Raulandpinboy
<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2001
- Messages
- 1,705
Note this happened about 4 years ago.... And is 100% true
My wife is so great let me tell you what happened and ask a question of the women in the group.
Last week I had to go to Ft Myers for a company thing, I spent three day, two nights away from home.
While away from home on the first night I had dinner with my niece and her three kids all adorable little angels, this was good because she had orders to keep an eye on me from the wife.
On the second night I didnt feel so hot so I just went back to hotel and crashed, my niece wanted to spend one more night with me (The watchful eye) but I just didnt feel up to the task.
I fell asleep and called Donna the next morning as I was checking out I grabbed my bag and shoved my clothes in it, as any normal man would do by mixing my clean and dirty laundry together. (Another man thing)
Once I got home on the third night my duty was to of course get online and check out the Dis, since it had been off line when I left I hoped it would be back or I would need to start taking sedatives. (I need my Dis)
Thats when it happened Donna decided to go for broke and empty my bag, she put on her firemans outfit just in case, and opened the bag.
Happy me on the boards I have no clue what will happen next. Then I hear the sound of the wife standing behind me making that clearing her throat sound.
I turn to find the wife standing at my office door holding a pair of womens undergarments, not the buy at K-Mart Martha Stewart pre jail three for $3.00 mans underwear, the Victoria Secrets frilly makes you feel like a woman kind.
So I smile and say hey you bought some underwear finally The look on her face told me not a good time to make a joke (married for 18 some odd years will let you know these things trust me)
Act 1 scene 1
The location Eds office Scene taking place a murder soon to happen.
Ed: Hey you bought new underwear (Smiles like an idiot happy over joke)
Donna: These arent mine (Serious drama type murder music chimes in dum dum dum (looks down at me pulls knife from my travel bag)
Ed: What do you mean theyre not yours (looks at her with Sherlock holms inquisitive stare)
Donna: (screaming) I found these in your travel bag (Donna holds knife in the air) (mans best friend, my dog nicely curled up at my feet looks up at me and speaks) Woof woof woof bow woow . Translation your doomed Im outta here dude Love you MEAN IT!! (dog leaves the room) Norman Bates Psycho music chimes in (Donna moves towards Ed, close Curtin end of scene one)
Thats how it should have happened in most normal types of situations, but thats not what happened.
Donna did stand there and hold up the evidence that would turn any man into a babbling fool, but when she asked the wear, who, and what, I just said dont have a clue We laughed and it was over.
But how did they get in my bag?????
Ill tell you in a minute you see after three days the mystery was solved, but first a question to the women of the group.
How many of you ladies after your significant others went away for three day two night, would accept the I dont have a clue answer your husband gives you, after you find a pair of Victoria Secrets womens undergarment (not yours) in their travel bag?
Oh I know the crew wants a piece of this one (no they werent mine so there ha ha).
The answer is simple my oldest granddaughter spent the night two days before I went away, she help do the laundry and a pair of her underwear got mixed up in the dryer and ended up in my drawer, I didnt see them when I packed my bag because as a man I just grabbed a handful of socks and underwear and dumped them in my bag.
But I guess what got me is I told this story at work where its mostly women, and got some interesting answers about what they would do like.
Kill, hurt, wound, shoot, remove part of the body, slash tires, and hire hit men not man, men and make sure he dies slowly.
I guess Im lucky, but she did say it was the fact that I didnt have the look of horror on my face when presented with the evidence that saved me. So thank you honey for being so understanding and trusting of me, beside Vicky doesnt wear that kind of underwear (oops did I say that)
Disclaimer:
I dont know who Vicky is. But Mitsubishis 0 down 0 payment 0 interest better be real when I go buy a car this weekend. I now know what MSRP is. Vicky was a fiction character that traveled with Jason and the Argonauts. My baloney has a first name its O-S-C-A-R and you know the rest blah blah blah. Please buy my newest book called how to make money-selling how to make money books. Why did Ed have a knife in his travel bag??? Its fiction kids just fiction.
