college graduation

[Kath2003]

I graduated in July. My parents didn't get me anything - they paid my tuition, that was reward enough! We did go out for dinner to a nice restaurant after the ceremony though.

My extended family? Most sent cards. My aunt that we're closest to sent a small plush "graduation" dog. My grandmother sent me $40. I didn't expect anything, so it was nice.

I'm graduating from my masters next January and don't expect anything. The aunt we're closest too will probably send a card and we'll probably go out for dinner after the ceremony again, but somewhere less expensive. If I go to the ceremony that is - long, boring: I took a book but two hours of people's names and applauding gets real old real fast. Everyone was fed up - I was in the last 40 of the entire year to graduate (7 ceremonies over 5 days,500 students at each, and I was in the last 40!). Been there, done that, worn the dodgy hat...

 

[daisyduck123]

This may sound really rude to some people, but in my family it has even been spoken out loud that "graduation ceremonies are kind of like a dentist appointment, something you just have to suffer through".

I skipped both of my college graduations..for my Bachelor's degree & then my Master's. There was no way I was going to make my family sit thru those!!
I just picked my diplomas up at the main office. One of the diplomas even had some kind of "Honors" award attached.

 

[Lanshark]

Plan a nice BBQ, as you mentioned, and invite everyone. By all means, celebrate. It is a huge accomplishment that should be recognized.

 

[Saphire]

This may sound really rude to some people, but in my family it has even been spoken out loud that "graduation ceremonies are kind of like a dentist appointment, something you just have to suffer through". I don't think that makes us horrible, weird, or classless, it's just a different way of looking at things. If I got an invitation to a big bash for a college graduation, I might wonder what the problem was that made graduating such a big accomplishment. Flame away if you must - I've just never heard of a big deal being made.

So when should we gather in life...only at weddings and funerals? I am in no way calling you "horrible,weird, or classless", but I would like to know, is there no other special event in life that we should gather together and celebrate? I feel like life is hard work and often a grind, and if I get a chance to celebrate with family and friends in a festive atmosphere, I welcome it! While I don't expect family to come to the ceremony (is that the dentist appt. analogy you were referring to?), I would hope that they would want to come to the party!
__________________

 

[Tiggeroo]

This may sound really rude to some people, but in my family it has even been spoken out loud that "graduation ceremonies are kind of like a dentist appointment, something you just have to suffer through". I don't think that makes us horrible, weird, or classless, it's just a different way of looking at things. If I got an invitation to a big bash for a college graduation, I might wonder what the problem was that made graduating such a big accomplishment. Flame away if you must - I've just never heard of a big deal being made.

I won't flame because it is a personal choice. But I find it odd and sad. Saying that having a big college graduation problem means you have a problem with your life is just off. How bout wow daughter you worked hard for four years, we want to celebrate that accomplishment and send you into the world with a hug and a good luck.

 

[annegal]

DD will be graduating college May 12 with honors in Elementary Education, minoring in reading. We plan on taking the family to a nice restaurant afterward. We do this both for high school and college graduations. !!!

We do this also. I do know people that have a big Open House sort of thing. I guess it depends on families. However, all the relatives sent checks for both HS and College graduation.

 

[lajones81]

My sister and I had a family BBQ at our house when she graduated high school and I graduated college (same year). Now, we are both graduating again (my sister from college and I'm earning my Master's!) and I hope we have another party! It was loads of fun!

It sounds like a celebration is in order!!

 

[Tiggeroo]

well if none of the extended family wants to go to the party I'll take her out to dinner, just the IF.

 

[disykat]

I won't flame because it is a personal choice. But I find it odd and sad. Saying that having a big college graduation problem means you have a problem with your life is just off. How bout wow daughter you worked hard for four years, we want to celebrate that accomplishment and send you into the world with a hug and a good luck.

I did not say that having a big graduation party means you HAVE a problem, I said I might wonder because I've never heard of anyone doing that. It seems "odd" to me, in that no one I've ever known has had one. There is a big difference. I was trying to give you the viewpoint of someone who feels like your relatives do - surprised by the idea of a big family party for a college graduation.

By all means, if you want to have a party do it. Maybe everyone will love it and want to have parties for all their kids as they graduate. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have a party - just as there's nothing wrong (or sad) about people not wanting to have a big party.

I guess I thought you would be interested in another viewpoint to help you understand why your relatives might feel the way they do. You did ask "is it normal in your family to celebrate college graduations?" For some people the answer would be NO. It's not that they're totally against the concept of it, it's that it's not something they've seen done.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

First, congrats to your daughter!!

