Couples baby shower?

[DWGal210]

So maybe I am thinking too much into this / being sensitive, but I wanted some opinions, please.

I got an invitation in the mail this week for a friend's baby shower. I was casual friends with this gal in high school, and we ran around in the same large circle of friends in college, but I wouldn't say we were very close. Got along just fine, but not buddy-buddy.

I am friends with her on Facebook and occasionally run into her when she is back in town (she and her husband now live about 2 hours away) and last time I saw her, she wanted my address so she could send me an invitation to her baby shower. I didn't commit that I could go, mostly because she didn't have the date and I didn't want to promise and then not come.

So - to the heart of the matter. I get the invitation in the mail and it's a Couples Baby Shower!! The kicker is - I am pretty sure I will be the only single person there, and the invitation wasn't sent to me + guest. Now, granted, I don't have a guest to take, but if it was a Couples shower and you knew the person wasn't married / engaged / dating you would think you would include "+ guest" so they wouldn't be the 3rd wheel, so to speak. For those of you who have had Couples showers (either thrown them for someone or the shower was in your honor), what is the etiquette for that?

I guess I am being sensitive since I am literally the ONLY one of my circle of friends that is not married or engaged and I am honestly having a hard time with not having a special someone in my life.

My guess is that since we all ran around together in college, and quite a few of the friends who were dating in college married each other, that it's a Couples shower so there can be one get-together for everyone and they can catch up without having to have 2 parties. (I am surmising the invitee list based on a conversation I had with the mommy-to-be AND who the invitation actually came from, although admittedly I don't know exactly who was invited.)

Am I weird and/or being too sensitive for not wanting to attend a Couples shower and be the only Single person there??

 

[Becky2005]

I think maybe you are misunderstanding what the invitation is.

When I hear a "Couples Shower" -- I basically think it means that both the parents to be will be there.

It's not a shower that only couples are invited to. Unless of course, I'm misunderstanding your post.

I'm pretty sure you won't be the only single person there or even if there are other people not single won't be part of a couple. My DH has NEVER gone to any type of a shower and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even with bribing him. So, I would be showing up solo.

Then again...this could be one of those regional things, I just know if I saw it my first thought wouldn't be that I was expected to be a couple at the shower. I would think it meant that the mom to be would invite her friends and the dad to be might invite his friends with no regards to anyone's couple status.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

I think maybe you are misunderstanding what the invitation is.

When I hear a "Couples Shower" -- I basically think it means that both the parents to be will be there.

It's not a shower that only couples are invited to. Unless of course, I'm misunderstanding your post.

I'm pretty sure you won't be the only single person there or even if there are other people not single won't be part of a couple. My DH has NEVER gone to any type of a shower and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even with bribing him. So, I would be showing up solo.

Then again...this could be one of those regional things, I just know if I saw it my first thought wouldn't be that I was expected to be a couple at the shower. I would think it meant that the mom to be would invite her friends and the dad to be might invite his friends with no regards to anyone's couple status.

i actually just had a conversation with my DH the other day about a "Couples" or "Jack and Jill" shower. i HATE going to any kind of showers, i didn't even like MY bridal shower. first and foremost, they're boring....you get invited somewhere where you need to bring a gift, and you sit there and eat and watch the person open gifts. if there's games, it's not QUITE so bad(i went to my DSIL's this past weekend and there were no games. we sat, ate, and watched her open gifts. it was the most boring 2 hours of my life i swear).

plus, i also don't like being the center of attention, i feel so awkward and get kind of shy and timid, so for me it's weird to be the one HAVING the shower.

and then the conversation i had with DH was "if women have to sit there and be bored, then men should have to do the same thing" and we talked about when we decide to have children, when we do the baby shower, it will be a shower for men and women. but i've always heard it called a "Jack and Jill" shower.



and OP, to respond to you, i would just call or even PM the girl on facebook and ask her "is this a shower for men and women to come to?" and if she says "yes" just ask her "hey is there a way i could bring someone with me?"

and then you can always just say "no" if you REALLY don't want to go. you could even send her a gift or possibly even a giftcard to babies r us or someplace similar in the mail.

