Cruise Drama- HELP!

[TXAKDisneyFan]

I guess I don't understand how skipping a wedding is ever 'not an option.' What if you can't afford to go (can't swing the flight/car/gas money, hotel, attire, etc), can't get time off work/school, get sick, or have previous plans? No one sends out invitations expecting every single invitee to accept. IMHO, people make WAY too big of a deal about weddings. A wedding is a few hours; it's the marriage that counts.

It also seems like if the OP is particularly close to this cousin, then the cousin would probably already be aware of their travel plans. The people I'm close to know when I'm planning on going somewhere (I discuss plans with them, fill them in on things going on in my life,...). So from that perspective, they're either not all THAT close, or the cousin disregarded these travel plans when planning their wedding.

 

[avgsuperheroine]

I'd also skip the wedding. My cousins and I grew up in the same grade/school together and we invited each other to be bridesmaids but we never made it to each others' weddings. Just didn't work out. If I'm this far in to my planning I wouldn't change my plans. But, I wouldn't travel with additional relative families either.

 

[JW9DVC]

Skip the wedding. Food and wine festival and cruise. Just send a nice gift. JW

 

[bumbershoot]

But then again, we are a very close knit family.

I doubt then that anyone is 9 hours away, yes? And perhaps anyone planning a wedding would make sure their beloved family isn't making family-trip plans before setting a date?

Who schedules a wedding over a holiday weekend anyways(Memorial Day)?

So many people. They think that it will be convenient! Extra time to travel, an extra day off! yay! Joy!

No. People have PLANS for those days, a year out. Labor and Memorial Day especially; people have yearly picnics, they have yearly camping trips, they have traditions that they wait for every year. And now those things are changed for a wedding.

And then a year later the married couple realizes that their anniversary falls during *expensive* times of year. My Mem Day friends have only ever traveled for their anniversary when they want to go *out* of the country because it's so expensive.

And since I have a May 26 baby, where every few years his b'day hits the holiday weekend, I know very well how expensive it is to get away for his day. UGH.

I also saw that the "skip the wedding" was not an option, so IMO, the suggestion is not helpful.

Sometimes some people just want permission, or to know that many other people have a different opinion. It's OK for people to give their opinions. Either the OP's family will stick to their guns OR they will realize that perhaps the "no skipping ever!" rule isn't something shared by everyone and they will rethink it.

 

[Hundredacre]

If someone is going to be angry with you for skipping their wedding, they are just looking for a reason to be angry with you and will eventually come up with one anyway.

 

[MakiraMarlena]

if you must go to the wedding, drop the land and do the cruise.

Memorial Day is expensive but Labor Day usually isn't, at least not for Disney trips (born near Labor Day)

 

[ahain]

OP, you say, "Missing the wedding is not an option...." WHY NOT??? To me, ANY wedding that requires 9 hours of travel HAS to be optional. There's no way that any reasonable bride/groom would expect any but the closest of relatives to travel that far and incur that much expense (3 days of vacation, 2 days travel expenses, hotel, food, etc.) to attend a couple of hours of ceremony/celebration.

If truly your family agrees that you MUST attend the wedding, them I'm with many PPs in suggesting skip the parks & take the cruise.

 

[Lisann]

Seems like the wedding plans came out AFTER you had made all the plans and expectations for the cruise, parks, etc.

Personally speaking, would not expect my cousin to give up such plans just to watch me walk down an aisle.

Enjoy the plans you've made. If you can, visit the couple afterwards, share each other's joy (don't forget a wedding gift) and then return home.

Yep, that. Absolutely.

 

[diznymom]

The wedding you will have to work out w/ your family.

IMHO, with a young baby in tow, I would skip the parks and just do the cruise. Especially if you go to the wedding also.

 

[princessekrus]

Just an alternate thought, since you mentioned that expense was one of your mom's possible concerns...

If you (or at least your parents), HAVE to go to the wedding (family pressure is nothing to sneeze at... I had to attend a cousins wedding that was last minute/inconvenient and my parents don't usually make me do stuff like that) - maybe there is another solution.

