Children in stores

[Aurora63]

I have to say first, that I work in a dept. store, and I am not a partent, so you are getting an extremely biased view here.

However, what is with people who let there kids run all over the place in stores, and just wreak havoc!! yesterday, I had a woman shopping in my section. She was with her daughter, who looked about 5 or 6. This woman was looking at clothes, while half-heartedly saing, "Christina, stay by me." What was little Christina doing? Running around the racks, climbing into the middle of them, yelling, and basically being a pain in the butt!

I kept holding my toungue, thinking if I were a parent, and someone spoke to my child to tell them not to do something, I might be offended. But then I thought of the other customers who were having to deal with this. But I had to say something when she was crawling on the floor and nearly had someone trip on her. I, very politely, but firmly, told her that she had to stay on her feet, and walk. Mom then says again, "Christina, that's it, stay by me." This lasts about two minutes, at which point, our little Christina is again finding another way to make a disruption. To top it off, mom goes into the dressing room WITHOUT the girl. Just leaves her in the section w/ no supervision, or maybe thinking I get paid to watch children.

I was thrilled when they left.

The thing is, I love children, hope to have my own someday. And this was not "little Christina's" fault...the mom just lets her daughter run wild, it seems! As though the rest of the world wants to hear her antics. Little Christina needs some guidance, and sadly, is not getting it at home.

Why do some parents let this happen? If I were to take my child shopping with me, and they acted like that, we would be going home immediately...had I done this as a child, my dad would have let me have it. I just don't understand why some parents can just stand by and let their child do this.

Okay, rant is now over, feel free to agree or point out how I am wrong!

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, I don' t think you're wrong, and I agree with you that it's not the child's fault if the parent does not teach her how to behave by setting limits. And i know children do not behave perfectly all the time, nor does anyone expect them to, but what I expect is that parents of a misbehaving child will take the responsibility of correcting the child's behavior, teaching them the proper way to behave in a store, a restaurat, the movies and wherever else the child may go. And sometimes it stinks to be a parent, because you have to sacrifice your good time to make a point, and therein may lie the problem.

I can recall as an 8 year old, we were in a restaurant and I was acting up and my mother told me that if I acted up one more time that she and I were going to go sit in the car for the rest of the meal, until my father and brother were done. Now in my 8 year old wisdom, I thought "Mom isn't going to miss a restaurant dinner if I act up. She's bluffing." Newsflash!!!!! She wasn't bluffing. I acted up again and off to the car she and I went. And let me tell you...she wasn't happy. Consequently, neither was I. I wasn't a stupid child, and learned several lessons that day:
1. Mom means what she says
2. Mom will forego her own pleasure to make a point
3. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Unfortunately, many people today are busy being their childrens' friends and not their parents. My mother never particularly wanted to be my friend...I think she felt she had enough friends her own age and didn't need a friend who was 30 years younger.

 

[cinlee3]

I was in a store the other day with my daughter. There was a little girl rummaging through breakables, pulling things off the shelves all while her mother was talking and checking out. There was a clerk just standing over the girl, I guess trying to make sure she didn't break anything.

My daughter was quietly standing next to me and helping me hold a package. When we got up to the counter, the clerk asked if she could have a sucker. I said sure. Then the clerk thanked her for being such a good girl. It sure made an impression on my daughter. She even noticed the other girls wasn't acting the way you are supposed to in a store.

 

[d.kurz]

I have children AND I work in retail and I TOTALLY agree. Most of our damages in the stores are from kids with parents not paying any attention. Often BIG ticket items. Or they send them to the plush aisle to "play". That stuff is for SALE, not playtime while Mom shops. And if you correct these unsupervised kids the parents are often infuriated.

 

[FreshTressa]

I agree with you for the most part...

But as the mom of a 4 and 5 year old, let me tell you, shopping with them is tough! It wasn't so bad before when I could use a double stroller and they stayed quietly in there, but now that they have to walk, they get very bored and tired.

I do not let them touch anything. They are not allowed to run. They have never been destructive. Those are definate no no's. Also, leaving the child unattended for even a moment is definately not safe and it is NOT your job to watch out for them.

They do, however, roll around on the floor around me, sometimes going under clothes racks (the do not climb). Not all the time, but when I am frazzled and have to get my errands done. I guess I am not quite sure what else they are supposed to do. They are not just going to stand there quietly next to me like zombies.

I am sure it probably bothers some people, and I wish I could leave them at home. But I do hope some people can show some understanding and compassion to children trying to adapt to a world designed for adults.

