Christmas for people with no siblings etc

[peanut1967]

I know with reading another thread that it is hard when you have a big family to buy presents and keep everybody happy.

But I wish I was in that boat, but I am not. I am now an only child, I did have siblings but they died when they were young. I hate it, and at this time of year I think of how thinks could have been. I am, like I have said, now an only child, I have no nephews or nieces, so I only have my 2 children to buy for at christmas, and yes I go over the top, because they have no aunties or uncles. I wish I had others to buy for and to spend Christmas with. Believe me I know how families can be, really my ex husbands mother was the mil from hell. But remember you have them, enjoy them at this special time.

A

 

[8 Ears]

I am an only as well. But right from the get go.
How I would LOVE to have siblings, not just this time of year but all year!

I have 2 step brothers on one side and a step sister on the other. But they are much older than I and we never lived under the same roof. They are more like cousins or aunt/uncles.

Now DH is #5 out of 6 and what he would give to be an only

We tell the boys we are going to leave in our wills that they get no $$ until they talk on the phone once a week for several years after we are gone. We do not want them to be like DH and his siblings. One of his brothers we have not seen or heard from in close to 9 years!!!

Yes, I agree with OP, TRY to enjoy your siblings.

 

[tinkgirl2007]

I agree. I am part of a small immediate family and most of my extended family do not speak so around the holidays especcially it gets kinda lonesome. It just doesn't feel much like thanksgiving when you sit at the big table and there are only three of you. So even though they may get on your nerves sometimes be glad you have someone to bug ya.

 

[srwarden1928]

I have deceased parents, no siblings, no children.
If I didnt have DW, I would be alone.
I am thankful for my wonderful DW.

 

[skuttle]

I agree. I'm an only as well. My DH has one sister so at least I have her and her kids. We've been TTC #2 for over 2 years because I really don't want DS to be an only, but that's obviously not working out too well. Being an only never bothered me when I was a kid. But since I've gotten older, it's bothered me a lot more...it started when I was planning my wedding back in 1999 and hasn't gotten any better.

 

[Vickibean]

I totally agree!!!!!

It's just me, my 2 kids, and my mom. Only child, divorced. XH had 3 kids from his first marriage, so holidays were always busy with 5 kids. But this year is just the 2 kids and me. I just booked a last- minute trip to Disneyworld over Thanksgiving.

 

[hearts8701]

being from a small family can be lonely at anytime but especially so on holidays
so if you have a neighbor that you know is alone invite them for dinner
maybe you can get involved in a big brother or sister program for some needy children that would love a family too or volunteer at at hospital on christmas and other days though out the year not only for the holidays
voluteer to help feed the needy

 

[RobinFabulous]

being from a small family can be lonely at anytime but especially so on holidays
so if you have a neighbor that you know is alone invite them for dinner
maybe you can get involved in a big brother or sister program for some needy children that would love a family too or volunteer at at hospital on christmas and other days though out the year not only for the holidays
voluteer to help feed the needy

Nursing homes too. Certain wards on hospitals, Children's hospitals, neo-natal unit, Ronald McDonald and Target homes. Lots of places need people to help. Also look for needs in your community. I know of a local couple that had their baby horribly burned (accident in the kitchen) He lost his job(burned as well), they're struggling. We're going to try to do something for them. Churches sometimes know of single parents that have a hardtime, daycares know about familes that need help as well. there's always a way to pass it on, feel not so lonely, and help others

 

[star sweeper]

I am fortunate to have a large extended family I am close to and see at Christmas every other year (we alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas between DH's and my family). However, I didn't have children until I was almost 32 and my brother is still single (no children). My parents missed having us and other young nieces and nephews to buy for, so they began doing Toys for Tots with the Marines. Each year they buy hundreds dollars worth of toys for all ages to donate. They say it is the most enjoyable part of their Christmas, thinking of how happy the recipients will be. My parents grew up very poor but have done very well, so they also see it as a way of giving back for their blessings. Perhaps you could do something similar to feel more connected at Christmas?

 

[Tammysue5]

I can share that when I was growing up (we had a larger family) we always invited this gentleman to Thanksgiving and Christmas. He was single and no family. He must have come to over 20 some years of holidays. We would play PIT and other games. When he went to the Nursing home...we went to get him for Thanksgiving, because everyone felt we could not have the holidays without Forrest. He died the next year but he shared many times how much those holidays meant to him.

Ill bet you would not be hard pressed to find others that are in need of a 'family' for the holidays.... who said it has to be relation..family is whoever you want it to be.

Toys for Tots is also a great charity... Churches and other organizations put together Christmas boxes for people. Our Church has names that you go buy for. We allow the children to pick a childs name (usually about their age) they get to pick out 1 toy and 1 outfit. It is nice to watch how carefully they chose the gifts for someone they will never know/meet. Even DH and I pick names... they have older folks as well. Last year DH chose a name of a homeless man (that goes to the shelter) all he had on his list was a XL FLannel shirt and thick socks.

 

[Momma2dakidz]

I so agree, I lost my dad last year and my mom in 2001. I only have my aunt and grandmother left. My grandmother is getting older and i am dreading the day that i too have no extended family to visit with on christmas. I attempted to do some shopping today but lost it when i saw a gift my mom would have just loved. I need to get happy and fast! This Christmas is already starting off awfull. (i do "adopt" families at christmas and spoil them all year long but its still not the same.)

