Child's baseball vent!

[DawnCt1]

Has your son missed many practices?
Do you routinely leave between games?
Did you make every game (barring illness or major family commitment such as a death)?
Were you on time for each game?
Did you stay for the duration of every game to cheer on your teammates?
Did you do all the required volunteer time?

On my kids' teams in the past, play time was not just determined by skill. Coaches took into account practices and commitment to the team, team spirit, and parent volunteerism.

A kid that stinks, but has made it to every single practice and every single game, would usually get more play time than a middle of the road player that misses a practice every week or two.

Unfortunately, on many of the teams, kids play time was also affected by parent's behavior. Did you (global you) do all your assigned volunteer jobs? Did you volunteer for anything extra?

Then the team spirit. Did the kid encourage his teammates? Did he stick around for team bonding?

Don't know how your season went or how your coaches do it, but our teams always factored in way more than just skill to determine play time.

I also want to add that on most teams my kids played on, regular season games were the games where they tried to get everybody in and playing. It was always made abundantly clear that the tournaments, playoffs, etc would always be treated more competitively than the regular season games.

I agree with everything you said. Let me add also that being a good baseball player doesn't come naturally. All boys want to excel at baseball if that is their interest and we as parents have an obligation to help them do that. All of our DSs started Little League early. Prior to even the first practice, DH and I tossed the baseball, practiced catching flies balls, ground balls, line drives, etc. We also went to the batting cages so they would feel confident when they got up to bat. We also signed them up for baseball clinics every year. It wasn't that expensive but it made them good players. As a result, all four were on JV and Varsity teams in high school. Leaving the game and taking a break doesn't look good. The OP's boy is "only seven", but so are most of the boys.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I agree with everything you said. Let me add also that being a good baseball player doesn't come naturally. All boys want to excel at baseball if that is their interest and we as parents have an obligation to help them do that. All of our DSs started Little League early. Prior to even the first practice, DH and I tossed the baseball, practiced catching flies balls, ground balls, line drives, etc. We also went to the batting cages so they would feel confident when they got up to bat. We also signed them up for baseball clinics every year. It wasn't that expensive but it made them good players. As a result, all four were on JV and Varsity teams in high school. Leaving the game and taking a break doesn't look good. The OP's boy is "only seven", but so are most of the boys.

I agree with you and Mickey's Minion. I don't think she should have left the game. It not only teaches kids they can quit when things aren't going their way, it pegs Mom as one of "those" parents (to be avoided when picking teams next year. Right? Maybe not. But it is the reality). There may be a year that a child gets a not so great coach, but that just serves to better appreciate really great coaches when you get them. Pulling your kid out of the sport over something like this deprives your son of a lot more than missing one at bat during the game did, IMO. There were other ways you could have handled it, like speaking to the coach about your concerns.

 

[rigs32]

When the coach asked who was up next, did your son say anything? Remind him he hadn't batted yet? Isn't it possible coach made a mistake and overlooked him?

 

[mjkacmom]

I agree with you and Mickey's Minion. I don't think she should have left the game. It not only teaches kids they can quit when things aren't going their way, it pegs Mom as one of "those" parents (to be avoided when picking teams next year. Right? Maybe not. But it is the reality). There may be a year that a child gets a not so great coach, but that just serves to better appreciate really great coaches when you get them. Pulling your kid out of the sport over something like this deprives your son of a lot more than missing one at bat during the game did, IMO. There were other ways you could have handled it, like speaking to the coach about your concerns.

I agree here, too. Yes, he should've played more. However, you don't take your child home in between games, you don't show up late for games (we've always showed up 30 - 45 minutes early, as the coaches requested). You should not have taken him home early, but spoken with the coach after. Maybe it was an oversight? Ds 12 once played the first 3 innings, and sat the next 6 (extra innings). DH mentioned it to the coach, and he said he was superstitious. Whatever. Ds then played every inning afterwards, because he played well, and the coach saw what he could do.

Ds7 spends hours each week practicing baseball and soccer (with ds12). He's pretty good, and you can tell he has an older brother!

 

[luvsJack]

I agree with others about not leaving between games. When ds played, they were not allowed to leave between games at all.

I wouldn't just pull him out. Find out the rules about playing time. There has to be some kid of minimum. We don't have Little League, we have Dixie Youth Baseball but the minimum was still one at bat and 3 outs in the field. If that rule wasn't followed the team forfeited the game.

Most of the time the scorekeepers keep up with making sure everyone is put in the game. They go by the roster that is given to them before the game.

