Childhood confessions

[Conservative Hippie]

Ok, time for me to rat out my brother!

When I was a senior and he was a freshman, my brother somehow got his hands on his biology teacher's answer key for the final exam. He took it and, like a complete and total idiot, told a friend of his. Naturally it got back to the teacher, but instead of calling Mom, she called me. I sufficiently yelled at my brother for it, he ended up taking a much harder exam, and our mother still has no idea...

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

I used to forge my dad's name to write absence excuse notes.

My friends & I used to cop out in the bathrooms in school.

I used to come home after a night of partying & race to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. My parents were always sitting on the couch waiting to talk to me, but I led them to believe I had a week bladder.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I lied in my First Confession. I've heard people joke about it, but I really did it.

I hadn't done anything wrong and was flipping out about what to say. Our teacher gave us examples of thinking mean things, hitting a sibling, and stealing money from mom's purse. So, I went in and said I thought mean things about the kids at school, hit my brother and stole money from my mom's purse.

I got 3 Hail Marys and 2 Our Fathers.

Back then parents didn't have to go through all the crap we do now. My mom did zip, just sent me off to school and asked when I got home, "How did it go?" Fine. "Were you nervous." A little. "How did you do? Did you talk?" Uh-huh. It was fine. I got 3 Hail Marys and 2 Our Fathers. Deena was in there forever. She must have been really bad...

Since I didn't commit any of my confessed sins, but lied in and about confession, I put the prayers up against the lies and call it a wash.

 

[Narnian_Princess]

Oh dear, my brothers and I pulled so many shenanigans... it's a wonder we're still alive after a lot of them!

I used to sneak into the pantry and taste the spices. I also took a liking to powdered Tang.

One time when I was home alone I decided that it would be fun to light up a Christmas light bulb. So I plugged in the can opener, but only halfway so parts of the prongs were still showing. Then I spread apart the contacts on the Christmas light bulb and touched one to each of the prongs on the can opener plug. There was a loud bang and my fingers tingled really bad. After I calmed down a bit from the surprise I went back and looked for the parts of the exploded light bulb; there was nothing anywhere. I think the bulb disintegrated.

My little brother used to call the operator from every pay phone he could get to. He would ask stupid questions like "Where does Darth Maul live?" in a high-pitched kid voice, and he'd always get told that he should ask a parent before using the phone. We never did tell our parents, but we nearly got caught one time when he decided to call 911 from a local grocery store. We were at the checkout and he and I went out to the pay phone and he said he was going to call 911. I told him not to, but he did and when he was asked where he was he said "HERE!". Of course, the call was traced and the grocery store got a call and were asked if anyone called 911 from that location. An employee was walking around asking if anyone had called 911, and of course my brother and I said no. We left just a few minutes before the police got there, and I know they had security cameras pointed at the phone. I'm just amazed that we were not sought out and arrested!

We also used to do "daredevil" stunts when our parents weren't home. These included jumping from the first floor balcony into couch pillows, climbing on top of the metal shed and sliding down, and others, but my favorite was the "roller coasters". Our basement was full of stacks and stacks of boxes, plus plastic pantries, a standup freezer, bookshelves, and lots of other tall things. We would tie wire shelf pieces together with twist-ties and set them up on various levels of boxes, starting on top of the freezer and sloping down. Then we'd get in a laundry basket, have a sibling give us a shove, and go on down the "track". Some of our coasters got pretty elaborate, too! One time we just did a straight drop by placing "track" down the very steep basement stairs. I think the ending was the worst. I'm still amazed that none of us got hurt!

 

[teacups]

Well, my sister's story is much better than anything I could have ever done... She and her girlfriends had an arch enemy (another girl in the neighborhood). Once at school, they took her lunch pail into the bathroom, removed the bologna, swished it in the toilet, and replaced it. They watched her eat her lunch that day from the elite table.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Oh no, teacups. That is wicked.

