Childhood abuse exposed

[september63]

I am a long time member, lover of all things Disney. I am asking this under a different name for obvious reasons. I want/need to share and ask advice about family things that happened long ago but now a family member wants to make amends through a letter.

I know I should go and pay a therapist to help me but I have been there and done that. I just want to share what was said to me and get general feedback. Its nothing salacious or criminal, just guilt talking.

Is there an on line site you could recommend? Could I just post two sentences out of the letter here, would it make me feel better to tell my community "I won't tell you what happened exactly, but this is what she's sorry for."

It's really 6 sentences to get the picture.

 

[quasar4legs]

I am so sorry for all that you have endured

I don't know of any online forums but maybe it is worth seeing a therapist again if you think it might help you resolve your feelings toward this family member now that she has decided to contact you.
Remember to take care of you when you are deciding what to do.

With regards to posting details from you letter perhaps it is worth sending a quick pm to one of the moderators if you are unsure.

Please know that I am thinking of you and sending you thoughts of healing.

Quasar

 

[Dizneyd]

I too am posting under an anonymos name Only because I have children on this site and there are some things ones children do not need to know about the deceased.

I have no real advice for you. I honestly believe you have to do what is best for YOU to heal. My best wishes in that regard for you.

It may help to know that in many 12 step programs (could that be what triggered this amends?), the members are suggested to eventually "clean their side of the street", meaning make amends to people they have hurt. They should not EXPECT to be forgiven. When an amends was made to me, it was as an explanation, not as an excuse. FOR ME, I found I had compassion for this person once I learned he himself had been a victim when we were young. Once I had compassion for him, I found I could let go. That is when my healing began. I had gone thru therapist after therapist with time lapses in between. With no real healing happening. Years after this amends had taken place my family member died unexpectantly. I found my grief was sincere. He and I had a true love/hate relationship for many years. I was very grateful to call him a friend an confident when he died.
Believe me I realize how fortunate and rare my situation is/was.

I pray (please I hope that doesn't offend I mean it as a caring gesure), you find a way to truly, completely heal.

 

[MrRomance]

I think what you are expressing is the need to share. I don't know if sharing on the forum is allowed, I'm not a moderator but what you need is an ear.
I hope that whatever you have and are enduring will ease.

Perhaps you can find someone within this forum that you can share with via email or PM, if you are concerned about it being in the main forum?

I am happy to lend an ear if you feel that is what you need and I'm sure there are many people here that will put forth the same offer.

Best wishes to you.

 

[BareNecessities]

I am a long time member, lover of all things Disney. I am asking this under a different name for obvious reasons. I want/need to share and ask advice about family things that happened long ago but now a family member wants to make amends through a letter.

I know I should go and pay a therapist to help me but I have been there and done that. I just want to share what was said to me and get general feedback. Its nothing salacious or criminal, just guilt talking.

Is there an on line site you could recommend? Could I just post two sentences out of the letter here, would it make me feel better to tell my community "I won't tell you what happened exactly, but this is what she's sorry for."

It's really 6 sentences to get the picture.

It sounds as though you are really trying hard to deal with a very serious situation. I've always felt that it's good to deal with things, even though it took me a long time to deal with things I'd buried from my childhood. And some things I'd left too late.

If, by posting here, you feel it would help you to deal with things from a long time ago, and give you closure, perhaps even relieve any residual bitterness or pain (I'm guessing here), then I think you should give it a try.

I agree that a quick note to a moderator would be a good idea. Otherwise, it seems that there are a few people here that would gladly "listen" in a PM.

Prayers and thoughts being sent to help you get through this phase. You are courageous!