You said you were planning on driving to the 9 hour wedding.... what about renting a car, driving to the wedding, and then fly from the wedding site directly to the port city? Then when you fly home, you still only doing 2 flights total (to the cruise and back), and will save the time of the extra flight. I still would recommend dropping the park days on the front end of the trip - too much rush. But that might help with the expense of not having to take 2 round-trip flights.

And if you and maybe your sister can get permission to skip the wedding, but you still want your parents to go, this could be an option for them, and your families go as planned?

Wishing you the best of luck navigating the family dynamics!

 

[Nettester]

I'd skip the wedding. You and your family have been planning this and had it booked on your calendar long before this wedding date was announced. Either you aren't close enough to this cousin for her to know about your big vacation plans, or she didn't care about wreaking havoc on your plans. Your trip was planned first and she should understand you all not going. If it's that important to her that you attend, let HER change her date further into the future. Otherwise, send a nice card and gift, and go enjoy your vacation. Hopefully those going with you will do the same.

 

[Quellman]

Since you have to go to the wedding it seems, I'd drop the cruise. You'll spend more time as a family doing fun family things. You'll have a great photos with the baby nephew and enjoy Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party fireworks, Food and Wine festival. This is of course unless you just need the time as a true relax vacation.

 

[delilah]

I'd skip the wedding. The same thing happened to us this past June. I had a long awaited concierge reservation at AKV. I think I made the reservation before the couple even got engaged. They were understanding--their honeymoon was at Disney. We just sent a nice gift. Then the same family had a second wedding in November. It was the same weekend as our Ohio State University football tickets. No way we are missing out on our one annual football game for a wedding! And that was a three-hour drive from here. Once again, they got a nice gift.

 

[CM Dad]

Convince your cousin to switch venues and have a Disney Fairy Tale wedding on the ship

 

[cijay]

Being as you said skipping the wedding isn't an option (wouldn't happen in my family, can't imagine the circumstances of a couple expecting you to change your plans to suit their day of glory) I won't say to skip the wedding. Skip the land part, do the cruise.

 

[littleblackegg]

I would also skip the wedding (unless this cousin is as close as a sister). Coordinating family celebrations and events is bound to be complicated, and people WILL miss events due to schedule conflicts. This is hardly a reflection of their character! I would send a very nice check along with a handwritten note. I am fascinated to know why missing a wedding is not an option. Is somebody terribly ill? I've know lots of couples who arrange to have grandma and/or grandpa present even when they were in hospice or a SNF. If there is some respected family member who is going to attend who you need to see? You can definitely skip the wedding if you handle it with dignity and respect for the couple. The wedding is not until October, so they may change some of their plans anyways. As for the order of the vacation days, I would start with the parks, then move on to the cruise-but that is just me.

 

[littleblackegg]

If someone is going to be angry with you for skipping their wedding, they are just looking for a reason to be angry with you and will eventually come up with one anyway.

Word to that!

 

[andyman8]

I understand family circumstances can be tough, and because I don't know yours, I don't know how mutable they are. If you are adamant about doing land/sea, then I'd suggest you cruise then be the first off the ship Fri. morning and head over to WDW and get the last flight possible from MCO on Sunday (even if that means making a connection). Get a 3-day ticket and enjoy three solid park days. Of course, I'm also not sure why your sister would be so attached to that particular week. My understanding is that almost all of Disney Dream 4-nighters go to the same places and the Halloween activities run for several sailings, so perhaps you can discuss it with her and present her with the dilemma and your options.

 

[Danni75]

I would try to go to the wedding unless major payments were already made. I know it is far, inconvenient and so on but it is a very special event and you were invited.

People do plans, sometimes well ahead and if you had to organise a one in a lifetime event asking everyone about their plans you would do nothing.

Your cousin will probably be very touched you came - as long as you really feel happy to be there. If you are putting a face the whole time it is not worth it.

 

[Jennifer Scicchitano]

skip the wedding, if you already made your plans as a large family group, made payments etc- then the cousin is selfish if they get angry with you- you have your own life and can't be expected to drop all kinds of money and time on someone like that- can you tell i just dealt with a similar situation- lol- no harm no foul, they got over it.