house_of_princesses
<font color=FF66FF>Has a multitude of DIS friends
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2003
- Messages
- 1,532
It was a year ago today that my DH died in his sleep of a heart attack. For those of you who don't know us, I have four dd's (hence the name House of Princesses), ages 11, 10, 6 & 3.
It has been a tumultuous year, to say the least. A year of great transition, sadness and joy.
For the first time in their lives, I put the two eldest in school. They were there for the last two months of the school year. They loved it. I hated it. (But that's another story.)
I went to work for my DH's companies in January. Only for 5 hours a day, I told everyone. I am astounded at how much those 5 hours eat of my children's lives, not to mention my own. Remember, I had been homeschooling. To go to work, send two to school, leave two w/ a sitter. A very big change.
But those changes are tolerable, liveable. It's the lonliness, the missing sound of laughter, the waiting for the phone call that hurts. He, as are so many Dads, was my balance. I am the steadfast, he was the spur of the moment.
My two youngest speak of heart disease as if they've gone to med school. They all concern themselves with my stress levels. Heaven is very real and present at our dinner table. Death is a topic of conversation for anyone who can listen to two little people share their grief in their little people way.
My parents ache for me. Their ache is palpable. And I'd rather ignore it, but I can't.
The joys are immeasurable, however. Dd11 is at golf camp, a passion given her by her daddy. Dd10 is beaming, knowing how proud her daddy would be knowing she rode Space Mountain for the first time this past June. Dd6 has her daddy's love of the water, jumping off the dive board, riding the wave runner (w/ an adult), hopping into the tube like nobodies business! And dd3 has his charisma, a love for people that rivals anyone.
We've travelled to visit family or with friends. I'm learning to drive our boat, going out for day rides. Our home is always open to friends and family, and they bless us abundantly with their love.
Life is a journey. No one promised an easy ride. But with the help and love of family and friends, we make the journey as joyous or miserable as we choose.
I choose joy, in honor of my DH. He lived that way. And so will we.
I know this is nothing you haven't heard, but thanks for being there. 'Listening' to me, reading my thoughts. The DIS is a great place to add to the joy!
Pax,
Vicki
It has been a tumultuous year, to say the least. A year of great transition, sadness and joy.
For the first time in their lives, I put the two eldest in school. They were there for the last two months of the school year. They loved it. I hated it. (But that's another story.)
I went to work for my DH's companies in January. Only for 5 hours a day, I told everyone. I am astounded at how much those 5 hours eat of my children's lives, not to mention my own. Remember, I had been homeschooling. To go to work, send two to school, leave two w/ a sitter. A very big change.
But those changes are tolerable, liveable. It's the lonliness, the missing sound of laughter, the waiting for the phone call that hurts. He, as are so many Dads, was my balance. I am the steadfast, he was the spur of the moment.
My two youngest speak of heart disease as if they've gone to med school. They all concern themselves with my stress levels. Heaven is very real and present at our dinner table. Death is a topic of conversation for anyone who can listen to two little people share their grief in their little people way.
My parents ache for me. Their ache is palpable. And I'd rather ignore it, but I can't.
The joys are immeasurable, however. Dd11 is at golf camp, a passion given her by her daddy. Dd10 is beaming, knowing how proud her daddy would be knowing she rode Space Mountain for the first time this past June. Dd6 has her daddy's love of the water, jumping off the dive board, riding the wave runner (w/ an adult), hopping into the tube like nobodies business! And dd3 has his charisma, a love for people that rivals anyone.
We've travelled to visit family or with friends. I'm learning to drive our boat, going out for day rides. Our home is always open to friends and family, and they bless us abundantly with their love.
Life is a journey. No one promised an easy ride. But with the help and love of family and friends, we make the journey as joyous or miserable as we choose.
I choose joy, in honor of my DH. He lived that way. And so will we.
I know this is nothing you haven't heard, but thanks for being there. 'Listening' to me, reading my thoughts. The DIS is a great place to add to the joy!
Pax,
Vicki
I am sure your husband is incredibly proud of you for carrying on and raising your kids to the best of your ability- sounds like you are doing a super job. God bless you and yours.
