Corporal Punishment in Schools...

[Whosemom]

Our kids go to a private school that reserves the option to spank. But, it is after a long line of other things. And, if I remember correctly, they call the parent and give them the option of being present. To the best of my knowledge, no one has been spanked in the three years we've been there. For some reason, kids want to stop before that call to Dad to come for a discussion with the principal, and that comes the step before. (Yes, Dad. Sounds old-timey, but it sure works.)

 

[Blondy876]

CP is illegal in NJ and as a teacher I am grateful. I have rarely (read 3 times between 2 children over 8 years) spanked my own daughters and would go Mama bear on anyone else who did. I just cannot imagine being expected to spank one of my students. Now, over the years, I have been told by parents that they want to me smack their child's hands or swat them on the butt when they misbehave, and I always try an explain to them that I will not do it and they are surprised. I cannot imagine what kind of trouble any teacher would be opening him/herself up to if they spanked a child even if legally allowed.

 

[pweyl36]

campbellscott, my parents used spanking as a form a punishment(not all the time) .My sisters and I grew up happy people,never drank or did drugs,own our houses work good paying jobs.Every now and then my children will get a smack but very rarely.But i can tell you when we go out to dinner they are the ones sitting still waiting for dinner not running around or screaming.Not having a tantrum in the toy isle because they were told no.I get alot of commets about how well behave they are. And no its not because they are scared of being smacked . I use to say that I would never raise my kids like my parents would but Iam glad i did after seeing how some parents are raising there smart mouthed,give me what I what ,out of control kids.

 

[mylilnikita]

I remember paddles, not getting one, but just it being where you could see it was enough of a deterent. That's back in the day, when you could spank your kids and not get arrested. A time when kids didn't talk back to teachers or their parents.

 

[mericletwins]

I remember paddles, not getting one, but just it being where you could see it was enough of a deterent. That's back in the day, when you could spank your kids and not get arrested. A time when kids didn't talk back to teachers or their parents.

As a current middle school teacher, I would like to be transported to a class "back in the day" for a little bit. Sounds like heaven!

I know that when I was in school and a teacher called home and said that the child was misbehaving, the kids were in trouble. Not now. I hear every excuse in the book and how it is always some other child's fault.

Parents have really become enablers of their kids bad behavior in a lot of cases. These are basically good kids, from good families, but they have what I like to call spoiled brat syndrome.(I don't mean monetarily either) Mommy and Daddy will bail me out or make excuses for me so I can do and say what I want, they'll believe me over you.

 

[write2caro]

But i can tell you when we go out to dinner they are the ones sitting still waiting for dinner not running around or screaming.Not having a tantrum in the toy isle because they were told no.I get alot of commets about how well behave they are.

Mine, too, and without being spanked. I know I'm not the only one here after reading some of the other posts. Not saying it NEVER works, just that there are other ways to achieve the same (or better) result, IMO.

As a current middle school teacher, I would like to be transported to a class "back in the day" for a little bit. Sounds like heaven!

Parents have really become enablers of their kids bad behavior in a lot of cases.

I definitely sympathize with the first statement!! I don't think the cure for "enabler" parents has to be for them to smack their kids into behaving, though. I'm not saying that this is what you were trying to say, either but I wanted to make the point.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Just because it is on the books as legal in some states, that does not mean it happens. We are in NC and in our county handbook there is a clause that states after every other option has been exausted a paddle can take place under these limit and very specific conditions. There is an option to write a letter to the school asking that your child be exempt from this form of punishment. I took my letter the first day DS was in kindergarten and they said they would be glad to keep it but that just does not happen in this school. Same thing for the middle school is our district. I would not base my decission for relocation on this criteria.

 

[Steph9072]

We have to sign a slip okaying it. I signed it but added the option I wanted to be notified and present when the punishment was handed out. But I don't think it will ever come to that. This is in the public school.

Next year dd will be in a private school who doesn't allow corporal punishment.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

States and U.S. possessions that DO allow corporal punishment: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Puerto Rico, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Wyoming


If you decide to spank you own kids, than so be it. While I don't agree, I don't think I should lay judgement on you either. HOWEVER..I agree with the person that said..As an adult I am not hit when I do something wrong. And If I were hit, I would def. be suing someone!
Learning should be a safe environment for EVERYONE! I don't want my daughter being hit by anyone, and I don't want it hung over her head. As in " Do this or you will get paddled" Now, My dd is only just 5, so i don't have much to gauge as far as out of control behavior goes. She is a really good kid. But even if she were hell bent on doing everything backwards, i wouldn't be okay with anyone spanking her.

