It really is difficult to know what to say during a time like this.
But I will say like some of the other posters, I too have at some point had a fear of being in your shoes, but having read your posts, suffice it to say that you are probably teaching most of us that women/moms can stand strong, that it is possible to lift your head up, and for the sake of our children, go on with our lives.
I truly wish you luck and prayers and lots of PD.
But I think a true survivor you are.