college graduation

[Tiggeroo]

my dd is graduating college with honors a degree in bio, minor in chem and forensic certificate. I've spoken to my bros. sis's and parents. None of them think this is something to celebrate. One said, I did all this for hs graduation. I got nice gifts for kids for that.
We're not talking about gifts, dd is not greedy. Although she'd probably appreciate $25. in a card. My sis's both live out of state but they'll be here for a week vacay in the summer. I thought I'd have a bbq or something, or we could go out to dinner at some inexpensive family place, etc. Nobody seems interested.They say it's not normal to do that for college. I feel bad for my dd as she wants a party. She has a small group of good friends and can do something with them, but she wanted the big party her friends all seem to get with all their relatives making a fuss.
Is it normal in your family to not celebrate college graduation.

 

[The Mayor]

Celebrate...graduating college is a great accomplishment and should be celebrated...we had a huge party for my two children

 

[wdwmom2]

DD will be graduating college May 12 with honors in Elementary Education, minoring in reading. We plan on taking the family to a nice restaurant afterward. We do this both for high school and college graduations. And we always get a cake decorated with their photo printed with the icing. Just a nice way of saying, "Congratulations" !!!

 

[Tiggeroo]

You can't really have a huge party when none of your family wants to come. I'll probably throw a party, send out invites and maybe they'll all feel bad and show up. They have kids who will be graduating soon and they'll want the same, I know. It does sometimes seem exhausting with 15 nieces and nephews, I know. But I live at the shore and everybody can come here for lunch and then go walk the boards or go to the beach.

 

[4nana]

Congratualtions to your DD!!!

Definitely worthy of a celebration! What a shame they are not wanting to help your DD celebrate her big accomplishment. We gave each of our four children sizable HS graduation cookout parties. When they graduated from college, we again celebrated in fashion, either a planned celebration at home with family and friends or their choice of gathering at a nice restaurant. I know all families are different, but yes, we love, enjoy and recognize our children's achievements, no matter their age, from KG graduation on gets recognized w/party, guests, cake, balloons, gifts, etc. Matter of fact, we recently celebrated our 40yo DD's big promotion at work with a family dinner! Now I love they see fit to carry on the tradition and do the same for our grands!!

 

[Tiggeroo]

I believe life is short and the good things should be celebrated. This doesn't always mean money. Like a said a cookout with burgers salads, music, is great. It's just, hey we're proud of you.
I did offer her a limo and some money to take her friends to AC instead.

 

[rie'smom]

You can't really have a huge party when none of your family wants to come. I'll probably throw a party, send out invites and maybe they'll all feel bad and show up. They have kids who will be graduating soon and they'll want the same, I know. It does sometimes seem exhausting with 15 nieces and nephews, I know. But I live at the shore and everybody can come here for lunch and then go walk the boards or go to the beach.

That's what I would do. Guilt works really well .

 

[Tiggeroo]

yeah i might send them out now so they are there good and early.

 

[Saphire]

Awww, Tiggeroo, I'm sorry people are being so gloomy about attending a party. I think it is a wonderful honor that your DD has graduated from college, and with such a signifigant major! Bio is no small accomplishment, congrats to her!! I think you should have that party, and send out the invitations. Perhaps people will change their mind. You know, life doesn't give us all that many opportunities for big parties, but I say grab them and celebrate them when you are given the chance. Again, congratulations to your daughter!

 

[daisyduck123]

Did another relative not get to go to college, or maybe flunked out?

My guess is that the relatives don't want to celebrate your DD's accomplishment because they don't want to hurt some other relatives feelings (poor little Johnny or Mary)?? Good grief!! I would say "too bad" for the relative that didn't make it, but your DD deserves a party.

 

[Caradana]

Such a weird and classless reaction by them. Are they jealous?

 

[Tiggeroo]

nah, no issues with other relatives. All the neices and nephews old enough are in college. They just figure my dd is the oldest and I think they don't want to set a precedent of needing to gift out another round of things. I've told them she really doesn't care about the gifts, although I think she'd be hurt if she didn't get a card with a little something in it. My sis has six kids. This year the second will be graduating hs. She will have somebody graduating hs or college every year for the next ten years and she lives 15hrs away from most of us. I think that's part of the problem. These other siblings live near me and like I said they'll be here anyway. I offered to combine dd's party with a celebration for my Chicago sis's son who graduates from hs for those who can't get to her home for that.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

I can't imagine not wanting to celebrate a relative's accomplishment!

I had a lovely graduation party, along with my (now) DH. Our parents had a luncheon for us in a private room of a restaurant, and both of our families attended. We both have small families, but everyone came (a grandmother, aunt and uncle, cousin, etc.). When my cousin graduated college, his parents took everyone out to dinner. It's just what we do!

Maybe you can look for another way to celebrate? Are you near Cape May? Lots of great restaurants there! (Is Godmothers still there? I used to love it, but we usually go to the Lobster House now.)

 

[donald&daisy]

When I graduated from college last May we didn't do anything major. Just a few relatives came to my ceremony then we ate some lunch at Red Lobster. But it was fun and I really appreciated it. It meant alot to me that they actually came to the ceremony. I sent out a lot of announcements and people would send 5 or 10 bucks...it is a nice gesture. Plus I imediately started law school in the Fall so they know I will graduate at least one more time (hopefully!). Really it means the most just to get a card saying they are proud of you.

 

[DawnCt1]

Its a HUGE deal. Your family is definately "misinformed". I have been to college graduation parties that look like wedding receptions. Have it as big or as small as you and your DD want. Invite them and if they don't come, its their loss.

 

[Tiggeroo]

hehe If I decide to buy dinner everybody will show up, including the kids and I'll end up buying dinner for 50. If I know how many I am considering PF Changs or a big family style pizza/pasta place.

 

[LBelle]

Such a weird and classless reaction by them. Are they jealous?

Well put!!! I agree 100%!!! What's NOT to celebrate???

By the way... Congratulations to your daughter!!!

 

[Hannathy]

I have never been to a college graduation party. Most people I know or are related to have H.S. parties but not college. You could always just have a cook out at your house and invite everyone and have a graduation cake if you want but no one in my family, or my husbands or any of our friends or neighbors ever had a college party. My nephew just graduated last yr and I don't remember him mentioning going to any parties. I think he and a few friends went to the shore for a weekend and had a "very good time" but no parties. I gave him a nice HS gift but didn't get him anything for college, I didn't even send a card. Anymore college is just kinda expected for most people IMO.

 

[Tiggeroo]

my dd and her cousins will be the first generation of college grads. The ones who have graduated besides her did this later as adults piecemeal. So that's part of it.

 

[disykat]

I've never been to a college graduation party either. Most people I know had their parents and maybe grandparents and a friend or two come to the ceremony and then went out to dinner with everyone. That's what we did for mine. Everyone was busy moving, etc. Maybe some people had family parties planned later, but I never heard of any.

This may sound really rude to some people, but in my family it has even been spoken out loud that "graduation ceremonies are kind of like a dentist appointment, something you just have to suffer through". I don't think that makes us horrible, weird, or classless, it's just a different way of looking at things. If I got an invitation to a big bash for a college graduation, I might wonder what the problem was that made graduating such a big accomplishment. Flame away if you must - I've just never heard of a big deal being made.

I got a gift or card in the mail from most of my relatives for high school graduation. Only my grandparent gave me something for college graduation. I didn't expect any different. That's just how my family did things. When the kids were little there were gift occasions like birthdays, etc., but after high school graduation, the only occasions that were considered gift occasions were weddings and babies. I consider that normal.