Courage needed!

[Sanibel Spirit]

Hi!

I've been away from DIS for a few months now. Hubby left me so am getting used to being me and doing things just for me for the first time in my life. I need a bit of encouragement and courage as I miss Disney. I was meant to be going in April but that has fallen by the wayside now.

I turn 40 next April (eeeek) and would love to visit Disney for my birthday. Thing is I'm in England and I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to get there, spend 2 weeks alone and tour by myself

Are there any brave people out there who have started a new life alone and visited alone? Din't you feel a bit daft? I've read this board but still don't know how you manage it!

Any courage would be appreciated!

Oh and are there any tour companies who don't charge stupidly high single supplements?

Thanks!

 

[sand2270]

Hi!

I've been away from DIS for a few months now. Hubby left me so am getting used to being me and doing things just for me for the first time in my life. I need a bit of encouragement and courage as I miss Disney. I was meant to be going in April but that has fallen by the wayside now.

I turn 40 next April (eeeek) and would love to visit Disney for my birthday. Thing is I'm in England and I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to get there, spend 2 weeks alone and tour by myself

Are there any brave people out there who have started a new life alone and visited alone? Din't you feel a bit daft? I've read this board but still don't know how you manage it!

Any courage would be appreciated!

Oh and are there any tour companies who don't charge stupidly high single supplements?

Thanks!

I left my husband about 6 years ago because I was tired of being treated bad. It was one of the best decisions I ever made. One of the hardest things for me was learning how to do things alone, I was the type who would stay home if I didn't have anyone to do stuff with.

Start small, for me it was going to the movies alone. That always seems so strange to me...but really it's not like you talk during the movie. The first time I did it even though it was a little thing it was empowering. Now I go to movies by myself all the time.

I was in Tokyo in 2007. Even though I was there with my (now ex) boyfriend he was there for work and I was on my own most of the time...in a foreign country I had never been to before. I was just fine. I could come and go as I pleased. Linger if I wanted to...leave if I wanted to. I went to Tokyo DisneySea by myself...I almost didn't go, seemed strange not going to a Disney park with someone. I had a great time and didn't feel lonely at all.

So I say if you want to do it do it. Don't let not having someone with you keep you from doing the things you want. Plus hang out on this site long enough and you will make some friends. You can also add your dates to the thread in my signature and there may be other singles going at the same time you are.

I have met some great people on this site...some in person...one or two that I think will be lifelong friends.

 

[acm563]

The first thing I can say is never let another person define who you are. I think one of the most difficult things for some of us is to learn to do things alone. I love my solitude (I have been divorced for 6+years now) and there is nothing I enjoy more than my solitude at home. Solitude recreationally tho is a different story. I agree with "Sands" above that you start out small. I hated even going out to dinner alone, altho I have traveled on business alone constantly I always just ordered take out and took it back to my room. I started out with dinner, then movies when I realized how many of them I was missing that I really wanted to see,because I couldnt find anyone to go with me at the time I wanted to go. March 2008 I went to WDW alone for the first time. It wasn't something I had planned to do solo, I had rented a condo, planned to drive instead of fly etc because someone else was going with me and then they backed out at the last moment. I am not going to say I didnt have melancholy moments while I was there solo, but they were just that...moments, and in the grand scheme of things I had a great time and would not hesitate to do it again. So take baby steps first, there are still some things I wont do alone but for the most part I am willing to go solo on anything if I want to do it bad enough. Now if the cruise lines would just cooperate and not charge extra for a solo traveler I would be in heaven as I am missing out on a lot of cruises due to the added cost, whereas I would not hesitate to go solo if I could pay the single price I think the easiest place to go solo is to the beach , grab a chair and a good book and go enjoy the warm ocean breeze is part of my main plan for this summer.
Hang in there and know this gets easier over time. ( I Promise!!!!)

