Constant Worrying

[WriteDisney]

Anyone else a big time worrier? Kinda feel like you move from one worry to another?

How do you deal with it? What things do you do to try and relax and let it go?

Just looking for suggestions... thanks DIS

 

[NikitaZee]

I 'm not a constant worrier, but my husband is. Sometimes it causes a great deal of friction between us. A psychologist was able to put it into a bit more perspective for me, so that it's a little easier to deal with.

She told me that worrying like that isn't always a bad thing - that it's a person's way of working through potentially troubling situations in their mind, so that they feel better prepared to deal with them if they do happen. As long as you think of potential resolutions to what's troubling you, that can be a constructive thing.

This attitude has helped me deal with my husband's worry-wort tendencies better. Not always, but it does help.

 

[2bearsmom]

My ds is only 7 but he is a worrier, as is my dad and my sister. My 4yr old ds doesn't have a care in the world. I bought the book Worry, by Edward Hallowell, MD although I have not had a chance to read it yet I heard it's very good. He discusses some of his cases and goes in depth with the different degrees of worrying.

 

[SpecialK]

Used to be. Then, through dealing with various family illnesses etc., it reinforced what I already knew. Worrying didn't affect any outcomes; it only made me unhappy and unpleasant. I made a concious effort to let things go - give it up to the universe and know that what's meant to be will be. I do what is in my power to do and then I let it go.

 

[KandD]

I am a worrier and I have been for as long as I can remember. Sometimes talking it out makes it worse and sometimes it makes it better (depends on who I am talking to!) I don't think I have really found a way to cope with it because sometimes it drives me really crazy and makes me MORE anxious about whatever I am worrying about.
Some of my worries are a bit irrational I think and some I just take to a level that I probably don't need to take it to. Even though I am a logical person and I KNOW that my worrying drives me absolutely crazy, I still can't help it.

So hugs because I know what it is like, and if anyone has some coping skills I would love to hear them!!

 

[DMickey28]

I am a constant worrier. It's very hard for me to control it and relax. I swing from one extreme to the other in a matter of minutes.

The best thing I have learned to do is to figure out what I am worrying about and tackle it head on. Mostly I worry about money and finances and bills. It helps me to log into the bank account and just look things over. Stuff tends to get multiplied in my head and be worse than it is.

I do not worry about other stuff, like getting sick, DS getting sick or things like that. 99% of my worries are based on money .... I just bought YNAB to try and get things more under control so that I don't let that control me anymore!

Good Luck.

 

[Tinkermommy]

I am not a worrier. My saying is "The future takes care of itself."

I do know of others who do and they say that writing it down in a journal helps to get it out of their head. This one lady I knew wrote things out on paper and put it in a can. She called it her "God can" because she couldn't change anything but God can.

I think worry is about a lack of control. I travel a lot so when I get on a plane I know I have no way of controlling the plane. I say a little prayer and then let it go.

Worrying takes a lot of energy and if there is nothing you can do about a situation, then it's just wasted. I try to focus on what I can control and enjoy each day as it comes.

 

[everylastbreath]

I am so totally NOT a worrier, I have a theory if the sentance starts with "IF" I don't want to know, tell me what "IS" and I will deal with it, can't worry about the "IF's" because it's a lot of wasted effort, most "IF's" don't even happen. Try it, when you think and start to worry about something, see if it doesn't start with WHAT "IF", and if it does, stop yourself and focus on WHAT "IS"... Hope that helps.

 

[dakcp2001]

Anyone else a big time worrier? Kinda feel like you move from one worry to another?

How do you deal with it? What things do you do to try and relax and let it go?

Just looking for suggestions... thanks DIS

The only thing that helps me is cardio exercise. I need a treadmill or elliptical and some good music. I tend to think out all my major life decisions there, its like the only time to myself.

I think the endorphins help too, and if nothing else, it helps me sleep. If I ma worrying and do not exercise, I get that clibming up the walls feeling and stay up all night worrying. I feel your pain, I do not WANT or ENJOY the worrying, but I do try hard to control it.

 

[Darsa]

I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have anything to worry about, I'd just up and disappear. I'm almost positive I'm made out of pure worry.

I envy my DH all the time, because he's a "whatever" type person. On the other hand, if I was like that I believe the animals would starve to death, and we'd have no lights, heat, phone, internet, cars or home....

