Completely OT- Christmas

[la79al]

I am taking a break here from cleaning the kids bedrooms. And I have to get some advice. What do you get kids that have tons of toys yet don't play with them? Correct that, DSD plays with her Barbies, her LPS, her dolls, but I really don't want to add to any of those collections. DSS plays his PS2, but I don't want to add to that collection either. I really have problems. Even as far as stocking stuffers and Easter basket fillers. I am coming across so many things that have been played with once or not at all (Dr. Dreadful set he HAD to have, Easy Bake oven she REALLY needed, train set, cameras, a spy kit, furreal friends, various outside toys) and it's very frustrating. The things I bought because I thought they would really like them get touched as much as the stuff that was at the top of their lists. I have considered things like zoo memberships, etc but with split custody, we usually have a million other things planned on the weekends when we do have them. I don't really want to resort to things like gift cards, cash, clothing and sheet sets as they are still rather little and like opening fun presents but I'm really coming up empty here.

 

[WDWorBUST]

I can totally relate to this frustration. I have asked DH if we can re-decorate DD's bedroom for her birthday this year because it is November 1st and between it and Christmas she ends up with SO MUCH stuff - she can't possibly play with it all. But she is turning 4 and I think would be really excited about her room being all "fancy". Good luck figuring it all out.

 

[flipflop]

We have this issue as well, though our kids are younger than yours. There are 3 sets of grandparents who spend around $125 per kid on gifts for Christmas. With triplets that's about $1000 worth of toys all for kids of the same age. Plus what we buy and aunts/uncles/godparents..etc.

I have started to focus on activities and experiences that can be done together as a family (I do understand you said you have limited time) or "big ticket" outdoor items. Last year, we asked each of the grandparents to get a $100 gift certificate for swimming lessons as part of their present. My DH and I took the kids together to swimming lessons. For their birthdays, they got a little tikes slide set. We just got tickets for Playhouse Disney Live when it tours in our area in the fall. Are they old enough where they might enjoy going to see a broadway show (not sure where you're located in PA: in NY or touring in a city close to you) or disney on ice? Do they need bikes? Is there a special camp they'd like to go to in the summer for a week that you normally wouldn't send them to b/c its too expensive? Trip to disney (couldn't help myself)?

Btw, I love the room decorating idea.

 

[WDWorBUST]

Ooohhh....I love the swim lessons idea. DD took her first level swim lessons this summer and loved it!! I'm waiting until the fall session to let her go again - they didn't pass her to the next level - but just since they ended a couple of weeks ago she has made tremendous progress "practicing" with us at home. She may be ready to move up after all when she takes them next.

My sister is paying for my dd's gymnastics and it's great!! It's just for - but I may suggest she consider it a Christmas present if Sammi still wants to keep going after this fall session.

I'd love to hear more ideas. We want to build a new house in the next year or so but in the meantime I DO NOT have enough room for all these toys. And I'm really trying to focus more on spending time doing things as a family and less on material things.

 

[CraftyCrissy]

I have twins and then a third just 16 months younger (yes, you can get pregnant when your twins are infants, breastfeeding full time, you haven't had your period and your husband has fertility issues!) Sorry to digress. Anyway - our house is full of so much stuff that when we moved last summer, I vowed that no one was to ever buy another toy without first looking in the playroom and finding space for whatever it was! Great ideas we've (or my parents, in-laws, family) has come up with:

* Tickets to a fun show - Disney on Ice, Blues Clues - something on the stage. Wrap up the tickets with a spinner or some toy to represent the show to the kid.

* Payment for a kiddie class for a session - gymnastics, karate, music, Gymboree, Mommy & Me, art, Brownies, Boy Scouts (both run over $100 registration fees here), soccer registration, skating lessons, piano lessons - something you'd like them to try, uniforms for any of the above. Again, wrap it up with a water bottle, paint brushes, Scout handbook, etc.

* Gift Cards - Chuck E Cheese, Wiggles & Giggles - y'know all those local places with the giant jumpers and the $9 entrance fee? Paint your own pottery place, movies ($6.50 for kids + popcorn adds up fast), kiddie chef joint

* Store & Restaurant Gift Cards - my kids are now 6 and 5 and they really like to pick out their own things at stores for their rooms, little lamps, even toys, Happy Meals, Disney Store, Target, WalMart - anything with wide and varied selection of stuff, local video store, McDonalds, Subway, Pizza Hut - any place that you really don't like taking your kids to either nutrionally or financially! My daughter really loved getting a $5 gift certificate to Barnes & Noble.

