Cousin from Japan...

[Serena]

Hey Rick, I know you don't know me well, but if you can do this, I'd like the same tour. And hey, I speak english, and I'd settle for half.

You are a very sweet son for helping your moma

 

[LuvN~Travel]

You don't suppose they make Heelies with really big boosters do you? 'Cause Rick you really are going to need some!
Nothing like a clueless relative.
Kim

 

[Oh Kay!]

Having had some experience with the relations from Far East, this girl sounds like a romantic with a literary bent, or at least has a pretension of being a romantic with a literaty bent--jazz club and the Village coffee shop give off that vibe. The relations I had experiences with also really didn't care about the actual experiences so much as collecting a list of things to boast about when they get home.

With that in mind, you can try to follow her list or you can offer her an alternative, ie show her someplaces her friends didn't visit, so your cousin can show off a bit when she goes home. Keeping with romantic/literary vibe, how about a ballet or tea at some nice hotel or Frick instead of MOMA?

By the way, the thing with the relatives you've never met is that there are more of them, in which case if your cousin has a blast, she will tell the family that they must visit Cousin Rick when they go to NYC. Keep that in mind as you make the plan.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

Having had some experience with the relations from Far East, this girl sounds like a romantic with a literary bent, or at least has a pretension of being a romantic with a literaty bent--jazz club and the Village coffee shop give off that vibe. The relations I had experiences with also really didn't care about the actual experiences so much as collecting a list of things to boast about when they get home.

With that in mind, you can try to follow her list or you can offer her an alternative, ie show her someplaces her friends didn't visit, so your cousin can show off a bit when she goes home. Keeping with romantic/literary vibe, how about a ballet or tea at some nice hotel or Frick instead of MOMA?

By the way, the thing with the relatives you've never met is that there are more of them, in which case if your cousin has a blast, she will tell the family that they must visit Cousin Rick when they go to NYC. Keep that in mind as you make the plan.

I suggest the Met rather than the Frick (a few pictures of her standing on the steps and a few of the Egyptian stuff and her friend back home will swoon) but otherwise love the idea of showing her 'other stuff'. A bit of Central Park (there's no place in a major Japanese city with that much green) might do as well.

 

[wallyb]

"ticked off Ricky look?" - What's that look like?

How about Blossom Dearie at Sklight Room?

 

[Fan2CSkr]

Yup, she's Japanese. And she doesn't speak one lick of English. And I don't know much Japanese beyond asking for the time, how much something is and where is the bathroom.

I'd email her but... well... see above.

So this is easier than ya thought! See that building over there? That's the empire state building, see this store? That's what we call 5th avenue. Grab a steak at sizzler and there ya have the best steak dinner in town!

All kidding aside since winter arrived today maybe we'll have some inclement weather upon her arrival? I cant wait to hear what you really are able to do and see while you play tour-guide. Have fun and good luck, your Mom is very lucky.

 

[lulu71]

That "have coffee in the Village" sounds like she's watched too many episodes of Friends.

 

[Oh Kay!]

That "have coffee in the Village" sounds like she's watched too many episodes of Friends.

Hmmm. Usually, the people who wanted to go to a coffee house in the Village were those who had read how famous writers used to hang out there. That's why I thought she has a literaty bent. But may be not.

 

[jipsy]

You'd be much better off giving her a map and cab fare. I have seen those japanese tourists myself - she can pull it off in that short of time on her own with her camera

 

[Evil Genius]

Rick as all ways you've made me laugh!! When dh and I come to NYC can you give us this grand tour??

 

[pearlieq]

That "have coffee in the Village" sounds like she's watched too many episodes of Friends.

That was my first thought too. I'm thinking a young woman in Japan has seen many an episode and probably got a romantic vision of hanging out at Central Perk.

It's really kind of sweet. I hope you have a great time!

