Christmas dinner was good but........

[Planogirl]

There is no excuse for filthy bathrooms. It take 10-15 minutes to clean a bathroom so I can see no logic to being "too busy." The kitchen takes longer but there's no reason for it to be grotesque.

I don't understand some people.

 

[luvmy3]

I can relate, I have family who I visit and never eat there and never, ever, under and circumstances use the bathroom there

 

[MELSMICE]

As gross as that all sounds......I gotta say that if you truly love and enjoy the people you're (general) with, you can overlook that stuff and remember the time that was spent together.

If you don't love or enjoy the company, then why even bother spending the time with them at all?

Maybe for Christmas next year you could give them a gift certificate to a cleaning service.

I love them, I enjoy their company, but I won't be returning to her home.

....you just never know how sanitary they are.

LOL - you must have been on the potluck thread!

There is no excuse for filthy bathrooms. It take 10-15 minutes to clean a bathroom so I can see no logic to being "too busy." The kitchen takes longer but there's no reason for it to be grotesque.

I don't understand some people.

I completely agree. There was also a "pet" spider in one corner. This was a guest bathroom, so only a sink & toilet to clean.

My other cousin, her sister, quietly told us not to go upstairs, so I can't even imagine what that looked like.

 

[englishteacha]

There's a member of our family whose home is so dirty I will not eat food prepared there. I'm glad no one in your family got sick. I know my house is far from perfect, but I don't know how some people can live in the dirtiness around them. Is squalor too strong a word? I don't know. The people we know whose home is so dirty make a very good living, and could afford to hire a house cleaner if they wanted to. The dirt, sticky floors, and piles and piles of stuff, including piles of actual garbage don't bother them!

 

[Disney Doll]

Soap and water is fairly cheap. I do 90% of my cleaning with bleach spray & window cleaner....both of which are cheap.

Since the OP did not speak of any issue that might preclude them from cleaning (ie-physical issues),to have sticky filthy bathrooms and kitchens is pure laziness.

 

[Kat77]

I have often wondered if sometimes a person's house just gets so bad that they don't know where to start in cleaning? Not excusing it at all, but sometimes it really can get overwhelming especially when you have your own business and small children.

Ooh, me too! Like a form a ADHD where organising the clean up is too overwelming for them? I want to try ritalin trials on all the Hoarders people. Watching them makes it obvious they lack an ability to make logical decisions like sorting the trash (taco bell containers) from the keepers (tupperware). I'm convinced it could make a huge difference in the clean up effort.

 

[daisyduck123]

LOL - you must have been on the potluck thread!

You're right - I was!

 

[Iott Family]

We had to eat in an absolutely filthy house!!!!!!!!!

We are in Florida for the holidays at our condo. We were invited to Christmas dinner at my cousins. There were 22 of us. It was the first time we were ever at her house.

Her house was the filthiest house I have ever seen. Not only did we stick to the tile floor.....I stuck to the toilet seat!!!!!!!!!! I would not use the towel to dry my hands.

There was food all over the cupboards, fridge & stove. Her kids have colored on the cupboards & walls. The house was in horrible disrepair & it was brand new about 8 years ago. I was afraid to sit on the furniture.

Her excuse........I just don't have enough time because of owning my dance studio. Any extra time I have I want to spend with my kids. I get that, but hire a cleaning service then.

Not to mention......I also own a dance studio & while it takes a lot of time to run a business that's a poor excuse.

The table was set up & looked beautiful when we walked in but we didn't even eat as family. The food was left on the kitchen table, all covered in foil. We did buffet style, which is fine, but everyone just got their plates ready when they wanted, sat down, ate & got up when they were done. My cousins came in & said grace in the middle of the meal & not everyone was even at the table (well, my entire family was).

I told my mom if we're ever back here for Christmas we will crowd into one of our small condos & enjoy a nice meal in a clean home. It was disgusting!!!!! As crazy as the day is at my IL's for Christmas every year I really missed spending the day with them & sitting down to an enjoyable Christmas dinner.

I think you need to introduce your cousin to Marla Ciley/The FlyLady. She has a website and a couple books. Love her methods to keeping house

 

[luvsJack]

Ooh, me too! Like a form a ADHD where organising the clean up is too overwelming for them? I want to try ritalin trials on all the Hoarders people. Watching them makes it obvious they lack an ability to make logical decisions like sorting the trash (taco bell containers) from the keepers (tupperware). I'm convinced it could make a huge difference in the clean up effort.

