Back on the dog front, I left one out:
I left out a Dachsie,,,, Shotzie,,, and I got confused ,,, ok,, get confused as to what are German and what are Yiddish words.
By the way,,, am I the only one who has had a problem with the word, "sustainable"?
When I first came across it in a menu, as in, "Today's sustainable fish" I thought it was an unusual way to market an entree; meaning,,, It's not great, but it will hold you until your next meal at least. I think I might have even mentioned to Smidgy that when I go out to dinner,,, I'd like to think I'm paying for more than just something to sustain me until I eat breakfast".
And she never corrected me.
Really, it's a word that pops up everywhere now, and coming to a menu near you.
So, does sustainable mean they feed themselves,, pay for their own coral lodging and at a certain age all turn themselves in be filleted and deep fried?
On another front:
Really, wouldn't you just love to remove the bindings from all the lobsters in the tanks at Red Lobster?
And see about 30 of them sneak into the dining room, both barrels armed and ready,,, Pinchers locked and loaded!
"Now, where are those achilles tendons I keep hearing about?"
Back on the sutsainable part:
Admit it, you don't know either!
Although,, we do have a sustainable coffee table,,,
no matter what you put on it,,, or spill on it,,, you won't get it out!
What was I talking about?
No, not squirrels,,,, oh
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Sunday evening of our arrival day, we both got to take parts in a classic war movie, The Longest Night, She got the John Wayne role and I ended up with the Red Buttons role, hanging from a church steeple by my parachute while the Krauts practice their target shooting at me.
Whenever I got close to falling asleep, she would fire off a few rounds of "snorts" that would wake me back up again
We both should have slept like rocks after not sleeping the night before, but with my back really seizsing back up, along with still being all wound up from the flight/check in/ basic anxiety self induced with the TSA, I didn't stand a chance of a restful sleep.
I also now had one more problem keeping me awake;
no disrespect intended, but I'm now sharing a room with Peter Pottamus, who would occasionally let loose with a "Hippo Holler"!
She couldn't help it, but whatever it is she caught, has seemed as if it's settling in her chest. She is also now sharing the same vocal chords with a Tyranosaurus Rex.
Yes,, the very same Tyranosaurus Rex that was in Jurasick Park, the original,,,and had staring role with his voice being the only effect to this day to travel entirely through all 48 speakers at the Cineplex as he decided a guy sitting on the pot with a Bathroom Reader in his hands,, was a good midnight snack.
Needless to say, it was loud in the room,,she turned the radio on and set it for inbetween stations, white noise she called it.
I called it "noise noise".
"zzzzzhhzzzzzzzzdddzzzzzzzszzszsszszszs bz ORLANDO fzzzbzbzbzbbzzazbbzzsssszs"
Every once iin a while, it would lock just enough on the nearest station for it to blurt out one word,,,which would scare the crap out of me, before it returned to it's "white noise" status.
Anyway,,, believe you me,,,, believe me you? With me moanin' and a groanin',, and her blortin' and a snortin',,,it sounded like TB ward's 20th reunion! Or, a behind the stage scene from a Jerry Springer show.
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Monday Morning, April 30
The Hobbling Dead woke up before the Coughing Dead, and I had tried to lay out my stuffage the night before.
She set up the Coffee maker,,, which is now a single cup type brewer,,, with two sides,,, all I had to do was punch the buttons to start it.
That's what she told me,,,, "All you have to do is punch the buttons to start it,, they are both at the top."
See? I didn't lie.
I was trying to be so quiet,,, like I usually try to do,,,,but I could n't find the buttons . It's still really dark in here,,, I don't want to turn on a light or open drapes yet, so now I'm just running my hands all over the damn thing,, pressing, prodding, kneading.
Finally,,, a light came on!
Oh Joy!
I tried to repoeat the same maneuver on the other side,,,, BINGO!
Within 3 minutes,, all my attempts at quiet went overboard, when this little coffe maker tried to imitate the audio part of the giant volcano, "Krakatoa" exploding in Malaysia.