 

[abaldacci]

When I was about 5, I got a black velvety purse with hundreds of colorful beads sewn on it. I pretended the little beads were vitamins and ate a few off the purse every day, until it was just a naked purse with no beads. Beads, yum.

I also used to feed our fish boogers.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

My sister is 3 years older than me and always had better clothes. When i was in high school, i used to tkek her clothes to school in a bag, put it on in the bathroom and then ruturn them to her closet. She was a cheerleader and held down two jobs so she was never home right after school. Well on this particular day she did come home and was looking for the shirt I had worn. I had it in my bag, but i told her that i had no idea where it was. It's 20 years later and i still have that shirt. I have moved twice since this happened and each time i have taken it with me. It is stuffed behind my other clothes in my closet. I am not sure why i have never gotten rid of it. I never wear it either.

 

[teacups]

My sister is 3 years older than me and always had better clothes. When i was in high school, i used to tkek her clothes to school in a bag, put it on in the bathroom and then ruturn them to her closet. She was a cheerleader and held down two jobs so she was never home right after school. Well on this particular day she did come home and was looking for the shirt I had worn. I had it in my bag, but i told her that i had no idea where it was. It's 20 years later and i still have that shirt. I have moved twice since this happened and each time i have taken it with me. It is stuffed behind my other clothes in my closet. I am not sure why i have never gotten rid of it. I never wear it either.

OH NO! You are probably past that point where you could return it and appologise now!!!! Better just leave it to her in your will.

 

[druidia]

These are cracking me up!

I used to sneak into the pantry and taste the spices.

One of my earliest indiscretions was climbing up on the counters and getting into the spice rack in search of the elusive cookie decorations. You know, the green and red sugars and tiny multi-colored beads? Totally busted standing on the counter trying to hide those behind my back when my mom walked in from work.

I got into the black pepper inadvertently once. My mom said I wouldn't touch anything with a black speck in it for YEARS after that.

When I was in 12th grade, my BF and I skipped school A LOT and stayed home to...well, you know. I was a dean's aide at school so I was able to excuse my own absences without getting caught. My BF went to another school, so I would also forge his absence notes.

However, come report card time, your report still showed # of absences, excused or not. Some friends and I devised a method of forging our report cards by cutting out numbers from a copy and pasting them in place, ala ransom note style. Then we would have the forged copy printed on that semester's report card color paper.

I totally didn't get cocky about my skipping until GRADUATION DAY, while I sat there thinking "I really got away with it!"


Mild indiscretions, compared to you spit- and sibling- danglers out there!

 

[swea_pea1]

We had McMass.

Tell the folks you're going to mass, stop off and pick up a bulletin, then go to McDonald's for breakfast. Go home and deliver the bulletin to mom as proof you went to church. Repeat weekly.

Worked every time.

 

[Karel]

My sister and I used to sneak downstairs at 2 AM to watch The Rookies, Mod Squad and SWAT on the kitchen tv.

OH the shame! Don't tell my mom.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Once, my sister and I BEGGED my grandmother to boil a dozen eggs so we could dye them after we found some leftover Easter Egg dye in the cabinet. After we got t hrough about half the eggs, we got bored with 'normal' colors and started dipping them in just about every color we had. A few of them turned out a weird mottled brown or blackish.

Even though they were ugly as sin, my grandmother INSISTED I go hide them for my sister to find, since she went to all the trouble of boiling them for us.

Because of the odd color, a few of those eggs were never found. They were hidden too well I guess and blended in with the dead grass/bushes/etc.

TOV

 

[MushyMushy]

However, come report card time, your report still showed # of absences, excused or not. Some friends and I devised a method of forging our report cards by cutting out numbers from a copy and pasting them in place, ala ransom note style. Then we would have the forged copy printed on that semester's report card color paper.

That reminds me of something my younger sister did as a senior that I ended up ratting her out for. She graduated just fine, but about a month later I was talking to a classmate of hers who told me that my sister was in her summer school class. I couldn't figure out how she could graduate, but the friend told me that she was able to walk through graduation as long as she had plans to attend summer school. Later, I was upset and went to my parents and said, "Why didn't anybody tell me that XXX had to go to summer school? Why am I the last to know?"

