Children in opposite gender bathrooms

[ToddyLu]

I don't have children but I do have an opinion. Boy or girl does not matter..the restroom is a restroom and male or female we all have parts. Have we come so far that a girl child is somehow traumatized by entering a male restroom with her father? My dad would have me protected at all costs but would have, I hope, taken me in a male restroom in this situation. In fact, when I see him over Thanksgiving I am going to ask him if he can remember ever doing it...I am 46 and he is 77...I am then going to ask my brother who has four girls and one son what he did or does, his range in age from 6-21...interesting.

 

[mjkacmom]

Since the ladies room was closed, I don't see a problem. However, DH only took the girls into the mens room in an emergency, like if I wasn't there (or she really had to go, and the line in the ladies room was too long).

My boys were using the mens room on their own starting around 6 or so, unless we were at a creepy highway rest stop. They were mature enough at 8 to use the mens room, and wait for me right outside.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I am almost certain that there is not a rule as to the age cut off when bringing a child into a different sex bathroom. In this age of transgenders, and handicap rights ,they would never touch that one with a ten foot pole. I have seen tons of boys, even 9 or10 in women's rest rooms, and at five, DH took our DN with him if they were out alone. I have also seen a few grown men that were very much mentally disabled in women's WDW bathrooms. I would have asked to speak to a manager. As a boy mom, I always sent the boys with DH if he was there, after about age 5 but if he was not along, they went with me until around 8, depending on the location. Every family has to choose what works for them.

 

[ilovemk76]

We had a weird situation while on vacation at Disney last week. We were having dinner at Crystal Palace and the ladies room was out of order. I had just recently washed my hands so I wasn't too concerned for myself, but we had forgotten our hand sanitizer so I sent my husband with our two children (girl- 5, boy- 8) to have them wash their hands in the men's room.

He was stopped by a cast member and this conversation ensued:

Cast Member- "What do you think you're doing?"
Him- "Taking my children to wash their hands."
CM- "The ladies room is closed."
Him- "That's fine. I'm taking them into the men's room"
CM- "But you have a girl."
Him- "She's five."
CM- "That's exactly my point. She is way too old to be going with you into the men's room."

She refused to let him in with her so he returned her to me and was really shaken up by it.

I'm sure how people feel about this issue varies from family to family and that's totally fine. I just didn't care for a CM rudely dictating how our family is allowed to raise our children.

We didn't say anything at the time because we were trying to salvage our dinner but we definitely left with a sour taste in our mouths. I still take our 8 year old into the women's room with me at Disney if I have to go because if we're off with just the two of us, there is never a line in the men's room, so he'd finish first and come out and have to stand in the middle of a theme park without an adult while I finish. My daughter can't even reach the soap on her own, so I'm not sure how she'd be capable of going into the ladies room without me to wash hands.

5 year old girls are too old for the men's room and 8 year old boys are way too old for the women's room.

Your fears should not trump others right to not have that child in the opposite gender restroom with them.

 

[tomeaine]

Very surprised this happened...I bring my daughter into men's room a few times in emergency situations. Yes it could be slightly embarrassed by the sights and sounds she may be exposed to. I tend to sheild her away from the urinals and bee line to the toilets.

 

[maxiesmom]

5 year old girls are too old for the men's room and 8 year old boys are way too old for the women's room.

Your fears should not trump others right to not have that child in the opposite gender restroom with them.

The OP's case is slightly different, in that the womens restroom was out of order. The CM who was so quick to stop the dad taking his daughter into the mens room should have told them there is another womens restroom nearby.

I do agree that there are way too many older children in the opposite sexed bathrooms at WDW on a day to day basis. If a mom feels the need to bring their son in the womens room, then the only place for them is in the stall with mom. If they are too old to be in the stall with mom, they are too old for the womens restroom. Period.

