Child ruins every picture!

[FINFAN]

When my oldest son was in Junior High we took a family vacation to Phoenix. He spent the entire trip (85degrees out) moping around, wrapped in this black hoodie sweatshirt with the hood pulled up and his eyes hidden by black sunglasses. In other words, levels of pained angst that only a teen boy in the midst of hormonal changes can achieve. The pictures now are priceless, especially when I want to tease him. Oh look and here we all are at Cubs Spring Training getting autographs. Black Hoodie, mopey teen. Here we are hiking in the hot, hot desert. Why yes you are wrapped up in a Black hoodie, I remember being a little concerned that you might sweat out all your body fluid.

At the time I was ready to kill him but now I'm so glad to have photographic evidence in case he ever has a moody teen himself to parent and calls me for sympathy. I considered putting him up for adoption but I was pretty sure nobody would take him, so killing him seemed reasonable.

lol~ Too funny Rita! I used to tell my kids (lovingly ) that I could dial 1-800-adoptme (and it is the correct amount of #'s to make a call, lol) at any time.

 

[megster1123]

I think by age 12 she should be able to understand the need to control her impulses long enough for a quick photo, especially if someone specifically asked her to stop.

It might be her vacation too, but she probably didn't pay for it, and I bet she had lots of other chances to be silly and enjoy herself.

Yea, I get that...but I think it's kind of harsh to say that a kid "ruined" the photo by making a silly face. Now, if she was scowling and flipping the bird...that's a different story. Personally I like the photos that are real - silly faces and all.

 

[Micca]

This is timely for me. We just got back from taking our DGDs (age 3 & 4) on their first WDW trip. We too had the photopass so there were many photo opps. DW had one goal for this trip: She wanted a pic with all of us on Main Street with the castle in the background. A modest request, one would think. We hit MK 3 or 4 different occasions, and tried the Main St. photo upon entering and exiting the park. Every time, one of the DGDs had a crying meltdown. So we have some good pics of us with one DGD on Main St with the castle in the background. We'll be returning, so there will be plenty of opportunities in the future, but it would have been nice to have pics from the first trip so we could chronicle the girls "growing up" at WDW.

 

[megster1123]

This is timely for me. We just got back from taking our DGDs (age 3 & 4) on their first WDW trip. We too had the photopass so there were many photo opps. DW had one goal for this trip: She wanted a pic with all of us on Main Street with the castle in the background. A modest request, one would think. We hit MK 3 or 4 different occasions, and tried the Main St. photo upon entering and exiting the park. Every time, one of the DGDs had a crying meltdown. So we have some good pics of us with one DGD on Main St with the castle in the background. We'll be returning, so there will be plenty of opportunities in the future, but it would have been nice to have pics from the first trip so we could chronicle the girls "growing up" at WDW.

But I see the meltdown pics are part of growing up. Sure, it's not a perfect smiling photo, but it was your real life at that time. Will you remember the perfect smiling photo? No, you'll remember the meltdowns just like you told us here.

 

[FINFAN]

I understand as I get older, how fleeting time and opportunities makes situations like this frustrating. Perhaps OP is not sure of being able to make another trip like this or wanted some normal faced photos to have for a Christmas card etc. I just think the grand-daughter should have behaved if she was told that these photos are being purchased by others, and to take it down a notch. I agree over time, the situation will become a fond memory (hopefully) Age 12 is old enough to know it isn't always all about them. However, having DGD in the photos at all is better than not.

 

[JJZMgailey]

This reminds me of when my daughter was in 2nd grade - she did not get along well with her teacher for whatever reason. They REALLY rubbed each other the wrong way and in the class picture, my daughter crossed her eyes - I'm talking BIG TIME and she looked ridiculous! My husband and I about died laughing when the picture came home and we still laugh about it now - she's 14!

Anyway, I feel like this kind of thing makes for fabulous stories many years later. I know it can be frustrating when you first see the photo, but think about her fierce personality and how you'll tell her kids what a sassy-pants girl she was during that trip to Disney when she was 12!

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm wondering if she was forced to be in the pictures and didn't want to? My SIL always makes stupid faces in pictures (or sticks out her tongue or opens her mouth really wide as if she were laughing hard, but isn't??), but it's because she's uncomfortable.

