Choosing Godparents...

[lapinluv]

How do you choose Godparents for your children? For DD, we chose my BIL and my Aunt/Godmother - they were the two people we were closest to on either side of the family. BIL has been in numerous scrapes (DUI, A&B, etc) since then and barely sees the family, except at holidays. My Aunt lost her husband in 9/11 and also has withdrawn from the family.

Now, we're trying to figure out who to choose for our second child. Most of our friends are Jewish, so ineligible. One couple that we are close to lives across the country, so we haven't seen them in a number of years. DH has another brother, but he can barely bother with DD (he skeeves kids). I have two brothers and a sister, but I don't know how to choose one over the other. I also have to have it balanced between the two familes or my MIL will never forgive us.

What's your criteria for choosing Godparents? There's no one that's very religious in either of our families.

I have to get the baby Christened soon after birth, otherwise my MIL will do it herself in the sink. She did this to DD because she was afraid DD was a pagan since we waited six months to have her "official" Christening.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The role of the Godparents is to see that the child's catholic upbringing is nurtured in addition to the nurturing the parents do, or in their place if something should happen to them. With that said, I picked who I thought would do the best job at that for each of my kids. We were lucky we had lots of good choices but DH and I each chose two of our siblings. DH and I are also Godparents to a nephew as well as the daughter of close friends. Good Luck.

 

[mudnuri]

The role of the Godparents is to see that the child's catholic upbringing is nurtured in addition to the nurturing the parents do, or in their place if something should happen to them. With that said, I picked who I thought would do the best job at that for each of my kids. We were lucky we had lots of good choices but DH and I each chose two of our siblings. DH and I are also Godparents to a nephew as well as the daughter of close friends. Good Luck

Exactly what we did

DH and I are godparents to the oldest Nephew. DD8's has DBil and my aunt, and DD7 has another DBIL/DSIL

In our families, it's always family members. Nobody has a godparent that is not in our family. All the way back to my brother and my godparents...

Brandy

 

[Beth76]

My cousin (with her first child) chose her (single) sister and my sister and BIL. My BIL thought it was stupid to have two godmothers and made a huge deal about it (to us, not to the mother). But, everyone else was fine with it. So, I say choose your 3 siblings if you don't want to choose between them. Too bad if MIL doesn't like it.

 

[goofy4tink]

I have three kids and only one of them has a godparent that is still in the picture. My first child, now 31, sees neither of his godparents. His godmother was my best friend growing up and she now lives in Ca. My dd, 28, has my son's godmothers ex-dh as her godfather. Haven't seen/heard from him in about 26 years!!! Her godmother is my cousin. Haven't seen her except at family reunions, about once every two years, if that. My youngest dd, 11, has dh's high school best buddie as her godfather and he does a fairly good job at remembering special days. Her godmother is ds's godmother, my high school friend who is in Ca. The funny thing is....dd's godmother is married to dd's godfather's uncle. ANd they all moved to CA!!!

So, I chose people not in the family, people in the family. Didn't matter. And since no one in my family is religious, except for me and immed. family, we had no other choices. We are Episcopalian and I would have liked to have my kid's godparents be somewhat spiritual but looks like that is just not going to happen. My God....they can't even call, send birthday cards.

Funny thing is....when I mentioned to my aunt (my dad's sister) that she was my godmother, she argued with me and said she wasn't!!! I had to get out my baby book before she believed me!!! How's that for non-caring!!??

 

[shelbyjosh]

Both of my kids have my cousin/DH as their godparents. We are godparents for one of their son's. We have discussed that if anything happened to DH and I they were to raise our kids. They are very involved in their Catholic community and we feel our kids would be raised similarly to how we would raise them. We almost chose DH sister/husband for our son. Boy am I glad we didn't because they backstabbed us many times and we haven't talked to them in years. Not the ideal godparents we thought they would be. I am happy with the choice we have made and I know our kids would look to them for guidance, too.

 

[gr8tpanther]

I never did the Godparent thing, people aren't in my life long enough to have that responsibility.

 

[froglady]

We chose a couple who we are close to, and who are very active in our church, for my son. My DD's godparents are my SIL and her husband. All of these people are still close to my children, and remember them on birthdays, etc. My DD's godparents also attend things like graduation and confirmation; my DS will have his first "graduation" next spring, and his godparents will be invited, of course.

 

[Lewski709]

Originally posted by lapinluv
What's your criteria for choosing Godparents? There's no one that's very religious in either of our families.

I had this very same problem. I contacted the church to see if there were any couples that wanted to be God Parents. Then, I decided on my moms friend (I've known her all my life too) and my Uncle (mom's brother). Neither live in town and it was a difficult decision, but with my first the decisions I made were poor. I chose "friends" who were married Catholic (close to my age) and they got a divorce and seperated from the church. Neither of them sees my boy.

I have to get the baby Christened soon after birth, otherwise my MIL will do it herself in the sink. She did this to DD because she was afraid DD was a pagan since we waited six months to have her "official" Christening.

OMG! That's insane. (sorry, just my opinion) I wouldn't have let her do it. Is it recognized, even, by the church?

Good luck in your decision. It's not easy. I recommend going with someone older (40's-60's) and active in the church, on the basis of stability.

 

[Lewski709]

Next issue, guardians. Very hard, very very hard!

 

[Missy1961]

Pick your family members. The important thing is that you are christening your child.

I'm godmother to 2 of my nephews and a niece. I love being a godmother, gives me more of an excuse to spoil those three. And here's a neat thing: my godchildren are Sean (now 13), Samantha (almost 6) and Matthew (age 8 months). Sean & Samantha think we should call Matthew "Smatthew" so he'll match!

 

[dreamgirl]

My sister and I are both godmothers to our cousins child. My cousin couldn't make a decision between us so my mom suggested she just ask both of us. We love being godmothers together and even though people think it is strange I don't really care. We both have our godsons interest at heart. Besides, now he has two godmothers and one godfather to spoil him.

 

[lapinluv]

Originally posted by Lewski709
OMG! That's insane. (sorry, just my opinion) I wouldn't have let her do it. Is it recognized, even, by the church?

ITA. I didn't know she had done it until afterwards. I flipped. It's not her place and she's not even that religious or spriritual! I guess it was just 1950s Catholic School ingrained in her.

Originally posted by Lewski709
Next issue, guardians. Very hard, very very hard!

Tell me about it. We really have no one we trust that much that isn't twice our age....