<-------- this was them, and this was the first they were hearing about it. Turned out, my sister had made payment arrangements with the school to pay for summer school. She had taken her final report card and used whiteout, a typewriter and a copy machine. It was awful! My parents were so dumb (always were & it usually benefited me).

 

[princesspumpkin]

Alas, I was the baby of the family, so I was the object of all of the bad stuff. One in particular that my sister and I talk about often is when she would bend my finger all of the way backwards and tell me that pain was only in my mind Nope sis, pain is in my finger! Sis was taking a psychology class in high school at the time I was stupid enough to allow her to do it.

 

[arminnie]

Early in my senior year I took an excuse that my mother had written for me to leave early to go to a 2pm dental appt. The woman in charge was a total jerk (really a non-Dis appropriate word here) and told me that I couldn't leave the school until 2pm.

I left anyway and discovered that my last three classes of the day did not take attendance. So I never had to stay around after lunch if I didn't want to.

I was always terrible about going to class. My senior year in college I went up to my math professor to ask for a job recommendation. It was the end of the year. His response 'I'd be happy to, but I have no idea who you are." I had only attended class when there was going to be a test.

He did give me the rec and I got the job. I was the top student graduating in my major, but the math department decided not to give an award that year to the top student just so I wouldn't get it.

 

[C.Ann]

My grandma and grandpa lived next door to us on a farm.. Among the animals they had were chickens.. I was very little - maybe 3 or so - and I wandered over there to the chicken coop one day and found all these baby chicks.. Well - for some reason, I thought they were baby ducks so I took them outside to where this big tub of water was and started dropping them in - one by one.. They would sink to the bottom and I would think, "Hmm..that one can't swim - guess I'll try this one.." I continued on until I had killed every single baby chicken.. Of course when it finally dawned on me that I was in VERY big trouble, I went running home and hid under my bed.. Coincidentally, my cousin (same age) was visiting my grandparents at the same time and lo and behold they blamed it on her because she tended to be a bit of a handful..

I never told my grandparents that I was the "culprit" - but I can tell you that for years and years, whenever I would go over to their farm I swore I saw the devil - horns and all - peeking out at me from behind the woodpile and I would go running back home as fast as my little legs would carry me - LOL..

---------------------------

Oh - and then there was the time I got my hands on a whole bunch of matches and set the grass on fire - right up against the house!!.. Thank God my Dad was home and discovered it before the house caught on fire.. Can you say "good old-fashioned spanking" and "grounded for a month"??

 

[Stacerita]

If my brother was crying in the hall way, it was usually because I hit him.

And I would make fun of him untill he cried when he would have to wear his "husky" pants.

 

[Ava31]

When I was a junior in high school, my friend's parents were out of town, so we got my "of age" brother to buy us some cheap booze at the liquor store. I had the box of beverages in my trunk, so I decided to back into her driveway (to be less conspicuous). Being a fairly new driver, backing up wasn't exactly my forte and I wound up plowing down her mailbox. Not wanting to be held libel for that one, I put it in "drive" and took off to my house. I got home and called her and told her that I was going to be leaving in about 5 minutes and she was all in a tizzy because someone had just ran over her mailbox!

 

[pfishgirl]

At meals I would load all my string beans in my mouth at once and then go to the bathroom and spit then in the toilet..

I stored Junk food in my room and when we were eatting something Yuky for dinner Id pretend I wasnt that hungry and when they said no dessert cause I didnt finish my plate I didnt care cause Id go to my room and Pig Out on goodies...

My brother and I would get to the mailbox before our parents and hide each others school papers under the pillow so our parents wouldnt see them and ground us..

When my room was on the 1st floor and my parents were upstairs.. Id have people sneak in or Id sneak out..

Oh and who Cut a whole in the shower curtain because it was ugly and wanted Mom to buy a new one?? I dunno.. *hides scissors behind her back**


What?? Who Me?? Naaaa