child custody issue

[TEENEE]

I am the primary custodial parent to my two children. My ex has visitation two evenings during the week and weekends are divided. I would like to take the kids on a vacation the day after Christmas. We live in Fl, I would like to take them to Oh to see the snow etc. The problem I have run into is the ex doesn't want me to take the kids. Does he have any right to tell me I can't?

 

[bsnyder]

I have no idea about the "legal" rights involved, that would depend on your custody agreement.

It's too bad your ex is taking this stance.

I can understand if they were going to be gone on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, but it sounds like he gets to spend a lot of time with them on a regular basis, so why would he object to an opportunity for them to have a nice trip?

Does he say why he is objecting? Maybe he can have extra time with them after you get back, to make up for the visitation he will miss?

 

[Lucky4me]

That's a tough one. I would go over your divorce papers and see if there is anything about vacations in there, you may have missed it. According to our papers, we were allowed to take the kids for 7 days wherever we wanted once a year. This was never an issue for my ex and I. We both took them wherever and whenever we wanted. Good luck!

 

[TEENEE]

I have offered him extra days, Christmas eve, and Spring break. He's just being unreasonable.

 

[TXTIGGR]

Teenee ... sorry to hear that.

Agree with Lucky, run over your legal agreement again.
If you find nothing there, perhaps try talking with him again.
Stress the need for cooperation, in the event he would
want to do the same someday.

I'm in the same boat, and, in fact, am taking my DD for X-Mas to see my mom, sis, and bro.

Fortunately, we've been able to agree on very flexible and
cooperative visitation arrangements.

Good luck and keep talking.

 

[ebaynut31]

Let me just tell you from MY experiences. I live in Mass. I took my daughter on vacation to the beach in Maine for a week and DID NOT get the permission in writing from her loser father and when I got home, I was served with papers and was held in contempt of court. I must get it in writing that it is ok for me to take her on vacation.

To make a real long story short, he married and moved away about 4 years ago so I don't have to deal with it anymore.

Just me and my kid and enjoying our many, many trips to Disney! See below.

 

[Chrissi Pooh]

Bumping for the daytime Diser's!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sounds like a legal issue to me. I guess if you want that kind of freedom you will need to go back to court (???).
And if it is his day I am sure he has the legal right. If the roles were reversed I am sure you would want him uphold the legal agreement.
I might find a way to go "see the snow" on days that aren't his and avoid this headache.

 

[Piglet]

Being "in between" two divorced parents when I was a child, I think it is so selfish of parents who can't put aside tying to hurt each other instead of thinking and doing what the kids might enjoy!! It would be wonderful for your kids to see snow. Maybe your ex needs to quit thinking of him self and think of his kids and what they would like.

Melinda

 

[December99]

First of all - all states are different with their laws about custody, visitation, etc. You need to get in contact with your lawyer and see if there are any stipulations that he can throw at you. You can read the divorce decree all you want but you need to talk to the lawyer just to make sure. Always better to be safe than sorry.

Technically you have, as does he, every right to take your children on any trips as long as you let him know where you are going and how to be contacted in the event of an emergency. He does have that right too even though he might not have custody. I have sole custody of my daughter and fortunately I have been able to use that and once did get into it with my ex's lawyer. He did tell me I have the rights to do what I want to do with my daughter because I have the custody as long as I let my ex know, which I do. I would never leave and take her anywhere without him knowing anyway...it just isn't right and I make sure that I know where he takes her too!!!!!