 

[nurse.darcy]

First off, I will say I am sorry that your marriage fell apart. Don't need to know or understand why but just suffice it to say that like Angy and Amy, I am among the many who go it solo. I have been solo for 6 years like Angy, though for most of those 6 years my son lived with me. He is now with his dad cause that is close to his high school and that is where he wants to finish cause his friends are there. . .okay TMI. . .not about me today. . .lol. I have spent a good portion of my life traveling solo. Paris, Greece, Germany, Peru, Argentina, Brazil, Puerto Rico. . .all solo adventures. . .When you are 20 something, not married and have a VERY HIGH PAYING job, you go whether or not anyone will join you. I never felt ackward, at restaurants I would always tell the waitstaff that I was solo and liked interaction regarding local customs and culture, and I always enjoyed Museums, cultural events and local theatre, music and dance. Fast forward through marriage, kid, life, divorce, marriage, divorce, and now. I am single, I live alone and in May of 2008 I decided to join a BUNCH of other DISboard singles and adults at a meet. I have met LIFELONG friends through that meet. It was the best thing I have done for myself since being an empty nester. . .I even (in a round about way) met my main squeeze through this board and all of the people I have met. . .

You go with a gut feeling and then you just run with it. It gets easier as time goes by. . .trust us. . .we will tell you we have been there and done that. Angy and I met at WDW during that May 2008 trip. . .I met Amy here in Vegas, she had to put up with me. . .lol. It was fun though. . .I wouldn't trade my single traveler experiences for anything. . .

 

[WizardLarz]

Just go for it! O.k. You might want to plan a Little bit.
Just check the up coming Events Calendar and pick something you like to do or find enteresting and plan your vacation around the event.

 

[sand2270]

First off, I will say I am sorry that your marriage fell apart. Don't need to know or understand why but just suffice it to say that like Angy and Amy, I am among the many who go it solo. I have been solo for 6 years like Angy, though for most of those 6 years my son lived with me. He is now with his dad cause that is close to his high school and that is where he wants to finish cause his friends are there. . .okay TMI. . .not about me today. . .lol. I have spent a good portion of my life traveling solo. Paris, Greece, Germany, Peru, Argentina, Brazil, Puerto Rico. . .all solo adventures. . .When you are 20 something, not married and have a VERY HIGH PAYING job, you go whether or not anyone will join you. I never felt ackward, at restaurants I would always tell the waitstaff that I was solo and liked interaction regarding local customs and culture, and I always enjoyed Museums, cultural events and local theatre, music and dance. Fast forward through marriage, kid, life, divorce, marriage, divorce, and now. I am single, I live alone and in May of 2008 I decided to join a BUNCH of other DISboard singles and adults at a meet. I have met LIFELONG friends through that meet. It was the best thing I have done for myself since being an empty nester. . .I even (in a round about way) met my main squeeze through this board and all of the people I have met. . .

You go with a gut feeling and then you just run with it. It gets easier as time goes by. . .trust us. . .we will tell you we have been there and done that. Angy and I met at WDW during that May 2008 trip. . .I met Amy here in Vegas, she had to put up with me. . .lol. It was fun though. . .I wouldn't trade my single traveler experiences for anything. . .

HAHA Darcy...I would not call it putting up with you. That night out with you and Matty was one of the best times I ever had...even though I did injure my backbone LOL.

And yes...some of my best times have been when I consider myself officially single...going out with my friends, meeting you guys in Vegas...are some of my funnest and fondest memories.

 

[scooby9932]

First, let me say that I'm sorry you have to go through the pain, confusion, and readjustment involved in a marital split. You're among friends here & from what I've read, though our experiences are always unique & we all go through the process in our own ways, most of us have been where you are now. And we've made it through. You will, too.

I have been divorced for years, and I know that even now I'm hesitant to venture out alone when facing new situations. But, I have screwed my courage together & done all the many things I never would have thought I could do on my own. And guess what? It was not only liberating, but fun as well!

You CAN do it. And you definitely SHOULD do it.

Now is a time to concentrate on your needs & wants. Treat yourself well. Enjoy yourself. Don't let fear, or other's opinions, work against what you want for yourself. Just know that you're a strong, beautiful woman who is more than capable of doing things on her own & having a darn good time doing it! And, remember, we're all here for you to help you on. You can also PM me if you'd like, I have been told I'm a good listener, and let's face it sometimes you just need someone to hear you.

Ok, I've rambled on! To answer your other question, here's a website I have saved on my favorites tab that lists Singles Tour companies. I've not used any, but it might be a starting point for you: www.tourvacationstogo.com/singles.cfm.

HTH!

