Chuck Norris jokes

[straightj23]

Hey guys! Felt like being random today. So, tell your favorite Chuck Norris joke or jokes. Mine is:

"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits."

lol

And just in case you aren't familiar, here's a website you can check out:

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

 

[PurpleDucky]

Chuck Norris doesn't check for the Boogeyman in his closet
The Boogeyman checks for Chuck Norris in his closet

 

[MyHappyEnding_]

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

 

[BandGeek911]

Once Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey on thanksgiving, he told her not to worry, he went in the backyard, and came back five minutes later with a turkey. He then ate it whole, and then threw it up a few seconds later fully cooked with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked me how he had done it he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said “Never question chuck norris”

 

[STOPxmickeytime]

chuck norris once roundhouse kicked a baby elephant into puberty.

 

[Captain Brain]

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

 

[Mur13]

Chck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because he's afraid of th dark. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

 

[jessaboo]

When it's time for taxes to be paid, all Chuck has to do is send in a picture of himself, and the government sends back your money to him.


Chuck Norris is really 164 years old.
Rogain works.

 

[bgirldeb]

*bump*
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

 

[Pirate Me]

I'm sorry but am I the only one that doesn't get these? xD

 

[DramaQueen]

lmao! these are hilarious.

sooo random.

(L) chuck norris (L)

 

[disney100666]

I'm sorry but am I the only one that doesn't get these? xD

I don't get them either. I honestly don't even know who Chuck Norris is.

 

[SBubba18]

In 8th grade, we had a saying.."What will Chuck Noris do? Kick some a**!"

 

[Rockstar mentality]

"Chuck norris does not get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrissed.'

haha and my second favorite is:

"one day Chuck Norris woke up and decided 2 sell his pee, it is now known as red bull.

 

[Damhsa04]

I love this one:

Chuck Norris' tears cure AIDS. Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't cry.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

When did this ever start is what Im wondering...

Because I feel like it only started popping up like..2 years ago

AND PLUS

Walker Texas Ranger

was an awesome show

(after all Ricky Bobby named his kids "walker" and "Texas Ranger" XD)

 

[Rockstar mentality]

lol i think some random person portrayed him as aamazing and starte dmaking jokes about how good he is and i catched on with his friends then everyone was doing it

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

lol i think some random person portrayed him as aamazing and starte dmaking jokes about how good he is and i catched on with his friends then everyone was doing it

Thats kinda what I thought

 

[Rockstar mentality]

lol but i bet u spelt it better in your mind then i spelt it in my post

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

lol but i bet u spelt it better in your mind then i spelt it in my post

Nope,
I probably spelt it like..well worse then that

Like..you dont even wanna hear how I tried spelling that really long word from marry poppins this morning

EVEN THOUGH THE SONG WAS PLAYING ON THE TV FROM THE PARADE XD