Dating Advice needed...is it a red flag?

[Mickeyistheman]

Or am I overreacting?

2 weeks ago I went out on a date with a very nice man. He is 35 and I am 31. We met off a dating website. When we emailed or chatted online at first, he did not type well at all and kept saying when he saw me he would explain why. Then he told me that he doesn't drive, not thrilled but I had an idea of why he didn't.

I pick him up, we go to dinner, it was very nice. However as soon as we sat down he said he always wanted to go on a Disney Cruise, maybe if things work out we could do that together. I thought wow, great a little weird but nice. He didn't know how much I loved Disney so I thought it was a good sign.

Then he started to tell me about his life. He is a recovered addict (drugs and alcohol) 9 years. Good for him. That was why he did not have his liscense. He can get it back soon he told me.

He also said that because of the drugs he has trouble writing.

That was a Saturday, we saw each other again Tuesday and then Thursday that same week.

My concern is that I am going to be his driver, he has asked me to take him several places over the course of the next few months. His mother will be dead 6 years this Feb. my birthday is in Feb. as well. He already wants to meet my family ( he knows my stepfather, they used to work together ) taking all of us out for my birthday.

He then asked me to drive him about 2 hours to visit his mother's grave. This is where my issue starts. WE don't know each other well enough and I think its weird. We talk often enough and I am happy about that but I am finding out more things about him and on our last date together we just went out for a quick bite of Pizza and well he took his teeth out in the restaurant.

Then he told me that he can't read or write well because he is Autistic. He wa also married 9 years ago but had it anulled because he was too high and drunk.

I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but maybe its me I am overthinking things and everything will be fine. Should I just see where things go or should I be concerned?

 

[dakcp2001]

How much do you like him? Sounds like too many red flags to me. I would have to REALLY like someone to be their taxi. It is just something I could not deal with at the start of a relationship If he is asking you for all these rides now, when he hardly knows you, it will be far worse down the road. I would proceed with caution....

Trust your instincts, sounds like you already know the right answer.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Walk away...

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

Or am I overreacting?

2 weeks ago I went out on a date with a very nice man. He is 35 and I am 31. We met off a dating website. When we emailed or chatted online at first, he did not type well at all and kept saying when he saw me he would explain why. Then he told me that he doesn't drive, not thrilled but I had an idea of why he didn't.

I pick him up, we go to dinner, it was very nice. However as soon as we sat down he said he always wanted to go on a Disney Cruise, maybe if things work out we could do that together. I thought wow, great a little weird but nice. He didn't know how much I loved Disney so I thought it was a good sign.

Then he started to tell me about his life. He is a recovered addict (drugs and alcohol) 9 years. Good for him. That was why he did not have his liscense. He can get it back soon he told me.

He also said that because of the drugs he has trouble writing.

That was a Saturday, we saw each other again Tuesday and then Thursday that same week.

My concern is that I am going to be his driver, he has asked me to take him several places over the course of the next few months. His mother will be dead 6 years this Feb. my birthday is in Feb. as well. He already wants to meet my family ( he knows my stepfather, they used to work together ) taking all of us out for my birthday.

He then asked me to drive him about 2 hours to visit his mother's grave. This is where my issue starts. WE don't know each other well enough and I think its weird. We talk often enough and I am happy about that but I am finding out more things about him and on our last date together we just went out for a quick bite of Pizza and well he took his teeth out in the restaurant.

Then he told me that he can't read or write well because he is Autistic. He wa also married 9 years ago but had it anulled because he was too high and drunk.

I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but maybe its me I am overthinking things and everything will be fine. Should I just see where things go or should I be concerned?

Run, don't walk the other way FAST. You don't need any entanglements with a man who has this many strikes against him. You barely know him and he is making major demands on you. It will only get worse!

 

[XTinabell]

Sounds like several dates from hell if you ask me. I think you need to trust your instincts, if you're already having second thoughts and you've just begun dating then my opinion is to keep looking, doesn't sound like the guy for you. I really don't think it's too much to ask to find a guy that can drive and doesn't take his teeth out on a date. Just saying.

 

[daisyduck123]

Walk away...