 

[LuvDuke]

So Mom just called and reminded me that she and a cousin from Japan (never met her) will be coming to NYC next week for a couple of days. Good son that I am, I'm taking off time from work to be happy host. Now get this! Mom just gave me the list of what this girl wants to do when she's in town:

1. Visit Empire State Building
2. Shop in Chinatown
3. Go to a fancy "New York style" steak house
4. Visit East Village
5. Go to a jazz club
6. See Blueman Group
7. Shop along 5th Avenue
8. Visit Ground Zero
9. See Statue of Liberty
10. See Central Park
11. Get coffee in Greenwich Village (NO idea what that's about)
12. Take a boat tour of Manhattan
13. Go to Brooklyn
14. Go to Rockefeller Center
15. Tour Radio City Music Hall
16. And if we have time, see a Broadway show



After Mom gave me the list, I was stunned into silence. The kicker was that this chick expects Mom and I to pay for everything, not to mention that fact that she apparently has control of the time/space continuum becuase she wants to do all of the above in two evenings and one full day.

I asked Mom what in the world gave this girl the idea that all of the above was even remotely possible in the time she had. Apparently her friend was in town last y ear and did all of that and more so she expects to do the same. Her friend, by the way, was here for two weeks.

Pretty much told Mom that she can confidently tell this kid that I'm going to happily pick a few of the things on the list she graciously provided and will gladly take her around in the time allowed. But I wasn't about to drive Mom and I ragged doing so.

I totally understand that this girl has never been here, but I suggested Mom tell her to do a little internet research so she can get an idea that what she wants to do and what she really will do are two totally separate things. Yeesh.

Nevertheless, I'll just smile and wave, smile and wave and be the happy go lucky son/tour guide! While Mom, of course, will just smile and wave and smack me on the back of the head should she see me get my "ticked off Ricky look" as she so aptly put it.

About request #11: she wants to visit a coffee house. The Village was famous for it's coffee houses where many folk singers or writers got started. It's like having a sfogliatelle on Mulberry Street.

 

[L107ANGEL]

About request #11: she wants to visit a coffee house. The Village was famous for it's coffee houses where many folk singers or writers got started. It's like having a sfogliatelle on Mulberry Street.

Whats that

 

[N&B'smom]

Oh! And I forgot MOMA! She wants to spend time at the Museum of Modern Art.

This is what I figure we'd do:

Pick them up at Amtrak at 1:30pm and take them to their hotel. Try my best to make sure the girl hasn't driven Mom out of her mind during the three hour train ride.

Hotel is in Time Square so give them a quick tour of the area, then walk over to 5th Avenue and set them loose shopping. Try my best to make sure Mom still has control of her wits through Purse/Shoe Therapy.

Carry Mom's bags, scoff at the girlie girl and make her carry her own dang stuff while I take them across town to Gallagher's for said, "fancy New York style steak house." Get Mom a Margarita and me a gigantic martini and keep 'em coming. Of course, insure sanity is still part of Mom's vocabulary.

Drop off their crap at the hotel after dinner, hop on the subway so I can scare the bejesus out of the girl in hopes of some reality treatment. Make sure Mom is still pleasantly buzzed from the margarita. Take them to the Blue Note for some jazz as she requested, in the hope that perhaps the music will act as Prozac and make her nod off, ditch her accordingly so Mom and I can go to a cabaret to tie one on. Margaritas and martinis.

Reality strikes me when I realize she hasn't passed out to the lull of some modern jazz, so I take them both through Greenwich Village to a coffee house for desert for chick, and LOTS of coffee for Mom. She has now apparently stopped loving margaritas and has also forgotten how to speak English.

Hop in a cab and take them back to their hotel, drop them off and I head home to sleep off my martini induced hang over.

That's the first night of planning. Thoughts?

I was just there with my hubby and kids for the first time after Christmas. We were only able to fit about 5 things in that we wanted to do. But it was still fun! I'm sure this girl will have a wonderful time even though there's no way she'll even see half the things on the list.

