good red flag is when I ask if they will go out with me. If they say yes, that's pretty suspect right there.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Note. Kale isn't a red flag. It's an automatic deal crusher.

If she orders scotch and wawa, and giggles, she might be underaged.

If he treats the wait staff badly, that's how he's going to treat you after he no longer needs to put his best foot forward.

If he ever uses the words bling bling it's time to dump dump.

If she raves about truffle oil, it's probably time to reconsider.

If he serves cake in a cup..... You're the one that's gonna have to wash those cups.

 

[Smugpugmug]

I'm currently single and have dabbled a bit in online dating, but haven't really focused on it. Biggest deal breakers for me are whether they smoke or not (cigarettes or marijuana), religion and whether they have kids or not (or if they plan to/want to have kids). I'm not religious and I don't want kids, so those things are non negotiable for me.

I would also want to know if they're a dog lover since I LOVE dogs and plan to have a few in the future.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

If she orders scotch and wawa, don't mess with her. She's jail bait.

If he treats the wait staff badly, that's how he's going to treat you after he no longer needs to put his best foot forward.

If he ever uses the words bling bling it's time to dump dump.

Definitely on the waitstaff issue. You can learn so much from someone on how they treat a server.

And because I couldn't resist...

 

[Lord Manhammer]

are whether they smoke or not (cigarettes or marijuana),

So are you saying you prefer or avoid those who smoke some sort of substance? (Not judging but was curious)

I have dated both smokers and nonsmokers so that wasn't an issue, however, I will say that being a smoker is a fantastic way to meet people as you are essentially stuck in an area for at least 5 minutes and can just make conversations. Met so many friends and lovers that way (including my wife).

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Definitely on the waitstaff issue. You can learn so much from someone on how they treat a server.

And because I couldn't resist...
View attachment 824793

Now if she likes fireworks, she's a keeper.

 

[Smugpugmug]

So are you saying you prefer or avoid those who smoke some sort of substance? (Not judging but was curious)

I have dated both smokers and nonsmokers so that wasn't an issue, however, I will say that being a smoker is a fantastic way to meet people as you are essentially stuck in an area for at least 5 minutes and can just make conversations. Met so many friends and lovers that way (including my wife).

Sorry, I should've clarified. I would prefer not to date someone who smokes. Not judging those that do but I really dislike the smell.

 

[FQLover]

Just being honest, but I am a very political person and would not date someone on “the other side of the aisle.” So I would ask that question.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Sorry, I should've clarified. I would prefer not to date someone who smokes. Not judging those that do but I really dislike the smell.

Not an issue, but it makes perfect sense. I can totally understand how folks wouldn't like the smell of smoke or weed.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

DD is online dating now, and it’s interesting how it’s set up. A lot of these questions are already available in profiles re religion, smoking/drinking/drugs, political affiliation, children, etc., so one knows going in some of the answers already (if people are being truthful). She’s found it helpful.

 

[SpaceMan5]

Many years ago, I was talking to a potential date and he said he didn’t believe in animals living in the house. They are not part of the family.

Hard pass for me.

Lots of other things would keep me from dating someone , but that one immediately came to mind.

100% agree. Our dogs have the run of the house with the biggest at 50 lbs. If they want to be cozy on the bed or couch with us, so be it. Other family members have different rules for their dogs and we are all respectful of each other so it works out nicely

Basically, my house my rules

 

[leahgoogle]

I would never have asked this years ago, but now I would want to know a little about their political beliefs. I am fine with differences of opinion and even voting for a different party. I'd welcome discussions about the topic if someone is level-headed. If they are hardcore one way or the other and believe deeply in certain conspiracy theories, I'd probably think twice.

I agree with this. Political beliefs were not even on my radar years ago. Now, I would definitely find out.

 

[leahgoogle]

100% agree. Our dogs have the run of the house with the biggest at 50 lbs. If they want to be cozy on the bed or couch with us, so be it. Other family members have different rules for their dogs and we are all respectful of each other so it works out nicely

Basically, my house my rules

Same here. Our male dog is 55 lbs and our female dog is 30 lbs and they get comfortable where they please.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

100% agree. Our dogs have the run of the house with the biggest at 50 lbs. If they want to be cozy on the bed or couch with us, so be it. Other family members have different rules for their dogs and we are all respectful of each other so it works out nicely

Basically, my house my rules

Our dogs are the same, but our golden retriever is 75 lbs so when she jumps on the bed, tackling both my wife and I in the process, and then proceeds to find a way to cuddle her way between us, it's a THING.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

I LOVE dogs and plan to have a few in the future.

Golden Retrievers are amazing dogs, just throwing that out there.