Is it possible that you arrived at the last minute and your son was left off the roster?

 

[TexasErin]

We left between games because that's what we were told to do. There was over an hour between the two games and all of the fields were taken so they couldn't be practicing. There was nothing else to do. We were told by the coach what time to be back.

As far as to possibly being left off the rostor, when we came back the last game before was still going on. We were told the game started at 9:00 (yes, 9:00 which is even later than the 8:00 game that we had earlier in the season that people have commented on being late)- we were there by 8:45. I really don't think that he would have been forgotten. And he sat there in the dug-out with his baseball helmet on and bat in his hands the whole time. When the coach called everybody over to them to yell at, my son was right in front of him of the berating even though he hadn't gotten to play.

The whole impression that I got was even though my son scores some, that the coach couldn't care less if he were there or not.

 

[luvsJack]

We left between games because that's what we were told to do. There was over an hour between the two games and all of the fields were taken so they couldn't be practicing. There was nothing else to do. We were told by the coach what time to be back.

As far as to possibly being left off the rostor, when we came back the last game before was still going on. We were told the game started at 9:00 (yes, 9:00 which is even later than the 8:00 game that we had earlier in the season that people have commented on being late)- we were there by 8:45. I really don't think that he would have been forgotten. And he sat there in the dug-out with his baseball helmet on and bat in his hands the whole time. When the coach called everybody over to them to yell at, my son was right in front of him of the berating even though he hadn't gotten to play.

The whole impression that I got was even though my son scores some, that the coach couldn't care less if he were there or not.

My suggestion to you is to talk to the coach AWAY from the ball park. Call him and tell him how your son felt about not playing and ask him what his policy on playing time is.. He really, honestly may have gotten caught up in the game and not realized what happened. I am surprised it wasn't brought to his attention by the officials, but since they lost anyway maybe they felt there was no need

 

[Pea-n-Me]

The whole impression that I got was even though my son scores some, that the coach couldn't care less if he were there or not.

Your impression may or may not have been accurate. I'm sure the coach had a whole lot of other things on his mind that night as well (safety comes to mind). I'm Mom for one of my son's teams, so I hear both sides of things - coaches sides and parents' sides. It's amazing how both sides often have no idea how the other is feeling. And even more amazing is that very few are willing to talk to eachother about it.

 

[skater]

Yes, they're all 7, and its a poor coach who forgets that. Why would he yell at them about their performance at that age? Coaches should try to help their kids win, but not to the exclusion of players (there's time enough for that later). Individual player development should trump winning at that age.

If its not fun, he will lose interest. I have a 12 year old soccer player who was not serious at a young age. We didn't do tons of soccer stuff when he was little - it was just fun (as it should be) At about 10, HE decided he was serious about it and his drive and determination has made him a great player. You don't have to be serious about a sport when you're 7. You should be respectful of the coach of course, and meet his requirements, but if you subject your child to that kind of coaching at his age, he will quit.

My son also used to play baseball. He was a great batter with lots of natural talent. His coaches (at age 8 or 9) ruined it for him. They made it too serious when it should have been fun. That was when he quit baseball for good and only played soccer. Turns out it was a great move for him, but it was an example of coaches stealing the game from the players.

My advice to the OP is to talk to the coach and if you're not satisfied, find your son a better coach next season.

 

[DawnCt1]

He had an 8pm game --- at 7 years old?

School is out for the summer. One knows they have an 8 o'clock game and plans for it, either with a nap or sleeping late that day or the next.

 

[TexasErin]

School is out for the summer. One knows they have an 8 o'clock game and plans for it, either with a nap or sleeping late that day or the next.

This 8:00 game was in May when school was still in session.

 

[TexasErin]

I have decided to try to talk to the coach. I called but got his voicemail and chose not to leave a message. And no, I don't think he even knows our home phone number, so I don't think he's not answering just because its me.

I will try back this afternoon, I guess. I just feel miserable about the whole situation. If I had a crystal ball and could have seen that DS would not enjoy it- and the hassle that this whole thing has turned out to be, we never would have signed up.

But I hate having these unresolved bad feelings, so I will try to call back later.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Yes, they're all 7, and its a poor coach who forgets that. Why would he yell at them about their performance at that age? Coaches should try to help their kids win, but not to the exclusion of players (there's time enough for that later). Individual player development should trump winning at that age.