Right! Or it seems like I read that a form of OCD can cause someone to be that messy. Like maybe they want it to be perfect and they can't make it that way so they don't clean at all or something like that.

That would be an interesting study! Would love to see the results.

 

[SandrA9810]

Sounds like my sister's house, except she's a SAHM. She wanted me to spend the night once, and I down right refused. The house is a disaster and reeks of cats (even though there's only two).

The most time I've ever spent there is a couple of hours.

 

[bluesaturn]

Ooh, me too! Like a form a ADHD where organising the clean up is too overwelming for them? I want to try ritalin trials on all the Hoarders people. Watching them makes it obvious they lack an ability to make logical decisions like sorting the trash (taco bell containers) from the keepers (tupperware). I'm convinced it could make a huge difference in the clean up effort.

I think hoarders have an OCD like problem. I think the people who are constantly starting projects and never finishing them are the ADHD people. But alot of time their houses are messy because of that.

Just plain dirty people, I'm not sure what their issue is.

 

[Kat77]

Right! Or it seems like I read that a form of OCD can cause someone to be that messy. Like maybe they want it to be perfect and they can't make it that way so they don't clean at all or something like that.

That would be an interesting study! Would love to see the results.

I think hoarders have an OCD like problem. I think the people who are constantly starting projects and never finishing them are the ADHD people. But alot of time their houses are messy because of that.

Just plain dirty people, I'm not sure what their issue is.

I've heard the OCD dx and I agree with it but the meds to treat ocd don't seem to address the inability to make decisions and act on them like the ADHD meds do. After dealing with my DS13's backpack issues I can see how peoples homes get into that state ! I just want to give them all a trial of ritalin and see what happens... ya know?

 

[luvsJack]

I've heard the OCD dx and I agree with it but the meds to treat ocd don't seem to address the inability to make decisions and act on them like the ADHD meds do. After dealing with my DS13's backpack issues I can see how peoples homes get into that state ! I just want to give them all a trial of ritalin and see what happens... ya know?

I know just what you mean about that backpack. I remember going to ds's classroom in about second grade and I could pick out his desk without anyone saying a word. TOTAL mess!

 

[BroganMc]

Count me in the group that frets over inviting some guests over because they are so completely anal about cleanliness. My aunt didn't get an invite to my house for 35 years because my mom feared her judgement. It was plain stupid because that fear ended up keeping my dad from visiting with his brother and us knowing our cousins growing up.

We rarely got an invite to my aunt's house for much the same reason. In the end, you just have to let things slide and realize what is more important.

Now it is damn hard to keep a house when you are working, having lots of kids (they are mess factories) or like me are disabled. There are parts of my house that get dust in a matter of hours, but since i don't use them much they are not on my priority list for cleaning.

I also share a house with my dad that is the family home and thus has about 40 years of clutter. We have stuff from my grandparents, stuff my siblings, stuff from my aunts & uncles, and our stuff. It's hard to know where to put it all. And we live in the country so insects are always a problem. The last two years there's been a stinkbug epidemic. Try as hard as you can you can never seem to eradicate all the little buggers or keep them from crawling into your home. (Yes we've sprayed, yes we've cleaned them up and still they keep coming back.)

Saying that we did give the house a full cleaning, at least as far as the first floor went. Everything was dusted, vacuumed, polished and cleaned. That was back breaking work leaving both my dad and I hurting and exhausted. And we cooked, wrapped presents, decorated and hosted a gathering of 17 people.

I'm sure there are parts of my house some anal folks will step into and complain about. Go through my laundry room to get soda from the pantry and you have to walk by the cat boxes. Study the disused corner window and you'll probably find a stinkbug crawling in. Go to my basement and there's several decades worth of stuff we've accrued, some of it kept intentionally other stuff we're holding for others. My upstairs has 2 cleaned and sorted bedrooms and two rooms holding a collection of clutter in a state of temporary flux.

But I'm not going to make the same mistake my mom did. I refuse to be so worried about other people's opinions I won't invite them over for a simple gathering. I still wash my hands before I prepare food and use clean dishes.

Oh and by the way, having 17 people in your house creates a mess all of its own. Especially when several are children. I spend much of Christmas night cleaning up all the discarded candy wrappers, half consumed soda cans and bits of wrapping paper strewn about. Then there are the sofa pillows that need to be fixed and gaming devices put away. Fortunately I get help from some of the family that visits.

 

[simba20]

Right! Or it seems like I read that a form of OCD can cause someone to be that messy. Like maybe they want it to be perfect and they can't make it that way so they don't clean at all or something like that.