I didn't know whether to put cream and sugar in my cup,, or evacuate the resort.
I chose to evacuate,,, heh,,, as they say in hospitaleze.
I retreated into the cordoned off area by the vanity, slowllly, slowly, closing the sliding, heavy, wooden, doors.
WHAM!
Did you know it's true?
An object in motion, STAYS in motion?
ONce you got these babies moving,,, they wanted to KEEP moving. But I'm not quite sure how they were able to Bam,,, they stopped short from completeing the closed circuit by about an eighth of an inch,,, that was the remaining gap for light to shine through into Smidgy's eyes. I considered getting the caulking gun and filling in the gap,,, but that meant resigning myself to spending the rest of the trip in the vanity area,,,, and I know, sooner or later she's gonna want to use the bathroom.
After I'm done,,, I think I have everything I need to go to the store and then transfer to the main pool,,, where I will meet her,,,, whenever.
I head on out to Panchitos,,, the general store to pick up the major private items I need.
(why do I have this feeling of Dejavu?)
( and they won't get it here, either)
Down to the bridge I walked,,, and slowly, across it to El Centro. I did not pass a single person,,I did not pass go, but I would have taken a ride on the Reading if I had seen it, but I WAS passed by everybody else,,, including the octagenarian with a prothesis on one leg,,, and missing the other one totally.
Boy,,, was she good on the crutches!
I would have loved to see how she dealt with Boardwalk and Park Place.
But, I needn't have rushed,,,, Panchitos didn't open until 8, got 15 minutes to kill.
You see, that, right up there was a little joke,,, no, not a sligh thapper, just a little joke. Really,, I even looked it up, I googled it,,, said it's a little joke,,,ok OK,,, I'll get rid of it later,,,geesh.
I walked down to Pepper Market,,, they were busy,,, but not packed for the buffet there.
I peaked into RiK's Cafe,,,,,, Oh MY GOD,,,, it's nuts in this little room,,, the line was out the corridor,,,,,for basically the bounty platter breakfast you get at all the food courts in the morning. But just even looking at that pandemonium inside there made me lose an appetite,,, if I would have had one,,, that is.
I ended up out front,, waiting for the strore to open,, I'd love to get you pictures that I may have taken from there,,, but I don't dare deviate from the main page right now,,, puter hates me again.
They opened the steel bars for Panchitos,,, after a charades routine with a cast member who didn't speak English OR GERMAN,,,I finally got a newspaper and slapped a buck ten down on the counter and started walking away.
"Oh sir,,,,"
"No,,, please,,, keep the change." I tried to head off at the pass.
"Oh sir,,, You,,,"
'sigh,,, "Really,, just keep the change,, I don't want the hange,, I HATE pennies." I shot back again, turning back around for what I hoped was the last time. I didn't quiter give the glare,, but it was close. Close enough to where they should know not to bother me again for a couple of pennies.
"Sir,, really,,, you ,,,,"
"WHAT?" I was done playing around, I don't need this today, and I turned and glared at the woman.
"Youstillneedtopayus25centsmore." she blurted out.
I could feel my face turning red as I leaned over and read the price on the newspaper,,,, yep,,,,they raised it a quarter since we were last here in September.
Nebo was an idiot!
Better yet,, Nebo was King of the Idiots!
My stupidity reached full bloom on my face,, even the tan couldn't hide,,, and i tried to give them an extra 50 to forget the whole thing.
No chance.
This is the first day there,, I can picture the rest of the trip from now on,,,
"Hello Mr. Idiot,, need a paper today?"
"Good morning Mr. Idiot,,,don't forget,,, sun block works best if applied directly in your eyes to avoid bright yellow poisening."
Every morning from that point on, even if I didn't need a paper I would make a point to go in and apologize,,, even if it was somebody different,,,I'd go in and apologize anyway.
Even if i didn't know them,,, I'd apologize,,, in military speak,, I believe they would call this carpet bombing.