And for the record, I think you'd be a lot of fun to see NY with! She'll have a blast no matter what!

Shelby

 

[LuvDuke]

Whats that

Oh my God, you've never had that heaven-created pastry called a sfogliatelle? Friend, you've got to have one of these.

It's a Neapolitan specialty. Basically, it's very thin puff pastry filled with a ricotta cheese filling.

I always have a dozen on hand in the freezer to bake fresh. There are times when nothing but a sfogliatelle will do.

Here's photo of them.

http://www.capriflavors.com/sfog.php

This guy's really proud of his sfogliatelle.

Here's a recipe, that gives you an idea of what sfogliatelle are.

http://ciaoitalia.com/rc_recipe_view.php?recipeid=338

You'd be able to get them at any italian market or bakery.

Fair warning: They're addictive.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Oh my God, you've never had that heaven-created pastry called a sfogliatelle? Friend, you've got to have one of these.

It's a Neapolitan specialty. Basically, it's very thin puff pastry filled with a ricotta cheese filling.

I always have a dozen on hand in the freezer to bake fresh. There are times when nothing but a sfogliatelle will do.

Here's photo of them.

http://www.capriflavors.com/sfog.php

This guy's really proud of his sfogliatelle.

Here's a recipe, that gives you an idea of what sfogliatelle are.

http://ciaoitalia.com/rc_recipe_view.php?recipeid=338

You'd be able to get them at any italian market or bakery.

Fair warning: They're addictive.

Great now I'm hungry!

 

[Regina]

I don't see the problem. Start with the Empire State Building and from there point out Rockefeller Center, Central Park, Chinatown, Statue of Liberty, MOMA, Brooklyn (and for an added bonus, the rest of the boroughs) and, if you give me the time to be there, I'll walk by wearing a blue hood and you can tell her that she just saw the Blue woMan Group.

Sheesh, think outside the box a little.

 

[L107ANGEL]

I don't see the problem. Start with the Empire State Building and from there point out Rockefeller Center, Central Park, Chinatown, Statue of Liberty, MOMA, Brooklyn (and for an added bonus, the rest of the boroughs) and, if you give me the time to be there, I'll walk by wearing a blue hood and you can tell her that she just saw the Blue woMan Group.

Sheesh, think outside the box a little.

 

[RickinNYC]

For those that have requested my tour guide services, please be aware that said services do come with sporadic martini breaks sprinkled liberally throughout as needed. Thank you very much.

Now, on to my plans for Wacky Chick on Day 2: New York City w/ a Really Cranky 6'4" Gay Guy

I plan to swing by their hotel room and roust Mom from her margarita induced, too-much-jazz hangover. I will tell said Wacky Chick all of the fabulous plans for the day as follows: "So, you do know that doing all that stuff you wanted to do in one full day just aint' gonna happen, right? And if you think so, you are completely and totally out of your mind but Jimmy Crackcorn, I don't care!" All said in a super happy fun time voice 'cause she won't understand a word.

Actually, I wouldn't dream of saying any of the above because the other Japanese chick in the room, aka Mommie Dearest, DOES speak English and will crank up the Momzilla for the rest of the day and do constant back head slaps through the morning into the evening. She's 5' tall, I'm 6'4". How 71 year old woman is able to hop up and smack me while walking full tilt boogie down Fifth Avenue while clutching a purse and Sachs bag, I'll never know, but she's done it before. It's a constant source of amusement for Joe.

I take them both to breakfast, then for a stroll BY (not into, BY) Radio City for photo ops. Then a block over to Rockefeller Center with a side trip to a Japanese book store so Mom can pick up a massive, 50lb bag full of her murder mysteries. She's a pleasant lady, charming as all get out, full of life, loves to meet new people, is a Disney World fan, enjoys puppies and small babies, yet loves murder, mayhem and horrific death in literary form. Go figure. Anyway, more photo ops in Rockefeller then a stroll up Fifth Avenue.

