Child Abuse-Neglect Victims Guidance

[barkley]

excuse me-you directed a question to me in your most recent post, but i have no idea what "tmi" means. if you wish to clarify your question i will respond.

 

[VanBrujah]

If you know my first name you have done a lot of searching. Congratulations.

Or, you could have just read it in another post on the boards:


09-25-2005, 06:10 AM #10
marlasmom
DIS Cast Member
oin Date: Jul 2000
Location: Winter Haven, Florida
Posts: 1,740 Oh Wendy, I am so very sorry to hear this. I know exactly how you feel. I am confident though that this can be cured. Marla and I (Marla for her infections and pulmonary embolism and me for my pneumonia) were given a very expensive antibiotic that did the job very quickly. If there is anything at all that I can do, all you have to do is tell me.

Much love and prayers for you all.

Barbara

It seems to me that you could be doing something much more productive than chasing me around.

Reporting your actions to the proper authorities strikes me as extremely productive for those children.

I spent the morning visiting clients and I am exhausted. You obviously spent the morning trying to cause trouble. Which one of us do you think contributes more to society?

Try not to break your arm patting yourself on the back.


You know, the ones who make the most noise about all the good they are doing for children are usually the ones who are up to no good.

I think I'm going to need to buy some extra popcorn as this one unfolds...

 

[chrissyk]

Marlasmom, the scary thing is that anyone can call up the anonymous hotline and say anything, and the parent is automatically on the defensive. Before I forget, the unfounded report can be "expunged" from the record, but your daughter would need to get a lawyer and pay some sum of money to get that done. It would be worth it in case any other reports come in on her child (from the school, for instance). A "pattern" of unfounded reports is still considered a pattern, apparently. That is why it is so important to go after any malicious false reporters if you have the means to do so.

In the case of your grandson, the person called and remarked on his birthmark and another bruise. That was fairly easily refuted, as the birthmark had been there since birth and the pediatrician was supportive that there were no signs of abuse. However, any random person can pick a name out of a phonebook and anonymously make horrendous allegations about another person, and the falsely accused person is automatically put in the position of defending their right to parent their own child. As in that case in the NY Times, sometimes the children are actually removed on the basis of these false allegations, making the situation even more horrendous. Scary stuff.

The worst part is that while we have the means and the information with which to defend ourselves, many other people don't. This means that a lot of low-income people end up targeted by false allegations and are unable to defend themselves...hence my concerns about adopting from CPS. What looks like a terrible case on paper may actually be nothing more than false allegations mixed with a low income level. Things aren't always how them seem, and that worries me.

 

[Snoopymom]

Chrissyk,

I'm so sorry. I understand your position. Your situation sounds like an on going nightmare. I hope it is resolved soon.

I believe anonymous calls are allowed because most of them come from people living in the same areas with some of the same problems with drugs, prior convictions, etc. as the abusive parents and they're afraid that they themselves will be investigated if they give their names, so if it means keeping more children safe, then I'm all for it.

Good luck.

 

[nuke]

excuse me-you directed a question to me in your most recent post, but i have no idea what "tmi" means. if you wish to clarify your question i will respond.

TMI = Too Much Information. Just like what MM is sharing with 40,000 people on the internet.

 

[chrissyk]

Chrissyk,

I'm so sorry. I understand your position. Your situation sounds like an on going nightmare. I hope it is resolved soon.

I believe anonymous calls are allowed because most of them come from people living in the same areas with some of the same problems with drugs, prior convictions, etc. as the abusive parents and they're afraid that they themselves will be investigated if they give their names, so if it means keeping more children safe, then I'm all for it.

Good luck.

I don't think it's an ongoing nightmare, but it certainly could have been had this freak not forewarned us of her malicious intentions. It has been very frustrating to learn that parents are automatically on the defensive if an anonymous false call is received into one of these intake lines. There are plenty of people out there with nutty relatives, neighbors with a grudge, etc. Since there is a clear pattern of not prosecuting these people for making false calls, people like this use these hotlines as a way to harrass other people. It's beyond wrong, and it needs to be stopped.