On my way now to the Dig Site, I realize I am missing a very necessary article for me this morning,,, my sunglasses.
I have been warned that with all my eye problems,,,, concrete,, sunny,,,blue pool water, bright sunny skies,,,,no Nebo,,, it's time to protect what's left of the pitiful state your eyes are in.
"But, but, but,,,, you don't understand! My sunglasses are back in the room,,,, you know,,,, "The Dragons' Den?"
There's no way I can get in and out without disturbing,,, "she who must not be".
I stood there weighing my options,,,
This was a major ordeal,,,, picture George Bailey again,, sitting there with tears rolling down his face, clutching his hands to his chin as he thinks, and thinks,, what he should do. ,,,,weighing the options,,,, possible blindness,,, Diane's Rath,,,, possible blindness,,,,,ok,,, this time we'll get it right,,, Diane's Wrath!
I chose the lesser of two evils..
ha ha,,, you still don't know which one that is, do you? ha ha,,,oooooh,,, shoot,,, that's going to get me in trouble, isn't it?
I knew just where they were,,,Behind the drapes so you could see them from the outside,, but not the inside. , I put down everything outside the door,,,slowly,,,, slowly ,,, slid out the "do not disturb" red "stick in the slot" sign,,,,and slowly, quietly, slid in my room card.
We are going to take a short break fright here so I can go and make myself a drink,,,I'm so nervous,,, even I don't know how this is going to turn out.
My sunglasses are just around the corner,,,on the window sill but behind the still closed drape.
I have no misconceptions on what will wake Her Heiniess, and that is ANYTHING.
MOLECULES COLLIDING IN MID AIR will wake Smidgy.
And don't even get me started about all the buzzing around the electrons make annoying the protons and neutrons.
Even if the latch, hinges, and door frame are completely soaked in oil and silent,,,,and even if there was absolutely NO light whatsoever entering the room when the door opened,,, it would still wake her up.
And it did!
I have no proof yet,,, but I'm becoming more and more a fan of the theory that she can ascertain the difference in atmospheric pressure in a room when you open the door.
Tha't s the best I can explain it.
Yeah,,, and something else didn't help,,, no,,, didin't help a single WHIT.
I slid my room key card in slowly, quietly,,,, pulled it back out,,
I turned the door handle,, it opened flawlessly.
Opening the door just enough to squeeze most of my body sideways inside, trying not to let in more light than necessary,, and keeping one foot still as a door jam,,or is it a preserve,,, well, it's preserve if it keeps me from becoming jelly,,,oh,,, squirrel! , I tried to reach,,,, grope,,I can do this,,,, YES,,,,THERE IT IS,,, grabbed the sunglasses,,,,
AS the door flung open next to our door and 3 kids ran out screaming.
"gwababhahahgwabahahahgobble boggle DISney!gorbal hhey."
I jumped,,, Diane jumped,,, I grabbed my sunglasses and I could tell that at first it's going to seem to her that I was the one making all this noise,,, since I am the one caught inside.
Then I realized,,, it didn't matter,, either way I was dead meat,, for I was still the one that opened the door just in time for the "Screaming Dead" to make their appearance.
She started to say something, and I was sympathetic,,, I knew she still didn't feel well, I listened to her all night, THE LONGEST NIGHT, so I threw the Orlando Sentinel on the bed to slow her down,, and I ran like a thief!
Just as the door closed,, I could still hear the radio,,,
BSBSBbbgfbfsdbsbbORLANDObbsbsbsahs
figures
At the pool, all the chairs and loungers were still all covered in dew, no, not Mountain Dew,, Florida Dew,, that has no caffeine...., the ones in the sun were drying out quickly though,,, and after grabbing a couple towels,, I used one just as a drying agent,,, soon I had set up a table with two chairs and two loungers next to it,,,the time is almost 8:30.
Celsius.
I'm always trying to keep you Canadiens in mind.
( I don't know,, you figure it out!)
And yes,, I've been waiting for this moment,,,just the walk to El Centro and Beyond has my back already screaming,,,, and I went to where I KNEW there was a drinking fountain.
