Christmas and my SIL

[ntburns22]

Over the weekend I went shopping for my niece (8) for Christmas. I got her an iDog with the bag and outfit. I thought I did really well because this is my DD almost 7 #1 thing on her list. DD was really excited to get it for her too. Because they both love music. They even both went to their first concert together The Cheetah Girls.

Well DH calls BIL today to ask a question and our nephew. He was playing with something at our house and wanted to know if he had it. Well it turns out SIL had assigned us what items to get on her list for both of their kids. And said, since the idog wasn't on her (SIL) list for her DD asked if we would take it back and get our assigned gift. DH told them NO, but we will give them the receipt for it.

I could not believe they asked us to take it back. I can honestly say I don't think I would ever tell them to take a gift back, let alone assign people what they have to get. I don't really think we are over reacting. It is not like we are giving her something absolutley horrible for Christmas.

 

[jenimay]

That is just crazy!!! You are definantly in the right, and it sounds like you were very generous with your gift. Geez some people...

Jeni

 

[barkley]

the only conceivable reason i could think would cause me to ask someone to exchange the gift they'd purchased for one of my kiddos would be if it was something they had asked santa for (my kids realy limit thier 'santa' lists and look forward to HIM bringing those items). no way have/would i ever 'assign' gifts for people to give.

that said-i do keep a mental list of stuff the kids have expressed an interest in or i know they would enjoy and pass on suggestion WHEN asked by family members. i purposely suggest items i know are easily purchased depending on the stores in close proximity to them. i also NEVER suggest the same items to more than one person/family so we don't end up with duplicates. if the suggested item is something i def. want one of the kids to receive (and will buy it if family member opts not to) i ask them to let me know if they decide to get something else.

 

[Evil Genius]

Well that's kinda rude. He should be greatful that you want to buy his children anything.

 

[SadieDog]

I would never call my family and assign gifts for them to give my kids. Now if they ask for suggestions, I will gladly help out. I am thankful for what they give and some people enjoy picking out a gift and I would not want to take that enjoyment away from them.

 

[ntburns22]

I give ideas too but not specific items. I think it is OK that my kids don't get everything on there list. Yes maybe they are disappointed for a minute but I think they need to learn that you don't always get everything. Well the iDOg was no where on the list because my niece never said "I want that for CHristmas". BIL thought it was good gift, but SIL has a mind of her own.

 

[powellrj]

I've been on the other side of that problem, so I can really cut her some slack.

My DMIL would never ask me what the kids wanted for Christmas. She would ask the kids what they wanted. Thats fine except that on Christmas Eve DS opened his gifts and she had gotten him every single one of the gifts we had gotten him from Santa. He was 3 or 4 so he was expecting gifts from Santa that were different than the ones he had gotten the night before. Every year I would beg her to please at least tell me what she was getting them so we didn't overlap. NOPE, I was the ungratedful one.

I finally started having the kids make unique lists out so there was no overlaping of gifts. Once the kids got older, I would "make suggestions" to them as to what to tell grandma you want.

If this was the "big" gift from Santa this year, I think I would offer to take it back and get something I knew nobody was getting her.

 

[budbeerlady]

Ohhh, she must be related to my SIL! I have an assigned list and I am to call her when I buy something off the list so she can cross it off. You can guess where I filed that list! (Dh always says Money doesnt equal class)

I think it is really rude and I would give her the I dog. I dont sweat getting duplicate gifts for DD. It hasnt happened yet and if it did I am sure one could be returned. Good for your Dh for saying you would send the reciept!

 

[Chloe'sMom]

I've been on the other side of that problem, so I can really cut her some slack.

My DMIL would never ask me what the kids wanted for Christmas. She would ask the kids what they wanted. Thats fine except that on Christmas Eve DS opened his gifts and she had gotten him every single one of the gifts we had gotten him from Santa. He was 3 or 4 so he was expecting gifts from Santa that were different than the ones he had gotten the night before. Every year I would beg her to please at least tell me what she was getting them so we didn't overlap. NOPE, I was the ungratedful one.

