Clingy Friends (long vent) Long Overdue Update...

[Tiziminchac]

I'm sorry this is so long, I just had to vent. First a little background...

There's this guy I know who's crazy about WDW like I am. He used to be a neighbor of mine (luckily he now lives across town), that's how I met him. I can't remember how we started talking to each other, but Epcot came up in the conversation and we realized we had something in common and we started a friendship. For a few months everything was cool. We even went to Epcot together once. I love the place and will go with just about anybody. All I need is an excuse. Then he started to get kind of clingy. And the more I got to know him the less I wanted to be around the guy. He was constantly calling me, inviting me to lunch. Stuff like that. Like we were best friends or something. He would even tell me I was his best friend. I never told him he was mine. It's hard to explain. It got to the point where I started making up excuses not to talk to him or spend time with him. I have a hard time saying no to people so I'll usually just say "we'll see" when someone asks me to do something I don't wanna do.

Fast forward to last week. Some of you may know that Disney lifted it's block out dates for it's Florida Resident Seasonal Passes. This guy is on the phone calling me. Three or four times a day. Message after message, "let's go, we can go!" After a few days of this I finally call him back. You think he'd get the hint. He asks me if I want to go with him to Epcot and I tell him I can't, even though I want to go to Epcot (not with him), because I have to work, which is true. But then I made the fatal mistake of saying "we'll see" just to get him off the phone.

Now today, when I get home from work there is a message on my machine from him telling me it's important that I call him right away. So I call. He asks me if I'm working this weekend. And I say yeah. And I'm working all next week. So at the earliest I will be able to go is next weekend. Now I admit that I've done this to him before. You know, I kept putting him off and eventually blowing him off and going without him.

He starts getting all mad at me. Bringing up how I go with my other friends and not him. And I never return his calls. Blah, blah, blah! I come back with "what are you, my girlfriend or something?" I mean give me a break. Actually, the way he's been hounding me lately had me wondering if maybe he did like me or something. But I don't go for guys. I like women and he knows that. Some of my other friends told me they think he's gay. I don't see it, who knows?

Here's the kicker. He tells me he made reservations for us both (two rooms) at Pop Century for this Sunday night because he thought we were going up to WDW this Sunday! And now he has to pay for the rooms because it's too late to cancel. I'm like "Dude who told you to do that? I never said I was going this weekend. I don't know what to tell you. You don't need me to have fun, go on up without me." I can tell he's really getting mad on the phone and inside I'm thinking now would be the time to tell him to leave me alone from now on. This whole thing just rubbed me wrong. Then he says "I have $5,000 in the bank and when I get back I'm gonna bury you!" I didn't know what he meant so I asked him what he meant. And again he says it, "When I get back I'm gonna bury you!" Then he hangs up on me.

I sat there for a minute wondering what just happened. And I started to get mad. So I called him back. But he wouldn't pick up. Then I called again. Again he wouldn't pick up. So I left a message telling him to be a man and answer his phone and let's talk about this and if he didn't call me back tonight then just don't bother calling again. But isn't that strange? I'm still a little mad about it. By the way, he never called back. I hope I never hear from him again. But I wonder if I should worry about him coming around on Monday. We'll if you still reading thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Rozzie]

geepers, is this guy safe? does he usually so weird things when he gets mad? gosh at the beginning of the post I kinda felt sorry for him, kinda like a lost puppy, ...but I can't believe the end! hope things get better for you.

 

[OceanAnnie]

That is so bizarre! I'd be tempted to call the police and report this fellow for threatening to kill you. At least it would be on record.

The guy sounds like a nutjob. How would he know you go with other friends and not him? If he is on to you not returning your calls and is still so persistent, he is too strange.

I'd be looking out my window & over my shoulder on Monday.

Good luck! Post an update on Monday.

 

[Tiziminchac]

That is so bizarre! I'd be tempted to call the police and report this fellow for threatening to kill you. At least it would be on record.

The guy sounds like a nutjob. How would he know you go with other friends and not him? If he is on to you not returning your calls and is still so persistent, he is too strange.

I'd be looking out my window & over my shoulder on Monday.

Good luck! Post an update on Monday.

Once he called and asked me to go with him to WDW with him and I told him I was just there with someone else. So I didn't feel like going again right then. And I've been thinking about reporting this to the police. Just in case.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Yeah. Call me crazy, but I would even ask to have a cruiser come by the neighborhood a few times the evening you get off work. (Or whatever fits your schedule.) If you can ask for cruisers to swing by for speeders looks like you could ask for something like this too. Just to scare him if he is out your way.

He sounds so volatile and manipulative. Dangerous combination.

To make reservations when he knows you are putting him off is so repelling. Sounds like he wanted to push you into going by making you feel sorry for him (losing the money for the reservation if you didn't go). Extremely manipulative.

That would just weird me out.

 

[Aidensmom]

That last part is kind of scary.

I have had people "cling" to me before, I guess because I am too nice to everyone (yes, I know some of you who have argued with me over things are not believing that!!, but real life is different than DIS life). Overall, if a person is just desperate for a friend, the fact that you were kind of blowing him off (no offense intended, just can't think of a more appropriate term right now) would make the average person a bit depressed and embarrassed. The fact that he reacted with this outrageous statement is kind of unusual.

 

[Aidensmom]

Extremely manipulative.

Yes, definately. Who just makes a reservation for someone without having an actual discussing that you are going somewhere? He was trying to guilt you into going.

 

[Sandy22]

"I have $5,000 in the bank and when I get back I'm gonna bury you!"