While I do understand that people might be afraid of being investigated themselves if they give their info when making a report, there could be measures put in place to prevent this from happening. If anonymous calls were disallowed, social workers would be able to focus on helping the kids who truly need help rather than weeding through false reports made by angry neighbors, divorcing parents, crazy family members, etc. I honestly believe that allowing anonymous reporting does more harm than good. If a call truly has merit, then the reporter has nothing to fear by giving their info.

 

[marlasmom]

Chrissyk I totally understand what you are saying and it certainly can lead to abuses - as in my dd missing a day of work and a lot of aggravation to clear up the problem. OTOH some people call anonymously because of fear of retaliation. That's understandable too.

I am so sorry you are having these problems with your family member, but I don't think she would ever get anywhere. You don't have to have an attorney on retainer although you might like to do some research to find someone who is well versed in this sort of problem. Are you in Florida? PM me if I can be of any help.

 

[nuke]

Are you in Florida? PM me if I can be of any help.

Maybe Marlasmom will share your information with us as well.

 

[chrissyk]

Chrissyk I totally understand what you are saying and it certainly can lead to abuses - as in my dd missing a day of work and a lot of aggravation to clear up the problem. OTOH some people call anonymously because of fear of retaliation. That's understandable too.

I am so sorry you are having these problems with your family member, but I don't think she would ever get anywhere. You don't have to have an attorney on retainer although you might like to do some research to find someone who is well versed in this sort of problem. Are you in Florida? PM me if I can be of any help.

We have already found the attorney that we will be using should this creep ever make good on her threats once we do have kids. Apparently he's the best of the best when it comes to dealing with this issue. I'm not sure if we will put him on retainer or not, but I think that we probably will err on the side of caution and pay the retainer when we do have kids.

It's so unfortunate for anyone to be put in this position, but it happens every day to loads of innocent parents. At least we had the benefit of knowing her intentions beforehand.

 

[Leota]

Kudos to you Barkley for doing the right thing for these children. Their business should not be broadcast across the internet. Family Court is closed for a reason.

Gossiping about families in their most vulnerable moments for selfish reasons is appalling. A person in a Trusted position doing so is outright dangerous & illegal.

 

[Lessa of Pern]

I went back and reread everything MM posted on this thread.

MM posted very general statements, nothing that could be used to identify any of the children she represents, so you can all rest assured no confidentiality was viiolated.

you're right, family court proceedings are closed to the public. but what you don't realize is that when a family court makes a ruling, they often publish a decision. they hide the identity of the participants by referring to them by their initials, but the underlying facts are part of the court's dedcision and are published.

I don't think it's a good idea for her to share the details simply because people who've posted on this thread believe she's done something wrong. she hasn't, of course, but it's a better idea not to do something if people are going to accuse you of wrongdoing.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Lessa,
If the cases were over, I wouldn't have an issue. These are ongoing cases SUBJECT to confidentiality. It's best not to say anything, even if you think you can. You said that yourself. I am not saying these things to be mean, but I wouldn't want MM to cause harm to these cases. We know where she lives, you can easily figure out what circuit court it is in Florida. This is a Disney message board with a lot of posters from the Central Florida area. It's just not worth it. Again, she could have asked her question without giving case details.

 

[Lessa of Pern]

you're right, Miss Jasmine, it's the better course of action not to discuss it. but, prudence aside, there are people here jumping down MM's throat and accusing her of illegality and/or breach of her duty as a guardian ad litem. that's a major over reaction, wouldn't you agree?

 

[marlasmom]

Actually SB family court here is not closed. I'm a novice, but I sat through 3 other cases and other strangers sat through mine. Miss Jasmine made some good points and was courteous. Some of the others have or think they have other issues with me and are "seizing the day." As you know Van Brujah is the charmer who said on another board that he hoped my daughter would die. He gleaned the information that she was very sick from reading another board that he is banned from posting on but can read.

