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"Warnings?

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

"Warning: Contents may be hot"
(Oh really? Gee, I didn't think I'd ordered COLD coffee)

"Cannon May Be Loud"
(Isn't that kind of the point?)

"Sidewalk Ends"
(Logic dictates that it must end at some point)

Okay I found this hilarious XD. There are so many stupid things on packages.."
 
Man is walking home alone late one foggy Halloween night, when behind him he hears:


BUMP...



BUMP...



BUMP...




Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.



BUMP...




BUMP...




BU MP...




Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.




FASTER...



FASTER...




BUMP...




BUMP...




BUMP....



He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.




Clappity-BUMP...



Clappity-BUMP..




Clappity-BUMP...




On his heels, as the terrified man runs.



Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, he locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.



With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.






Bumping and clapping toward him.





The man screams and reache s for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...




And,






















The coffin stops.
 
THE WIDER VIEW: Taking shape, the new bridge at the Hoover Dam


Creeping closer inch by inch ? 900ft above the mighty Colorado River. The two sides of a $160 million bridge at the Hoover Dam in America slowly take shape. The bridge will carry a new section of US Route 93 past the bottleneck of the old road which can be seen twisting and winding around and across the dam itself. When complete, it will provide a new link between the states of Nevada and Arizona . In an incredible feat of engineering, the road will be supported on the two massive concrete arches which jut out of the rock face. The arches are made up of 53 individual sections ? each 24ft long ? which have been cast on-site and are being lifted into place using an improvised high-wire crane strung between temporary steel pylons.

smbl14.jpg

Spectacular: The new Hoover Dam bypass

Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
but how to dance in the rain.
 

It would be amazing if you guys would add a search button to VFK. Like, put it on the popular guest room list and such so people can search through the rooms, and find a room they want to go to. It would help so much! Thanks for all you do for VFK. Everything is amazing, and all of the Halloween stuff is awesome!!! Great job, VFK Staff.
 
Contact Us
Thank you for your submission. If appropriate, we will respond to your inquiry via email as soon as possible.

Thank you again for your interest in Virtual Family Kingdom!
 
User name: myleadguitargal
Type (text, handwritten, signature, etc): Signature.
Size: 500 x 250
Pictures:
n64186.jpg


28v8wlk.jpg


11rasz8.jpg

Textures: I'm not really sure, just whatever you think would look good with it.
Brushes: I'm not really sure, just whatever you think would look good with it.
Fonts: http://www.dafont.com/font.php?file...ree+Days+Grace&nb_ppp=10&psize=m&classt=alpha
Text: Three Days Grace
Colors: White, Dark Red, Black.
Other (effects, etc): I'm not really sure, just whatever you think would look ok with it.
Notification? (if so, PM or visitor message?) : PM
[Handwritings only] Thickness**: Whatever you think would look good.
If any of these do not apply, leave them blank or
 
http://www.**************/id/11-10-2009_THE+USED+CONCERT_0-0-0_0.png​
 
Heartless - Kanye West

In the night, i hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told.
somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul.
to a woman so heartless..
how could you be so heartless?
oh.. how could you be so heartless.

How could you be so, cold as the winter wind when it breeze yo.
just remember that you talkin' to me though.
you know need to watch the way you talkin' to me yo. i mean after all the things that we've been through.
i mean after all the things we got into.
hey yo, i know of some things that you aint told me.
hey yo, i did some things but that's the old me.
and now you wanna get me back and you goin' show me.
so you walk around like you dont know me.
you got a new friend, well i got homies.
but in the end it's still so lonely.

In the night, i hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told.
somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul.
to a woman so heartless..
how could you be so heartless?
oh.. how could you be so heartless.

How could be so Dr. Evil, you bringin' out the side of me that i dont know..
i decided we weren't goin' speak so.
why we up 3 A.M. on the phone.
why does she be so mad at me fo'.
homie i dont know, she's hot and cold.
i wont stop, i wont mess my groove up
cause i already know how this thing go.
YOU RUN AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS THAT YOU LEAVING ME
they say that they dont see what you see in me.
you wait a couple months then you gon' see.
you'll never find nobody better than me.

In the night, i hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told.
somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul.
to a woman so heartless..
how could you be so heartless?
oh.. how could you be so heartless.

Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk
baby lets just knock it off
they dont know what we been through
they dont know 'bout me and you
so i got something new to see
and you just gon' keep hatin' me
and we just gon' be enemies
i know you cant believe
i could just leave it wrong
and you cant make it right
im gon' take off tonight
into the night..

In the night, i hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told.
somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul.
to a woman so heartless..
how could you be so heartless?
oh.. how could you be so heartless.
 
