Concerned about kids club

[Tiffylv]

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[lanejudy]

I can't quote specific "procedures" from a handbook or anything, but the CMs in the kids clubs are very familiar with all sorts of "kid" behaviors. I don't know that they specifically do a "time-out" but they will separate the kids and try to re-direct his attention. If they are unable to calm him or re-direct his focus, then yes you will receive a call. If his behavior escalates, tantrum/throwing things, and/or he hurts another child, he would likely be banned from the Club/Lab for the rest of the cruise. I suggest you speak with the CMs during open house the first afternoon; discuss your concerns and find out how they would handle specific scenarios. We've had no problems on a cruise, but in general life I've found that stating specific expectations for behavior to DD before drop-off is crucial; not just once but each time -- stating what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. And make sure he is aware of what consequences YOU will impose if you hear of unacceptable behavior when you pick him up -- not just what the CMs might do.

Enjoy your vacation!

 

[eeyoreandtink]

IN my experience there really is no discipline in the kids club, and that is why DD didn't like it. They won't make kids share or be nice for fear of angering a parent and certainly won't put a child into time out. Short of actually injuring another child they are allowed to do as they wish.

 

[Julylady]

My nieces were the exceptions in that they did not like the kids clubs on the Disney ships. When they were 4-7, it was too chaotic for them. They are both very petite and other kids were aggressive. One time when I was dropping them off, I saw a boy hit a girl. She started to cry and the counselor came over and told the girl to stop crying. I stepped in and said she had been hit and the counselor said it was okay since it was her brother. What??? My girls would say things like, "Kids are mean there." They were day care kids, so its not like they weren't used to this type of environment! My personal opinion was that the counselors were slow to step in and stop some negative behaviors.

When they got older, they liked some of the organized activities, but only wanted to stay for a specific activity and then leave (like cookie baking). They never stayed over an hour. On our last Disney cruise the oldest (then 10) said all they had for older kids was computer games and she could do those at home. Her sister (then 7) did enjoy doing the craft projects.

Last year we went on a RCCL cruise. Interestingly, they both said they liked the club on the Allure better than the Disney clubs. When asked what was different, the oldest said that the counselors played games with them. She liked playing Dodge ball and those sorts of active games. The youngest still enjoyed doing crafts. Even still, they never stayed at the club for more than an hour, usually once a day.

The moral of this story is that contrary to popular opinion, not all kids LOVE the Clubs. I think my girls liked highly organized activities with a lot of adult supervision.

 

[gilbertcruisers]

Our experience with kids club has been about 1 inch short of bedlam. There is a lot of screaming and running and generally overwhelming noise. While blatant misbehavior is not tolerated per se, a lot can slip by unseen. There are a LOT of children let loose.

If you have a child with ADHD, I would make sure you spend time with him during open hours to see how he interacts in that environment. It's the only way to see if it is too much for him.

 

[KT2038]

Hi everyone. My 7 year old son and I are getting ready to set sail next month on the fantasy, and I'm starting to get a little worried about the kids clubs. My son is very sociable and loves to play, I know he will have a great time and make lots of friends....my concern is about what (if any?) discipline procedures are used in the clubs.

My son is very sweet and sociable most of the time but he has ADHD, is very impulsive and has a temper. If he gets upset by something (normally this someone taking a toy from him, telling him he can't have a turn, and if they are beating him at a game he will say they are lying or cheating) he will throw a fit like he is 3 years old. Nicholas will scream and cry, hit, knock things over, etc. When he does this I (and his schools as well) will put him in time out. He will continue his fit and will get more upset and claim he didn't do anything wrong but he WILL come to time out (ie he doesn't run off or refuse to sit) and generally will calm down in a minute or two. After he finishes time out (we do 7 minutes for his age) he will readily apologize and pick up any mess he made from knocking things over or throwing things.

He is used to being away from me, I am a single mom and a nurse who works 10 hour shifts. My son is in daycare/school from 6:00am to 5:00pm Monday-Thursday and just school 7:30-2:30 on Fridays. He has these kinds of fits 2-3 times per week, more frequently at daycare since there is more play time there and that's generally when he gets upset.

He has come a long way...in the past I never would have even considered something like this. I'm just concerned since there is so much play in the kids clubs that this will happen and I'm unsure of how it will be handled. Will the kids clubs do a time out for him, just let him be/calm down on his own, or call me to handle it? Just letting it he is what worries me, we were attending a church that did that...every time I asked about his behavior when picking him up they would tell me he was fine, which wasn't the case. Once my son realized there weren't consequences for his behavior he escalated and ended up really injuring another child. But that was the first I ever heard of an incident from the childcare workers when really he'd been having difficulties every week. This was awhile ago and he has come a long way since but I don't want that to happen again.