 

[Tam1067]

My mother used to spank us very hard always on the rear end. I was hit with a belt more times than I can remember; in the summer, when I was wearing shorts, I would get welts on my legs. My father used to get angry at us, but he never hit us.

What were my offenses? Disagreeing with her or "being rude" as she would say, or sometimes arguing with my younger brother. I never lied, drank, smoked, or snuck out of the house. I got good grades.

Today, I've got a Master's degree, teach college, am happily married, and have 3 well behaved children who also do well in school and are polite and respectful to adults. So I guess I turned out OK; my mom would say that.

But, I do not hit my children. EVER. My husband does not hit our children either, and I would never allow anyone else to hit my children. I am glad I live in a state (Illinois) which does not allow corporal punishment.

People who hit children are not teaching them lessons. They are showing their power over someone with less power. They are teaching them anger. I know. When my mother hit me and gave me welts on my legs, she did not teach me to behave better; she taught me to be angry at her. And yeah, I'm still angry about that, and I'll bet that most kids who are hit are angry and humiliated, and they do not learn the "lesson" they're supposed to learn. They just become more angry and often take their anger out on those who are less powerful than they are.

Hitting children is not the answer to solving bad behavior.

 

[freckles and boo]

I don't hit my kids and I would never consent for anyone else to do it, either. We also live in Illinois (south burbs, too) and our daughter's school is a PBIS school. They have very few behavior problems because they address the issues early, often, and with lots of positive modeling and reinforcement.

 

[momto2girls]

I had no idea that some schools still have corporal punishment. When I lived in Florida in the 80s, paddling was a common occurence at my junior high school. In fact, I got to "witness" a lot of them. I was an assistant in the Dean's Office during the last period of the day (when all of the paddling took place) one year. So, I was responsible for taking the little slips of paper to the classes to call the students to the Dean's Office. Then the students would sit in the chairs across from my desk waiting for their turn to be called into the office for their paddling. I witnessed (heard) lots of them. It was interesting how many "regulars" there were though. I guess the paddlings weren't deterents for everyone.

 

[Katiebell]

My boys are grown now. The oldest, 23, is in the Air Force. The 21 year old has a steady job, his own apartment, and is going back to college nights. The youngest is 16 and in high school -- he's funny, smart, and insightful. My kids aren't perfect, but I'm not a perfect mom either. All of them are intelligent, loving, compassionate people, and if they weren't my kids, I'd still like them a lot and would be proud to call them my friends.

I won't say I never spanked my kids. In fact, when they were really little, the influences around me told me that spanking was the proper way to discipline a child. I will say that at one point I stopped spanking them, because I decided for myself that wasn't the way I wanted to discipline my kids, and I no longer agreed with people I once looked to for wisdom about things like that.

The issue here is whether or not parents should or shouldn't spank their children. It's whether or not school teachers or principals should spank them. And not swatting them with their hand -- which would really constitute inappropriate touching -- but hitting them with a piece of wood, a board or a paddle. I just can't see permitting an adult who does not really know or love my child -- and yes, teachers can love their students, but not the way a parent or grandparent loves the child -- to decide if my child has behaved badly enough that they deserve to be hit with a piece of wood. Any state that allows CP in the schools, should also require written permission from the parents on file in order to carry it out. JMHO.

 

[emma'smom]

We live in Ohio....paddling is still on the books here...but rarely happens! The "opt out" form is available for parents to sign here too. I wouldn't worry about this issue in deciding where to move. Worry more about the quality of the schools!

 

[flying_babyb]

I thank the lord every day that we dont have corpral punishment. I work with a preschool teacher who has kids that she "hates". She decides their a behavior problem, wont listen etc. If we had corpol punishment, I would worry about these poor little ones.

 

[PrincessNED]

I remember paddles, not getting one, but just it being where you could see it was enough of a deterent. That's back in the day, when you could spank your kids and not get arrested. A time when kids didn't talk back to teachers or their parents.