I am also graduating in May with honors with a degree in early childhood education.
That day, my parents and grandparents are taking me out to a late lunch/early dinner (probably olive garden)
and then that night im going out with some family/firemen family.
We are having a party sometime this summer as well--Family and my firemen family (dads a firefighter so ive grown up in the firehouse) will be there...Its normal around here to have college graduation parties--usually they are bigger than the hs..

I hope everything is worked out and your daughter enjoys her day! it is a huge accomplishment!

 

[MrsPete]

Did another relative not get to go to college, or maybe flunked out?

Exactly what I was thinking! Does celebrating someone else's college graduation remind these people of what they (or their kids) didn't do?

Personally, I wouldn't throw a huge, all-out, bring-presents everyone! type of party. Depending upon the time/place of the graduation ceremony, I'd plan a lunch or dinner for any family who wanted to attend. I'd make it casual: a nice meal and a decorated cake (at home, of course). I wouldn't decorate specially for the event, and I certainly wouldn't expect that everyone would bring gifts - but I think high school and college graduations deserve a family celebration.

 

[crz4mm2]

My DIL to be just graduated in Dec. Her parents took a group of us out to a nice dinner to celebrate. That is what she and they wanted. We all gave her gifts (money) and were happy to do so! I think a college degree is a wonderful thing to celebrate.

 

[Galahad]

Fewer than 25% of the country graduate with a 4 year degree. It's a huge deal - much bigger than a H.S. graduation. Whoop it up! No matter who shows up! Congrats to her!!!!!

 

[Lynn CC]

I think graduation is a HUGE accomplishment and should be merited as such.

We had a huge family celebration for DS's HS graduation and we will do the same for his college grad. DH already has the restaurant booked and it's not for another 2 years! Can you tell he's an only....LOL

These milestones have to be celebrated, they only live once, what's wrong with your siblings?
Maybe you could entice them by having a Graduation Clambake? I've had a Clambake before (DS's first holy communion),here on the Cape with a great turnout and everyone seemed to enjoy the food and celebration.

I can give you the recipes for a "Clamboil" that is so easy and delicious and feeds as many as you like, if your interested.

Seriously, we have "wedding type" get togethers for every occassion possible for our son. We try to make each one very special and different each time.
If they don't want to come then you can make it a small celebration and very special for her just the same.

I would let them know what it means to your daughter and how hard she's worked.
I'll be curious to see what the end result will be!

 

[Cindy B]

Did another relative not get to go to college, or maybe flunked out?

My guess is that the relatives don't want to celebrate your DD's accomplishment because they don't want to hurt some other relatives feelings (poor little Johnny or Mary)?? Good grief!! I would say "too bad" for the relative that didn't make it, but your DD deserves a party.

Thats the first thing I thought of.

 

[Keli]

Wow, your family has it completely backwards in my book. Nearly everyone graduates from hs and while I don't want to minimize that accomplishment I will say that college is A LOT more work than hs. You've got to really want it to attend four years of college and graduate at the end. Nobody just goes with the flow and ends up with a diploma there. I'd say that graduation is worth a big 'ol party and I'd let my family know how important it is to my dd and to me.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Is it normal in your family to not celebrate college graduation.

I will throw a party, send out the invites and then hope for the best.

Geesh my 10th grader is doing an English project comparing 2 colleges. She is on the "major part". Heck I am getting confused reading it. I may need a party when this project is done.

Congrats to your DD!!!!

 

[WDWVillain]

nobody in my family could care less that I am graduating in May..it bothers me, because of what I have been thru, and I am not 20 something. So I went out and got myself something.....to heck with everyone else!

 

[olena]

My, nor my husband's, family celebrated much when we graduated college. To be honest, I'm one of the few in my family that finished college. My husband's family has a few more degrees but I don't know how the others celebrated, since he was the baby of the family and it was before my time.

This is something I have pondered, since Chris is about a year away from finishing law school. I know his parents are coming for the hooding ceremony. My parents may come. I don't know about siblings. Some good friends may make the trip down. One co-worker he has tele-commuted with for a couple of years and never met in person is definitely coming. (They've been through the grinder together at the tele-com that employs them.) No matter what family does, this is a big deal to us, since our lives have been on hold for years now for school. After graduation, we're planning a trip to celebrate. I wasn't sure what else to do. A party? A reception? I'm thinking a congratulatory dinner with those who make the trip to be there will probably be the plan.

 

[powellrj]

maybe its a regional thing, but we have never been invited to a college graduation party and almost all of my family has graduated from college and most with advanced degrees.

Around here, most people just have high school graduation parties. I have read on other threads that people have big parties for 5th and 8th grade graduations too. We have never been invited to one of those either.

I remember we went to DHs college graduation, but there was no party and I know when my DB graduated from college and grad school and then when he got his MBA, he didn't even go to the ceremony, so there was no party.