 

[bound2travel]

While I haven't been through a divorce, I have been single my entire life (42 this year). I started going out to dinner solo when I moved for my first job after college. It was either that or stare at the tv/walls. Since I was lonely, I liked going to restaurants to "see" other people and listen to the noise of others' conversations. From there, I had to make my first trip two years later for a job interview. It was then that I discovered I could go places by myself. I'm taking a 3 night cruise in two weeks on DCL and the 14 night transatlantic in 2010. Both are as solo passengers. I agree - the single supplement stinks!!!

Since then, I've gone on 5 tours, 1 solo trip and been to Disney alone more times than I can remember. Fortunately, I know a teacher that organized trips every year and welcomes anyone who wants to go. The solo trip was to Ireland in 2003 - rental car and B&Bs. THAT was AWESOME!!!! The nice thing about the tour company my teacher friend uses is that you don't pay a single supplement unless you want a room to yourself. The only extra cost from the base price is if you are 25 or over.

I agree with the others, start with something small. Dinner, movies, trips to local places, etc. Then try longer weekends someplace. Disney is great for anyone. Like others have said, post your dates on this board. I'm sure someone will be there when you go. I meet two disboard people as one of them made reservations for lunch and then invited a couple of us from the boards to join her. I was a little nervous beforehand, but I had a great time.

Don't forget to find someone to talk to when you need it. Take care and let us know when you are coming for a visit.

 

[aurora23]

I am so sorry. I can only imagine what you must be going through. You are not crazy at all to want to go to Disney by yourself. It is one of the most low pressure places to go by yourself in my opinion. You might also be able to meet up with other people from the DIS if you really want to be with someone. Disney is also a great place to people watch and meet friendly people. As an only child I have been doing stuff by myself for awhile, and I have learned that if people do not want to go with me I would rather go out and do something by myself then sit home and regret not going because no one would go with me. Regardless of what you decide, I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Sanibel Spirit]

Hi

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied to my posting. I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel just by telling someone how I felt. I am trying to do little things by myself at the moment - days out around home, going to a book club soon one evening a month. Next will be lunch and yes maybe a movie

It is always good to knnow that there are people around who will listen and give advice / share experiences - so thank you. I reckon now I'm back on the Boards I'm staying for good

Little steps forward. Hey if I make it to Disney I can spend the whole day on Tower of Terror with noone frowing and moaning at me!! Maybe my 40th will be a big day with lots of new friends to share it with me, in the best place on earth!

Thanks again everyone

 

[acm563]

Hi

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied to my posting. I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel just by telling someone how I felt. I am trying to do little things by myself at the moment - days out around home, going to a book club soon one evening a month. Next will be lunch and yes maybe a movie

It is always good to knnow that there are people around who will listen and give advice / share experiences - so thank you. I reckon now I'm back on the Boards I'm staying for good

Little steps forward. Hey if I make it to Disney I can spend the whole day on Tower of Terror with noone frowing and moaning at me!! Maybe my 40th will be a big day with lots of new friends to share it with me, in the best place on earth!

Thanks again everyone

YAY!!! Another ToT fan Remember, you CAN do this, everything begins with baby steps and to quote one of my older favorite sayings " It is better to try to do something and fail in the deed, than try to do nothing and always succeed! " It was tough for me to stop "letting the tail wag the dog" and there are still moments that I struggle with it but I am finding out that little by little each new thing I try solo, is actually "doable" and then becomes "enjoyable" (((HUGS)))

 

[suzycute]

Hi Sanibel Spirit! Sorry to hear about your break up - sounds like you're taking things slowly at the moment.

I also live in the UK and have visited WDW as a solo. I had a great time just doing what I wanted to do without having to take anyone else in to consideration. It was different but equally good. I went for a week which was a good amount of time to try being a solo for the first time - there was always someone to talk to - people in restaurants and waiting in line - I didn't feel lonely at all.

Rather than go through a tour company which might have a a big solo mark up, I arranged the hotel (POP via Dreams Unlimited who sponsor these boards - they will also make your ADR's for you) and flight (Virgin) myself. If you fly in to Orlando International, you can get Magical Express free to your resort. It's all very seamless and very easy!

Let us know what you decide to do!

 

[WizardLarz]

Sound advice from everyone. Once you pick a date look elsewhere on the singles boards for Meets and Meal shares. You won't have to do the parks by yourself!