Dance Mom tv show- ok for kids? opinions plz

[disneydancemom]

hello all- not trying to stir some major debate, but would like some honest , nice (LOL) feedback to this question.

My daughter and i started watching Dance Mom about 2 weeks ago. In other word, we've only seen a couple episodes. My daughter is 8, and on a competitive dance team. We heard about the show from some people in her dance studio. Anyway we watched it, and we liked it. My daughter really likes watching the girls dance, and wanted to watch it last night. I should also mention, the only other show we really watch, is Dancing with the Stars. You get the point. Everything else is disney channel, nick, etc.

Long story short my husband came in the room while it was on, heard Abbe telling the girls they were being lazy,etc. and said he didnt want my daughter watching it, pulled the cable card out of the tv, and threatened to shut off the cable if we keep watching it. this reaction feels really over the top to me.

what do you all think? dance mom ok for kids? i thought so...but hey...

thanks!

 

[Allison]

I have seen the show. If I had an 8'year old I would not let them watch it. There is too much drama and it is so mean spirited. Seems designed for adults to me.

 

[Tinkerpeas hubby]

hello all- not trying to stir some major debate, but would like some honest , nice (LOL) feedback to this question.

My daughter and i started watching Dance Mom about 2 weeks ago. In other word, we've only seen a couple episodes. My daughter is 8, and on a competitive dance team. We heard about the show from some people in her dance studio. Anyway we watched it, and we liked it. My daughter really likes watching the girls dance, and wanted to watch it last night. I should also mention, the only other show we really watch, is Dancing with the Stars. You get the point. Everything else is disney channel, nick, etc.

Long story short my husband came in the room while it was on, heard Abbe telling the girls they were being lazy,etc. and said he didnt want my daughter watching it, pulled the cable card out of the tv, and threatened to shut off the cable if we keep watching it. this reaction feels really over the top to me.

what do you all think? dance mom ok for kids? i thought so...but hey...

thanks!

I'd say your husband over reacted, has he said specifically why he does not wish your daughter to be watching the show.

You are watching the programme with your daughter, so she is supervised in the event that she see's something that maybe inappropriate.

 

[maggs1035]

No! I don't think it's ok for kids to watch an adult act the way Abby does, nor is it ok for your daughter to watch parents acting the way those mothers behave? I hope your daughters dance experience in real life is nothing like what we see on tv? Abby says some terrible sole crushing things to those young ladies and it is borderline CPS worthy. Its starting to show in the way the girls are handling it! It appears that Maddy is crumbling from this experience, its sad! This all being said, I don't really get why I am so interested in watching it myself? It is so addicting! I don't believe that lifetime intended for children to watch it due to the fact that it's on at 9pm? One more note... If my husband EVER took the card out of the cable box there would be a big problem with that! We have been married for 21 yrs and have 5 children and we don't disrespect each other like that!

Good luck to your daughter and her dance experience (hopefully nothing like Abby lee dance)

 

[disneydancemom]

maggs- no, her dance studio and teachers are nothing like that at all! she told me she would never want to dance for Abbe , lol! She just likes to watch the dancing.

 

[MSSANDRA]

While I would not allow my daughter to watch the show, I would be much more concerned about her seeing the disrespect her own father gave you upon seeing you watching the show. A private conversation between the two of you later or even his sitting down to watch and expressing his opinions would have been a much better way to handle it. I think shows such as these reality shows desensitizes young girls to the disrespect and disregard for each others feelings.

 

[maggs1035]

maggs- no, her dance studio and teachers are nothing like that at all! she told me she would never want to dance for Abbe , lol! She just likes to watch the dancing.

I agree with her on that one, I love watching Maddy and Chloe (actually all the girls) dance, I have a 19 yr old daughter who was a cheerleader for our school for ten yrs. She started when she was in second grade and it ended when she graduated! Cheer is not like old school cheer, they cheer at games, but most girls are in it for the competitions and the "dance" routines, we went to nationals at Disney world twice and came out very well each time She graduated last June and it was a huge part of our lives year round and I think I like watching dance moms because I miss cheer so much! However cheer was nothing like that, never would our coaches be disrespectful like that to children or adults!