That would be an interesting study! Would love to see the results.

First off, I have to say that I do clean my house, but I have suffered from such perfectionism in the past in other areas that it has left me in "shut down" mode and sometimes unable to do things.....cleaning was not one of those though.

 

[disykat]

Count me in the group that frets over inviting some guests over because they are so completely anal about cleanliness. My aunt didn't get an invite to my house for 35 years because my mom feared her judgement. It was plain stupid because that fear ended up keeping my dad from visiting with his brother and us knowing our cousins growing up.

We rarely got an invite to my aunt's house for much the same reason. In the end, you just have to let things slide and realize what is more important.

Now it is damn hard to keep a house when you are working, having lots of kids (they are mess factories) or like me are disabled. There are parts of my house that get dust in a matter of hours, but since i don't use them much they are not on my priority list for cleaning.

I also share a house with my dad that is the family home and thus has about 40 years of clutter. We have stuff from my grandparents, stuff my siblings, stuff from my aunts & uncles, and our stuff. It's hard to know where to put it all. And we live in the country so insects are always a problem. The last two years there's been a stinkbug epidemic. Try as hard as you can you can never seem to eradicate all the little buggers or keep them from crawling into your home. (Yes we've sprayed, yes we've cleaned them up and still they keep coming back.)

Saying that we did give the house a full cleaning, at least as far as the first floor went. Everything was dusted, vacuumed, polished and cleaned. That was back breaking work leaving both my dad and I hurting and exhausted. And we cooked, wrapped presents, decorated and hosted a gathering of 17 people.

I'm sure there are parts of my house some anal folks will step into and complain about. Go through my laundry room to get soda from the pantry and you have to walk by the cat boxes. Study the disused corner window and you'll probably find a stinkbug crawling in. Go to my basement and there's several decades worth of stuff we've accrued, some of it kept intentionally other stuff we're holding for others. My upstairs has 2 cleaned and sorted bedrooms and two rooms holding a collection of clutter in a state of temporary flux.

But I'm not going to make the same mistake my mom did. I refuse to be so worried about other people's opinions I won't invite them over for a simple gathering. I still wash my hands before I prepare food and use clean dishes.

Oh and by the way, having 17 people in your house creates a mess all of its own. Especially when several are children. I spend much of Christmas night cleaning up all the discarded candy wrappers, half consumed soda cans and bits of wrapping paper strewn about. Then there are the sofa pillows that need to be fixed and gaming devices put away. Fortunately I get help from some of the family that visits.

You clean your house, you're not who people are discussing.

I think most people do have an expectation that, if they are an invited guest, there will be a relatively clean toilet. We're not talking about going to someone's home and giving it the white glove test!

 

[HeyMickeyUSoFine]

I'm not sure I could have eaten the food then. Did she do all of the cooking or did everyone bring a dish?

What did other people say about it?

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[PatsGirl]

I could get past everything but the dirty bathroom and food on the kitchen cupboards and floors, etc. Even on my worst days (like the stomach bug I had last week for three days) I manage to pull myself from bed and clean the bathroom and do the dishes so if anyone (ie Mom ) stops over I don't have to hide in shame.

Several years ago I hurt my back very badly and was bed-ridden for sixteen weeks. The first four weeks I truly could do NO housework, getting to the toilet was painful. My son who was 10 at the time did everything for me and what he couldn't do my friends did.

I agree that having a house this dirty is pure laziness. I'm not sure I could eat there, visit for an hour, sure, but eat and use the bathroom

 

[MELSMICE]

You clean your house, you're not who people are discussing.

I think most people do have an expectation that, if they are an invited guest, there will be a relatively clean toilet. We're not talking about going to someone's home and giving it the white glove test!

Exactly.

This was literally disgusting & not because of poor health. I understand lack of time, however, how long does it take to wipe off your kitchen counter? Wipe off the toilet seat? Kids drawing on walls & cupboards?

My house gets very dusty.......you could write a book in some of my furniture at times, but that's surface dirt. This was downright filth.

 

[wilderness01]

As gross as that all sounds......I gotta say that if you truly love and enjoy the people you're (general) with, you can overlook that stuff and remember the time that was spent together.

If you don't love or enjoy the company, then why even bother spending the time with them at all?

Maybe for Christmas next year you could give them a gift certificate to a cleaning service.

Honestly, I don't think this comment is fair. No one should have to eat in a filthy house. Would you eat in a filthy restaurant? I wouldn't.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Next year invite them to your house and enjoy the day.