Creepy Neighbor -- What to do? (long)

[Marseeya]

I've lived in this house since 2001. On one side of us lived a young couple (early 20s, maybe) with a baby. Our house is right up against the road, while their house sits farther back against this hillside. We share a 3-car parking area, which faces the front of their house. Our back porch is right next to where we park, and we have our grill set up there, plus that's where we let the dog out. We use that door the most.

Early on, there were a few occasions where I'd go out on the porch or pull into my parking space and my male neighbor would be standing naked in his bedroom window. DH and I joked that we'd have to buy them some curtains or something and we passed it off as a few embarrassing incidents.

After a while, he started getting braver and he would stand there in the window for longer periods (even dancing around ) and I realized it was no accident! I tried telling this to DH (D doesn't stand for "dear" at this point ) and he thought I was overreacting! "Just ignore it," he'd say. Right! Easy for him to say when it never happened to him. It didn't happen all that often, maybe every couple of months. I seriously considered telling the guy's wife, but didn't want to cause any trouble. I am so non-confrontational. Finally, there was this one time that DH and I drove somewhere in separate cars and he was about a block behind me. When I pulled into the driveway, a few seconds later the guy flipped on his light and started putting on a show in his window (by this point, the shows were kind of graphic ). DH pulled up just as that happened, so he didn't have any choice but to believe me then!

Eventually, the guy and the wife divorced and neither one of them lived in the house for quite a while. The guy did come back, but he wasn't doing that anymore, so I quit worrying about it. He's hardly ever at his house except for a few hours at a time.

This morning when I came home from taking the kids to school, there he was in all his glory, doing his little dance. (sorry, the banana is just too perfect for the naked pee-pee dance)

Why on earth would this guy keep doing this??? Seriously, he's young and halfway decent looking. I'm overweight and in my late 30s, and trust me, I've SEEN my share of pee-pees. (there he goes again) Does he think he's shocking my delicate sensibilities? I have half a mind to write up some score cards and give him a 2 out of 10 or something. Or hold up my pinky finger. Geez.

I've asked around to the other neighbors (even the hottie teens who live on the other side of him) and he doesn't do this to them.

Is there anything I can do that doesn't involve actually confronting him or acknowledging that he's bothering me?

 

[ilovedale3]

First of all, the dancing bananas = pee pee dance is too funny!

It sounds like this guy is like the "flashers" of yesteryears. He does it for shock value. I'll bet if you do hold up a rating card or laugh hysterically and point to the aforementioned pee pee , he would stop.

My mom was encountered by a flasher many, many years ago when she worked in Atlanta (early 70's before I was even born). He just opened up his coat for her as she walking to work. She said that the whole thing was so sadly funny that she just cracked up laughing. Mr. Flasher closed his coat real quick and ran off.

 

[Rajah]

I'd go to the police on this one.

But I do have to about your scorecard idea!

 

[Tracey1974]

I'm sorry but I don't think I'll be able to look at the dancing banana the same way again!

 

[Marseeya]

First of all, the dancing bananas = pee pee dance is too funny!

It sounds like this guy is like the "flashers" of yesteryears. He does it for shock value. I'll bet if you do hold up a rating card or laugh hysterically and point to the aforementioned pee pee , he would stop.

My mom was encountered by a flasher many, many years ago when she worked in Atlanta (early 70's before I was even born). He just opened up his coat for her as she walking to work. She said that the whole thing was so sadly funny that she just cracked up laughing. Mr. Flasher closed his coat real quick and ran off.

I'd probably laugh at a random flasher too. But this guy... I've got to live next to the whacko!

I'd probably be braver if someone was with me, though.

 

[SRUAlmn]

Has he seen you see him??? I mean, is he getting some pleasure out of knowing that you see him, or is he just a weird little dancing boy?

Oh Mr. Banana! How can I ever look at you the same again?

 

[Jingle]

I'd probably get my camera out and go take a picture.

 

[imsorry]

You have children and you haven't notified the police yet?

I have an apartment, and one morning one of my neighbors decided he would take out the trash in his birthday suit. I called security immediately, and he never did it again. You must send a message to this perv that it is not acceptable or funny in any way. Do not make eye contact, or "score" him - he will think you are playing along.

Report this now!

 

[chrissyk]

OMG, I can't stop laughing What a weirdo!