 

[Magpie]

My grandmother just turned 100. Every time you point a camera at her, she scowls and tells you to get that away from her. She's completely blind, mostly deaf, and yet somehow she's got a sixth sense where cameras are concerned. Last trip, I tried to sneak one in and immediately, "YOU AIN'T TAKIN' MY PICTURE, NOW!?"

My son seems to have inherited her feelings about cameras. His high school grad photo has him frowning all the way down to his chin - it's hilarious! I bought a bunch. I plan to blow them up and display them at every significant event in his life from this point forward.

And heck, I once "ruined" a first grade photo, by not telling my mum it was photo day and by insisting on wearing my favourite ducky pyjamas to school. There's even a booger hanging out of my nose!

Whether the kid is being goofy or just scowling, it's who she is at this moment in her life. "Perfect" photos, in my opinion, often lack the character and personality of the subject.

 

[L&Lfan]

Exactly, I find many (not all) people who are overweight or think they're unattractive avoid having their picture taken or they pose in a way that makes them less uncomfortable. I always try to respect another's wishes to not have his/her picture taken. I hate to see others being forced into photos.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I would have to know what the OP means by 'mugging'...

I also am thinking that this was a family vacation, NOT somebodies wedding/graduation/etc.
I would not have similar expectations for two very different situations.
I am thinking that this might be a factor for the OP.
Unrealistic expectations will always end with disappointment.

Having said that, I can see both sides!!!
The kid's behavior would have to be pretty darned bad (not just some 'mugging') for me to think that the photos were just ruined.
I am also one of those who puts a lot of value in these kinds of photos.
I have a husband and a son who have not...
Not until more recently, when there is some opportunity to bring out my great photo-books!!!

Asking, for example, for that one pick on main street would be like pulling teeth.
My son is MUCH MUCH MUCH better now!!!!! (so, have some hope, OP!!!) He actively participated in a quick photoshoot with the resort photographer on our last trip to Mexico. Wanted to do one of the 'jump on the beach' like one is jumping into a pool, shot.

Also, my husband is one of those guys who just never focused on how to smile or pose... (it doesn't come off naturally for everyone!!!) So, in some photos his half-smile comes off like Clint Eastwood... I always say... "There's another 'make my day' picture!!!" Hahahaha!!!!

 

[JoeA]

I feel your pain! We have a 60-year-old family member who does the same thing! At any special event (especially weddings and graduations) he thinks it's hilarious to make funny faces, make bunny ears, etc. Others have tried explaining to him that his antics take the focus off the happy couple or the graduate, but it hasn't changed his behavior.

60? He's just going through a phase. I'm sure he'll grow out of it someday.

 

[Pooh2]

We recently took a big family vacation to the World. We had the Memory Maker package and so took a number of group photos. Our 12 year old grandaughter ruined every single one by mugging for the camera. Nothing anyone said would stop her. Parents of 12 year old daughters - what do you think? I didn't make a big issue of this at the time, but we just got the pictures back and it's really irritating to realize we don't have one decent picture.

This is a message board for those of us who compulsively plan out every detail of our trip because we want it to be PERFECT!
So I get your frustration.

Use the goofy photos in your book/album and you will all get a chuckle down the road. Hopefully, your granddaughter will have fond memories of sharing a trip to disney with her grandmother.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Almost every kid I know who has gone through a phase of not wanting photos taken, or always being silly in them, or scowling in them--has done so somewhere between age 12 and 18.

I think more often than not, the kid is self conscious and uncomfortable with how they look at that point in their lives and this is a defense mechanism of sorts--if you are trying to look annoyed/funny/odd then it is GOOD when you do look that way on the end result. But, if you are trying to look "nice" and feel that you do not look that way when you see the end result, it just reinforces the idea that you may be grappling with that you look awkward or ugly, etc (not that they do -- or maybe they ARE in an awkward stage; I look back at old photos and absolutely DID look awkward around age 13, but either way, what matters is that often kids that age think this is the case).