 

[Keara'sMom]

Okay, you all are depressing me! We have an only daughter (age 11 now), and is this what she'll have to look forward to???? Guess I'll have to start taking really good care of myself so she at least has us for a long time....

 

[peanut1967]

I didnt mean it to sound depressing, just after reading the threads about family and christmas and the melt downs I sometimes feel a little 'mad' when others go on about how awful christmas is having all this family to sort out, Mad may be the wrong word jealous (sp) is a better word.

We have somewhat changed the dynamics of our family this year, we have become foster parents and have a little boy of 9 who is part of our family this year, with the possibilty of another 1 or 2 little ones to add to our brood before Christmas. Its been a wonderful year for us to open our home to children in need, and we hope to carry on for a long time.

But I would still like My family here and I miss them even though they have been gone a long time, I miss not being a Aunty, I miss not being a Sister, sorry if it depresses anyone but I needed to share.

A

 

[AliciaS]

I hear you. Our Thanksgiving table was always a little sparse with just me, my husband, and my mom. But it was fun to do the turkey and get the house smelling nice and all. Earlier this year my mom died unexpectedly and it will seem even more pathetic with just my husband and myself as the only adults. At least our four year old sits at the table now and notices traditions and such and in a few years our 14 month old will start "getting it". This is going to be one tough holiday season without mom to share and appreciate the cookies and decorations and presents. Sigh. Every year she told me I made the BEST turkey and that everything was so nice....

 

[Tammysue5]

I feel for all those that are feeling so down w/o families... I can only imagine your feelings and realize that at anytime things can change and we can find ourselves in a similar situation.

Years ago some good friends of ours were dealing with the same thing... they had a small family gathering....so they would go to bowling on Thanksgiving and the movies on Christmas.... at that time I could never imagine doing either of those things on the holidays. Now, I can understand better... they would always share that the 4 of them would go and actually have a good time... w/others who were there as well on the holidays. They felt "why should we stay home and mope around,,,lets go out and spend time w/others on these special days. " It has now become a tradition for them and their daughter who went away to college is coming home and looking forward to dong this again this year.

 

[TammyLynn33]

I feel your pain. Iam 30 with 2 wonderful kids (im a single mommy) and no siblings left and my parents have past without my kids who are such a blessing im not sure what id do..But im still at a loss as to where to go Xmas Day etc..I know I need to start traditions but its really difficult.. (kids dad and family has very limited interest i think the kids got their $10 gifts from Grandma and Grandpa in Feb last year..lol)

Big Hugs I can completely relate

 

[zoemurr]

I feel for all those that are feeling so down w/o families... I can only imagine your feelings and realize that at anytime things can change and we can find ourselves in a similar situation.

Years ago some good friends of ours were dealing with the same thing... they had a small family gathering....so they would go to bowling on Thanksgiving and the movies on Christmas.... at that time I could never imagine doing either of those things on the holidays. Now, I can understand better... they would always share that the 4 of them would go and actually have a good time... w/others who were there as well on the holidays. They felt "why should we stay home and mope around,,,lets go out and spend time w/others on these special days. " It has now become a tradition for them and their daughter who went away to college is coming home and looking forward to dong this again this year.

I'm an only and lived with my mom. When I was growing up we would go out every Christmas Eve to a Japanese restaurant (where you sit at a big table and eat with other families). It was our way of sharing the night with others since we had no family to be with. Mom used to joke that we were the only Christians there, but it was a tradition we enjoyed. I was telling some co-workers the other day about it and you could tell by the looks on their faces that they were very sorry for me. I never really thought it was weird until I saw their reaction.

I married a man with a single brother, and we have 2 kids. When ever other people start talking about extended family my kids get upset because they have no cousins. OP, I always feel the same way when I hear people complaining about their large crazy families. My whole family on both sides combined is 7 people. Easy to shop though I guess..

 

[RMulieri]

Truthfully, I suppose it can be sad.but just because you have a sibling does not guarantee you will have a relationship with that sib.I never speak to my one brother..have not seen him in at least 10 yrs.My Dh never speaks to his brother either.We never ever see them or speak.We have better relationships with our neighbors and friends.We always have a monthly dinner with our closest friends and celebrate the holidays together as well.Sometimes friends are BETTER than family.Most often i feel sorry for the Patients i work with and the elderly who have families that every holiday decide to dump off Mom or Dad at the hospital the day before the holiday.

 

[RMulieri]

Okay, you all are depressing me! We have an only daughter (age 11 now), and is this what she'll have to look forward to???? Guess I'll have to start taking really good care of myself so she at least has us for a long time....

Honey...I am with you.My dd is 4yr old and will be an only( not by choice).We just surround her with lots of friends and a real close cousin.

 

[leebee]

DH has 6 sibs w/spouses and kids, a mom, and a dad (not together), but they are all over the country. I have 3 sibs with spouses and families, but not close by. No aunts, uncles, cousins to speak of. The holidays could be very lonely for us, as it's just me, DH, and DD15. However, we have very wonderful friends whose families are on the other side of the country. Every year at Thanksgiving, we get together with this family (they have 2 kids DD's age, and all are good friends), two other couples, and a single man. There's a huge turkey, lots of food eaten, and lots of friendship shared. It's always a wonderful day, and I'm thankful to have my local "family" to share these special times with!