It is not a discipline issue with me. My kids are obedient and disciplined. So, I guess it is my fault for allowing it. I just feel sorry for them having to follow me around while I run errands.

Now, throw flames at me everyone for being a bad mommy

 

[FreshTressa]

(and when I say NOT your job, I mean not the employees job)

 

[Megan's Mom]

This reminds me of one of the Stella awards. A lady sued a store because a child was running around the store and she tripped over the child and was hurt. she sued and won a sum of money.


The child that she tripped over was her own!!

 

[FreshTressa]

WHAT????

That has got to be joke!

How on earth can it be a stores fault for a mom not watching her own kid??????

 

[nkjzmom]

This is why I can sometimes be found at the local grocery store at all hours of the night.....after DH is home and the kids are asleep!


Most of the time the kids are great...just how I'd always like them to be. Other times...not so much

 

[Poohnatic]

I also work in retail...

What I don't understand is the parents who give their child an item to 'distract' them while mom or dad shops. They don't understand why the child cries when the item is taken away.

Also, by allowing their child to run wild in my store, open up stuff, play and leave toys and clothing all over the floor, climb my shelves that they are setting a horrible precedent. That child will do the same exact things at home because they were allowed to do it in my store. The difference is that at home, that parent is yelling "Where did you get the idea that you could do this, blah blah blah".


Suzanne

 

[FreshTressa]

Hmmm, now if they would just keep the MALL open 24 hours. Oh, but maybe that might not be a good thing


That is true about your kids not respecting the store, they won't respect at home, or anywhere else for that matter.

We went on a non disney cruise last year that was mostly elderly poeple, very few kids, and we got complimented about 10+ times a day about the behavior of our children. It really isn't the kid that needs training, it is the parent.

I wonder how much it costs the average consumer, all of the destruction caused by out of control kids??

 

[Megan's Mom]

Fresh Tesssa I hate to tell you but it isn't a joke. Do a search on the Stella Awards and you will find this one and also many others that are very similar. They were named for the lady that spilled hot coffee on herself at McDonald's and sued and won. You would be surprised at the the judicial system will handle these days.

 

[d.kurz]

FreshTressa I wasn't talking about the kids that are rambunctious with a parent trying to handle the situation. Hey, we've all been there. It's the kids with the parents who aren't even TRYING to keep ONE EYE on them!!! This happens LOTS.

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

DW is a retail manager and constantly battles disobedient children.

She recently had one in her store (she works for Hallmark) that was about 3ish - the mom was reading the cards and was letting little "precious" pull all the cards down from the rack, bending them and making them unsellable in the process.

One of her employees went over to the child and said "sweetie, don't pull on the cards like that because they'll get bent". The mother pitched a wall-eyed fit that someone spoke to her child, stormed out and wrote a letter to the company.

Mothers give their children stuffed animals to hold while they shop and allow the children to chew on them and then hand them over at the register and ask for someone to put them back. Can you imagine buying a stuffed toy for your child not realizing that it spent 20 minutes in another kids mouth?

Best one was the mother that changed her child's diaper in the store and used stuffed animals to ummm... wipe up, and then put the animals back on the shelf. Ironically it was a Pooh plush that was covered in... well, you know.

And people wonder why the cost of things keep going up. Between shoplifting and in store damages it's a wonder small businesses can even make it.

 

[delikado]

It's just unbelievable what some parents will let their children get away with nowadays! I don't know if it's because they're afraid to punish or discipline the little devils/angels (in this day and age where children are encouraged to report their folks to the child abuse hotline), but it just isn't right. Of course REAL child abuse occurs in the world, but it seems that more and more parents don't want to discipline their kids for fear of getting sent to jail! It's really quite a shame...

Back when I was younger, I would always accompany my mom when she went shopping (I'm the youngest, and only girl as well), and we had the "hands behind your back" rule. If we were ever in an area where there were breakables or expensive items, she would only have to say "Put your hands behind your back, honey." and believe me, that's where they would stay until she said otherwise. She never, ever spanked me when I was little, but she sure was good at putting the fear of God in me

 

[Toby'sFriend]

oh I know.
Kids usually don't bother me. But my son's are taking Reading enrichment classes this summer up at the local Jr. College. The parents are supposed to be in the hall 10 minutes early to pick up the kids...

