Culture trends you dislike?

[Alicefan]

I do agree with you on that. I wasn't really thinking about people taking photos as a hobby, but more those who feel like they are obligated to photograph every part of their trip. Most of the people I have seen are just holding their phones above their head blocking everyone else's view. Certainly not trying to get an artistic shot because they truly enjoy photography or video.

We lived in FL when I was a kid and went to Disney often. My dad took so many videos of fireworks and parades that he has since realized were completely pointless. They're blurry or he's bobbing all around because he was trying to watch the event instead of looking through the camera, but felt like he "needed' to capture it on video. The videos are absolutely awful and no one is going to watch them. He didn't have any interest in videoing as a hobby; he just felt like since he had the camera he should take the video. It would have been so much more valuable if he had fully enjoyed the experience, watched his kids enjoying it, etc. Now on trips if he does take his camera out, it's just to take a few pictures of the grandchildren and not bother with everything else that he's never going to look at again.

That's exactly what I meant too. The 95% of people randomly holding their phones in the air are not amateur photographers. I get it if it's your hobby. That makes perfect sense.

 

[Alicefan]

It used to be people holding up lighters during concerts, now it's everyone recording their phones.

PS- I coulda swore that was also illegal. I cite the episode of What's Happening when a crook persuaded Rerun to record a Doobie Brothers concert. Spoiler Alert: all he got on tape was the sound of Rerun eating popcorn.

I laughed way too hard at this! lolol

 

[tzolkin]

Is "y'all" ok if I'm a Northerner?

It's a perfect gender neutral plural for everyone.

2 - female hair where it looks like you were too lazy to do anything other than run your hair through the curling iron and not brush it afterwards.

Can you share some pictures? Because I have no idea what "running your hair through a curling iron and not brushing it afterwards" even means so now I'm curious what hairstyle trend you're referring to. I will admit that I have never used a curling iron. But I also know that you absolutely cannot brush curly hair. So I don't know why anyone would brush hair right after they curled it. Wouldn't that just ruin it?

 

[spiders]

The media bias (again both or all sides) I think is one of the biggest issues we have here. Very few news outlets just tell the story with just the facts anymore. They spin it to their demographics or make it somehow more sensational to garner viewership. So now before I can form an opinion on any issues I have to read at least 3 different sources bc I want to make an actual informed opinion on things, not just what the media tells me I should think.


Another issue that bothers me with the news is that when someone is arrested for anything, there is an automatic assumption of guilt from the general public. You can see it on any news page social media post. Someone is arrested and immediately in the comments everyone is like "hang em!". Suddenly everyone is an attorney or law enforcement official and knows all the facts and is sure the person is guilty without knowing any real facts about the case at all. It drives me crazy. We really no longer live in an age of innocent until proven guilty. Once arrested you are guilty unless you can prove you are innocent. Bc I promise most of the jurors will have the same mindset as the general public commenting on fb.

I don’t ever remember a time where you were truly innocent until proven guilty. The internet has simply made the spreading of an arrest faster. Let’s face it — nobody wants to hear you were arrested for something serious.

You were arrested for child porn? Oh but you were acquitted? Yeah, we still don’t want you here. Good luck though in your future endeavors!

I mean — can you really say your initial reaction wouldn’t be the same?

 

[dez1978]

I don’t ever remember a time where you were truly innocent until proven guilty. The internet has simply made the spreading of an arrest faster. Let’s face it — nobody wants to hear you were arrested for something serious.

You were arrested for child porn? Oh but you were acquitted? Yeah, we still don’t want you here. Good luck though in your future endeavors!

I mean — can you really say your initial reaction wouldn’t be the same?

Having worked in the criminal justice field for more than 20 years, I've learned not to assume that just because someone was arrested that there was any real evidence that they committed the crime. Even just a little research on wrongful convictions will show how many people were convicted based on nothing but a witness claiming they saw that person do the thing. No actual evidence. Then years later that witness recants their story. So yeah, I can 100% say regardless of the crime, that would not be my initial reaction. Because real life experience has taught me that an arrest does not equal guilt in any way.

