Class Gift

[dogluva]

Hello. I would like opinions on a letter I recieved today from the room mothers of my second grade daughter's class. It asks for money for a class gift. It states that all kids will participate in a craft but only those that send in money will sign the card.

First of all it doesn't say what the "craft" is. Don't really care, I just think that if I am paying for some of it, I should know what it is.

Also, how are they going to have the kids sign the card? Are those that can't sign going to feel left out? We like to buy our own gifts for teachers. It is something special I do with each of my six kids. I don't want this tradition to end just because she can sign a card. I feel as if I should just send the money in and buy a gift as well. I feel pressured and I don't like it.

I know not every child has to be a part of everything but something about this rubs me the wrong way. Maybe I am being irrational. Thanks in advance for your opinions.

 

[clh2]

You've not given all the info needed. Did the room mom specify the amount? Or can you send any amount to be included on the card?

Personally - I LOVED when the room mom offered to take this project on. In our school however, all kids signed the card. PERIOD. It is not up to the room mom to exclude people who simply cannot afford a gift for the teacher. HOWEVER - I always liked to know what the specific ideas that were being considered (i.e. was it for a spa certificate, something specific, a bookstore etc.).

 

[Hannathy]

I personally like that only the people paying are signing. I know that isn't PC but I think that is the way it should be. I also like when they set an amount.
If you want to get your own gift do it and don't send in money, don't get the big deal.

 

[golfgal]

The card should be signed by all children, period. Not everyone can afford to 'chip in' for a gift, especially in the current economy. That mom needs to be talked to.

 

[krcit]

I have no problem with the not knowing what craft it will be, they may not have even decided yet. I would object to any child being left out of the signing of the card. That's petty and wrong and may very well be against the PTA rules. I know it is in my kids school.

 

[msjprincess]

The card should be signed by all children, period. Not everyone can afford to 'chip in' for a gift, especially in the current economy. That mom needs to be talked to.

ITA. It's not the 7yo's fault that the parents forgot or can't afford to send in money.

 

[eduk8r26]

And to look at it from the teacher's side, how do you think the teacher would feel seeing that only some of the kids had signed the card?

 

[golfgal]

And to look at it from the teacher's side, how do you think the teacher would feel seeing that only some of the kids had signed the card?

If I were a teacher and got a gift and card like this I would be SO EMBARRASSED.

 

[palavra]

If I were a teacher and got a gift and card like this I would be SO EMBARRASSED.

I am a teacher and think this would be so sad. I would want all my students to sign. Personally, in this economy, the signed card itself would be a nice gift.

 

[Hannathy]

OK for all who say what about the kid who can't bring the dollar in for the gift. Do you let them sign your card if you are giving the teacher a gift from your child? and if you don't how is that any different? they still know they didn't get them anything and won't they feel just as bad, if they feel bad?

I just don't see the difference.

 

[eduk8r26]

It is completely different if a child gives a gift just from himself/herself. He shouldn't expect the whole class to sign. And I don't think it really matters to the rest of the class if only some kids give gifts. And I know it doesn't matter to the teacher to get gifts from just a few. But it would certainly matter if it were a class gift and only a handful signed. As a teacher, I think I would feel bad for those who didn't sign.

 

[CrzyforPiglet]

Last year in my son's preschool one of the mom's organized a group gift - to give money was completely voluntary and those who did had their names signed on a group card given to the teacher. There were a lot of families that chose to give their own gifts and handmade cards and there may have even been those who gave nothing. This year my son is in kindergarten and the room mom has asked for a monetary donation for a group gift for both the teacher and room aide. Again this is completely voluntary and I suspect some students will do their own thing. To me that part really isn't a big deal so if buying your own present for the teacher is special for you and a tradition in your family then I say that's what you should do and include your own card.

The only thing I'm confused about in your situation is if the money and the craft are somehow tied together - meaning is the money sent in being used to purchase the craft stuff so that all the kids would participate but not necessarily get credit for (ie - sign the card) or is the craft and the gift separate? If they're tied together then yes excluding those kids that didn't pay for the craft but helped make it is a problem - if they're two different things then yes I would have a problem having all the kids sign the card but I guess that's where I'm in the minority.