In the night, I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever told, somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul, to a woman so heartless.. how could you be so heartless? oh.. how could you be so heartless?
 
Fire Burning - Sean Kingston

Somebody call 911!
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor, whoa
(Fire burning, fire burning)
What a gwaan!
Kingston,
Let’s Go,
Hey!
Red One
Hey Hey

Shawty got that super thing
Hotter than the sun of south in spain
Got me soon as I walked through the door
My pocket started tickling
The way she dropped it low, that thang
Got me wan' spend my money on her, her

She get it, pop it, lock i,t drop it,
That birthday cake,
Got a candle, need to blow that crazy flame away
Now take my red, black card and my jewelry
Shawty is cool like the fire,
Cool like fire

Somebody call 911
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor
Whoa
I gotta cool her down
She wan' bring the roof to ground on the dance floor
Whoa
She’s fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor
That little shawty’s fire burning on the dance floor
She's fire burning fire burning on the dance floor
That little shawty’s fire burning on the dance floor
(Fire burning, fire burning)

That body is a masterpiece
The order is one in every hundred years
But ain’t no doubt i’m taking it home
I'm afraid we'll blow them legs
Little mama game is about to change
She’ll be on covers over the world

She get it pop it lock it drop it that birthday cake
Got a candle need to blow that crazy flame away
Take my red, black card and my jewellery
Shawty is cool like the fire
Cool like fire

Somebody call 911
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor
Whoa
I gotta cool her down
She won't bring the roof to ground on the dance floor
Whoa
She’s fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor
That little shawty’s fire burning on the dance floor
Shes fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor
That little shawty’s fire burning on the dance floor

She got that fire in her dance that’ll make them fella’s run around
Hey
No exit from the dance floor so them boys want more
Hey
She got that fire in her dance that’ll make them fella’s run around
(Madem, get outta my way , everybody, sing it now, hey!)
No exit from the dance floor so them boys wan' more
(What a Gwaan? Let's go! Madem, let's go, hey!)

She get it, pop it, lock it, drop it, that birthday cake
Got a candle, need to blow that crazy flame away
Take my red , black card and my jewellery
Shawty is cool like the fire,
Cool like fire

Somebody call 911
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor
Whoa
I gotta cool her down
She wan' bring the roof to ground on the dance floor
Whoa
She’s fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor
That little shawty’s fire burning on the dance floor
She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor
That little shawty’s fire burning on the dance floor.
 
You're A Jerk - New Boyz

You're a jerk!(16x)

Jerk Jerk Jerk!(5x)

JEEERRRRKKK
So cocky with it got my iced out clubs like rocky hit it
Got your girl on my swagg she lovin them jerkin songs
Like the new ipod just touch it and turn her on
And when the bass start beatin and the waist I'm beatin
Done I got on my way I'm leavin she like where you goin? I aint got my shoes and purse
I said it's none of your concern and she yelled (your a jerk!)
So I walked out the door called Ben J. told him it's a function he said I'm on my way
We pulled up to the party I take off my shirt and got geeked up everybody jerkin
We was jerkin to the right jerkin to the left
Then she popped out of nowhere she was still half dressed
She like fa real jerk you left me for this stuff
the whole party heard her but all I could hear was..

Wahhh, Wahhh, Wah Wah Wah..(your a jerk)
Why you trippin I aint even do nothin(your a jerk)
Im a jerk, you aint neva lie
But aye do me a favor call me jerk one more time(your a jerk!)
I know

You're a jerk! (I know) [x6]
Jerk jerk jerk (jerkin) [4x]

Everything quiet and the bass real hard
And I stay geeked up never been a retard got a new boy swagg
And this here for yall so we gotta keep it separate like the jim crowe laws
I'm a beast I'm a gang and I guess I'm a jerk and I go thru big rounds Cause ya boy here a flirt
Man you call me a bottle with your lil jerk lines
Then you say you brought it up but the jerk is mine
You squeezin I'm squeezin but yo style is wack
Why you comin to the front you can push that back
got ya girl on the side She talkin sum lil stuff while she textin on the phone
Ben J. hit it rough, So I did it was good and I quickly got dressed she was like where you goin
There's another girl next she screamed out loud Ben J.(your jerk!)
And I had nothing to say but sorry that it hurts


Wahhh, Wahhh, Wah Wah Wah..(your a jerk)
Why you trippin I aint even do nutin'(your a jerk)
Im a jerk, you aint neva lie
But aye do me a favor call me jerk one more time(your a jerk!)
I know

You're a jerk!(I know) [x7]

Jerk jerk jerk(jerkin) [x15]
 
use somebody
abracadabra
the joker
swingtown
take the money and run
jungle love
 
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