I finally started having the kids make unique lists out so there was no overlaping of gifts. Once the kids got older, I would "make suggestions" to them as to what to tell grandma you want.

If this was the "big" gift from Santa this year, I think I would offer to take it back and get something I knew nobody was getting her.

I've had similar issues as well.

~Amanda

 

[CEDmom]

Wow, that's incredible. Unless someone asks me what DD wants or gives me $ to get her a gift they're pretty much free to pick out what they want.

 

[It's A Happy Day]

=. Well it turns out SIL had assigned us what items to get on her list for both of their kids. And said, since the idog wasn't on her (SIL) list for her DD asked if we would take it back and get our assigned gift. DH told them NO, but we will give them the receipt for it.

And this is called a "gift" why

I'm glad you guys stuck to your guns. A gift is optional not mandatory and never, never tell someone what to get, unless of course suggestions are asked for.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

I think it's rude on their part. If it becomes a double gift oh well at least you are enclosing the GR! i think you are doing great!!

 

[lg3]

I would never call my family and assign gifts for them to give my kids. Now if they ask for suggestions, I will gladly help out. I am thankful for what they give and some people enjoy picking out a gift and I would not want to take that enjoyment away from them.

ITA SadieDog - well said.
It's tough to be in the situation you are in right now ntburns22. I think you/DH were very polite in saying you would give them the receipt. I can't imagine someone practically demanding that you give a specific gift that only they choose, especially for little ones. This wasn't a suggestion on their part, so that muddies the waters. I hope it doesn't strain things for you and them on the Holidays.

 

[kejoda]

Sounds like my SIL but God forbid you give her a list.

Were not exchanging this year, wanna guess why?

 

[Sherri]

Over the weekend I went shopping for my niece (8) for Christmas. I got her an iDog with the bag and outfit. I thought I did really well because this is my DD almost 7 #1 thing on her list. DD was really excited to get it for her too. Because they both love music. They even both went to their first concert together The Cheetah Girls.

Well DH calls BIL today to ask a question and our nephew. He was playing with something at our house and wanted to know if he had it. Well it turns out SIL had assigned us what items to get on her list for both of their kids. And said, since the idog wasn't on her (SIL) list for her DD asked if we would take it back and get our assigned gift. DH told them NO, but we will give them the receipt for it.

I could not believe they asked us to take it back. I can honestly say I don't think I would ever tell them to take a gift back, let alone assign people what they have to get. I don't really think we are over reacting. It is not like we are giving her something absolutley horrible for Christmas.

That would irk me. I can not believe their nerve.

 

[ntburns22]

I hope it doesn't strain things for you and them on the Holidays.

No, it won't. After today I will not let it ruin my Christmas. There are so many people at the inlaws for Christmas that we will have a great time.

 

[ntburns22]

Sounds like my SIL but God forbid you give her a list.

Were not exchanging this year, wanna guess why?

DH and I have been trying to not exchange with everyone for 2 years now. It is the only time when the whole family is together. Why can't we just be greatful for that. But I guess that is another thread.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

thats rude
they should be grateful

 

[Disney Doll]

I can't stand people who don't understand the meaning of the word "gift". The most I'd do is send the recipt with the gift. I'd probably alos tell her what I thought of her "assigning" gifts for people to purchase, but that's me...not everyone has such a big mouth.

A few years ago I bought DSIl (the crazy one) a lovely gift for Christmas, which she proceeded to trash to every other member of the family. Word got back to me, and the next year, and every year since, I have made a donation on her honor to a charity. I like the money I spend on gifts to be put to good use. Since the money I spent for a gift for her wasn't appreciated, I give it to an organizrtion that will appreciate it.

Problem solved.

Of course, one cannot do this with kids. The child should not "pay" for the bad behavior of his/her mother. Sending the receipt is about your best bet I guess.

 

[Banshee]

I agree with you I would be angry too! But on another note I have seen these i-dog's in the toysrus catalouge and they are cute. Beign the idiot I am though are they for use with an i-pod?