 

[RamblingMad]

Selfies and instagram folks at National Parks or on popular trails. Too many people have to be rescued for being stupid. Or if they're at the Grand Canyon, they're likely to die falling over the edge.

 

[chickapin parterre]

driving at 75 MPH when all we have to do is boycott gas at 55MPH......

 

[Planogirl]

People thinking that their opinions are of massive importance. Yes opinions matter and are to me interesting but they are not the end all that they often want you to believe.

 

[aprilgail]

Is "y'all" ok if I'm a Northerner?

y'all is NEVER ok no matter where you are from LOL.

 

[goofytinkerbell]

So many people beat me to so many things!

I would say the culture of going into work when you're sick

There's a lot to unpack for this one. We have a "work yourself to death" culture. It's some sort of weakness to take a day off, and in some cases you get punished for it (think promotions, etc). Lets talk about vacation for a second. I haven't taken a vacation day in 2 years because of that same culture, and because there's too much work to do. If I take a day off, I have to work 3x as hard for the next week to make up for it. I'm also looked down on by management for taking a day. If someone is gone for more than a day, they're expected to be accessible. If they have your home/cell number they'll call you, if they don't, they'll try and contact you through social media.

Now imagine what it's like if you're sick and not at 100% to start with. You almost have to go to work just to keep from falling even farther behind. I haven't had a day off in years where I didn't at the very least get one message asking for something. We don't have backups for positions, and so there's no one to cover when someone is out. That is a problem with the employer, but it seems to be very common in my area.

All that aside, people often don't have enough sick days, if they even get any. And those days are expected to cover themselves as well as their kids (because you can't leave a sick kid home alone) and not everyone has the ability/option to work from home.

Tipping culture. Just pay people a living wage and don't count on customers to make up for a ridiculously low hourly rate.

So much this. It's uncomfortable for everyone, and customers are expected to supplement employee wages because employers are cheap. I'd rather see them outlaw tipping altogether, even if that means raising prices. And in no way am I saying I don't tip... But to be fair, I also don't eat out often.

Of course, I'm assuming we're referring to the restaurant industry in the OP's comment. I also don't like tipping culture around other things... Also, how do we determine who's worthy of a tip and who isn't? I mean, you're expected to tip your server, your newspaper delivery person (those still exist, right? ) but not, say, the cashier at Walmart. I don't get it. Why are we expected to tip for some services and not others, and why are we expected to tip certain people even if they do a terrible job?

So many selfies! I don't get it. Why do people want so many pictures of themselves?

And you go to any tourist attraction and you can't get a picture of the actual building/landscape, etc because everyone is posing in front of it.

I don't actually have a problem with this. It's very common for people to want a picture of themselves in front of something, especially when travelling. As someone who owns a "real" camera (not a cell phone) I'm VERY uncomfortable handing a stranger a $1500 piece of equipment that they don't know how to use, expect them to take a decent photo with it and not mishandle/break something or run away with it (yes, someone tried that once). A selfie is a way to do that in a better/safter way. I do think people should be respectful enough to take turns, so that everyone can get the photo they want. And no, I don't get the random selfies for no reason other than vanity... but to each their own

Someone else made a comment about everyone taking their own crappy photos or videos of parades and fireworks and things. Yes, I'm aware I could go find better photos online. I don't WANT someone else's. The fun for me IS taking these, and you (the collective you, not a specific person) doesn't have to understand that. I don't let it ruin the experience though. Sometimes I let my pictures be crappy because I'm watching whatever it is over the camera, and I'm just looking down enough to make sure it's pointed in the right direction. And I'm okay with it turning out terribly in that instance... but I still want MY photos/video. We haul them out now and then (yes, even the terrible ones) and still thoroughly enjoy them.

If ir were only people/places that had a history of repetitively doing things like that who were getting canceled, I'd agree. But it's not. It seems that lately it only takes one incident of bad behavior before people get "canceled", not a history of bad behavior. And it doesn't even have to be a recent incident. Things from 20 years ago get dug up and used againt people now, even tho that was a single incident. Thats the kind of thing I'm talking about.

