Contacting an old friend?

[Rajah]

I'm having trouble deciding something, and I thought y'all might be able to help me decide.

As y'all know, DH and I are going to Disneyland this weekend. We leave tomorrow, actually. I really want this trip to be almost exclusively DH and me. The past several trips to WDW have been DH and me and friend -- one day we'd meet with one friend at WDW, another day with another friend, so it wasn't uncommon for us to not have much "just us" time. The last non-Disney real *trip* we took, my grandparents were with us the entire time (by choice and by blessing, actually), and that trip wasn't good for DH at all. So it would be nice to have an "us" trip instead of an "us and them" trip. DH and I could really use this time to "reconnect", too. And then there's the matter of this being our early-anniversary trip.

So, with the exception of a DIS meet on Saturday afternoon (information is on the Disneyland board if anyone's going to be at the park and wants to join us), I want this trip to be "just us".

Well -- here's the question.

My best friend through high school and college lives in LA. I haven't spoken to her more than twice in almost 3 years, and haven't even exchanged emails with her more than about a dozen times. It would be nice to see her again.

But, I think if I told her we were out there, she'd want to join us for one or two of the days. That would be a mixed thing. I'd love to see her and spend time with her again, but on the other hand, I want to spend time with DH with it "just us" (again, with the exception of the DIS meet on Saturday -- that we both want to do )

Then, there's the possibility (maybe even probability) that she wouldn't be able to afford Disneyland, and would want us to meet outside the park. We'd rather spend the time *at* the park. We're there for the Disney parks and each other -- as y'all know, these trips aren't cheap, and we've already got our tickets for every day. She might be willing/able to do Downtown Disney, but I'm not sure on that, either.

Plus, if she can't join us at the park, or possibly at all, or we can't/don't want to leave the park to join them, and they can't meet us at the airport any more, there would be the disappointment of both of us knowing we were so close, but unable to get together.

So, I keep debating... do I call her and tell her we're coming out, or do I just not tell her this trip?

I know for a fact that if she joined us, it would be me and her, and DH would be "just hanging around". He never really participates much when we get together with others, so having her join us would defeat the purpose of our "anniversary trip" for that day/afternoon. But on the other hand, it's not every day that you get to see your once-best friend who now lives half-way across the country, and who if you were still in the same city would likely still be your best friend.

So... what would y'all suggest?

 

[DocRafiki]

I would suggest that you make a plan for one event, say a specific night at a specific restaurant at a specific time. Tell her that you two will be eating there and you were wondering if she could join you. Don't be vague and say, "can you meet us some time?" Take control of the situation and make it a yes or no thing (then maybe be flexible with the time and date, but at least it's clear that you're not inviting her to the park). Good friends understand. A couple of years ago, I met my best friend from Colorado for a drink and about an hour of conversation. I drove 1.5 hours for that, and I was glad to have it. She was down visiting her family, and I hadn't seen her in about 4 years.

 

[Michelle]

I agree with Jen. Make it a SPECIFIC meeting time -- "can you meet us for coffeee (or drinks or whatver) at this restaurant"?

I think you would regret being so close and not taking the time to see an old friend. She may not be able to make it, especially on short notice, but at least you would know you tried.

 

[Planogirl]

I also agree with the idea of meeting the friend one evening for dinner with or without DH. I suggest making your get-together for a specific evening towards the end of your trip and maybe tell her that you want to spend some time with just her.

I think also that you might regret not seeing her.

 

[Rajah]

Yeah, y'all are right.

But, looks like it's a moot point. The phone number I had for her is now disconnected/changed, so I can't reach her before we leave.

Unless someone knows if the LA area codes have recently changed...?


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Okay, DH just pointed out I'm stupid. (my words, not his).

Doesn't matter that I've been calling LA for Disneyland stuff... I didn't recognize that the area code I had for that old phone number was from *college*, not from LA.

 

[Rajah]

Found her!

 

[Michelle]

Yea! Hope it works out to see her, Rajah.

 

[Rajah]

Well, she's now in my address book (gee, what a place to put addresses and phone number ) so hopefully I won't lose her *again*

 

[JasonLyons]

tell her your sick, and cancelled the trip

 

[Rajah]

Originally posted by JasonLyons
tell her your sick, and cancelled the trip

You are so mean!