Is he trying to imply he's going to have you killed? I would press charges against him...this just sounds really creepy. You don't say stuff like that, even in anger.

 

[Tiziminchac]

Yeah he was trying to make me feel guilty. But that stuff just doesn't work on me. I told him I wasn't responsible for what he did. When I told him to go on up there and have fun without me he came back with "I can't sleep in both rooms!" What am I supposed to do? Just drop work to make him happy. I still can't figure out the "$5,000" comment. Is he planning on hiring a hit man or something? I may have been snikering (sp?) when I asked him what he meant by that. It just struck me as odd.

 

[Tiziminchac]

Well I don't know if I should call this long overdue. There really was nothing to update this story with until today. After this happened last summer I kind of expected something but it never did. No strange cars driving by my house. No crank calls in the middle of the night. No waking up to find my cat's bloody head in my bed. Nothing. So eventually I just forgot the whole thing.

Anyway, this afternoon, I get off of work and decide to go to the barber to get a haircut. And when I walk in who do you think is there, in the chair, getting their hair cut? Yes, crazy Gary! This was all I needed. I took a seat and sat there watching him get his hair cut. It took him a few minutes before he realized I was there. At first I thought maybe he noticed me but was just ignoring me. But when he did notice me his eyes got about as big as silver dollars. Of course I was sitting there giving him the evil eye. As soon as his hair was done he came over and wanted to shake my hand. He said he was sorry and all. I was like, "yeah, whatever."

But here is the best part. He tells me he'll give me a call and we should get together sometime. He has some interesting EPCOT stories he wants to tell me! Then he brings up that our passes (we both have Florida Seasonal passes) are about to go into block out dates on April 8th and we should go together before that! Like that will ever happen! The whole time I'm thinking "this guy is a total whack" and just smirking at him. It was so hard to just stand there and not blurt out that I couldn't stand him and I'm already going this weekend with some real friends.

When he left the shop even the barber, who I've done business with for about ten years, commented that Gary was really weird! Of course I then had to tell the barber the whole story and we both had a laugh about it. But that's it. I guess I'm gonna have to screen my calls for a while now. After all, Gary is a Vietnam vet and I don't want him going postal on me. But I really doubt that will happen. I'll ignore him and he'll just fade away.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

i would report it just in case
or tell my family is case something happened

 

[Aidensmom]

Long overdue? I had to reread the whole thread!

Actually, I am very glad you didn't have an update until now, that means things were going good, and I hope they continue to.

 

[Stacerita]

Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo

 

[jfulcer]

Ok, guy opinion here, but you were leading him on. And for quite some time. As soon as he started to become clingy you should have laid down the law - "Hey listen Gary. I like you, I really do. But AS A FRIEND. I really don't see this relationship going any further than what it has and I would really like to not lose you as a friend over this all."

Be honest. If you don't tell him what your expectations are, he is going to make assumptions - and in this case was wrong.

Of course, his $5,000 comment was out of line.

 

[poohandwendy]

Wow, he is a nutjob.

Yeah, I agree with Jeff that you did sort of lead him on instead of being upfront. You said "I have a hard time saying no to people so I'll usually just say "we'll see" when someone asks me to do something I don't wanna do." Well, as a direct result of not being straightforward, you are a magnet for people who have a 'hard time' backing off. You give mixed messages, he is a pushy person. That combination seems to go hand in hand.

If I were you, I would just say "Not interested" next time he calls. Break your habit of being wishy-washy and he will have no choice but to find another person to hound.

If you are concerned about the bizarre threats he made, you can contact the police. But it does not sound like you feel threatened by him.

 

[Disney Doll]

The guy's a nutjob.

But learn a lesson. Say what you mean. If you're not interested in developing a friendship with someone, say that to them, instead of giving them a vague "we'll see".

 

[vivilasvegas]

Ok, guy opinion here, but you were leading him on. And for quite some time. As soon as he started to become clingy you should have laid down the law - "Hey listen Gary. I like you, I really do. But AS A FRIEND. I really don't see this relationship going any further than what it has and I would really like to not lose you as a friend over this all."

Be honest. If you don't tell him what your expectations are, he is going to make assumptions - and in this case was wrong.

Of course, his $5,000 comment was out of line.

I don't think he was leading him on. They are both men and I assume he is under the impression that Gary was straight at the time, so they wouldn't need to have that kind of conversation.

 

[Tiziminchac]

Ok, guy opinion here, but you were leading him on. And for quite some time. As soon as he started to become clingy you should have laid down the law - "Hey listen Gary. I like you, I really do. But AS A FRIEND. I really don't see this relationship going any further than what it has and I would really like to not lose you as a friend over this all."

Be honest. If you don't tell him what your expectations are, he is going to make assumptions - and in this case was wrong.

Of course, his $5,000 comment was out of line.

What are you talking about? Trust me, I was not leading him on! There was no way he could have thought I was gay. Maybe he had some secret wish that I'd wanna brokeback mountain it with him, but if he did it was a secret to me. I had to wonder though because the way he acted. But I don't know if he was desperate for a friend or he really liked me. And I never had any expectations. I've never told a friend in my life what my expectations of them were. I thought that hanging out, shooting the breeze, stuff like that, were just a given.

If being a nice person and not saying "no" to someone who wants to hang out with you (instead just giving them the runaround) is leading them on then I guess I'm guilty. I'll use my "we'll see" thing on anyone, even my family. It's not my way of finding a sugar daddy! Is there a vomit smilie on the Dis?