This particular post I read earlier actually had to do with Disney. And those who say they are no longer going bc of changes being made. Regardless of if you agree with the changes or not, you can choose to go or not. You don't get to "cancel" Disney because you don't agree with something and make it so no one can go to disney. (this is just an example) You choose not to go and let others make the same decision for themselves. The money gained/lost will be what pushes Disney to go one way or the other. The same for musicians, actors or any other business. If you find the music, show, product offensive, don't partake in it. If enough people stop partaking the artist/business will change. But that doesn't mean that everyone has to or will find that thing offensive just because you do. That doesn't mean said product has to be eliminated from the market just because some don't like it.

I'm of the same mindset. "Cancel culture" isn't about saying "hey this thing is racist/sexist/terrible for whatever reason and we should collectively work to improve this". Cancel culture is more about "I don't like this thing and nobody else is allowed to either".

If we're talking about a person and their bad behavior, the attitude seems to be that anything that person has done needs to disappear. Take the Will Smith slap for example. Bad behavior? Absolutely. Does that mean that everything he's ever done in his life is now tainted? Is he now a bad actor? Should we ban his movies? For the most part, I don't believe people are all good or all bad (I can think of exceptions) and I don't think the bad things someone does cancels out the good. I also think making things "disappear" means that people aren't actually learning anything. There are people whose movies I can't watch because of certain things I know about them in the real world and I can't see past it. That's MY problem. I don't think their movies should be banned because I have a hang-up.

The kind of cancel culture I see most often these days is more of the "I don't like this, so it needs to go away". Someone will say something is offensive, and call for it to be banned. Just because one person finds it offensive doesn't mean everyone does, and this pervasive attitude of "I'm right and everyone MUST agree with me" is a bit frightening. I'm up for a good discussion, but sometimes you have to agree to disagree and accept that the difference of opinion isn't going to go away. And people need to learn that just because you don't agree with someone, that doesn't make them a bad person (obviously there are cases where they actually are, but you know what I'm getting at) and it doesn't mean you have to hate each other.

This is absolutely correct. The media is the way it is because WE want it that way. As much as everybody complains about it, they get the views and clicks. Have you ever noticed how many people say that they never eat at McDonald's? Like, seriously, nobody must eat at McDonald's - and yet....

Okay, I just had to reply to this. I had McDonald's for breakfast I was hungry, I was already out, it was convenient to my location, and it was the cheapest thing in that area. Seriously though, 5 bucks for an egg mcmuffin? It wasn't even that good, but it kept me from starving

 

[Suger Mag]

all or nothing mentality...

if you cannot have something/or something doesn't work at 100% then why bother...


also ' closely related to the 'But what about the__________' purity standards ... in that you can't support X because of Y.

What ever happened to improvement with time, and learning from mistakes and doing better .... sometimes it feels like instant gratification is all the norm.... oh well, it did not work perfect, time to toss it...

 

[Where’s the beef]

Unfortunately, there is no way to have this conversation that will not end up getting the whole thread shut down, so I'm going to have to politely decline having this discussion so that others can contiune to enjoy this thread.

“I can’t make a point to refute this so I’m backing down.”

 

[Vatrahaki75]

So much this. It's uncomfortable for everyone, and customers are expected to supplement employee wages because employers are cheap. I'd rather see them outlaw tipping altogether, even if that means raising prices. And in no way am I saying I don't tip... But to be fair, I also don't eat out often.

Of course, I'm assuming we're referring to the restaurant industry in the OP's comment. I also don't like tipping culture around other things... Also, how do we determine who's worthy of a tip and who isn't? I mean, you're expected to tip your server, your newspaper delivery person (those still exist, right? ) but not, say, the cashier at Walmart. I don't get it. Why are we expected to tip for some services and not others, and why are we expected to tip certain people even if they do a terrible job?

There is a war about this in the "NextDoor" app where I live. One guy is calling everyone who doesn't tip the restaurant industry standard of 20% cheapskates, Boomers, scum of the earth, etc.

 

[goofytinkerbell]

There is a war about this in the "NextDoor" app where I live. One guy is calling everyone who doesn't tip the industry standard of 20% cheapskates, Boomers, scum of the earth, etc.