 

[wdw4rfam]

I love restroom debates. This comes up once in a while here and it gets heated. I am waiting for those women to jump in and say that their daughters/ themselves are violated by a boy of xx age on the women's room in another stall Kids need to wash their hands before they eat especially at Disney with all the germs. I would have walked right past that CM. And said open the women's room, or we will use this one

 

[cattywampus]

CMs do not set policies, period. She was way out of line and should be disciplined or fired. Unless there is a written policy available to guests, she has no right to say anything to anyone.

We are just returning from our first trip to WDW (we are DLR vets and aware of the bi-coastal CM debates). We found 99% of all CM to be wonderful, but a few were way, way off (much more than I have ever encountered in any Disney theme park). I am guessing they won't last long.

 

[ilovemk76]

The OP's case is slightly different, in that the womens restroom was out of order. The CM who was so quick to stop the dad taking his daughter into the mens room should have told them there is another womens restroom nearby.

I do agree that there are way too many older children in the opposite sexed bathrooms at WDW on a day to day basis. If a mom feels the need to bring their son in the womens room, then the only place for them is in the stall with mom. If they are too old to be in the stall with mom, they are too old for the womens restroom. Period.

It was not like the nearest restroom was a mile away. They were at the CP. Another restroom was by Casey's. Honestly, if I was that worried about clean hands before eating, I would just carried hand sanitizer.

 

[MamaBearJohnson]

It was not like the nearest restroom was a mile away. They were at the CP. Another restroom was by Casey's. Honestly, if I was that worried about clean hands before eating, I would just carried hand sanitizer.

We had hand sanitizer attached to our usual park bag, but had switched to a different bag to fit dd's dress for BBB that day and forgot to switch the sanitizer. It was a fluke thing.

We would have happily used a restroom outside of the restaurant, but we were so thrown off by the rude encounter that it didn't even occur to us at the time. It's one thing for her to say "Oh I'm so sorry! Our ladies room is out of order, but since you've got a little princess with you, why don't I direct you to our nearest companion restroom." if she had a problem with it. It would have been received much better and wouldn't have made my husband feel like a criminal for taking his daughter to wash her hands. It's another thing for her to angrily say our daughter was "way too old" to be going with her father and not allow him in. That's an opinion, her opinion, which was forced at us like it was policy, which I'm certain it is not. Clearly how people feel about this issue varies from person to person and there is no hard and fast age. I feel that two year olds shouldn't use bottles and that three year olds shouldn't have pacifiers and that children under 10 shouldn't be left unsupervised at the toy aisle in stores while their parents shop. But those are my opinions. And it's not up to me (or to a CM) to tell parents what is appropriate for their child.

 

[lan3]

When my kids were 5, we started letting them go into the bathrooms alone but there were many times that they could not reach soap, etc. There is nothing wrong with a 5 year old going into the men's bathroom with her dad. There is no policy against opposite genders in the bathrooms with their parents and this CM should keep her personal opinions to herself.

 

[Marthasor]

I would e-mail Disney guest services. It is absolutely ridiculous that your child was not allowed to wash her hands with her father. The CM should have kept her opinion to herself.

 

[brymolmom]

While I personally think that it is fine in this case for a quick run into the mens room for hand-washing I also agree that many people take kids of opposite gender in WAY TOO OLD. And it is exactly because of the reason that society often disappoints me these days...because it is all about their own child.

Think of this from an 8, 9, 10, or 13 year old boy's perspective...At the urinal, doing your business and dad turns away for a second and the little girl either accidentally or due to curiosity turns and looks at the goods...That is major embarrassment for him. I know my 12 year old ds would be mortified.

So unless it is an emergency or you are a single parent- I would say to find another place to wash.

 

[GotLabradors]

Honestly, I really don't care one way or the other. If a mom wanted to bring her 8 y.o. son into the women's restroom with her because she was concerned about him being alone, then by all means who am I to judge. I am more of a free range type of parent, but I know that some people think that's just as nuts as being overly protective. By the time my boys were 8, they were refusing to go into the women's restroom with me. I let them use the men's restroom. I also wouldn't hesitate to go into a men's restroom if I thought something was up with my son.