Exactly - Its a deterent !! We had identicle leather straps hanging on a nail at our house, our aunts and grandparents. Be disrespectful or break the major rules(fighting, profanity, disrespecting property) and you knew your hand might be stinging for a few minutes. Trust me everytime I ,my brother or our cousins got the "strap" it was warranted and we certainly thought about the reprecusions of our actions ( and yes sometimes we still did the dumb things boys will do, knowing we might get the strap) .

Sorry but the youth of the world have to learn that their actions have consequences(sp?) . And time outs, and " johnny , please don't do that again " just don't cut it.

I live in a city where 70% + of the auto theft is by kids under the age of 16 joyriding. why - Cause the liberal " don't discipline" approach lets these kids off with little more then a scolding.

The OP should have been asking why ONLY 23 states have the OPTION of CP.

JMHO

 

[PrincessNED]

... And no I don't beat my Daugther.

Positive reinforcments, level headed discussions - and when only necessary - I raise my voice with the threat of a spanking.

It's amazing but if you only raise your voice to a child on rare occassions where the child has/is testing the bounds of discipline then it gets their attention.

 

[write2caro]

It's amazing but if you only raise your voice to a child on rare occassions where the child has/is testing the bounds of discipline then it gets their attention.

Agreed about the raised voice. You still need to spank to get your point across after that?? A "don't discipline approach" is harmful. Discipline does not equal spanking or paddling, though.

 

[CampbellScot]

campbellscott, my parents used spanking as a form a punishment(not all the time) .My sisters and I grew up happy people,never drank or did drugs,own our houses work good paying jobs.Every now and then my children will get a smack but very rarely.But i can tell you when we go out to dinner they are the ones sitting still waiting for dinner not running around or screaming.Not having a tantrum in the toy isle because they were told no.I get alot of commets about how well behave they are. And no its not because they are scared of being smacked . I use to say that I would never raise my kids like my parents would but Iam glad i did after seeing how some parents are raising there smart mouthed,give me what I what ,out of control kids.

I know what you mean about out of control kids in public. I cannot STAND that or the parents who refuse to parent their children so that the rest of us have to deal with their lack of parenting skills.

My step kids are 7 and 4. They are not allowed to run screaming around stores or in restaurants. They often look shocked at the countless numbers of spoiled out of control kids we see in stores and restaurants. Just yesterday we saw a child hitting his dad and screaming about a toy he wanted... My step son whispered to me "That boy needs a time out!" Yes he does little man! My step children have nice manners and they are very well behaved. My husband and I do NOT spank them. We are consistent with the rules and consequences in our home. Period. Time outs and other non violent consequences work if you are consistent, every single time. You can't be lazy about it. The second a child sees that you aren't totally behind what you just said, there is a struggle. When my step son is at his mother's house he is a different boy. Sometimes she'll get fed up and spank him. He laughs at her. Once she was trying to spank him and he hit her back...which makes sense...she was hitting him, why shouldn't he hit in return? She is not consistent with any consequences. He is willful and smart mouthed with his mom. He throws things at his sister. He is not a child that I know when he is with his mother. It's very sad b/c I know what a good boy he truly is and can be.

We have never hit him, we never will, and he is a poster child for "nothing else works"...but it does. We are consistent. We don't waver. He doens't need to test us b/c he knows with 100% certainty that we mean what we say. It's pretty simple.

Violence breeds violence.

 

[hsmamato2]

I would never allow a stranger to decide if it was ok to hit my kid with a wooden board or not. even though I don't consider a quick spank on a young one harmful,coming from a parent who truly loves the kid, I do believe that many abuses occur with people who have no love for a kid being allowed to *pick up an object and hit a child*. Where is the line with that kind of thing? How big can the paddle be? How hard can you hit with it? Should you paddle a 200 lb. high schooler(ridiculous) with the same paddle you hit a 1st grader?
I guess I also can't fathom the idea of using an object to hit someone to get a point across...... isn't that something we teach kids not to do?
And even a quick swat on the bottom can lead to things unintended,so I try my best to be very careful,yet balanced.
I wouldn't trust any stranger in a kids school to use the same thought processes.....IF we had that issue here, we'd opt out for sure.