Or maybe they just don't agree that tipping is a requirement But 20% is a lot, especially when it's expected regardless of performance. Tipping is supposed to be a bonus for exceptional services, but some places (the US is probably the worst for it) treat it as part of the employee wages. I absolutely despise it. Get rid of the lower minimum wage for wait staff and pay them at least the proper minimum wage (min wage is a different discussion I won't get into) and if you need to raise prices to cover it then do that. Customers can then decide if the meal is worth it, and let your business succeed or fail that way.

(And for anyone who doesn't know, some places have a lower minimum wage for wait staff because they factor in tips)

The last time I went to a restaurant (which I try to avoid due to costs), the waitress basically ignored us. Glasses weren't refilled, we had to track her down to ask for the bill and then we still waited 20 minutes for it. We were an easy table, drinking water and soft drinks (and not a lot of either) and no booze. She wasn't busy, we could see her from where we were sitting. 2 out of 4 people at our table didn't tip her (not going to lie, she didn't deserve a tip) but I'm not sure if that restaurant does tip sharing so I did. I'd much rather have gone into the back and given the money directly to the cook (who did an excellent job), but it doesn't work that way. The other person who left a tip did so because it's "expected", and she proceeded to complain about the service for the rest of the day. We live in an area where minimum wage is the same for everyone, yet we're still expected to tip.

 

[Vatrahaki75]

The last time I went to a restaurant (which I try to avoid due to costs), the waitress basically ignored us. Glasses weren't refilled, we had to track her down to ask for the bill and then we still waited 20 minutes for it. We were an easy table, drinking water and soft drinks (and not a lot of either) and no booze. She wasn't busy, we could see her from where we were sitting. 2 out of 4 people at our table didn't tip her (not going to lie, she didn't deserve a tip) but I'm not sure if that restaurant does tip sharing so I did. I'd much rather have gone into the back and given the money directly to the cook (who did an excellent job), but it doesn't work that way. The other person who left a tip did so because it's "expected", and she proceeded to complain about the service for the rest of the day. We live in an area where minimum wage is the same for everyone, yet we're still expected to tip.

I once ended up bypassing the server because of horrendous service and handed money directly to the bus-person. She was confused, so I had to explain why I was doing what I did. I didn't want to punish the others who are relying on a tip because the server was an *****.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

I don’t like this “you vote and believe differently from me so we have to hate each other” thing that’s going on now. Half my extended family are EXTREMELY liberal and the other half are EXTREMELY conservative but we all love each other and we just agree to disagree. Every now and then there will be a heated conversation but we realize that what we believe isn’t who we are. There are good and bad people on both sides, but we’re all Americans and that should be more uniting then it is. It’s really sad to see what’s happening in our country

 

[dez1978]

“I can’t make a point to refute this so I’m backing down.”

Oh I can but it would get me points I’m sure, or get the thread shut down so I choose not to

 

[yensid's offspring]

To be honest the nonsense of getting rid of announcing "Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls" before the fireworks, shows, parades etc. It is absolutely ridiculous that this demand was catered to. How about you just keep things business as usual and ignore the small, extremely loud and obnoxious, minority that called for this change.

 

[dreamer17555]

To be honest the nonsense of getting rid of announcing "Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls" before the fireworks, shows, parades etc. It is absolutely ridiculous that this demand was catered to. How about you just keep things business as usual and ignore the small, extremely loud and obnoxious, minority that called for this change.

Welcome dreamers of all ages is more inclusive and it doesn’t hurt anyone so why is it a problem?

I am so sick of people refusing to make space in the world for minority groups. Being called a dreamer is a lovely way to start off the firework show. I love it!

 

[yensid's offspring]

Welcome dreamers of all ages is more inclusive and it doesn’t hurt anyone so why is it a problem?

I am so sick of people refusing to make space in the world for minority groups. Being called a dreamer is a lovely way to start off the firework show. I love it!

Why does "Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls" offend anyone? How about they say "Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls and dreamers of all ages. That would be totally inclusive and offend no one. It would cater to the small minorities while also keeping the large majority of purists happy. The problem is that the majority always has to bow to the minority, in the name of inclusion, even if that inclusion is against their deeply held religious or moral beliefs. Why can't the original phrase stay, while adding the caveat of dreamers of all ages to be inclusive to the small minority that find the original offensive.