My wife is so great let me tell you what happened and ask a question of the women in the group.
Last week I had to go to Ft Myers for a company thing, I spent three day, two nights away from home.
While away from home on the first night I had dinner with my niece and her three kids all adorable little angels, this was good because she had orders to keep an eye on me from the wife.
On the second night I didnt feel so hot so I just went back to hotel and crashed, my niece wanted to spend one more night with me (The watchful eye) but I just didnt feel up to the task.
I fell asleep and called Donna the next morning as I was checking out I grabbed my bag and shoved my clothes in it, as any normal man would do by mixing my clean and dirty laundry together. (Another man thing)
Once I got home on the third night my duty was to of course get online and check out the Dis, since it had been off line when I left I hoped it would be back or I would need to start taking sedatives. (I need my Dis)
Thats when it happened Donna decided to go for broke and empty my bag, she put on her firemans outfit just in case, and opened the bag.
Happy me on the boards I have no clue what will happen next. Then I hear the sound of the wife standing behind me making that clearing her throat sound.
I turn to find the wife standing at my office door holding a pair of womens undergarments, not the buy at K-Mart Martha Stewart pre jail three for $3.00 mans underwear, the Victoria Secrets frilly makes you feel like a woman kind.
So I smile and say hey you bought some underwear finally The look on her face told me not a good time to make a joke (married for 18 some odd years will let you know these things trust me)
Act 1 scene 1
The location Eds office Scene taking place a murder soon to happen.
Ed: Hey you bought new underwear (Smiles like an idiot happy over joke)
Donna: These arent mine (Serious drama type murder music chimes in dum dum dum (looks down at me pulls knife from my travel bag)
Ed: What do you mean theyre not yours (looks at her with Sherlock holms inquisitive stare)
Donna: (screaming) I found these in your travel bag (Donna holds knife in the air) (mans best friend, my dog nicely curled up at my feet looks up at me and speaks) Woof woof woof bow woow . Translation your doomed Im outta here dude Love you MEAN IT!! (dog leaves the room) Norman Bates Psycho music chimes in (Donna moves towards Ed, close Curtin end of scene one)
Thats how it should have happened in most normal types of situations, but thats not what happened.
Donna did stand there and hold up the evidence that would turn any man into a babbling fool, but when she asked the wear, who, and what, I just said dont have a clue We laughed and it was over.
But how did they get in my bag?????
Ill tell you in a minute you see after three days the mystery was solved, but first a question to the women of the group.
How many of you ladies after your significant others went away for three day two night, would accept the I dont have a clue answer your husband gives you, after you find a pair of Victoria Secrets womens undergarment (not yours) in their travel bag?
Oh I know the crew wants a piece of this one (no they werent mine so there ha ha).
The answer is simple my oldest granddaughter spent the night two days before I went away, she help do the laundry and a pair of her underwear got mixed up in the dryer and ended up in my drawer, I didnt see them when I packed my bag because as a man I just grabbed a handful of socks and underwear and dumped them in my bag.
But I guess what got me is I told this story at work where its mostly women, and got some interesting answers about what they would do like.
Kill, hurt, wound, shoot, remove part of the body, slash tires, and hire hit men not man, men and make sure he dies slowly.
I guess Im lucky, but she did say it was the fact that I didnt have the look of horror on my face when presented with the evidence that saved me. So thank you honey for being so understanding and trusting of me, beside Vicky doesnt wear that kind of underwear (oops did I say that)
Disclaimer:
I dont know who Vicky is. But Mitsubishis 0 down 0 payment 0 interest better be real when I go buy a car this weekend. I now know what MSRP is. Vicky was a fiction character that traveled with Jason and the Argonauts. My baloney has a first name its O-S-C-A-R and you know the rest blah blah blah. Please buy my newest book called how to make money-selling how to make money books. Why did Ed have a knife in his travel bag??? Its fiction kids just fiction.