Anyway can anyone tell me how discipline issues like this are handled in the clubs?? Thank you so much.

Hi! I am a current youth activities CM. If you let the counselors know about your concerns they will know to keep a closer eye on him. We do take children away from potentially negative or harmful situations and redirect them in their play but we do not put children in time out. If these tactics are not working we will call you to come and have a chat with your son or pick him up. There are rules and we definitely insist that children share and wait their turn and are constantly asking them to stop running and then the standard procedure if they do not follow these rules is to call parents. As long as the counselors are aware of his situation he should be fine. Enjoy your cruise

 

[Weedy]

We have sailed 11 times with Disney and have had a few minor problems but they have all been handled very well.
It's a very hard job for parents of kids with special needs. I know many people don't understand what you go through.
It's also very hard for the counselors to discipline large groups of kids that they don't know well.
My suggestions is to talk with the counselors before hand and let them know your sons issues. Then tell them and him if he misbehaves even a little bit that the counselors will call you and you will come to the club and he will have to go back to the cabin for a time out.
This way he knows going in what the consequences are, the counselors are not having to do the discipline, and you know the he will be punished if needed.
Have a great cruise. Disney will do their best to work with you child.

 

[scrapshappen]

OP: I thought you were talking about my DS for a minute there. He has very similar behaviors. Mine did just fine in the kids clubs at 7. He loved the freedom and playing with the other kids. If there was ever a problem in the club, we never heard about it. Hoping the same is true for you.

 

[Tiffylv]

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[gumbypee]

Op: I wouldn't put your kid in kids club. If you KNOW he throws fits and hurts kids why subject other kids to that?? Confused

 

[Tiffylv]

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[wajones2]

Go with the flow. Try open house, structured activities first before dropping off for free play. Start out with small amount of time and build up. Be very specific in directions to CMs, they will do everything possible to resolve without calling you.

DD enjoys structured activities and open house, but after 1 hour of free play in the lab she was done bc another child kept taking her toys....I wasn't there of course so I have no idea what happened. Only that she wouldn't go back again. I wished I had left it at 30 min or less increments, but live and learn.

 

[gumbypee]

Was waiting for that and surprised no one said it sooner. It is open to all kids including those with disabilities. My son has just as much right to be there as anyone else. However I am realistic about my son and will do whatever I can to help the situation, and if doesn't work out, it doesn't work out and he won't go back. But how is my son supposed to improve his behavior if he doesn't have a chance to practice? Also I am not subjecting the other kids to him. What a lesson to teach your kids..anyone who isn't perfect shouldn't be around you or included. I teach my son to have compassion for children who have difficulties.

Well if you knew someone would say it , why post??? If you posted this and then your kid hurt my kid? Hell to pay

 

[gumbypee]

Besides, you asked for opinions and I gave mine. Don't ask if you don't want to hear answers

 

[Tiffylv]

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[wajones2]

I'm a little confused on the open house. Is that just a time to come in and visit but not leave him? If there aren't any kids left there is it a real representation of what it looks like on a normal/non-open house time? I don't plan on leaving long periods of times. Certainly not while I am out on an excursion as I see some people do. I was going to leave it up to him for the most part as long as he isn't having issues. It sounds like from what you said they will also give you a call when your child is ready to leave. That makes me feel better. Thank you.[/QUO During open house the parents can stay with their children and play together. The daily navigator will list activities. You will see times where it says open house, a specific activity or just blank - blank typically is the more free play time. These vary by ship and by sailing. But check out DCL blog for past navigators - http://disneycruiselineblog.com/personal-navigators/


Yes they will call u

 

[lanejudy]

... It is open to all kids including those with disabilities. My son has just as much right to be there as anyone else. ...

You are correct that the Club/Lab (or any kids space onboard) is open to all kids, including those with disabilities. However, children participating in the secured programming must be able to function in the group environment that is present onboard. A disabled child who requires a 1:1 aide cannot participate in secured programming onboard. A child who cannot control himself, may need to learn more self-discipline. You know your child best. How does he do at school and daycare? Does he still have the same outbursts -- hitting and kicking and throwing things or hurting other kids? That wouldn't last long at DD's daycare, the family would be told to make different childcare arrangements; and such behavior gets a child removed from the classroom at school. I'd suggest you work with him, and maybe try to expose him to other group situations before you cruise.

... When he was 4, the preschool teacher at his daycare had him on a 3 strike policy where the first time was a warning, second time they called me and had me talk to him, and third time I had to pick him up. I only work 4 days/week and I was having to pick him up early nearly every day. Sometimes as early as 8:00am. I was about to lose my job. ...