If its not fun, he will lose interest. I have a 12 year old soccer player who was not serious at a young age. We didn't do tons of soccer stuff when he was little - it was just fun (as it should be) At about 10, HE decided he was serious about it and his drive and determination has made him a great player. You don't have to be serious about a sport when you're 7. You should be respectful of the coach of course, and meet his requirements, but if you subject your child to that kind of coaching at his age, he will quit.

My son also used to play baseball. He was a great batter with lots of natural talent. His coaches (at age 8 or 9) ruined it for him. They made it too serious when it should have been fun. That was when he quit baseball for good and only played soccer. Turns out it was a great move for him, but it was an example of coaches stealing the game from the players.

My advice to the OP is to talk to the coach and if you're not satisfied, find your son a better coach next season.

ITA.

It is so true that if you subject a child to poor coaching it will turn them off to the sport. It's a shame but it absolutely happens.

 

[TexasErin]

ITA.

It is so true that if you subject a child to poor coaching it will turn them off to the sport. It's a shame but it absolutely happens.

I totally agree with you and Skater that it will turn them off to the sport. DS has already said that he won't play next year. He loved t-ball, which I realize is a lot different and easier than baseball, but has had a bad experience this year.

 

[Denine]

Wow! DD (7-1/2) plays and loves it. She does coach pitch and they don't keep score let alone have tournaments at this age. I think you need to talk to the coach to find out why he didn't get to play. Sitting on the bench isn't fun for anyone.

 

[Art 1]

My first year I sat on the bench at age 7. In those days the best players played and we had a team full of 12 year olds. By the time I was in HS I was playing on several all star teams. I would make him finish the season.

 

[dsny1mom]

Once my children entered 1st grade I allowed them to sign up for any sport or activity they thought they wanted to be involved in. The only stipulation that we had was they HAD to finish out the year, season, length of class, etc. No excuses. They didn't get to play alot, they didn't like the coach, they hated practice, they changed their mind about their LOVE of the sport or whatever didn't matter.

I did check into the sport or activity so my childen would know all that it involved. But once they had me sign them up they were in it till the bitter end. LOL

I feel it really helped them to think things through before joining sports or activities as they got older. It also helped develop their abilty to stick things out even when it might have been easier to just walk away. They also learned about committment early in life and that has become a real blessing to them as young adults.

The OP might be in a different situation if the coach is being cruel to the children. But as long as my children were safe and not being abused they had to finish what they started and not complain about it because they knew upfront quiting was not an option.

dsny1mom

 

[chager]

Since this sounds like a rec league and not travel ball, everyone should get to play. As far as a coach berating 7year olds, he is out of line! Our rec league had a couple coaches like that. They were told they either changed their behavior or they didn't coach. We never had either of them, lucky for them cause this parent will not sit back and allow such behavior. My son is now almost 16 and has played travel and rec. league. He just finished rec this season cause we didn't have the $800+ for travel this year. I agree with checking the league rules about play time. In travel ball it is possible to pay and your son never or occasionally plays, but in rec that should not be the case. Especially for minor and majors when they are still learning. So sorry this happened to your son.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Don't know what that coach's problem is. In our local little league all kids get to play, no matter if they stink or are great. It's not professional ball, they're playing for fun. Stinkeroo to him.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

You know, I'm really not sure if its Little League or not. The registration material only states Bullard Baseball Association.....Bullard is the name of our town.

I called DH livid and told him that I was going to make a complaint. He told me that he thinks the coach is either the president or the vice president of the BBA.

I just googled your baseball association too.

This is definitely NOT a rec league. As a PP said, they take their baseball seriously.

OP, your league rule book is on the website. Your board of directors are also on the website.

I think this is a situation of a new parent signing up a child for baseball, not really realizing what kind of league they are becoming involved with.

The catch-22 is that parents who are not yet seasoned sports parents really don't know how to research leagues. Only when you become experienced sports parents do you know what to look for and what kind of league is best for your child.

The OP unwittingly signed her son up for a competitive league that takes their tournaments very seriously and then was blindsided when the team became competitive during a tournament.

OP, I would check out your local YMCA and see if they have a rec league your child could join. Let him learn to enjoy baseball again before trying a competitive league again.

Then one of the other mothers mentions that this isn't even a tournament game- this was just for extra practice.

The other thing that comes to mind is that the OP said that the game her son sat out was not even a tournament game, but a practice scrimmage.

In all our years of sports, practice scrimmages were understood to be completely different than league play. These were games that were specifically set up so that the coaches can try different things with different kids outside of league rules. It was always understood that in practice scrimmages, you may or may not play.