However, rest assured that I will never ever post anything about my cases again - innocuous as I believe it was.

 

[marlasmom]

Actually Crissyk, from my experience in working for law firms, a retainer is just money given to a lawyer in advance and he charges his (or her) time against it. They usually ask for a retainer at the beginning of a case if they think they might not get paid - for instance in criminal law. I would doubt that you have to tie up your funds.

Once again, do not worry about your family member. I don't think she would ever get anywhere.

 

[DisMN]

Actually SB family court here is not closed. I'm a novice, but I sat through 3 other cases and other strangers sat through mine. Miss Jasmine made some good points and was courteous. Some of the others have or think they have other issues with me and are "seizing the day." As you know Van Brujah is the charmer who said on another board that he hoped my daughter would die. He gleaned the information that she was very sick from reading another board that he is banned from posting on but can read.

However, rest assured that I will never ever post anything about my cases again - innocuous as I believe it was.

I was very courteous to you when I told you the same things Miss Jasmine just said to you. I said it on another thread here a few months ago. It was you who read ill-intent in the comments I made to you about this very subject.


.

 

[VanBrujah]

there are people here jumping down MM's throat and accusing her of illegality and/or breach of her duty as a guardian ad litem. that's a major over reaction, wouldn't you agree?

No.


I suspect that whoever oversees her is NOT going to be pleased that she is discussing cases in such a public forum. I'd also venture a guess that the families in question wouldn't be too happy about it, either.


If that were my family she was discussing with the 50 billion people that read here daily, I'd be just a little pissed off - wouldn't you?


Of course you would.

 

[Lessa of Pern]

sigh...Van Brujah....as I said before, I read MM's posts. they're vague enough so that no one could identify the people involved.

let's look at one of the things she said. she discussed a 16 year old girl who's doing a great job taking care of her baby but the social worker wants to take the child and place it in foster care.

that remark could refer to dozens of young women.

she also said something about another child whose parents have totally abdicated their responsibility and she doesn't understand why social services wants to reunite the parents with the child instead of freeing the child for adoption.

that remark, unfortunately, could refer to thousands of children.


now, let's say she wrote something like this:

I'm representing two boys. the father has custody. the mother ran off to another state to avoid paying child support. when she came back to this state, she was thrown in jail. so she filed a habeus petition alleging the father wouldn't let her see the boys. the boys are aged 12 and 10.

that's a little more specific, and someone might be able to identify the boys in question. it's a "gray area" -- i.e, it's not certain that client confidentiality was breached, but it's arguable. (incidentally, the case I just described is real...and lest you think I'm violating some sort of confidentiality, the details of the case came right out of the newspaper.)

indeed, if MM is correct, and family court in florida is not closed to the public, what she posted on this board is a matter of public record and therefore no client confidentiality attaches.

 

[nuke]

Lessa and MM, you both need to go back to Miss Jasmine's post around page 2-3. The one with the guidelines for sharing information.

The first rule is "Is it in the best interest of the child to share the information?" If the answer is no you don't share the information.

Please explain how her posting these things on a a public forum is in the best interest of the child.
The only interest MM is interested in is her own. She posts about these things so people can tell her what a great job she is doing.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I think some of you are really allowing this to be a bigger issue than it needs to be. Let it go already.

BTW, I doubt 50 billion people read this board daily. And I don't think I, even if I worked hard at it, would be able to figure out who the heck these people are that marlasmom is talking about. You're talking about slim to none chances, and reporting marla to local authorities, just to rat her out and cause her to potentially lose her job, is just using your power as a "mandated reporter" for revenge because she didn't agree with you. While you have made some really good points, I think she's gotten the point, and won't be discussing things like this again in the future.

What ought to be taken into consideration is that marla probably meant well, and obviously has a heart for the kids she works with. Why beat this thing to death?