Child adoption question

[kydisneyfans]

My wife and I are in the very early stages of adding to our family through adoption. We are interested in domestic only as I will not fly, especially out of the country. I have educated myself quite a bit regarding all that is involved, from birthmother expenses to legal fees and such, but have put my wife in charge of finding the agency and setting up interviews while I enjoy the ride.

We have done several agency interviews and see the trend where agencies want the fees (upwards of 10K) up front. When we tossed around the idea several years ago, it was more of a pay as you go situation, with the bulk due when the baby goes home.

Is this the new norm or are we looking at the wrong agencies? Can anyone recommend a good agency if you have had a good experience during your adoption journey?

Thanks in advance.

 

[ksjayhawks]

We adopted from South Korea and we did not have to travel overseas. Our baby was escorted on the plane from South Korea to Iowa where we picked him up at the airport.

Ours was "pay as you go". I would ask for references and talk with people who have adopted from these agencies.

 

[cc1013]

I would also love to hear more about this as my husband and I are considering adoption in the future.

 

[anniemae]

The up front fees are probably for services provided before the child is placed i.e. the homestudy, the background checks, the administrative fees etc.

 

[tchrrx]

Have you checked with your state dept. of child welfare? We adopted our DD and I think that we spent less than $100. We could have adopted a baby from another agency, but why do that when there are children who need a home? We were able to save the money and spend it on our child, rather than on fees and services.

 

[antmaril]

We adopted from South Korea and we did not have to travel overseas. Our baby was escorted on the plane from South Korea to Iowa where we picked him up at the airport.

Ours was "pay as you go". I would ask for references and talk with people who have adopted from these agencies.

This was the same for us. Our son, now 23 years old, was three months old when we adopted him from South Korea. We did not have to travel. He was escorted from South Korea to the airport in Detroit and we picked him up there.

Our adoption was also "pay as you go."

Good luck!

 

[kydisneyfans]

Thanks for all the responses so far.
At this point we are going to get the home study complete and then look at the current foster system. The home study seems to be step 1 of every adoption process anyway.

I personally find it disgusting that agencies want over 10K up front with a 90-95% match rate, and no refunds if no match is made. I don't spend 5K on a Disney vacation only to arrive in Florida to find out that you are part of the 5% that lost the game today. This seems like baby shopping to me.

International would be an option down the line.

 

[quentina]

My wife and I are in the very early stages of adding to our family through adoption. We are interested in domestic only as I will not fly, especially out of the country. I have educated myself quite a bit regarding all that is involved, from birthmother expenses to legal fees and such, but have put my wife in charge of finding the agency and setting up interviews while I enjoy the ride.

We have done several agency interviews and see the trend where agencies want the fees (upwards of 10K) up front. When we tossed around the idea several years ago, it was more of a pay as you go situation, with the bulk due when the baby goes home.

Is this the new norm or are we looking at the wrong agencies? Can anyone recommend a good agency if you have had a good experience during your adoption journey?

Thanks in advance.

I adopted 2 from foster care. There was zero cost and we got a sibling group. We did not care about the age and were ok with 6 and younger. The agency told us 4 and younger as our oldest was 9 at the time (they did not want to interupt the chain of command in home). Ended up with a 4 and a 2.5 year old. Amazing experience and super quick...applied in May, daughter arrived in October. Got a call in February asking to take other sibling...he came 3 days after call.

 

[EMom]

So you won't fly, eh? Well, neither would my SIL 24 years ago. Not even at gunpoint. No way, no how. But they wanted to adopt internationally, so they adopted from South Korea and the baby was escorted here. We all met him at the airport.

I have said before that if she'd had to fly to pick him up, he'd still be waiting in the Seoul airport. Thank heaven for those escorts. Anyway, 24 years later, he's out of college, married, and doing very well. Good luck to you!

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Thanks for all the responses so far.
At this point we are going to get the home study complete and then look at the current foster system. The home study seems to be step 1 of every adoption process anyway.

I personally find it disgusting that agencies want over 10K up front with a 90-95% match rate, and no refunds if no match is made. I don't spend 5K on a Disney vacation only to arrive in Florida to find out that you are part of the 5% that lost the game today. This seems like baby shopping to me.

International would be an option down the line.

Please make sure that the agency you pick accepts home studies from social workers other than their own.

If you want to look outside the country, Korea is closing & the waits for China are at 5+ years. Russia requires much caution....
Best of luck

 

[bumbershoot]

Please make sure that the agency you pick accepts home studies from social workers other than their own.