I wish there was a show about cheer squads

 

[RMulieri]

I have an 8 yr old and no way would I let her watch it.

 

[luvmy2babies]

My daughter is 9. I’ve only seen the commercials and that was enough. While I think your husband over-reacted, (okay I have a big problem with how he reacted) I would not allow my child to watch this show.

 

[Tinkerpeas hubby]

I have seen the show. If I had an 8'year old I would not let them watch it. There is too much drama and it is so mean spirited. Seems designed for adults to me.

The dance community is extremely competitive and dramatic.

My wife spent 17 years in various ballet schools across the country since she was a child. The stories that she has told me would shock you, from girls sabotarging others shoes, music etc, however that is the culture.

 

[Familyof4lovesDW]

I would not let her watch it. My dh cannot stand it and thinks the parents are awful for letting the kids get treated like that. I did dance for 13 years and love tv drama, so I guess this show is for me I was never treated like that, nor was I no where as good as they are lol.

What I would do if she is interested in the dancing would be to Dvr it and allow her to watch the part where they dance, not the talking parts as they are not appropriate for her age. This would be a compromise between the two.

 

[disneydancemom]

famliy of four- thanks! thats a good idea

 

[Danibelle]

I agree with her on that one, I love watching Maddy and Chloe (actually all the girls) dance, I have a 19 yr old daughter who was a cheerleader for our school for ten yrs. She started when she was in second grade and it ended when she graduated! Cheer is not like old school cheer, they cheer at games, but most girls are in it for the competitions and the "dance" routines, we went to nationals at Disney world twice and came out very well each time She graduated last June and it was a huge part of our lives year round and I think I like watching dance moms because I miss cheer so much! However cheer was nothing like that, never would our coaches be disrespectful like that to children or adults!

I wish there was a show about cheer squads

I do too! But unfortunately, cheer can be disrespectful also. It just depends on the coaching. Hopefully, none of us have that experience. My DD danced for many years and did some competing; she had mostly good experiences (great teacher and dance studio) but some of the moms...? Another story.

BTW, I watch Dance Moms and am addicted to it.

 

[Hannathy]

I would allow mine to watch it. I censor very very little TV.
I don't get what the problem is in having children watch this show.

Guess what there are plenty of folks like this out in the world so why shouldn't they see this? I think kids should be exposed to all different ways things are handled in the world and as many different kinds of people as I can possibly expose them to. If you never see bad you have very little to judge good against.

I think this is a wonderful opportunity to discuss how she comes across to people, and how the girls may feel being talked to like this.
It is a bit over the top but not far in a lot of cases when you get to the level these girls are in any sport or dance, music,theater.

Competition is tough and not the competition where everyone is special and gets a trophy, but true competition.


As far as your DH taking the card Oh boy!! If mine EVER did that he would be trying to dislodge that card from somewhere that it would not be picking up reception. He is not my Father and has no right telling me what I can or can't watch. He is her Father and if he feels that strongly he can say he doesn't want her watching and even if I disagreed until we could discuss it I would send her out of the room but don't pull that power thing on me!
Wow. Again I am mystified by this current generation of younger woman.

 

[disneydancemom]

hannathy- i really liked your post. i agree with a lot of what you said.
maybe im wrong here - but i didnt take what i saw of abbe as serious- some of that has to be staged...

as far as putting up with the controlling behaviour- yeah, thats an ongoing issue. he wasnt always like that. its a problem i am trying to deal with- sounds like another post altogether

 

[maggs1035]

I do too! But unfortunately, cheer can be disrespectful also. It just depends on the coaching. Hopefully, none of us have that experience. My DD danced for many years and did some competing; she had mostly good experiences (great teacher and dance studio) but some of the moms...? Another story.