I point out the Atlas Statue, St. Pat's Cathedral, World of Disney and Trump Tower. Then we swerve onto a side street for a couple of hours at the Museum of Modern Art, then over to 56th Street so Mom can have her noodle soup from a joint I also love but don't know the name of. Joe and I just call it "that place Mom loves with the noodles on.. um... 56th Street".

After lunch, keep strolling up 5th Avenue and point out FAO Schwartz then walk over to Central Park where we walk through the south end over to the subway. End up in Battery Park where I point out a statue that used to stand in the main plaza of the Trade Center. Designed by some Japanese artist so she HAS to love that, right? I point out Statue of Liberty and Staten Island then we move quick like a bunny up a few blocks so she can see Ground Zero.

Afterwards, we hop in a cab so she can see that the rumors are true and that the drivers really do speak little to no English, bark at the passengers, drive like lunatics, play bumpercar and then complain when you don't tell them quick enough which side you want to get out of. I always ask them for a receipt not because I need it but because I know I will get that HUGE disgruntled sigh that I love so much. Try it. It's amusing.

We hop out at Macy's just so she can say she saw it. I will explain that it's the largest and one of the oldest department stores in the country and they STILL have some of the original working wooden escalators. I personally don't understand why people like that bit of trivia but it tickles me to see the tourist version of "REALLY?" Heck, they may not care either and just might be humoring me, but it works. And it's a photo op.

A quick aside before you ask me why Japanese people always give the peace sign when having their photos taken. I do not know. I asked another cousin a few years back why this happened and he and his wife gave me blank stares. They didn't know either but tried to explain that it was a cultural thing. I already knew that, otherwise it would be so constant. My question is "WHY?" He told me to shut up in Japanese. That's a phrase I actually do know. Mom said it a lot when I was growing up and she was in the middle of something. That and "Will you two stop fighting," and "Wait until your father gets home."

Anyway, off to point out Empire State Building to which I know she'll want to go to the top, but at this point in the day, the line will be at least an hour long to get into (plotted purposefully on my part -- I know "Bad Rick" but it's MY tour). But it's a photo op that will grant Wacky Chick some more bragging rights.

By this time, it's getting on dinner so we head back to their hotel so they can drop off their loot. Mom will complain that her feet hurt and that she's an old woman and shouldn't be doing this kind of thing, all in English of course. Then she'll turn to the Wacky Chick and say something in Japanese, all bright and cheery, along the lines of "Aren't you enjoying yourself? This is SO exciting and I just can't wait to see what Ricky has planned next!!!" To which I'll call her a big fat liar (in English of course) and then bribe her with another margarita.

Not sure where we'll have dinner but it'll be in the vicinity of Times Square just so we can stroll through that seventh circle of hell afterwards. Because I'll have had a martini or four over whatever lovely meal we have selected, I'll then likely take them to the Toys R Us just so she can see the indoor ferris wheel and just so I can spend money on something that I won't understand why I bought after I've come out of my haze.

Then back to the hotel so Mom can take off her shoes, Wacky Chick can put away her bounty and I can sit and mull over the events of the day. Because they will be chattering away in Japanese, I'll smile and nod as usual. Occasionally Mom will gesticulate wildly at me and they'll both giggle, I'll start in on "What'dyousay? What'shappening? Quittalkingaboutme."

So I'll leave and head back to my apartment.

That's Day Two of my plans. Good times!

 

[RickinNYC]

I don't see the problem. Start with the Empire State Building and from there point out Rockefeller Center, Central Park, Chinatown, Statue of Liberty, MOMA, Brooklyn (and for an added bonus, the rest of the boroughs) and, if you give me the time to be there, I'll walk by wearing a blue hood and you can tell her that she just saw the Blue woMan Group.

Sheesh, think outside the box a little.

THAT IS GENIUS!