Ok,, stop right there,,, gonna head you off at the pass,,, yes,, I know I have my now chilling out coffee in my mug with me,,,but no,,,, that's not part of the routine, here.
On the second tuesday after Labor Day in 2005, we stayed here at Coronado Springs for the first time,,it was very memorable,, first time at CS,, first time we flew down,, first time on Dining Plan, which was free,,, and on that very morning,,, I walked from our room in Casita's building 5 to the DIG SITE,,,and on arrival with not a single person in sight,,,, I also took a few painkillers back then,,, and enjoyed the most blissfull 30 minutes ever spent at a Disney resort, so now I"m trying to reproduce it.
Not quite the same,,, but still very nice.
I went and stuck my foot in the hot tub,,,,, yep,,, it's hot all right,,, then I found the button to turn on the agitator and the tub came alive.
And with a vengeance!
The bubbles started,, the waves increased, soon it was a frothing mass of undercurrent deranged FOAM!
The pills were kicking in at that time,,,, and when the tub started up, I stood back and said with my arms out to it,,,"IT's Alive!"
Thankfully, there was nobody there to see it.
Gee,, I hope there wasn't! Na,,got the place to myself,
"Mine, all mine! MBWAHAHAHAHHAAA." I yelled, after one more quick look around.
As I eased my self down the stairs into the currents that I hoped would soon bring me even more relief to my back, a voice from under the rock next to the lounger where I just left my clip clops told me " It still might be another 15 minutes or so till it's totally up to max heat."
WOW,,, I am not fairing well with the native wildlife here at Coronado Springs Resort at all this morning!
At least he didn't refer to me as King of the Idiots.
Maybe he hadn't gotten the memo yet, it's only been an hour.
Even worse though,,,, the jets that forced the water into the hot tub really worked.
I tried to settle down in front of them to get it positioned right on my lower back,,,
and in 5 seconds,,, I was almost naked! It just about ripped my suit right off. If you did hold onto your suit,,, then it just shot you over to the other side of the tub.
What I really needed was a harness to keep in place,,, that,,, or this to be located in a blind nudist colony.
Hmm, what a strange concept,,, a blind nudist colony.
Honest,,, never considered that before,, these things happen when typing,,, or,,, strip poker with blind people.
Sounds like an effort in futility.
Wait,,,, unless you can use Braille!
There,, I knew there had to be a silver lining,,,
Do you get the feeling I have another eye appointment coming up?
Ten to one I'm going to be getting another shot, too.
Whence I got out,, I took a couple pics before it got peopley out:
It was very nice lying back in my lounger.
I am also only a couple chapters into the third Hunger Games Book, MockingJay, and really looking forward to it.
No,, I hate that it's a hard cover,,, I like being able to fold a book back,,, much to Diane's dismay,,,, but now way am I stopping now, I have to finish the saga.
I have to admit,,,, I don't think I've ever read a book ,,, or book series,,, where the protagonist was so unlikable,,, but that didn't stop me from coming back for more. But I did not care how stupid I looked sitting by the pool reading this, Hey,, if I can read 'Come Out Tonight" in public,,, I can read anything in public.
And laura,,, I'm willing to bet that Come out tonight will blow away your Fifty Shades of Grey,,, or whatever it is,, in the sleasze department.
Ponzi,,,, opinions?
Smidgy joined us about ten,, which is when they did the official turn on the water for the pyramid and the slide and pool squirters,,,not to be confused with the 4 year old who by the look on his face, considered himself to be the official pool squirter.
At 11 oclock,,,, Siesta's opened,,,, we now have alcohol and food and pop for our mugs at our fingertips,,, so to speak..
This is when Smidgy got her own starring role in a sitcom with the locals.
night night,,,
Boy, I;m doomed,,, I just spent countless hours knocking off what,,, 3 actual hours from the trip? I can turn cooking a 3 minute egg into a 45 minute read.
.
, soak it up!
THANK YOU!