BTW, I watch Dance Moms and am addicted to it.

Oh I know cheer can be bad, but ours wasn't too bad, but some of the teams we competed against year after year were getting bad. Probably because our team won Section 5 championships 7 seasons in a row, and we were undefeated for many year long competitions and the others teams would get very cranky when we walked in to a competition! Some teams would say some nasty things to our girls! Shame that it goes on :-(

 

[sk!mom]

Long story short my husband came in the room while it was on, heard Abbe telling the girls they were being lazy,etc. and said he didnt want my daughter watching it, pulled the cable card out of the tv, and threatened to shut off the cable if we keep watching it. this reaction feels really over the top to me.

what do you all think? dance mom ok for kids? i thought so...but hey...

thanks!

I'm not an overly protective mom and my DD just turned 16 but I think the show would be fine. I think that I would have let her watch it at 8 but again, I'm pretty lenient when it comes to TV.


I would not, however, allow my DH to speak to me in that way or have an outburst like that in front of my child- not that he ever would. Your DH appears to have a lot in common with Abby Lee Miller. He was likely uncomfortable seeing himself on TV. I know that you asked for kind comments but really just as I'm amazed that the moms on Dance Moms would allow Abby to be so abusive, I can't remain quiet on the topic of your DH's behavior.

 

[Hannathy]

I think some of the showy part is antics for the camera. But the toughness isn't, if that makes sense.

When you are at that level and on a team like that then you do what the coach tells you or you are off, no compromise, no worrying about feelings. They don't sugar coat what you are doing wrong. And if you do guess what there are many others willing to take your place in a heartbeat.

What I think is the staged part is how long she "argues" with the Mothers. In my experience she wouldn't be doing this, it would be her way or the highway and she wouldn't spend the energy bickering all the time. But it makes good TV.


(glad to hear you are dealing with the control issue!)

 

[Tinkerpeas hubby]

My daughter is 9. I’ve only seen the commercials and that was enough. While I think your husband over-reacted, (okay I have a big problem with how he reacted) I would not allow my child to watch this show.

Your husband did make the wrong decision.

My wife would tear me to shreds if I did that

 

[maggs1035]

I would allow mine to watch it. I censor very very little TV.
I don't get what the problem is in having children watch this show.

Guess what there are plenty of folks like this out in the world so why shouldn't they see this? I think kids should be exposed to all different ways things are handled in the world and as many different kinds of people as I can possibly expose them to. If you never see bad you have very little to judge good against.

I think this is a wonderful opportunity to discuss how she comes across to people, and how the girls may feel being talked to like this.
It is a bit over the top but not far in a lot of cases when you get to the level these girls are in any sport or dance, music,theater.

Competition is tough and not the competition where everyone is special and gets a trophy, but true competition.


As far as your DH taking the card Oh boy!! If mine EVER did that he would be trying to dislodge that card from somewhere that it would not be picking up reception. He is not my Father and has no right telling me what I can or can't watch. He is her Father and if he feels that strongly he can say he doesn't want her watching and even if I disagreed until we could discuss it I would send her out of the room but don't pull that power thing on me!
Wow. Again I am mystified by this current generation of younger woman.

I totally get what your saying, I grew up in Christian schools and they were way too strict! I got suspended once for fixing my BROTHERS tie??? They had a 6" rule (couldn't be within 6" of the opposite sex) hahaha he's my brother??? Anyway when I left home I was so nieve (sp?) I had no idea what the world was really about and had a hard time adjusting! I just get concerned that kids who are not guided through shows like this will start behaving in that way because they think it's cool or normal? If you use it as a teaching moment then maybe it can be helpful? I do notice that the girls do not seem to treat each other with disrespect, they seem to be closely bonded and support one another! I just can't stand when I hear Abby say to Nia "your mom doesn't love you, if she loved you she would be here" that's just uncalled for? Many comments like that come out of her mouth?