You do need to go to the police about it, though. Also, can you set up some sort of hidden camera to catch him in the act? He could end up doing that to a kid or something, and that would be really creepy.

 

[Horseshoes]

I would go to the police ASAP.

What if he starts doing that when your kids are outside?!?!?!?

 

[vacanut]

Oh my! I'm just wondering what rights the police have at this point. He's in his house.

 

[phillybeth]

Go to the police. This is a sex crime, and also harrassment. If he is doing it to you he is doing it to other people, trust me. Get this creep off the streets and registered as a sex offender before he starts doing it to little kids.

 

[phillybeth]

Oh my! I'm just wondering what rights the police have at this point. He's in his house.

It's still indecent exposure. If you can be observed from outside your home, then you are in the public view. And also, this is not some guy cleaning his house in the buff and being accidently observed. He is displaying himself intentionally.

 

[Rowena]

You have children and you haven't notified the police yet?

I have an apartment, and one morning one of my neighbors decided he would take out the trash in his birthday suit. I called security immediately, and he never did it again. You must send a message to this perv that it is not acceptable or funny in any way. Do not make eye contact, or "score" him - he will think you are playing along.

Report this now!

What she said.

 

[lucky978]

I, too, would go to the police. He's harassing you.

 

[vettechick99]

 

[Marseeya]

Would I need proof to go to the police?

The one thing I worry about in acknowledging it at all is that he might get mad and do something worse!

 

[chrissyk]

Would I need proof to go to the police?

The one thing I worry about in acknowledging it at all is that he might get mad and do something worse!

It doesn't sound like proof would be that tough to come by if you needed it. Can you just keep a digital camera or video camera handy? You could get a couple of shots of him when he starts his "dance" and then hop right back into the car and go to the police station.

 

[halestrm]

Here is your law, hope it helps!

PENNSYLVANIA CONSOLIDATED STATUTES
TITLE 18. CRIMES AND OFFENSES
PART II. DEFINITION OF SPECIFIC OFFENSES

CHAPTER 31. SEXUAL OFFENSES
Subchapter B. Definition Of Offenses

§ 3127. Indecent exposure.

(a) Offense defined.--A person commits indecent exposure if that person exposes his or her genitals in any public place or in any place where there are present other persons under circumstances in which he or she knows or should know that this conduct is likely to offend, affront or alarm.

(b) Grading.--If the person knows or should have known that any of the persons present are less than 16 years of age, indecent exposure under subsection (a) is a misdemeanor of the first degree. Otherwise, indecent exposure under subsection (a) is a misdemeanor of the second degree.

[NAC NOTE: Prior to 1995, section 3127 (above) and section 5901 (below) were distinguished from one another by the fact thatformer definition of indecent exposure (§ 3127) required that the "indecent" act be for the purpose of sexual gratification andthat it be performed in the presence of a person other than the spouse of the "actor". Despite remaining differences, a change to the definition of the offense in § 3127 has made the two offenses similar in the minds of some law enforcement agents. Today, mere nudity is more commonly charged under § 3127.]


CHAPTER 59. PUBLIC INDECENCY

§ 5901. Open lewdness.

A person commits a misdemeanor of the third degree if he does any lewd act which he knows is likely to be observed by others who would be affronted or alarmed.

[NAC NOTE: Open lewdness is a third degree misdemeanor.]

[NAC NOTE: PENALTIES

A crime is a misdemeanor of the first degree if it is so designated in this title or if a person convicted thereof may be sentenced to a term of imprisonment, the maximum of which is not more than five years.

A crime is a misdemeanor of the second degree if it is so designated in this title or if a person convicted thereof may be sentenced to a term of imprisonment, the maximum of which is not more than two years.

A crime is a misdemeanor of the third degree if it is so designated in this title or if a person convicted thereof may be sentenced to a term of imprisonment, the maximum of which is not more than one year.

A crime declared to be a misdemeanor, without specification of degree, is of the third degree.

 

[Marseeya]

It doesn't sound like proof would be that tough to come by if you needed it. Can you just keep a digital camera or video camera handy? You could get a couple of shots of him when he starts his "dance" and then hop right back into the car and go to the police station.

I'd pretty much have to keep my digital camera in the car at all times because he only does it every few months or less. When I bought a camera phone, I aimed it at his house just out of curiosity to see if I could catch him in the act but the camera isn't strong enough.

(For those who brought up the kids, this has never happened when they were around and I wouldn't even be joking about it if it had.)