Child picking up on things - like Grandma is nosey?

[Minnie]

Hmmm sounds like your DD rather than picking up things is repeating what she hears....

 

[Disney Doll]

Does she have to go for a week? Maybe she can go for 4 days?

I like the idea of sending her with a project...pictures, life story, whatever.

 

[WDSearcher]

That's a great suggestion. Maybe she can talk to my Dad about family history. His family is very interesting. I've never gotten much out of my mom and what I have has been very disturbing. It might explain why she seeks out conflict.

I am planning to send her but I told her I would call twice a day to check in and if she wanted to come home she needed to let me know. I know my mom and she will act hurt and try to make her feel bad for leaving but I'lll handle Grandma's guilt.

Thanks for letting me vent! Dis is much cheaper than therapy!

Calling twice a day? Isn't that a bit much? I mean ... she's eleven. She could be miserable in the morning but perfectly fine by the afternoon if she doesn't have an easy out. Send her and tell her you'll call her half-way through to see how she's doing. Then just let her deal. She's not trapped in a single room with them all day with no other options -- she's got other relatives there, right? And if she's so miserable that she can't tolerate it, phones work both ways. Tell her she can call you if she absolutely HAS to come home. But let her figure some of it out for herself.

These are her grandparents and they will be her grandparents until they die. And she's plenty old enough to tolerate a few of grandma's gossips (or to stand up for herself and tell GM to change the subject). Does she really need someone to call twice a day to "save" her?

 

[Wishing on a star]

So dd is almost 11 ... I told her she was right,,, grandma is bad about asking personal questions and trying to stir up trouble.

She told me Grandma really gets on her nerves and asks her a lot of personal questions (ugh). ... Lately my mom has been telling me I'm not paying enough attention to my dd and that she feels abandoned by me (making me feel angry and defensive). ... So Grandma is trying to stir up trouble .

That is more than being a little nosey.
WAY more....

Sorry, but NOBODY would be spreading that kind toxicity and purposefully 'stirring up trouble' of this kind with my TEN year old child.
NOBODY.

Visits would be limited.

Ohhhh, I know what is coming here.
I've been on the DIS long enough!
Flame suit is on and fully engaged.

Family does not mean Carte Blanche.
I think it is more important as a parent to teach healthy personal boundaries...
Not that boundaries un-important, and are to be violated.