Child that does not want to participate in kid's program

[Rence]

We have a large family group going on the Magic in December.

One of my sisters and her husband travel a lot with her three daughters, ages 3, 5 & 8. They have been to resorts that have offered a kid's program and the kids have all participated and loved it. This sister isn't the least bit worried about her kids taking part.

Second sister has two daughters ages 5 & 8. Now the ages line up nicely with the cousins, but the sisters live far apart and the cousins only see each other once a year so they are not super close.

Second sister is going through a divorce and this of course has had an impact on her daughters. She wasn't really expecting any problems until she sat down to watch the special on DCL on the Travel Channel with her daughters.

After the show talked about adult only dining, adult only night clubs and the adult only beach, the oldest daughter turned and looked at her mother and said that it was too bad that mom wasn't going to get to go to any of those places. Mom asked what she met and daughter responded that mom was going to be with her daughters the whole time. Mom talked about the kids programs and the daughter just announced that she will not be going there. The younger daughter than chimed in with a me too, so she is more following older sister's lead.

She will be spending 4 days at WDW with her cousins prior to sailing so we are hoping that bonding with the cousins will help ease the transition. We also expect that once she gets on the boat and sees everything that she will join right in.

Have any of you had a child that more or less told you up front that they were not going to participate? Any suggestions as to how to handle this?

I think my sister would love to spend a lot of time with her daughters on the trip, but she would also enjoy spending some time with the other adults in the group at some of the adult only venues.

 

[ohiominnie]

You may be surprised. Once the kids SEE the kids areas and/or look at the Navigators to see the activities they may want to do it.

Otherwise, just let them do what they want. They are going through a very stressful time right now. They are "giving up" dad (or at least daily, close contact with him) and they may not want to be "forced" to "give up mom" too.

If it's so important for their mom to get alone time in an adult setting then I think the other members of your 'large family group' need to make sure that she gets some time alone. Maybe you can watch her kids at the pool while she gets a spa treatment (something she probably desperately needs b/c SHE is also under a lot of stress)

Our first cruise the kids swore they wouldn't see us. We were excited that we'd get some couple time. When it came down to it, ds 6 didn't want to spend all day/all night at the kids club. He'd check in for an activity that he liked, then check out. We still had a BLAST with him. Dd (then almost 9) checked in in the morning and checked out at midnight or 1:00 am. Of course we have VERY few pictures of her being on that cruise!

All depends on the kids, all depends on the situations. Just go with the flow. Help out mom who's stressed herself and HAVE FUN!!!

HTH

 

[vgaskin]

My girls, then 4 & 5 are very timid and have not gone to day care, etc. I stayed home with them the first few years or atleast the ones the older one remembers. They wanted to do the princess stuff in the clubs and we registered them. We went up a few times but they would never stay. The little one would but when her sister wouldn't, she changed her mind. We didn't have Palo or anything in mind so it wasn't a big deal to us. This time, we hope they will go occassionally to the clubs but are ok if they won't. We do want to do Palo brunch, but if it comes down to it, my husband and I and then my mom and step dad can go seperate times. We are hoping to be able to go just the 4 of us and either have the kids go to the clubs or have them stay in the room and order room service with the 2 teenagers. She can register the kids and take them up and see if they will stay. They can always have her paged when they are ready. I would just try it as you go and hope they will give her a break. We prefer to spend most of our time together so it isn't a big deal to us but if not, maybe a family member can stay with them for an hour or so. Hope this helps.

 

[eek40]

One piece of advise I have is to make sure the children go the first nite to the clubs, thats when friendships begin, and I think that is the most important time to ease them into the idea.

Aimee

 

[outahere]

I would show them the kid's Navigator on www.castawayclub.com so they can get an idea of what will be going on while they are on the ship. Hopefully they will see activities they are interested in and you can start planning on those and raise their excitement level.


Be sure to look at the Navigator for the itinerary you will be on. Some of the activities are different, depending on your itinerary.

 

[erikthewise]

Take them the first night "just to take a look". Don't leave them by themselves; stay there with them while they check things out. (And register them when they're not looking.)

If they don't want to stay, and don't want to go back, then I suggest not forcing them to. But I'll bet they will want to go back at least some of the time.

 

[CamColt]

When we went on our first cruise my DS was 8 months old and I wouldnt put him in daycare. My oldest was 3 1/2 and refused to go to the club. Even when we pointed out they were making maracas, something he had said he wanted(???), he still wouldnt go. Seeing as this was a family vacation, I didnt force the issue and he never went. We still had a great time. However, seeing how we missed out on all the adult only stuff when my 30th birthday rolled around, DH gave me/us(LOL) a cruise without the kids. We got to go back and do all the stuff we missed out on and it was wonderful!

 

[AnnMorin]

He too was SHOCKED when he saw the commercial about the little girl eating her dinner alone etc. HE was NOT going to be "dumped off" so that dad and I could have a good time without him.....Well what we did was explain that we are going to have some adult time each evening, we let him select from the navigators which events he was interested in and told him we loved him, he was safe and we would be back. Many times he did not want to leave when we arrived to pick him up. Three cruises later he still would prefer to be with us but is fine with going to the lab.

