Children of Hoarders

[MushyMushy]

My dad wasn't a true hoarder - but there was just too much "stuff". We lived together for the last decade.

I swear I hauled stuff out of there for 10 years. Of course I'd moved back with all of my belongings plus my late uncle had left stuff there.

I used to tell my dad that whatever he missed was "in the attic". If everything was "in the attic" that I'd said the ceiling would have fallen in.

Of course right now that house (which I moved out of last year when he moved to a retirement home) looks like a hoarder house. We are getting ready to have an estate sale so my sister and everyone else is moving furniture over there to sell it.

I love these estate sale people. They come in organize, clean, sell what they can, donate what can be donated, and dump the rest. You end up with an EMPTY house. They take 35% of the proceeds of the sale stuff. I would pay someone to empty this house.

So will they deal with it in whatever condition it's in? (wow talk about ending your sentence in a preposition!)

 

[wed100105]

I just want to give you hugs. My mom is a hoarder as well. She has a great job and is a fabulous lady, but lives suffocating in stuff. (Nice stuff-Hansa animals, Longaberger, etc.) She never can stop. Hugs. Hugs. Hugs.

 

[arminnie]

So will they deal with it in whatever condition it's in? (wow talk about ending your sentence in a preposition!)

Well the first company turned us down! They mostly deal with mansions with antiques though. This house has been on the market with no one living in it (or cleaning it) since last August. It is really a horrible mess. My sister and I emptied all of the cabinets and drawers while checking for stuff we wanted so it is awful. It will take the estate company at least two weeks (so they estimated) to get it ready for the sale. Their only rule was that once we turn it over to them we are not to come back and start cherry picking after they get it set up. Of course if they find any jewelry or cash they will notify us.

We were told not to wash anything (like dishes or stuff in the cabinet) as they will do that anyway.

 

[golfgal]

Some good friends of ours have a hoarder in the family, her mom. For a while there they were just tempted to take a match to the house because it sure would have been a lot easier. She had paths through her house to get to things. Every single surface of the house had junk on it. She even had boxes on her deceased husband's side of the bed. She decided to move into a townhome and it took ALL SUMMER to clean out the house. They had a HUGE weeklong garage sale and made over $5000. Well, she has been in her townhome for about 5 years and it is just as bad as her house.

My step-mom isn't really a hoarder but she has a lot of 'stuff'. They will probably be moving sometime in the next year and I am sure we will go down and help clean things out. She has a lot of NICE things (some of which I will be more than happy to load into my car ) but it is still a lot of STUFF.

 

[Imzadi]

 

[MushyMushy]

Thanks for the forum links. I skimmed through it last night and I think there could be some decent advice in there. Based on what they were saying about squalor vs hoarding, I think parts of the house could qualify for squalor, while others not. I think no matter how well intentioned the person is in keeping clean, how can you really keep a six foot pile of junk free from dirt? That's what I dealt with in the kitchen -- a six foot monster pile of what I thought would be good pots and pans as well as Tupperware and unfortunately turned out to be junk.

Although I do understand that it's a mental illness, I'm still mad that we were left with this herculean task. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday who had to go through the same thing with his parents' house and he said he was angry for a good long time, but got over it eventually.

Meanwhile, my house is going to hell in a handbasket because I'm neglecting it.

 

[Imzadi]

I'm not saying that understanding it will make you less mad. Just that you don't go crazy, too, constantly asking, "How can somebody do this???"

Remember, although you and your Sis are stuck handling this whole mess, remind yourself not to take it personally. He didn't deliberately do this TO you.