Last year my sister had her 3rd baby and her house was inundated with toys. My niece's birthday is a month after Christmas and since she was just a baby, she asked all the immediate family instead of buying ANOTHER snow suit (because she had 2 perfect ones in storage) or ANOTHER Elmo toy (because the 4 zillion she has in her house from 8 years ago are the same as what is at the stores, etc.) could everyone give Claire money to go towards a new, beautiful swing set? We did - for Christmas and birthday. They had just moved into a new house and with all the money, Claire's 1st birthday pics of her climbing like a monkey were the best thank you we could see! So - don't be afraid to ask people to add to your kitty of something special you're saving for.

Of course, there is always the "College Fund" gift but that may not be fun for the kid to open. My parent's solution to this - a note to Mom & Dad about the donation (we have accounts set up for the kids that my uncle manages) but also a bunch of little, little things for the kids to open - doll clothes, new CD, funky outfit mom would never buy (my daughter is a fashion maven - I like Target!), new pair of shoes, sneakers that light up, etc. Nothing expensive but flashy with lots of kid appeal.

 

[sskem96]

We like activity type things too, but another thing to think of so they have an actual gift to open is a "disposable" gift.

I like to get the girls things like chap stick, sidewalk chalk, American Girl shampoo, body glitter, anything that they will enjoy while they have it, and when it's gone I don't have to deal with it anymore.

Also, if they have trouble keeping their stuff picked up because they have too much, invest in some neat organizers that they would like, give them as a gift, and then help them organize their room.

 

[portia9]

I have 4 kids under 11 and I have really clamped down on the toys. For their Santa sacks I have already bought hackeysacks, a huge water pistol, a very small Lego thing, I can't remember what else but not much LOL. I am going to get them some craft stuff and maybe even gasp clothes

Usually under the tree they get two sizeable presents but this year because we are going to Disney next year I have told them they will get one present and I will give them money so they can spend it at Disneyworld.

Also I think books are always great gifts.

Yvette

 

[QueenGoblin]

We have this problem too. Our DDs are the only grandchildren on either side. The last thing we need are more plastic toys or plushes, especially for younger DD since she has all of her big sis's toys and she doesn't care yet that they are hand me downs. I am thinking we will ask people to contribute towards lessons/college fund, etc. and just get a small token gifts for the girls to unwrap. I can honestly say my favorite gifts were books after I hit around 8 years old, and local libraries are often very happy to get them as donations if your kids grow out of them later on. My DD also enjoys having her art supplies "refreshed" (new crayons, paints, etc.) DD also enjoys board games and those can make a nice family evening.
Keep the suggestions coming. DD#2 turns one in December, then there is Christmas, then DD#1 turns 5 in January. I am still shoveling the plastic around from last year and I don't need another load to arrive this winter!!!

ETA: Those of you who have gotten people to contribute to a fund/buy tix/pay for lessons, etc. rather than arrive with armloads of toys, how did you go about doing it? I'm pretty sure my family knows me well enough for them to know I am not being grabby or whatever, but I'm afraid it could come across as negative if not done carefully.

 

[ksumn1]

I just finished cleaning out the kids room on last Sunday. We had to move the bed around so I used it as an opportunity to do a little "weeding" I told both girrls they could sell the toys they didn't want in a yard sale my DM's having in a month. They got so excited I had to make sure they weren't getting rid of it all. Ended up with 1 10 gallon garbage bag of stuffed animals and a big box full of toys. They have to use the $$ to but something together. So far, it's either a hampster, or save up for a trampoline.

But I know as soon as Christmas rolls around my DM will try to go overboard like usual. The last couple of years she's bought clothes, but my older DD's closet and dresser is overfolowing AND I have a huge storage box of swaters and winter stuff in the storage building. I really like the idea of lessons or an outing. Both DD's love music, so maybe a ticket to a show or concert. I've alreasy planned to get DD Hannah Montana tickets for her Bday in Nov or for Christmas if she comes to Atlanta or Birmingham.

As far as asking for specific things...just tell them. My family always asks what they need or what they want. I'll tell one person shoes, another panties etc. I also tell them about stuff they want but I won't get. (Bead sets, annoyingly loud toys, Polly Pockets) If it's family, just sit down anf tell them your reasoning. I don't think it'll hurt anyones feelings. Now if they actually follow your wishes is another matter.

