College Kids home--boundaries?

[Ladygoldenhair]

You could do some reverse psychology:
Note on the table reads
Hi, out with friends, don't wait up.

 

[Happyjen27]

I'll post from the child's point of view here, since that's where I most relate.

I lived with my mom for 3 of the 4 years of college. This was made possible only because the day I graduated high school, she treated me like an adult. Now, it is important to know that I am the 7th child. I can't say it was this easy on her first or second when they came home from college. But, along the way, she learned a lot.

All through college, my mom did not wait up for me. That is not to say that she didn't hear me come in, as quiet as I tried to be. That is not to say that she maybe didn't sleep a little better once she heard me. But, she did go to bed at her normal bedtime once I graduated high school.

My kids being 7 years old now, I hope I have the courage to be the same, but, there's no way to know. I had an awesome role model though.

 

[Iowajes]

When I was in college, if I was staying at home, my curfew was 2 am, same as it was my last year of high school.
My mother did not wait up, but she required me to come in and wake her up to tell her I was home. (I suspect that she didn't sleep that well waiting for me to be home...)

Even though bars close at 2 am, there weren't that many times that I was back at home and going out to bars. It wasn't really a problem. I had that kind of freedom in my regular life when I wasn't at home. Most of my friends had similar situations with their families, or I would just stay at a friend's apartment if they went to the university in my hometown if we planned to be out later than that.

 

[TaylorEar]

My Mom waited up. Heck, I'm in my late 30's and she still sometimes waits up when I visit!!

Still, if I happen to go out when visiting my mom (now it's all moms leaving their kids behind so it's not like we're out til the wee hours of the morning - 10:00 is late for us) she still asks me to wake her when I get home.

Also in my 30's... my mom is the same way! If I go out with friends when I'm visiting my mom/hometown she always wants me to wake her up and let her know when I get in. I don't have a curfew and she doesn't need/want the details of what I'm doing, but she wants me to pop my head in and just whisper "I'm home!" and she will usually wake up and say "ok!". I think for her it's more a thing of not being able to fall asleep when she knows that at some point her front door will open.

Maybe just go to bed and tell your kids to pop in and wake you up to let you know they're back?

 

[bswift]

I don't think you should feel bad about waiting up, but don't give them a curfew! I'm 21 (in Australia where the drinking age is 18 btw) and my dad still waits up for me, or at least wants to know when I'll be home. Personally I really appreciate it. I don't go out that often so it's not like he's having to do this every weekend though. I just feel a lot safer coming home knowing that someone is expecting me and will notice if I don't make it home by a certain time. I usually text him when I start making my way home with an estimation of how long I'll be. At that point he usually turns a light on near the front door so I don't have to fumble around in the dark.

We had a horrific murder here a few years ago where the woman was taken on her way home after a night out. She was only a few blocks from home and her husband was waiting up for her. I still think about it every time I come home alone at night. I know it's not nice to think about these things but it's just a lot better to be safe than sorry!