 

[golfgal]

OK for all who say what about the kid who can't bring the dollar in for the gift. Do you let them sign your card if you are giving the teacher a gift from your child? and if you don't how is that any different? they still know they didn't get them anything and won't they feel just as bad, if they feel bad?

I just don't see the difference.

The difference is that a present from just you is just that from YOU, this is being presented as a "class gift", thus the entire class should sign the card. We are talking about 6 and 7 year olds-they don't understand that Mom and Dad can't afford this or whatever reason they don't contribute. Either everyone signs the card or you don't give a "class gift".

 

[Hannathy]

but why does it have to be presented as a class gift? why can't it be this is a gift from these 10 students who thought you would rather have a $30 gift card than 10 fancy soaps or candles?

No one says it has to be called a "class gift" it can just be a gift from these students. no different than if they all got individual gifts.

Plus how do you know the family could have given money but didn't want to and don't want their child's name on the card?

Everything doesn't have to be PC

 

[Tinkermommy]

but why does it have to be presented as a class gift? why can't it be this is a gift from these 10 students who thought you would rather have a $30 gift card than 10 fancy soaps or candles?

No one says it has to be called a "class gift" it can just be a gift from these students. no different than if they all got individual gifts.

Plus how do you know the family could have given money but didn't want to and don't want their child's name on the card?

Everything doesn't have to be PC

I don't think this has anything to do with being PC but with being considerate and kind.

I am the Room Coordinator for my daughter's 4th grade class. Some parents may not have the money, may forget to send it in, or may not care but the child should be able to sign the card. What's the big deal?

I send a note to home asking for donations for the class gift. I tell them it's for an American Express gift certificate and that there is a maximum donation of $10 (per country rules). Most parents are grateful to send in the money and be done with one less gift to buy and wrap. And the teacher gets something more useful than a "bunch of soaps".

If this were a group of adults I would agree. But these are young children that don't have any control of the situation.

Often times the kids don't even know if the parents gave money or not. It would be very unkind to say, "Sorry Sally, your parents didn't contribute so you can't sign." Especially at the holiday time when there is supposed to be good will toward men (and little kids).

Edited to add:
Room Coordinators are also instructed to let every child sign the card regardless if their family donated. I guess because there are people out there that would exclude a little kid.

 

[shortbun]

Yeah, my response to them would be this. 'excluding a child because they can not ante up is not acceptable. Find a way to let them all sign or we won't be participating.' Perhaps they don't know it but they are mean!! Off with their heads!!! Seriously. Btw, we give our teachers Godiva-not soaps, lol!

 

[Hannathy]

I don't think this has anything to do with being PC but with being considerate and kind.

That is exactly what it is PC. Everyone gets treated exactly the same.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

When I taught, I had a room mother who let all the children sign the card. She included with the card a little list of all the students who actually contributed to the gift. I guess it made her feel better. I always felt that if it is called a "class gift", then it is from the class. I always included a thank you to the entire class in our class newsletter. I always appreciated gifts, but would have truly been just as happy with a card.

 

[poohfriend77]

I think my school has a great way of handling this situation. The Parent Club collects money for class gifts at "fee day" before school starts in the fall. The club distributes the checks to the room parent coordinator to use for gifts throughout the year. I know that not every family in DD's class contributed, but I have no idea who did and who didn't. That's the way it should be, in my opinion. Any gift I buy will be from the whole class, even if I end up supplementing with my own money (my choice, and I'm not complaining about that... I LOVE our teacher!)

 

[mjkacmom]

The only problem I have is that she said kids would not sign the card. I've been class mom a few times, and we are instructed by the class mom chairperson to ask for $5 from each child for Christmas and end of year gift. Sometimes we will put $ in from those that don't participate, and never leave anyone out. I think it's nice that she's getting the kids to make something - I'm too lazy for that, but other class moms do this. I always contribute, plus give my own gift. Most others do as well.