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

We do the activity thing for DD's bday presents. We get her stuff for Christmas (but not all toys- we get clothes and shoes and wrap them too). However, we don't do any presents for her bday. At this age, she doesn't even notice that there wasn't anything to open from mom and dad and she gets the fun of an extra activity day with us. Last year we went to the circus and Disney on Ice. This year we are taking her to see Wicked (don't ask...we know, our kid is weird...she asked to go).

 

[workinmomof2]

Boy can I relate. My DSs bdays are mid Oct early Nov. I cannot believe the amount of toys that we get. I have asked everyone to try to buy something that is not a toy but you would not believe the grief that I get. Kids are only young once blah blah blah. It Christmas why shouldn't we buy them a toy blah blah blah. Even DH I told him Santa is going to cut down this year and find some constructive things to give. He blew up. They each have to have at least 7 toys according to him. We could have college paid for at this rate. I really wished more charities would take used toys. I have only find a local one by me and all they would take were the baby toys. At last I was able to get rid of some. Good luck to the rest of you.

 

[LJRJR]

I agree with all of you. I have three little ones and there are only so many dolls/cars a child can play with. We really limit things around here. My in laws always ask what they can give and really understand that these kids dont need any more things. First of all, they always give a savings bond $25 I thingk. This year I think I will ask them to give the kids a ticket to a local childrens theater, and my MIL can come with us. Disney dollars is also a great idea, as well as payments towards a lesson (dance, swim) or maybe even movie tickets. If someone gives my kids a present, I try my hardest to tell them "dont open it now", there are too many pieces (If I can use that line) and them sometimes I return it to the store. I do really feel bad for those who have families who dont understand, in that case I would just say, dont feel bad about throwing out the toys in the garbage. I always feel that a cluttered home takes so much extra time to clean up (not to say that mine is not cluttered, but I try to keep it under control). One time a friend of mine gave my DD a stuffed "life size" pony, needless to say "I sent it out to pasture" (and I felt really bad), its been two years and no-one has even asked where it is.

 

[kribit]

My kids just turned 5 and we were going down that road. I still think they have too much even though we try to limit.

I know this is boring, but DH and I buy a few things and also buy a savings bond in the same amount. My parents (who are the typical "spoilers") buy clothes and gift cards to museums, theme parks, movies, and restaurants which works out really well.

 

[mericletwins]

I have twins and then a third just 16 months younger (yes, you can get pregnant when your twins are infants, breastfeeding full time, you haven't had your period and your husband has fertility issues!) Sorry to digress.QUOTE]

I agree, but with minor changes. Chabge your spacing to 14 months apart and change fertility issues to me instead of DH!


Our solution to the toys.

Summer camps from the grandparents. We also do for birthdays and then they just give them a small toy to open. This summer we have done Creative Arts camp, Authors camp, Super Science camp and Zoo camp.

Movie tickets with mico popcorn and candy.

Waterpark tickets.

Tickets to local attractions. We live between the Wildwood and Ocean City boardwalks, so tickets to th erides are easy.


Gift certificates to hotels where you like to stay or that have some special attraction to kids. We got GC's to The Great Wolf Lodge and Willow Valley Resort (in Lancaster Pa. has a little indoor water play area-we LOVE it there)

Disney Dollars


Wawa (or the like) or Starbucks gift cards, becaus ethe kids love to get hot chocolate from these places.



You said that you have joint custody and you are always on the go when you have them. Think about the things that you do and try to turn that into a gift. Favorite restaurant etc.

We also are big into disposable items in the stockings. Anything that can be used up! Food is always a good one! Also, small clothing items that they need anyway. Socks, boxers/underwear, bathing suits if a trip to somehwere warm is coming or that has an indoor pool. Goggles for the same. I'll try to think of more specifics as I wake up more.

 

[mericletwins]

ETA: Those of you who have gotten people to contribute to a fund/buy tix/pay for lessons, etc. rather than arrive with armloads of toys, how did you go about doing it? I'm pretty sure my family knows me well enough for them to know I am not being grabby or whatever, but I'm afraid it could come across as negative if not done carefully.

I just tell them that we are drowning in toys and they haven't been playing with them much anymore. Which is true, BTW, so I say that they really like, camp, lessons, tickets to..., etc and let them choose. I say I prefer "disposable" gifts. Something that can be used up. No one has gotten offended yet. At least, not that I can tell.
My kids are 8, 8 and 7 and they really do not play that much with toys.