As for the CM, she'd better watch out because she's going to run into someone like my husband who will tell her to pretty much kiss his bottom and keep on trucking into the bathroom with our daughter. I agree with the previous post which suggested the CM could have worded her objection in a much more positive manner.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

If you are going to do it, at least have the courtesy to yell out, "Female on deck."

Same thing if you take your older son into the ladies room. Oh, and don't let your son wait outside of your stall. I am really tired of young men staring into my stall.

 

[Dayzy]

How was this CM rude; because you didn't like what she said? I'm pretty sure she doesn't care how you raise your kids. She was right; a five year old girl should not be in the men's room, especially for a non-emergency (to wash hands). Good for her for speaking up.

An 8 year old boy should not be in the women's room either. That is ridiculous.

A few years ago in my local mall, a dad took his 7 year old daughter to the movies. This is a huge mall, very busy place. the 7 year old was sent alone into the ladies room and was followed in by a male in his 40's. The man went right behind her into a stall and molested her.

So, if my husband is out with our daughter, whether at Disney World or the local mall, he is bringing her into the men's room rather then send a small child into what could be a dangerous situation.

 

[NicholeB630]

I am sorry but I agree with those saying its perfectly fine to send your child in a bathrom with opposite gender parent. My daughter is 5 years old and if she is out with my husband and they are somewhere that the bathroom is really big or a busy place, she is NOT old enough to go in by herself. Not because she cant but because its not safe. Anything can happen anywhere and there are horrible people out there. She is no way old enough to defend herself in a bathroom alone with an adult. If we are somewhere that is a one or two stall place and I know no one else has gone in then I will watch her go in alone if I dont need to go but for a busy big place no way. They are still kids. They should not be left unattended anywhere. I am not concerned with a 13 year old boy getting embarrassed because of a small girl in the bathroom, I am pretty sure her safety is way more important. And I will be taking my son in the bathroom with me for the same amount of time. I dont know at what age is ok for the to go alone in a busy place. Parents have the right to take their kids places and use bathrooms if needed. No I am not going to take my 14 year old boy in the woman's bathroom or let my 12 year old daughter in the men's but young kids. You teach your kids to not touch things and to look down or not look at other people in the bathroom as simple as that. I know my husband always takes her straight to a stall. Those who say 5 is way to old to be in the opposite sex's bathroom I am really sorry you feel that way and I dont see how you have knowledge of child safety. I think that CM was rather rude to say that to your husband. For all they know your child could have had a disability that enables her to go in any bathroom alone regardless of age.

 

[NicholeB630]

A few years ago in my local mall, a dad took his 7 year old daughter to the movies. This is a huge mall, very busy place. the 7 year old was sent alone into the ladies room and was followed in by a male in his 40's. The man went right behind her into a stall and molested her.

So, if my husband is out with our daughter, whether at Disney World or the local mall, he is bringing her into the men's room rather then send a small child into what could be a dangerous situation.

This exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a scary thing to happen!!

 

[njmom76]

DD is 6 and goes with DH to a lot of places without me. It really depends where they are and what the bathrooms are like if he lets her go in alone. Malls, zoos, WDW with large bathrooms and sometimes multiple entrances/exits, she will use the men's room. Smaller restaurants, restrooms, she goes in alone and still she has issues reaching water/soap about 1/3rd of the time. And an even bigger issue than sending her in alone is when he has to use the facility, there is no way she is standing outside alone waiting for him.

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[elaine amj]

As a parent, they have the right to decide what to expose their child to, not a stranger at a restaurant. She was 5 not 10 or 15, 5. She was with a parent, not alone and her appropriate gender restroom was closed.

ITA. Leave it up to the parents!

My kids did go by themselves at a pretty younge age. but that was MY decision. I completely understand if others might not be comfortable with that.

Seriously, what damage can a 5 yr old girl do in a men's washroom going with her dad to wash her hands?