 

[aprilgail2]

and then the conversation i had with DH was "if women have to sit there and be bored, then men should have to do the same thing" and we talked about when we decide to have children, when we do the baby shower, it will be a shower for men and women. but i've always heard it called a "Jack and Jill" shower.



.

I feel the same- if we have to be bored then the guys should have to be! For my baby shower I had guys and girls. And actually some of the guys were not even with girls, they were friends of mine!

 

[luvmy3]

Like others said a couple shower or Jack and Jill is when both the mom and dad (or bride and groom) will be the guests of honor. Both male and females will be invited but its not a strict couples only invite, so yes, I would say you are being overly sensitive.

 

[NMAmy]

For all the couple showers I've attended, it usually just meant that the groom/father would be at the shower and that men were welcome to attend. Frankly, DH would rather not attend so I usually go on my own or with another family member.

These were really not a couples only event and there were plenty of single people there. I think you're being too sensitive and making too much of this.

DH was a bit traumatized the other day to receive an invitation from a friend's son for a wedding "man shower." I told him that he could RSVP that he wouldn't be there but could send a gift card. He wanted to know if I could attend in his place!

 

[mjkacmom]

If it makes you feel better, I've been married for 15 years, and I still laugh at the fact that, at any social event, the men gravitate to each other, as do the women, like a 6th grade dance. We're going camping this weekend with college friends, and I'll never see DH, which is fine. We get plenty of one-on-one time at home - I love to catch up with friends.

 

[SDFgirl]

I've been invited to lots of "couples showers" and it is not all couples. It just means that the father will be there and included.

Most of the couples showers I've been to have been about 75% women and a few smatterings of men.

Also - I know it's difficult when you really would love to meet someone and be in love. I sure felt that way. Just remember that once you meet the right man, the wait will definitely be worth it.

 

[PlutoLuvr]

I agree with the others. I think it just means the father will be there.

 

[harleyquinn]

Ditto everyone else. We had a 2 Jack and Jill baby showers (not that either I or DH really wanted it, my mom insisted). The guys hung out in the basement and played pool and drank beer the whole time at one and the other was an outdoor cookout, so they handled the grilling (ie., stood around and drank beer).

There were plenty of singles.

 

[Nennie]

I'm sure if you go, you will have a nice time! It will likely be 80% women, and the few guys that are there will be outside drinking beers! LOL!!

I went to one couples shower, and like others have said it really just meant that the father-to-be was there, and that husbands were invited if they wanted to come. There were less than 10 guys there, and the party was at a restaurant so the ladies sat at tables, etc, while the guys sat around the bar, drinking beers, and watching the baseball game.

The only reason my DH came was b/c it was a 2 hour drive (and I was pregnant and he didn't want me driving along), and also b/c he was good friends with the father-to-be.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

It doesn't sound like you want to go anyway... so why sweat it? Just politely decline.

 

[VAN]

I agree with the others that it will most likely be mostly women. Even so, the men will hang out together and then the women hang out together.

Do you want to go? If not, just politely decline that you have other plans.

If you'd like to go but are nervous about going by yourself, phone and ask if you could bring a guest; especially as you will have to travel 2 hrs by yourself to get there.

Otherwise, if you want to go and choose to go by yourself, use the opportunity to network among those there (especially if you knew them from college) ... maybe someone knows of another single to fix you up with!! It sounds like you would like to meet someone, and what better way than through a friend!!

Just do what feels right to you and don't worry too much about it. The party focus will be on the new parents and not on YOU.

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

I feel the same- if we have to be bored then the guys should have to be! For my baby shower I had guys and girls. And actually some of the guys were not even with girls, they were friends of mine!

lol yes they should have to deal with it just like we have to! that's probably what would happen at mine, not all of my guy friends and girl friends are with someone, so they'd be there stag, too. but everyone pratically knows everyone else so it's not usually a problem when we have get-togethers normally.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Couples shower means that both parents are there and it is a not just a woman's baby shower. It means you can bring a guy if you can drag him there.

I have been to a few and they are fine.