Child hurt her friend??

[scottishduffy]

Alrighty, I am not familiar with proper 'etiquette' in this situation and figured the DISboards may be of some assistance.

My daughter and I went to a playdate at a friends home today. Both children are a few months shy of 3 yrs old. The parents are good friends with my husband and I, we see each other frequently. The friendship of the kids is a by product of the fact the parents have been friends for years.

While at their home my daughter slammed shut the sliding glass door while we were setting up lunch. She ended up partially amputating the finger of her friend. We quickly wrapped the finger in gauze (it was about 75% off at the tip) and went to the ER. Thankfully the nail bed was not touched so they stitched it back on. Though they will see another doc soon to determine is surgery is needed since a small piece of bone broke off.

I feel awful. Awful for my friends child. He doesn't need this. Awful my kid was responsible. We all agree there was no ill intent. She wasn't aiming for him. She was just a 2 yr old shutting a door. The kids are really too young to fullu grasp what went on besides my DD saying "I gave buddy a ****oo".

I covered the copay at the ER. Have also purchased a small get well gift for the friend to be mailed out promptly. Is there anything else to do? Anything else expected of me? Never had this happen before.

 

[sookie]

I think you did all the right things. Now just waiting and following up with your friend and supporting them is what you can do. They know it is an accident too. These are small children.
Do doors have any sort of mechanism that can prevent this (a duller edge?). Poor little guy!
Keep us updated.

 

[RunningGirl]

Wow - that's not what I was expecting to read!

I think you're handling it very well. And I have to say, it sounds like your friend is being rational and reasonable, which is a very good thing. If surgery is needed, I'd definitely be helping out that day as well - sitting in the waiting room or bringing over a meal.

 

[low-key]

you should cut off the tip of your own finger to show true remorse







(sounds like you are doing all the right things)

 

[sookie]

you should cut off the tip of your own finger to show true remorse







(sounds like you are doing all the right things)

I forgot to mention that. Low-key, you are such a sage.

 

[minkydog]

Oh, my goodness! How awful! I know you feel terrible about this, but it's no one's fault, just a terrible accident.

 

[Jennasis]

Sounds like you've done all you can do. At this point it's kind of in the hands of the injured child's parents and what they do. It would not surprise me if they sue you/your homeowner's insurance, particularly if their child requires surgery. But they may also be fine with chalking it up as an accident and moving on.

 

[CF'er]

So far I think you have covered it. It was an accident and these things happen. I would play it by ear as for anything else going forward.

 

[low-key]

So far I think you have covered it. It was an accident and these things happen. I would play it by ear as for anything else going forward.

I thought you were going to bed before you finish your husband off

 

[CF'er]

He's asleep on the couch so in the safe zone. Unless I fall off my stool, I should be ok too. I hope.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Sounds like you've done all you can do. At this point it's kind of in the hands of the injured child's parents and what they do. It would not surprise me if they sue you/your homeowner's insurance, particularly if their child requires surgery. But they may also be fine with chalking it up as an accident and moving on.

Sounds like the accident happened at the friend's house, not OP's. So, I don't think that would happen.

 

[ronandannette]

Partially amputated?!? Oh Dear, I'm so sorry for all of you.

you should cut off the tip of your own finger to show true remorse


(sounds like you are doing all the right things)

Low-key is just kidding around, but I kind of get the sentiment. My DS was the "hurtee" in a similar situation and the other child's parents felt SO BAD I'm sure they would have preferred if their DD had been the one injured.

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

My (then 9 yr old) daughter lost the tip of her pinky finger in Sept. in a freak accident. I can only speak for DH and I, but we view it as just that; an accident. She did lose past the nail bed and the entire tip was severed, so it is permanent for her. There had been some concern that she made need surgery, but the ER closed the injury well and all healed very well. We were told by the plastic surgeon we followed up with that the first 18 months will show any complications (scar tissue, etc), but things look good for her. I don't know if it's different since they'll be looking for function as well. All of this to say, you've done what you can - offer to be there for them still, but don't feel so guilty. If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer, either here or in PM.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

I agree with the others--you've done all you can do. What an awful thing to have happened, but like others have said, accidents do happen. Covering the ER copay was very generous of you.

 

[Dizzy4DL]

Alrighty, I am not familiar with proper 'etiquette' in this situation and figured the DISboards may be of some assistance.

My daughter and I went to a playdate at a friends home today. Both children are a few months shy of 3 yrs old. The parents are good friends with my husband and I, we see each other frequently. The friendship of the kids is a by product of the fact the parents have been friends for years.

While at their home my daughter slammed shut the sliding glass door while we were setting up lunch. She ended up partially amputating the finger of her friend. We quickly wrapped the finger in gauze (it was about 75% off at the tip) and went to the ER. Thankfully the nail bed was not touched so they stitched it back on. Though they will see another doc soon to determine is surgery is needed since a small piece of bone broke off.

I feel awful. Awful for my friends child. He doesn't need this. Awful my kid was responsible. We all agree there was no ill intent. She wasn't aiming for him. She was just a 2 yr old shutting a door. The kids are really too young to fullu grasp what went on besides my DD saying "I gave buddy a ****oo".

I covered the copay at the ER. Have also purchased a small get well gift for the friend to be mailed out promptly. Is there anything else to do? Anything else expected of me? Never had this happen before.

I know how you are feeling right now, but it was an accident. Remember that. Your daughter was not responsible, she was in the wrong place, at the wrong time. My mother closed a car door on my finger years ago and broke it. She felt absolutely awful, but it was in no way her fault.

If this were happening in my life, I would call everyday to ask how things are going. If he needs more medical care, I would offer to sit with them at the hospital and bring dinner for that evening. And that is all. Nothing more, nothing less. Because even though you feel bad, this was an accident.

 

[MinnieLovesMickey12]

If the child does end up having to have surgery I would also be prepared to pay the co-insurance for that as well. Most insurance pay 80% of the bill leaving 20% for the parents to pay out of pocket up to their annual out of pocket max.

 

[Bren's Mom]

If the child does end up having to have surgery I would also be prepared to pay the co-insurance for that as well. Most insurance pay 80% of the bill leaving 20% for the parents to pay out of pocket up to their annual out of pocket max.

But I do not think the op is responsible for that. If she wants to offer, that is on her. But I doubt a court would ever require it.

 

[anniemae]

How awful! As others have said, accidents happen. You are doing all the right things. I would do as others have suggested and call, bring dinner if the little one does need surgery, offer to watch their other kids and/or pick them up at school if the child needs surgery (if they have other kids).

You are being a good friend and it sounds like they appreciate it.

 

[MissManda]

I'm so sorry that this happened. It was just an accident and it sounds like you are doing everything that you can to make it right.

If the child does need surgery of any kind on his finger, you might want to consider informing your homeowners insurance. Homeowners policies will cover medical expenses that resulted from accidents on your property. I think this would count. The other family may expect you to pay any additional bills.

I hope he makes a full recovery!

 

[NewRVLady]

OP I think you did all you can.


They are little....However, if I were that parent Id install some sort of stop -gap to prevent further instances of this when door is repeatedly opened

When we were young, we had a fender bender-this is pre-seatbelt days. My brother went flying , cut 2 inches above eye and got stitches. the lady at fault sent him the whole Toy store!!it seemed to us kids