No....

get away FAST in your car that you won't be driving him around in.

 

[3jsmommy]

Or am I overreacting?

2 weeks ago I went out on a date with a very nice man. He is 35 and I am 31. We met off a dating website. When we emailed or chatted online at first, he did not type well at all and kept saying when he saw me he would explain why. Then he told me that he doesn't drive, not thrilled but I had an idea of why he didn't.

I pick him up, we go to dinner, it was very nice. However as soon as we sat down he said he always wanted to go on a Disney Cruise, maybe if things work out we could do that together. I thought wow, great a little weird but nice. He didn't know how much I loved Disney so I thought it was a good sign.

Then he started to tell me about his life. He is a recovered addict (drugs and alcohol) 9 years. Good for him. That was why he did not have his liscense. He can get it back soon he told me.

He also said that because of the drugs he has trouble writing.

That was a Saturday, we saw each other again Tuesday and then Thursday that same week.

My concern is that I am going to be his driver, he has asked me to take him several places over the course of the next few months. His mother will be dead 6 years this Feb. my birthday is in Feb. as well. He already wants to meet my family ( he knows my stepfather, they used to work together ) taking all of us out for my birthday.

He then asked me to drive him about 2 hours to visit his mother's grave. This is where my issue starts. WE don't know each other well enough and I think its weird. We talk often enough and I am happy about that but I am finding out more things about him and on our last date together we just went out for a quick bite of Pizza and well he took his teeth out in the restaurant.

Then he told me that he can't read or write well because he is Autistic. He wa also married 9 years ago but had it anulled because he was too high and drunk.

I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but maybe its me I am overthinking things and everything will be fine. Should I just see where things go or should I be concerned?

Has he been sober for nine years or was he using for nine years?
I'm thinking he would have his license back by now if he's been sober for almost a decade.
The teeth out in the restaurant would have me running if I wasn't already!
Jeez, your 31....maybe that would be overlooked at 91, but nooooo!

 

[Mickeyistheman]

The driving thing bothers me the most! I thought that I was just overreacting but most of my friends said that it would be an issue with them as well.

My other challenge is he told me that he sent away for a birthday gift for me already! My birthday is about 2 weeks away and I don't know what to do about that.

 

[RunningGirl]

BRIGHT red flag(s). Walk away.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would say it is a red ship.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

He has been sober for 9 years and I think that is great and I feel in giving people second chances. He also has held down a good job for the past 18 years.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The driving thing bothers me the most! I thought that I was just overreacting but most of my friends said that it would be an issue with them as well.

My other challenge is he told me that he sent away for a birthday gift for me already! My birthday is about 2 weeks away and I don't know what to do about that.

You do nothing. He sees an easy mark on you for some reason.

 

[LoraJ]

Too many red flags for me too.

 

[XTinabell]

You do nothing. He sees an easy mark on you for some reason.

Agreed. It's not your problem that he already sent away for your gift (if he actually did). You need to stop contact with him, tell him that it's not going to work. I'm all for giving people second chances too if they deserve it and I know them, you gave this guy a chance and it's not working out.

 

[Spinning]

run away fast as you can. And do not go for a 2 hour car ride with him....just doesn't sound right at all!

 

[englishteacha]

Hmm...each thing individually would not strike me as a red flag, but everything together does make me a bit uncomfortable. And taking the teeth out? Yeah...that alone would make me rethink! Table manners aren't too much to ask for! Taking out your teeth in front of a date is just weird.

 

[NC State]

Please tell him that it will not work out and wish him the best...please, please walk away and keep us up on the turn out.

 

[3jsmommy]

He has been sober for 9 years and I think that is great and I feel in giving people second chances. He also has held down a good job for the past 18 years.

That is great, but what did he do to that he still can't drive?

 

[Just Jan]

run away fast as you can. And do not go for a 2 hour car ride with him....just doesn't sound right at all!

Oh I thought the same thing. I guess I watch too many crime shows.
Please do not go on a long trip alone with a man you don't know well.

Way too many red flags and the teeth thing..GROSS

 

[vettechick99]

Walk away...

Quickly!!!!