 

[takemeaway]

I just got back from a cruise with a 7 year old that never really warmed-up to the clubs. I did tell him one night that he had to be brave and let mom and dad have a few hours to themselves at Palo. He agreed. We went to Palo from 7:00 pm until 8:30. As soon as dinner was over we went and picked him up. He was happy to see us.

MY younger son(4 1/2) had no problem with the club. He loved every minute of it.

I think you have to remember that each child is different and you may not get as much time away from the children as you may want. Also remember that in 10 years the kids probably won't want to be seen with their parents. Take it easy and go with the flow! Everyone will have a better time that way!

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughter just turned 4 (today actually) and she has already said she does not want to be left alone in the club, she wants to visit there with me but not to be left there. I really don't mind, my friend and her daughter are going with us so she will watch Kasey while I go for a massage...I'm not going to force her to go there, if she decides she wants to fine...if not that s fine too....

 

[tbuot]

We went on the Thanksgiving Magic cruise last year and my DS 5 would not go to the clubs. We went the first day and registered him and stayed for about 45 min. but he didn't want to stay. We would go at family times and liked it with us but never would go.

We did have a wonderful time together. We eventually stopped asking if he wanted to go. My youngest DS2 got the "virus" and we never used Flounders. It was a shame that my oldest son met a nice little boy when we all were being held at the airport until the ship was done being sanitized. I think he would have gone had that entire family not gotten ill. We did see them on the last day at CC and he really had fun with his new friend.

This year I think with his brother ging even though he will be in a different group he will give it a try. I agree that getting them to try it the first night really would help. I also told both of them that they didn't have to stay long periods of time that we wanted to do lots of things with them.

Have a great time...I bet when the girls get some time together at WDW they will want to go together.

 

[Rence]

Well I am the bad Uncle. I was talking to my sisters about this and found out that I was wrong about the ages. The older two nieces are only 7, not 8.

This means that the four older nieces will all be in the 5 to 7 group so all four will be together. This also means that the reluctant niece will be with her younger sister.

She is much more likely to go to the club with her sister and her two cousins.

This does leave the three year old on her own, but she is the most independent and fearless of the five of them. Her mother is not worried about her in the least.

I passed on all your wonderful suggestions to my sisters. We feel that it won't be a big problem once we get them started. We figure the problem will be getting them to leave the club for family time.

 

[DisneyGator01]

I would reccomment going the first night, and also tell your sister that she can always stay with her daughter at any time in the club or lab. Maybe at first she would feel more comfortable having a family member in the clubs with her, and once she makes friends.. she will warm up to being there by herself. If she still doesn't want to be left alone, I would still reccommend having her do some of the kids activities with her mom there. She will enjoy them I am sure--especially the Tea with Wendy.

 

[abitjaded]

Are your cabins connecting or close? Our DS5 was also not enamored of the clubs. But there was so much going on during the day, we were happy to stay together. At night you might trade off. One parent group parties while another parent group hangs with the kids. Even DS5 was willing to go to the clubs when we went to Palo. Some evenings he was so pooped that he missed the shows AND the clubs and "hung" i.e. slept, with grandma in her cabin. Some of the adults in your group may be willing to do the same. You can even go up to the buffet and get "carry out" service if room service does not suit. Pick what the kids and the adults want and a server will deliver it to the cabin. Our kids had a great time with Grandma one night doing just that. Some of the adults may welcome an "off night" too. There are lots of Disney movies on the TV.

Carla

 

[JOC]

Last December we registered our 3.5 year old for the club. He was interested in what they were dong, but he never wanted to stay in the club unless one of us was with him. He goes to daycare everyday, but there he knows the other children and it's not so overwhelming for him. Since he's a year older now we're hoping he will stay by himself in the club on our cruise next month but if he doesn't that's okay; we'll have a great time either way!

 

[Rence]

The cabins for my two sisters and my parents are all very close together.

My cabin is on a different deck, on the other side of the ship. At first the rest of the family thought our travel agent had made a mistake, until I confessed that I had called her and requested that.

My sisters are the type that would think it funny to send the nieces to pound on my door at 5am. But I know that they won't send them that far on my own. This way I get to see them, but also gives Uncle Larry a chance to escape.

 

[musicgirl]

My nephew-7 went the first night after 2nd seating and they only had on a movie and he never gave it a second chance. Make sure when they go the first time, it is at an active time.
I would have been nice for him to go for awhile, because he was a bit on the "whiney" (sp) side. Normal personality, unfortunately.

I would be willing to bet that if all the other kids were going, any reluctant ones will want to.

AnnMorin, I like how you handled your situation. I always believe if you prepare children ahead of time and give them some options, things will go alot more smoothly.

 

[Ursula's Mom]

On our first cruise, my DD age 5 did not want to stay at the club alone. But that trip was just me, my husband and DD. However, on our second cruise in August, 2003, the extended family went on the 4 day land/3 day sea vacation and while at sea, my DD age 6 went to the club with her cousin, also age 6. The two of them did not want to leave when we came to pick them up. And they are excited to be going again to the club in Aug 2004 (we all rebooked for the 7 day Western while on board). So hopefully, on your cruise, the reluctant children will want to go because the other children are going. I know my daughter did not want to miss out on what her cousin was doing! Have a great trip!