It's not so much about "being old enough to know better" as it is about being the right age to worry about their looks and need to avoid seeing a photo of themselves that will cause their self esteem to plummet.

A couple of posters hit on that a little bit on this page, but I wanted to spell it out a bit more since so many do not seem to be seeing that as a possible source for the issue and I have seen just that for decades from many (non entitled, not precious) kids

 

[jevs]

This is a message board for those of us who compulsively plan out every detail of our trip because we want it to be PERFECT!

I tend to just wing it. Still perfect.

 

[scrapquitler]

We recently took a big family vacation to the World. We had the Memory Maker package and so took a number of group photos. Our 12 year old grandaughter ruined every single one by mugging for the camera. Nothing anyone said would stop her. Parents of 12 year old daughters - what do you think? I didn't make a big issue of this at the time, but we just got the pictures back and it's really irritating to realize we don't have one decent picture.

Are we more interested in capturing the moments and memories of this trip, along with each individuals personality, or are we more interested in a picture perfect looking family to hang on the wall?

Most kids that age make faces at the camera and act silly. Mine did at that age. Her personality will shine thru for years to come, and some day you will laugh about it. And if not, you can blackmail pictures for later.

 

[luvsJack]

When she is 18 and "too old" to go on family trips, I promise, you will begin to treasure those pictures.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Like the OP, I would have been upset if every single picture was like that.

No, I wouldn't look back and laugh at them. No I wouldn't enjoy them all the more in future. In fact, in the future it would remind me how the child wouldn't listen to her parents even for one stinking picture.

Of course, after a few pictures, I would have asked her not to join us in the picture. She would have received another chance to pose without - her tongue out-eyes crossed-bunny ears-whatever she was doing. But if she was still doing it, I would again ask her not to join us.

Sorry, if I was paying all that money, I would like a couple "grandma shots." Where everyone is posing nicely.

 

[luvsJack]

Like the OP, I would have been upset if every single picture was like that.

No, I wouldn't look back and laugh at them. No I wouldn't enjoy them all the more in future. In fact, in the future it would remind me how the child wouldn't listen to her parents even for one stinking picture.

Of course, after a few pictures, I would have asked her not to join us in the picture. She would have received another chance to pose without - her tongue out-eyes crossed-bunny ears-whatever she was doing. But if she was still doing it, I would again ask her not to join us.

Sorry, if I was paying all that money, I would like a couple "grandma shots." Where everyone is posing nicely.

Everyone has to do what they feel is right, but I would find it very sad to see one child to the side while everyone else is in the picture. I don't know but it seems for some kids it would make them very resentful. Sometimes we really should let people (including kids) just "be what they be" Personally when I take my family I "pay all that money" to remember the wonderful time we had together, not to get some perfect shots. Perfection can be photo shopped. Memories cannot.


Maybe someone could have taken her to the side to make an agreement of one serious shot and one silly shot of certain pictures. Maybe everyone could have started being silly with her.

 

[Clifton Tesh]

I'm 33 years old and can't stand having my picture taken.

My wife insist on taken more pictures than Kodak makes film for.

I try to be "proper" in the first picture, if there's a second picture I'm not happy, by the third picture I'm either having to make a face or you're getting a picture where I look like I'm ready to kill someone.

You want a real picture, one that captures me, let me be goofy, it's who I am.

The posed for pictures with generic smiles are the ones I consider to be ruined.

 

[gwynne]

Like the OP, I would have been upset if every single picture was like that.

No, I wouldn't look back and laugh at them. No I wouldn't enjoy them all the more in future. In fact, in the future it would remind me how the child wouldn't listen to her parents even for one stinking picture.

Of course, after a few pictures, I would have asked her not to join us in the picture. She would have received another chance to pose without - her tongue out-eyes crossed-bunny ears-whatever she was doing. But if she was still doing it, I would again ask her not to join us.

Sorry, if I was paying all that money, I would like a couple "grandma shots." Where everyone is posing nicely.

I think it's perfectly OK to have a couple of silly shots, and then a couple of grandma shots. Certainly 12 is old enough to manage a basic request for about a minute. Most 12 year olds participate in one or more activities that require much more accommodation in the family schedule than a minute. Give a little, get a little.