Confessions

[MUFFYCAT]

When I was 20 years old, I had a fresh tattoo and the artist told me to put hemorrhoid cream on it every few hours to help it heal faster. I did not want to be seen at work with a tube of hemorrhoid cream, so I put some in a little tupperware jar and brought it to work with me.

My boss, who lived to make me suffer, saw me putting the cream on my tattoo, and asked me if I thought it would help her new ear piercing heal faster. I still laugh when I think about her rubbing it all over her face and saying, "Oooooh, this makes my skin feel SO soft!"

I never did tell her what was in the jar.

 

[Pam]

There was a time when I wanted to have lots of children. (Just kidding! I just wanted to see if you were paying attention! LOL!)

 

[KimR]

For shame!!! Just kidding. Next you're going to say you don't like brats either!
live in Falls!)

I'm missing something here - why would people from Wisconsin like brats?

Anyway here's mine: One evening back in September I felt my 5-year-old DD's forehead just before bedtime and told her she couldn't go to school the next day because she had a fever. She was actually perfectly healthy; the truth was she had just started kindergarten and I missed our one-on-one time. I wanted to spend the day with her but I felt like I couldn't set a precedent for keeping her out of school 'just because' so I lied. I did feel a bit guilty but we had so much fun that day and she still talks about it.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I scrubbed the toilet with my ex's toothbrush....He gave me a deadly disease so I think it was the least I could do

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Here's mine:
At my son's preschool, there are a few other moms who have younger children.
My son is the baby of our family, so when I drop him off I am ALONE!
Anyway when I hear the Preschoolers siblings-the babies cry or the toddlers run away and tantrum, I get a big fat grin on my face and an extra spring in my step as I walk to my car all by my lonesome.

Isn't that awful? I can't help it though--maybe it's because DS was ALWAYS the toddler running away when I dropped DD off at the preschool, it's just relief that I am done with those days?

OMG I can so relate. Oh and when I hear crying babies, I want to chuckle.

I never thought I would be out of that stage.

 

[mytwotinks]

I scrubbed the toilet with my ex's toothbrush....He gave me a deadly disease so I think it was the least I could do

It's the VERY least that you owed him!

 

[mzzzh]

Kim R ---


I think the Wisconsin resident meant "bratwurst" (brats being short for bratwurst) not "brats" as in spoiled rotten kids!

 

[mytwotinks]

My confesion makes me sound like a really horrible person, but here goes........................

I don't really like babies right now. I have two daughters, they are 4 and 9, and I am absolutely sure that I don't want any more. When a friend has a baby I have to pretend to be excited. When everyone is making a big deal about how cute some baby is in some hat, I'm thinking, BIG DEAL! Honestly, I am just over the whole baby thing!

Also........ My 4 yo dd goes to speach and I am not great about making her practice at home. Bad bad mommy!!!!!

 

[JVL1018]

No, it's not awful.....I did the same thing.....maybe we're both awful !!!!!!!!

It's sweet relief! LOL!

 

[Missy1961]

OK, a few more:
1. when I was 4, I broke a record album (all of you youngsters won't know what those are, ask your grandma & grandpa) on my younger brother's head. And then I blamed it on him. Since he broke everything he came in contact with (he was 2), I got away with it.

2. When my now 15 yr old nephews were 2 or 3, they used to watch the same videos over & over again. I hide them & told them I lost them.

3. I own a Mickey Mouse waffle maker. (the version that makes 1 big waffle). My niece had had a MM pancake once. So when she came to my house for breakfast, I made her a MM waffle & she thought it was a pancake. So I called it that for years. She & her younger sister would ask me to bring it to their house whenever I slept over. So now Sammie is 7 yrs old. She can read. She's pretty tall. So I'm making a 'pancake' for her one morning, she looks at the thing & says "hey! that says 'waffler'". So I lied & said "it makes pancakes, too!". I lied to a child, that makes me a bad person.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

I must confess that...I was at Walmart once and saw those cool lava lamps. When I was holding one, it slipped through my hands and shattered on the floor, spilling lava liquid everywhere. Instead of telling someone who worked there, I just ran down the isle.

I was filing my nails while driving. Although I haven't had an accident or ticket in over 20 years, I know it was irresponsible. My DS(11) looked at me and said, "That can't be safe."

 

[JR6ooo4]

Hi,
My name is Mikeeee and I watch american idol

 

[famofsix]

Here's a real embarrassing one I'll confess to.

At my old job, I had a drawer where I kept personal items such as feminine supplies, makeup, a hairbrush, bandaids, etc. One day I needed some feminine supplies so I opened the drawer to pull some out just as the director was coming to my desk. I quickly stuck them in an interoffice envelope and tended to whatever he needed. I went to lunch, completely forgetting about the interoffice envelope full of tampons. Of course as luck would have it, the mail guy came around and just that moment and delivered the tampons to my boss (whose name was last written on the envelope), a single guy with a Peter Pan complex....hardly the kind of person you'd want to send tampons to. He came out of the office all perplexed and said he got a weird thing in his interoffice mail, could I come look at it? At this point it all came together and although I about died, I acted as though I had no clue why or how it came to be he was sent an interoffice envelope full of tampons. To this day, he still has no clue.

this has got to be one of the top ten funniest things I have ever read on the DIS

 

[Stacerita]

I got a bit of a crush on a co worker.

 

[goofygirl]

My confesion makes me sound like a really horrible person, but here goes........................

I don't really like babies right now. I have two daughters, they are 4 and 9, and I am absolutely sure that I don't want any more. When a friend has a baby I have to pretend to be excited. When everyone is making a big deal about how cute some baby is in some hat, I'm thinking, BIG DEAL! Honestly, I am just over the whole baby thing!

No, you're not horrible! I can relate!


I've "regifted" many times.

I've passed off store-bought pie as homemade.

That piece of cake you left on the table at work? Yeah, I ate it. I thought it was fair game. I swear I didn't know it was yours!

 

[drgnfly30]

this has got to be one of the top ten funniest things I have ever read on the DIS

I agree...

 

[DeterminedOne]

Another thread that had me LMAO! You guys are hilarious! The fire alarm and tampon stories had me laughing so hard I thought my stomach would explode. And the post about scaring toddlers with a vacum cleaner - oh my gosh, too funny! Thanks for your support.

 

[mantysk8coach]

Kim R ---


I think the Wisconsin resident meant "bratwurst" (brats being short for bratwurst) not "brats" as in spoiled rotten kids!

Yes, that's correct! I should have been more clear!

Thanks!

 

[ilovepcot]

Sometimes I think about setting the DIS on fire.

 

[mommy*RN]

For shame!!! Just kidding. Next you're going to say you don't like brats either!

(I'm about 1/2 an hour north of you. My DH's brother and his family actually live in Falls!)

Don't hate me, okay...but I don't like Brats (the wiener kind), I'm lactose intolerant, and Miller is NOT my favorite beer. I've lived here all my life.

I also confess that I watch the America's Next Top Model marathons and celebrity paranormal experience scares me.