Actually, that particular 3-strike policy worked to his advantage. He could act up and get mom's undivided attention, sometimes for a full day. Leaving daycare wasn't a punishment or negative consequence in his mind. Sounds like it was more of a reward, and he figured out how to earn it regularly. Sometimes we have to take a step back and view things from a different point of view to understand our kids.

I'm a little confused on the open house. Is that just a time to come in and visit but not leave him? If there aren't any kids left there is it a real representation of what it looks like on a normal/non-open house time? I don't plan on leaving long periods of times. Certainly not while I am out on an excursion as I see some people do. ...

Open house occurs the first afternoon, typically all afternoon until dinner -- with the exception of during the muster drill. After that, both the Club and the Lab will have at least one hour per day (so 2 hours between them) of scheduled Open House times. These are the only times parents are allowed. Many people bring kids of different ages, different abilities; some bring their kids because they want to actively participate with their child at the Club. Some Open House times will be during structured programming, and other times it will be free time (unstructured, choose your own activity). If you are at all uncertain about how your child will act in the Club/Lab, you should attend Open House with him before doing drop-off.

... I was going to leave it up to him for the most part as long as he isn't having issues. It sounds like from what you said they will also give you a call when your child is ready to leave. That makes me feel better. Thank you.

Your child will need to ASK for them to call you if he's ready to leave -- make sure he knows that. They won't randomly suggest it, nor will they call if he simply appears bored. He should know that he can ask them to call you at any time, without acting out. If he repeatedly acts out, he could get banned from secured programming.


If he's not having trouble with group situations at school or at daycare, he likely will be fine at the Club/Lab. It does almost sound like maybe he's learned the system, and that acting out gets mom's attention so he can leave an undesired situation (undesired or boring in his mind). Whether or not you think he can consciously recognize and appreciate long-term consequences, it would be definitely helpful for him to NOT get your immediate undivided attention after such situations occur. I agree that immediate consequences are best, but "nope, you can't watch your favorite tv show because you didn't behave at school today" will sink in after a few times.

I've been there. I'm not judging you, just trying to share experience. It can be hard when you are in the midst of the situation. Sounds like you are doing it by yourself, which puts even more stress on you. There are tough times, but also good ones; eventually the good times will outnumber the rough patches. Good luck!

Enjoy your cruise!

 

[eeyoreandtink]

Hi! I am a current youth activities CM. If you let the counselors know about your concerns they will know to keep a closer eye on him. We do take children away from potentially negative or harmful situations and redirect them in their play but we do not put children in time out. If these tactics are not working we will call you to come and have a chat with your son or pick him up. There are rules and we definitely insist that children share and wait their turn and are constantly asking them to stop running and then the standard procedure if they do not follow these rules is to call parents. As long as the counselors are aware of his situation he should be fine. Enjoy your cruise

How often do you ACTUALLY call parents to come get an unruly child? IMO in the brief times I have been into clubs to pick up DD I have seen counselors ASK kids to stop, share ect but not them actually enforcing any consequences for not complying. DD reports that this is the way it is all the time. No one is ever made to stop and those kids are there for long periods of tine exhibiting those behaviors.

 

[Happy100]

OP you can always have your son go to the club at times when there are less kids around if he would get overwhelmed with a lot of noise and chaos.

The busiest times are definitely in the evenings while the least is probably early mornings before noon. I am sure the CM who commented earlier could give more info on better times.

Have a wonderful cruise!

 

[jjje]

I feel like the counselors in the kids clubs aren't allowed to do much when a kid is misbehaving. On our most recent cruise there was a little boy who my daughter reported was always in the club and always causing trouble. He would take things from kids, throw stuff, swear, and say mean things to other kids. I asked my daughter what the counselors did and she said nothing, that if anyone complained they would be told to move away from the little boy. (Side note, I saw this kid at the pool a few times and he pushed my daughter on the water slide stairs and stole water toys from other kids and tried to hold his little brother under the water all while his mom played on her iPad and walked away to smoke. The lifeguards had to kick him out of the pool.) This was on a PC cruise so there were hardly any kids and even then counselors were able to do much to manage this problem child. I don't blame the counselors, I think their hands are really tied.

That said, I think all kids should get a chance to enjoy the clubs. Maybe an open house would be a good way to get a feel for the space and the way it works. Giving the counselors a heads up is a must. I have a child with special needs and I've found it very helpful to let the counselors know in advance so his behavior makes sense to them and they know better how to respond. Op, I hope you and you son have a wonderful cruise, whether you end up using the clubs or not.