 

[Snowysmom]

I am a big time worrier. I am trying to get it under control as I don't need or want all the stress. When I get worried about a problem, I try to find a solution to it before it happens so I am prepared. That seems to calm me down. Also, I tell myself that other things have happened and I have successfully dealt with them as they have come up. DH tells me not to borrow trouble. Easy for him to say!

 

[WriteDisney]

Wow, lots of really great responses! I'm definitely writing these down

 

[chisnpeke]

I'm the world's biggest worrier. I also have extreme anxiety and I take zoloft for that.

I wish I knew what the answer was. It does have an affect on my relationships and it drives people crazy. My worrying causes me to nag. Worrying leads to more worrying for me. It's a terrible cycle.

 

[KarenB]

Yes and I hate it.

 

[Judy from Boise]

I am not a worrier, but I am a planning/control freak
Honestly, if it is affecting your quality of life i would talk to your MD or NP about trying some mild anti-anxiety medication. It might be you just don't make the proper neurotransmitters in the proper amounts. No shame in medication!

 

[AnnaS]

Another worrier here - don't like it one bit.

 

[Rora]

I'm a constant worrier, with control issues and a bit of compulsion thrown in there too. It's pretty bad.

I went to a councelor when I was in college and asked how to deal with anxiety problems. She basically told me to do this activity:

First: identify what you're worrying about and how it's making you feel.
Second: Decide if there's anything at all in your power that you can do to remedy this situation. If there is, do it. If not, move to step three.
Third: Is this something you can't control? If so, STOP WORRYING ABOUT IT. Because there is nothing you can do about it. You either need to prepare for what will happen because of it (to an extent) and save your energy/sanity.

For a while I thought I needed to go on anti-anxiety medication but my psychologist talked me out of that claiming that you can control your worrying by simply changing how you think (although that is not simple!! ).

If I start to worry I try to follow the activity she gave me and try to avert my thinking to something else.

I don't know if you're religious or what your religion is but most religions have passages/stories/etc that tell you to put your trust in the higher being and whatnot. Sometimes reading my Bible helps me.

This all being said, the activity doesn't always work and neither does thinking about something else. It takes practice and time.

At least we're all in this together..

 

[Pikester]

I'm a constant worrier, with control issues and a bit of compulsion thrown in there too. It's pretty bad.

I went to a councelor when I was in college and asked how to deal with anxiety problems. She basically told me to do this activity:

First: identify what you're worrying about and how it's making you feel.
Second: Decide if there's anything at all in your power that you can do to remedy this situation. If there is, do it. If not, move to step three.
Third: Is this something you can't control? If so, STOP WORRYING ABOUT IT. Because there is nothing you can do about it. You either need to prepare for what will happen because of it (to an extent) and save your energy/sanity.

For a while I thought I needed to go on anti-anxiety medication but my psychologist talked me out of that claiming that you can control your worrying by simply changing how you think (although that is not simple!! ).

If I start to worry I try to follow the activity she gave me and try to avert my thinking to something else.

I don't know if you're religious or what your religion is but most religions have passages/stories/etc that tell you to put your trust in the higher being and whatnot. Sometimes reading my Bible helps me.

This all being said, the activity doesn't always work and neither does thinking about something else. It takes practice and time.

At least we're all in this together..

I am going to borrow your 3 steps if you don't mind as I can be somewhat of a big worrier.

I've identified what I'm worried about but I have to skip to step 3 because there is no way that I can control it. I try to stop as best as I can but sometimes I think too much and then I have an anxiety attack.

 

[LUCiD]

Nah, I'm pretty brave.
*Sees her shadow.*
EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So basically, I'm the mother of all worry warts.


So, like Rora said, we're all in this together.
*High School Musical songs begin to play in her head.*
AUGH! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!

Hope my spasticness made you feel better.

Laughing things off usually helps relieves stress a little.

 

[::Snow_White::]

I have really bad anxiety so, yeah I worry a lot. Lately I've been taking control of it and everytime I start to worry I ask myself "Why am I worrying? Is this something that I can control? Is this something I should be nervous about?" Most often the answer is no, and if it is yes I do what I need to do and leave the rest up to time and decide this is what it's going to be and it is going to be okay. If I find something to occupy my time with then when the event or whatever it is I'm worrying about comes it turns out fine and I'm relieved that I didn't get worked up about it.

Good luck.