Chicks dig me

[onecoolmama]

Sorry I am out...I have never seen it!

 

[monkeyboy]

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet,

I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.

A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock.
So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one---big hitter, the Lama---long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

 

[Doug123]

"Nice hat."

 

[edcrbnsoul]

Whoa, this is the ugliest hat I've ever seen! Do you get a free bowl of soup with that hat? Oh, it looks good on you though. Whew!

 

[monkeyboy]

be the ball

 

[Doug123]

Rat farts!!!

 

[edcrbnsoul]

Oh, is this your wife. Oh, a lovely lady. Hey baby, your all right. You must of been something before electricity, huh?

 

[monkeyboy]

I was born to love you
I was born to lick your face
I was born to rub you



but you were born to rub me first

 

[edcrbnsoul]

heyyy, mr. golpher its me mr. squirrel iam just poppin in to see ya. (and blow you up)ohh the wires dont worry about those its docters orders...................

 

[kild]

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I

 

[Minnie Mi]

I collect spores, molds and fungus.

 

[edcrbnsoul]

Don't sell yourself short Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.

 

[monkeyboy]

Where'd it go?
Right in the lumberyard!

 

[Cyndiu]

I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.

 

[Cyndiu]

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

 

[monkeyboy]

I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?

 

[Cyndiu]

Bless this ship, and all who sail on her. I christen thee 'The Flying WASP".

 

[edcrbnsoul]

Can we do Fletch next:

If you reject the proposition, you keep the thousand - and your mouth shut.

Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?

It's nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you.

Yeah, I assure you.

One thousand just to listen. I don't see how you can pass that up, Mister...?

Nugent. Ted Nugent

 

[Harryo]

either of you boys homosexual?
you mean flaming or what?
no, were not gay ,but we are willing to learn

 

[Cyndiu]

Ever seen a spleen that large? No, not since breakfast.