There is this one lady who always shows up with her kid. He screams at the top of his lungs and runs up and down the hallway ripping posters off the bulletin boards and throwing them down. This week he ran into the bathroom and we could hear lots of screaming and banging going on -- then he came out with huge streamers of toilet paper hanging out of his ears.... yelling and running and screaming "I'm an Elephant!!!" His Mom just stands there saying "Matt please don't act like that. Matt please don't act like that. MATT please don't act like that." But she never actually moves her butt off the wall she's leaning on to chase him down and enforce her words.

After the elephant episode somebody finally asked her "Uh how old is he?" HE'S 7!!!!!!!!!! That is much to old for that kind of behavior. He's a smallish 7 and I actually thought he was probably about 4 years old.

The thing is, there are college classes going on and I'm sure he's bugging the heck out of those Professors.

 

[Aurora63]

You know, one day, I thought to myself, why do people bring kids to stores when they are shopping? And I had to remind myself, "In the real world, you can't just go where you want without your kids at any given time."

I guess I had that thought because I work in women's apparel, a place where women shop for themselves, usually leisurely, and for some enjoyment. As a woman, I can't imagine how unenjoyable it would be to be trying on clothes while keeping an eye on your little bugger. I probably wouldn't bother. But, of course, some women don't get the luxury of coming without the kids. Which is fine. I just wish more of them would be stronger on setting boundaries for their kids.

Two examples, just from today. One was a mom w/ her young son, he looked about 4. He was sweet, trying to help his mom pick something. When he got bored, he started trying to do this "long jump" manuver in the aisle, mom firmly said no, and he listened.

The other...two women, who looked about 30 and 20, walk into my department with six, yes six children, ranging in age from about four to ten. They pick out some things to try on, and they ALL go to the dressing rooms together. How wonderful, she is supervising them...of course, the kids start slamming dressing room doors, climbing on the chairs and looking into ajacent rooms...I am so glad no one else was in there at the time. The women did literally nothing to stop this. This is not just annoying, but completely disrespectful of anyone who might be shopping at the same time.

Ugh. Kids will be kids, but some moms need to be moms and not buddies.

 

[goofygirl]

Sounds like a rant I'd see on here:

http://www.fred.net/turtle/kids/kidrants.shtml

Its a place where you rant about ill parenting and bratty kids!

(Warning: site contains R rated language!)

 

[Whitegloves]

I do a lot of art festivals, the kind where you set up your booth and show your wares. (In my case, handpainted items.) So often it is the parent who doesn't make the little ones listen that is the problem. I have had kids come into the booth dripping ice cream or soda all over things. I've had the 'I gotta touch every single thing in this booth' kids. I've had the mother with the double stroller who brings it into a 10 x 10 booth (complete with tables and display racks) and tries to perform figure 8's, all the while the kids reaching out and grabbing anything they can get their hands on. I could go on. I also have to point out the many well behaved children with thoughful parents who realize that some things are to be looked at, respected and not touched and teach their children the same.
I have 3 children myself, two of them now adults. They were taught to respect others. Sure, sometimes kids get rambunctious, they are, after all, kids. It's the parents who do nothing to teach them proper behavior that get to me.
FreshTressa, I wouldn't think of you as a bad mom, quite the opposite. You obviously care for your children.

 

[isyne4u]

I'm with everyone else who believes the parents are responsible.

I work retail also, and have had to deal with the same issues of kids running, jumping, and generally in the way of the others trying to shop. I'm a teacher by day and retail by night so i use my teacher voice when kids are doing something they are not supposed to. I have never had a parent complain about it either, I think they know they should have been watching the child climb up a fixture with the snowglobes on it.

I'm also the mother of a VERY active 3 year old. He has recently begun to have temper tantrums and I have been forced to remove him from places and like one poster said remove him from a restaurant. This past Mother's day we had gone with the grandmas and the aunt and uncle to a very nice Japanese SteakHouse for dinner. My son decided he wanted to have everything his way. I quietly told him to calm down, I removed him for a time out, we walked out of the building and then back in and finally I warned him that if he didn't settle down we would leave the restaurant and not eat. (This all took place in about 25 minutes and I only had my salad that I had not even touched yet) I finally told him one more outburst and we would go home and the rest could eat their dinner in peace. He tried throwing things in the floor and that is when we got up. i was not going to subject these other mother's in the place to my terrorist and his antics. Needless to say he screamed all the way home and I cried for my ruined Mother's day, but I did not let him ruin the day for others. (sidenote: the next day I ordered 6 books from bn.com on dealing with the defiant child and taming toddlers--they haven't helped yet but hey I tried!!)