One of my DD's favorite gifts when she was three I think, was a box of donuts my mother had bought at the store. DD was in a donut pahse. She kept jumping up and down and yelling "Donits! Donits!" You would think she had won the lottery. No need to be extravagant, just get what they really like. My DS wanted chapstick one year, that is all he asked for, so Santa put about 50 different Chapsticks in his stocking!

 

[tweedlemom]

Cd's along with a personal cd player wouldn't take up too much room.

 

[mericletwins]

One thing I will fill up the house with is books. I will buy as many, and more than, they want/can read. There are always books under the tree and in the stocking. DVD's take little room as do CD's. In another couple of years we'll invest in iPods probably and then you get the iTunes GC's for the stocking.

 

[flipflop]

ETA: Those of you who have gotten people to contribute to a fund/buy tix/pay for lessons, etc. rather than arrive with armloads of toys, how did you go about doing it? I'm pretty sure my family knows me well enough for them to know I am not being grabby or whatever, but I'm afraid it could come across as negative if not done carefully.

To me this is one arena that having divorced parents really helps. My mom and stepdad and dad and stepmom always ask for a list. My mom and dad are used to "sharing" lists from when my brother and I were younger and both get the idea that no person wants to be the one always buying shoes, underwear, etc. So with my parents, they got a list. We asked them each for a gift card for swimming (and they each came with us to a lesson or two to play with the kids in the pool) and asked that they each get one toy per child (or a few smaller toys) and then get books/cds/clothes with the remaining money that they would spend. The first year instead of swimming lessons we asked for a contribution to the college fund. Neither complained and both totally understood why we didn't want $600 worth of toys.

My MIL (FIL doesn't say much on this topic), on the other hand, is of the mindset that she should be able to buy whatever she wants, children are for spoiling, with no consideration for anyone else. Last year she actually asked for a list (whew!) but then wasn't happy with what was on it. We asked her for the same things we asked for from my parents - gift card, a limit of 1 toy per kid and then other stuff like books/cds/clothes. There were 3 issues involved that we had to try to explain to her 1) we have three kids all the same age and sometimes that means that a toy that is safe for one kid at 18 months is not safe for us (think doll stroller or grocery cart) 2) no one wants to be the boring grandparent and we don't want a house full of toys so it would be nice if everyone got some toys and some boring stuff and 3) we don't want to spend days at the store returning/exchanging duplicate items from grandparents. She didn't really "get" our points and my DH finally, after the 6th discussion about her wanting to get my DD a doll stroller, told her that if she wanted to get a stroller that she could but 1) she asked what we wanted and we had made it clear we didn't think it is age appropriate in light of our circumstances and 2) it would either get returned or go in the attic until DD was old enough to play with it.

So, the longwinded answer to your question is to know your audience and proceed accordingly. We make sure to tell everyone how grateful we are for their generosity, help with the kids, etc frequently even when it isn't Christmas. The issues we had, had nothing to do with being perceived as "grabby."

 

[mom2aredhead]

Let me preface this by saying I ADORE my MIL...seriously could not ask for a better one. So this is not one of those typical MIL rants. My one and only gripe about her, however, is the STUFF. She is a shopper, and if it's a bargain, she'll buy it, whether she needs it or not. She has a house FULL of...well...CRAP...and a lot of it ends up in my house.
She has 9 grandchildren, my son being the youngest. For Christmas, everyone gets a stocking filled with the things that were in CVS for 75% off the previous Christmas - ditto for everyone's Easter Baskets each year. This past Christmas I actually "sold" her some things that I had already bought for my son so she could give them to him and at least they were things he asked for or I wanted to get for him, so we only got 1/2 the amount of other stuff. I've tried to reason with her, but to no avail, and frankly it just isn't worth starting a fight over. She very rarely comes over (another reason I love her ) so she doesn't see what's there and what's been tossed/donated/stored for a rainy day. It's her money being wasted, not mine.

 

[flipflop]

This past Christmas I actually "sold" her some things that I had already bought for my son so she could give them to him and at least they were things he asked for or I wanted to get for him, so we only got 1/2 the amount of other stuff. I've tried to reason with her, but to no avail, and frankly it just isn't worth starting a fight over. She very rarely comes over (another reason I love her ) so she doesn't see what's there and what's been tossed/donated/stored for a rainy day. It's her money being wasted, not mine.

I am actually trying the "selling" technique this year. If my MIL rarely came over, I'd probably lover her too.