If you want to look outside the country, Korea is closing...

Korea is closing? WHY? Having Korean in laws, I have heard straight from them how much the attitude in the country HATE adoptions...they hate the babies being taken out of their country, but they won't adopt a baby b/c of serious stigmas associated...

That's just awful.

 

[locolala]

Please make sure that the agency you pick accepts home studies from social workers other than their own.

If you want to look outside the country, Korea is closing & the waits for China are at 5+ years. Russia requires much caution....
Best of luck

Agree on the Russia part. We know someone who adopted from Russia, they had to take 25k in cash.. for bribes. This is on top of all the other costs associated.

 

[DopeyDame]

About a year ago, we adopted our son from South Korea (seems to be a trend in this thread!) It was a wonderful process. We did travel, and I would highly recommend it, but escorting is an option for South Korea.
There is a rumor that South Korea will close in the next few years, but according to our agency, it's just an unfounded rumor. They are still accepting applications and haven't heard anything from their partner agency in Korea indicating that they should stop. (A few years ago, the Korean government stated a goal to stop international adoptions by 2012, but domestic adoptions haven't increased as hoped.)

As for fees, our agency and every agency we looked at, was pay as you go. I would be HIGHLY suspect of giving someone a significant amount of non-refundable money up front. Of course, upfront, you need to pay for the homestudy, fingerprinting, etc., but that's usually not anywhere near 10K. Make sure your agency is non-profit. As one of the previous posters said, be careful about doing your homestudy with one agency intending to change - some agencies will accept a homestudy from a different agency, but not all will.

Good luck. Adoption is a complicated and confusing process, but having your child home is amazing! If you have any specific questions or want to know more about our experience, I'd be happy to share.

 

[DopeyDame]

I just noticed your location is Georgetown. If that's Georgetown in DC, than check out the Barker Foundation - that's what we used and absolutely can't say enough good things about their Korea program. We started out in their domestic program, and ended up switching to Korea. The domestic program wasn't for us in the end, but it wasn't Barker's fault. If you want more info on Barker or the other agencies we looked at, just PM me.

 

[Embaby]

Have you considered embryo adoption?

We adopted an embryo two years ago and now have a beautiful little boy. It is much less expensive than traditional adoption. The basic requirement is that your wife is able to carry a pregnancy. It might be something you want to consider.

Feel free to ask me any questions!

 

[si-am]

Have you considered embryo adoption?

We adopted an embryo two years ago and now have a beautiful little boy. It is much less expensive than traditional adoption. The basic requirement is that your wife is able to carry a pregnancy. It might be something you want to consider.

Feel free to ask me any questions!

If you don't mind my asking, what is the difference between that and IVF?

 

[Embaby]

IVF uses your eggs and your husband's sperm and the cost is around $10,000 a cycle.

If a couple does IVF and their family is complete, but they have remaining embryos, they donate them to an infertile couple.

The doctor takes those embryos and transfers them to the adopting wife's uterus. In my case we adopted four, two survived the thaw and were transferred, and my son implanted.

I had to take a pill every morning and a shot every evening for 12 weeks. After that it was like a normal pregnancy.

The cost is considerably less, we paid about $5,000 which included all medicines, the fees for the transfer and the homestudy.

Hope this helps!

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Korea is closing? WHY? Having Korean in laws, I have heard straight from them how much the attitude in the country HATE adoptions...they hate the babies being taken out of their country, but they won't adopt a baby b/c of serious stigmas associated...

That's just awful.

This has been coming to fruition for some time. It goes back as far as when the Seoul Olympics were held. One of the news shows had a special on S. Korea and it was about S. Korea's greatest export is babies. The government made it clear at that point they would be adopting out less children every year.
Agencies are still accepting applications at this point but they will tell you that you may not make it before the country closes.


We also were a pay as you go.....NEVER lay out money at the start.
Countries such as Bulgaria, Lafvia, Ukraine, Russia all seek $$$$$ before getting started.

 

[arminnie]

My cousin adopted two children from foster care. Very little cost - but there was an emotional cost as it took about two years to terminate the parental rights on the first.

The girls are just adorable and doing so well. One was born while her mother was in jail and had been on major drugs. But she is smart as a whip and is just the sweetest most affectionate young girl (12 now).

I think the second adoption was easier. Both girls are biracial. It's been great to see how some of my relatives who were not the most enlightened individuals love, love, love these girls with all their hearts.